YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The Rule of 20

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The Rule of 20 https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 15:39:31 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1711453 Wed, 10 Aug 2016 18:57:15 +0000 Beth Ann 1711453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm leaning your way, Lucy.  The next step would be to locate the best company to work with part time.  Fortunately, small business taxes and regulations are too bad in my state, but it is rough to live without benefits like health care and sick pay, etc.  I also have to pay into what we call "social security" on my own, when employees have a contribution made for them.  It kinda helps that these jobs are rather low paying, and tied to state funding that could always disappear. And, during an election year that's full of doom and gloom and crazy, it's nice to remember that there are challenges to living in all nations in the world. Lucy on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1711267 Wed, 10 Aug 2016 12:20:50 +0000 Lucy 1711267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmmm, I wonder if your third option might be a good one - take a PT position in the established format, but use the rest of the week to build up your own business? I have no personal experience in this at all, but quite a few of my friends have done this, including industries as  disparate as psychology and equine therapy!! Looking from the outside, it seems that one or the other will eventually be the strongest part of your week, and you will naturally drift away from the other. For most of my friends, the business took off, and they were able to work only 3 days a week for the pay of 5 days in industry (and also allowing them better flexibility with their children!) The downside in Australia of small business is that it takes an insane amount of paperwork/taxation reporting...  Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1711232 Wed, 10 Aug 2016 11:14:51 +0000 Beth Ann 1711232@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks, Gaylene, for taking the time to share this -- I've certainly had a off- the-path career so far!  I have noticed one thing:  people don't seem to see my age as a detriment -- they think the client families will relate to me as a "mom."  However, the pay won't reflect my greater experience.  Also, no one seems to be too bothered by my off-label use of my therapy training in performance and teaching voice.   The biggest quandary:  Do I take an existing job with bad (12-7 daily) hours and little to no opportunity for advancement, or growing pay (the therapists haven't even had a cost of living increase in 14 years), or go off the grid and create my own practice? The latter requires time, and continuous hustle, but allows me to create services that suit my skills and meet a huge need in the community. My version of a "temp" job might be pairing a part-time version of the pre-existing jobs, and slowly building my own practice with the remaining hours. There are days I wish I was a nurse, or an accountant -- anything more straightforward!  But then, no one would want me as their nurse -- or doing their taxes! Gaylene on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710983 Tue, 09 Aug 2016 19:56:51 +0000 Gaylene 1710983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Over the years, I've heard all kinds of advice from career counselors and HR people regarding job hunting, but the advice which stuck with me was that offered by a twenty something who had finally nailed her "dream job" a few years after graduation. She told my class of graduating students to write down a job description for their ideal job, making sure to describe specific responsibilities, outcomes, and activities inherent in that position. If the job required reporting to a senior level and/or managing subordinates, those items had to be included as well. Her point was to turn a nebulous dream job into a concrete reality--and to make them aware of ALL the skills that were inherent in a position. It was the second stage, however that made my ears perk up because she told my students most of them would never be lucky enough to obtain those jobs straight out of the gate. The reality for most was going to be a choice between unemployment and or settling for whatever jobs were currently available. Her stance was unemployment was only realistic if you had outside support and were willing to deal with psychological frustration of being rejected time and time again. The route she proposed was for my students to think long and hard about temporary positions which had the potential to give them the necessary contacts and/or gain the visibility or credentials to move into those "dream" jobs. She also warned the class to re-evaluate those temporary jobs every three months and not hesitate to try something else if money was becoming the sole reason to stay with the job. The key was momentum, not stagnation. In her case, as an engineering graduate whose "dream" job was in management instead of a field position, she opted for a position as hostess in a franchised pub after graduation--much to the dismay of her parents and the consternation of her peers. Within a few months, she was an assistant manager, and, within one year, had moved into a manager position within the franchise. After a year as a manager, she applied for an internship with an international oil company, competing with a host of newly minted MBAs, and got one of the coveted spots. Her technical background, coupled with her practical business and managerial skills, vaulted her ahead of the crowd. Four years after graduation, she was exactly where she wanted to be, with a six figure income to boot. Not sure if any of this applies to the kind of position you are searching for, but her advice worked for several of those students who sat in my classroom that afternoon. The path to a "dream" job isn't always straightforward, and, if those rejections keep piling up, it takes a very optimistic person to keep marching down the same path. What seems like a detour can sometimes end up being a shortcut. Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710783 Tue, 09 Aug 2016 13:39:50 +0000 Beth Ann 1710783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Angie:  Situations like this are a good chance to grow a well-placed optimism.  Not giving up! Isabel:  Thanks for the encouragement! Pil:  I'm familiar with this work -- it's very important.  There is great work being done in NICUs too. Anne:  It's been a challenge to try and make these connections in a new community.  I'm learning more and more about what it means to "walk by faith and not by sight."   Jaileen:  I'm grateful to have a few voice students --- I just tell people I'm teaching.  They don't need to know that I'm only teaching 8 hours a week! Jenn:  You have the idea exactly.  I'm trying to create a job, really, in a creative field that is notoriously underpaid.  Oh -- and in a new town that is very conventional, and known far more for sports (Peyton Manning, anyone?) than the arts.  I think football is a big waste of theater/concert/book money!  I must learn to accept the "nos" and "no response" interactions gracefully.  I need to practice Angie's "Next!" outside of fitting room! Summer: Yes, indeed, have great creative ideas will not feed the family.  All work is honorable, and I don't want to go on the "Dream Diet." UF:  Best wishes to you, too!  You are so right about the moods -- I try to ride them like waves, taking advantage of the ups, and moving through the downs.    unfrumped on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710746 Tue, 09 Aug 2016 12:05:32 +0000 unfrumped 1710746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Best of luck! Employment/ career changes and challenges are such a mind game. SO easy to be caught in mood swings and negativity. I have been making a major change and have at times felt a bit manic- depressive! Up one day and doubting the next. Totally have to remind myself -- you EXPERIENCE moods; your moods are not you. Summer on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710712 Tue, 09 Aug 2016 11:12:12 +0000 Summer 1710712@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That's a good, realistic plan, Beth Ann. Let's hope you will find your ideal job before too long.  Meanwhile, you have back-up plans,  which is all to the good. Wishing you the very best of luck.   Jenn on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710378 Mon, 08 Aug 2016 19:02:47 +0000 Jenn 1710378@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good attitude! A lot of writers make a game out of getting rejections. When you make it your goal to collect 100 rejections, you can trick yourself into being less dismayed when they arrive... and the route to success is paved with failure. JAileen on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710341 Mon, 08 Aug 2016 17:24:40 +0000 JAileen 1710341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I got laid off once, when I was pregnant! It was a very scary time. I think it's common now for people to be jobless at times. I think with your experience and talent, you'll find something very soon. I wish you the best of luck. anne on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1710249 Mon, 08 Aug 2016 13:39:58 +0000 anne 1710249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth Ann, this does sound really tough. Constantly having to put yourself out there, and do it again, and again. Even someone as outgoing as I assume you are will get tired. How frustrating when you have SO much talent and life experience to offer. I'll be praying for you to persist, and for your persistence to be recognized. pil on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709994 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 22:05:06 +0000 pil 1709994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth Ann, I saw this a while back and thought of you. So touching. <a href="http://michiganradio.org/post/music-set-heartbeat-lasting-gift-patients-and-families#stream/0" rel="nofollow">http://michiganradio.org/post/.....s#stream/0</a> Best of luck to you moving forward with your new vocation. You have such a good attitude, things have to work out for you! Isabel on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709936 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 19:13:52 +0000 Isabel 1709936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What a great attitude. I love your rule.   Good Luck ! Angie on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709933 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 19:10:44 +0000 Angie 1709933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ *APPLAUSE* Slow and steady won the race. Don't late anything break your spirit.  Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709690 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 04:27:48 +0000 Beth Ann 1709690@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks, Suz!    Suz on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709653 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 02:59:08 +0000 Suz 1709653@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's a good rule. And I've said it before and i will say it again -- any employer would be lucky to have you.  Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709606 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 01:45:15 +0000 Beth Ann 1709606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Chris:  "Assume that you will not know how it will play out."  So true.  And I waste so much energy trying to read the future, instead of acting in the now! Barbara:  Adulting makes a back up plan necessary!  Well, adulting and parenting --- there's the orthodontia to consider! Harmonica:  Yes, the constant reconnaissance and putting on one's best face is pretty tiring!  Kids start school next week, so I hope to have more uninterrupted time. Fan:  We have similar fields --- and I'm sure you understand that the security of the "government" jobs is not, well, secure.  The question is whether you take a premade gig that won't grow into any else, or take the time to "tailor" a situation to your own gifts and passions.  Wish I had a crystal ball! Thanks SheDev and Gigi, for the encouragement! Gigi on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709587 Sun, 07 Aug 2016 01:28:27 +0000 Gigi 1709587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You have such a good attitude! It is courageous to keep trying. I will pray that God gives you some discernment on what to do to make things work.  shedev on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709540 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 23:23:25 +0000 shedev 1709540@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bravo, don't give up. Style Fan on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709515 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 22:51:44 +0000 Style Fan 1709515@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good strategy.  I have been in similar situations as a Social Worker.  And now that I teach at the University I see the students facing these situations.  Being creative is so helpful. harmonica on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709480 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 21:19:01 +0000 harmonica 1709480@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I wish you all the best on your job hunt. It's just as much work finding a job as actually working! I find your rule great and I'll keep it as a reminder for myself. Thanks for sharing! Barbara Diane on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709462 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 20:42:47 +0000 Barbara Diane 1709462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sorry you are having a rough go at it, but I think your new strategy is a good idea. And it's good to have a backup plan, so you can have money coming in.  Companies and organizations seem to both want someone working yesterday and want to save money by not filling openings, or by delaying filling them.  Chris987 on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709461 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 20:42:25 +0000 Chris987 1709461@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You have it exactly right! I was laid off a couple of times when companies I worked for had a bad quarter (small company) , got acquired (big company) , etc, and I learned that you have to cast out that line over and over and not give up hope. Take a break when you need it but keep going and assume that you will not know how it will play out. It takes a lot of perseverance and faith in the future. Even when you have seemingly successful interviews keep casting out until you have received an offer in writing and have accepted it. A lot of things can happen along the way. The job of finding a new job was the hardest job I ever had. Wishing you all the best! Beth Ann on "The Rule of 20" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-rule-of-20#post-1709455 Sat, 06 Aug 2016 20:12:59 +0000 Beth Ann 1709455@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I made this rule up myself: "You must be willing to throw out your line 20 times before you decide that fishing isn't for you!  Throw it out 20 times and, if it comes back empty on that last try, you can go home and eat ice cream for dinner, followed by a good BBC binge watch." I'm not really fishing, of course, but I am on the job search.  It's difficult, because there is work to be had, but, while the special needs community has freed the clients from the institution, now music therapists working in the public sector (where the jobs always are) have no more benefits and poorer pay and working conditions.  Basically, they work 12-7 or 8 and drive between client houses.  Since I have two kids still home (for 4 short more years), and I really crave working on a team, the "government contractor turned itinerant therapist" gig is not my first choice. But now we only have one car, and a budget that needs a fresh influx of greenbacks! So....... creativity and innovation is my thing, and I'm trying to "make my own gig."  I've got to work fast, and I've got to get a thicker skin (younger looking skin would be nice, too).  I've been casting my line out once, waiting for a nibble, getting nothing, and following it all up with a proper sulk.  So silly!  I'm putting the Rule of 20 into effect today.   So far today I've cast my line out 4 times (sent out four queries).  Job creation isn't like fishing in a koi pond --- I'm in it for the long haul.  After 20, I'll take a short break and try again.  If I have to, I'll be a substitute teacher or do some other work for awhile, but I won't stop fishing!