YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The opinion of your SO

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The opinion of your SO https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 04 May 2026 14:37:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php ramya on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so/page/2#post-977267 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 18:34:51 +0000 ramya 977267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My DHs pet peeve? I donot wear heels and make-up(eye liner and lip stick ) enough :) My DH is pretty pretty good at predicting what looks good on me. And likes me to dress sharp. Only thing we disagree on is pant fits, He likes skinny I like all silhoutes. I was surprised the other day I owre a pair of bootcuts thinking I would chop them off. He says me . This would look fabulous with your heels!!!! So yes, our views match, but if he is not keen on something, then I wear it when I go out alone. Sylvie on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so/page/2#post-977246 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 18:21:21 +0000 Sylvie 977246@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My SO is able to provide specific reasons he doesn't like something.  He doesn't like one of my sparkly t-shirts because a) it's sequined and b) it's oversized and the armholes are a little big. I ignore him on the sequins because *I* like them but I see his point about the poor fit.  I've been meaning to try and shrink it in the sink.  But I haven't worn it in a while. I guess that was a long way of saying if it's a difference of taste (bold, sparkly vs subdued) I ignore him but if he has a legitimate complaint (poor fit), I take it into consideration. rachylou on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so/page/2#post-977203 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 18:00:18 +0000 rachylou 977203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mm. Well, I make my bf suffer by wearing said offensive item, then take great joy in his suffering, and then we laugh at my joy and his pain - esp. after I get tons of compliments when we go out, which happens invariably. But I suppose the circumstances are special. I mean, it's clear he's not in Kansas anymore. And he came to Kookyville of his own free will. He has to live with it. Lol. DonnaF on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so/page/2#post-976529 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 04:22:29 +0000 DonnaF 976529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmmm.  DH is a TERRIBLE dresser and color blind to boot.  I never ask and he never spontaneously makes comments one way or the other.  Oh, I sometimes ask whether earrings A or earrings B go better and I follow his recommendation. Now, sartorially, DD is my SO and I will at least take her opinion under submission.  She has a stink eye for pattern mixing and adventurous color combos and since I love to pattern mix those comments get ignored. Aziraphale on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so/page/2#post-976527 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 04:18:58 +0000 Aziraphale 976527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, with the sparkly wedge sandals, YLF unanimously voted "keep".  You can't all be wrong, so I think, in this case, my husband must be.  I'm just going to have to chalk it up to him having a poison eye for that look, for whatever the reason. Florence, I like that attitude.  :-) LBD (hehe, your initials also work for "little black dress" -- was that intentional?), I don't have to suffer any ribbing.  Hubby's got manners, and he knows I like my sandals.  (I didn't tell him about the voice of doubt inside my own head!).  But when, after a year, I asked for a second assessment, the answer was still the same.  He just doesn't like 'em! Shevia, glad to hear I'm not alone. Jaime on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976421 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 02:58:02 +0000 Jaime 976421@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a very apt example of this. When I wear my bone peep toe loafers DH insists they look like his late grandmother's shoes - and this is NOT a good thing. I stubbornly persist in wearing them anyhow, but his opinion does sort of taint how I see them and I am wearing them less. He is not exactly a stylish dresser but he does have a very good visual eye and his opinion does count with me. So if I still love something he doesn't like I will wear it but his dislike will influence my view of things. Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976346 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 02:07:05 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 976346@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My SO, for the most part, has impeccable taste - but he detests animal print.  He points out - and rightfully so - the impossibly large segment of women here in the Deep South who abuse animal print.   If I am being tactless now, I do apologize - but I am being honest:   the ladies I see wearing it the most, here in my neck of the woods, are rarely well-groomed, or, *ahem* tasteful in other aspects of dress or manners. But I have a Bettie Page leopard-print dress that I will not be parted with.   It fits like a glove, and I feel like a million bucks when I wear it - although I generally don't wear it if he is around.   If I do, I tone it down with a black cardigan or fitted pullover.    And I grin at him like a Cheshire Cat when his guy-friends comment how much they like the dress. You have to wear what brings you joy and happiness.    If you start editing or censoring yourself to please the tastes of others, you are never going to feel true to yourself.  Wear your fab shoes, enjoy them - and be prepared for a little ribbing by your SO.    You can always point out that if he's that focused on your feet, and not your other assets, then he really needs to get his priorities straight  :D    Or tell him to buy you some killer shoes that he'd like to see you in.  FlorenceFearne on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976337 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 02:02:22 +0000 FlorenceFearne 976337@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Since it sounds like your concern isn't whether he ever likes them, but just about how you can love them again, I see only one solution. The "cruise ship cruise ship" voice may never go away... so strap on those fabulous shoes with your sexiest dress and tell yourself, "That's right, I make cruise ship look GOOD! Next time, I may wear some orange lipstick, just to show those ladies how it's done." ;)  Thistle on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976334 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 02:01:39 +0000 Thistle 976334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I almost always listen to my DH. He doesn't have style, per se, but he knows if a piece looks good on me. If he thinks it looks good, YLF almost always agrees with him! marit on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976323 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:56:34 +0000 marit 976323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My husband is all like - clothes are clothes, they cover your body, The End. He often jokes that if I ask him "should I wear this one or that one?" and he says "that one" then I will inevitably decide to wear "this one". (It's sort of true, lol.) He's taken to just answering "YES" to anything I ask regarding what I'm wearing. He especially goofs on questions of shoes, since he says he hates feet. I come here for actual style analysis so y'alls opinion would outrule him handily. I mean, I want to look good and I want him to think I look good but I know fashion is something he really doesn't pay any attention to or care about. Anonymous on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976318 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:51:51 +0000 Anonymous 976318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ After almost 43 years of marriage I have a pretty good idea of what DH doesn't like and have found he's right. He keeps me from outfits that overwhelm me or are too busy, too boho or too dramatic. If he thought my sandals looked old lady, it would affect my opinion of them. Aziraphale on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976316 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:50:21 +0000 Aziraphale 976316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Suz, thanks for the confirmation about holding my ground.  That is my inclination.  Now, how to I shut up the little voice in my head that keeps singing cruise ship cruise ship?  :-) Thank you for all your comments, ladies.  Good to know that at least I'm not the only one who wonders about this! Isis on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976309 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:41:35 +0000 Isis 976309@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you could pull it off! Or at least giggle when you wear bejewelled sandals! K. Period. on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976299 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:34:56 +0000 K. Period. 976299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I like the ironic approach!!!  But back to your primary question...it does affect how I feel about items and it can affect it enough that I get no joy from them.  Hence, the boyfriend jeans that I thought looked cute and surprisingly flattering for oversized jeans were returned.  You want someone to share your joy.   Aziraphale on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976291 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:27:35 +0000 Aziraphale 976291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Isis -- Ironic orange lipstick and muumuus?  That would take some serious chutzpah.  lol Janet on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976289 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:26:55 +0000 Janet 976289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My hubs has a great eye and a really good sense of my style. I love when he gives something the thumbs up or says, "I love that on you." I got my LD Tuttle sandals while he was out of town, and when he returned and saw me wearing them, he pointed at the shoes, nodded, make a "hell yeah" face, and gave a big enthusiastic thumbs up. No words even necessary. Sometimes I do have to style something just so before he gets it. I have a fairly conventionally flattering black and white polka dot dress that he wasn't enthusiastic about until I put on my Claudia Cuiti stiletto peep-toes with the dress, which amped it up about 1000%. His opinion does mean a lot to me. I have a lot of clothes that he loves on me, so if I wear something and he says he's not crazy about it, unless I absolutely am in love with it, it will probably not get worn again. hedgiehog on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976283 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:22:09 +0000 hedgiehog 976283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm laughing at all the comments posted here. My DH does have an opinion on what I wear....particularly because my mother IS one of those old cruise ship ladies. If it's bright, loud or bejeweled, she will wear it. I think he's afraid I'll turn into her. So whenever I wear something that he thinks is a bit OTT, he says "it's something your mother would wear." Then my mind automatically pictures her wearing whatever "it" is and I usually see what he means. He keeps me straight! Suz on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976277 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:17:52 +0000 Suz 976277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mr. Suz -- like Suz -- is on a bit of  a style education streak. Years ago, before I knew him, he was a downright sharp dresser, shopping in Montreal for his French suits. And then he was a professor for a little bit too long, and we all know what that can do to a person's style instincts. (YLF professorial types excepted!)  Anyway. He is learning. Or re-learning. Whatever.  But he has never been shy of voicing his opinions and he is rarely diplomatic about them.  In our early days together, this used to upset me. I would get that feeling you describe. If he rolled his eye at me, the worm of doubt would start to eat at me. I wouldn't be able to see the item with the same enthusiasm.  But since then, I've learned that in all things (not just things sartorial) it is crucial for me to hold my ground. If I believed in it at first, I must continue to believe in it. Because 9 times out of 10, he will not just "come around," but actually come to love the item in question. IF I continue to wear it. And wear it my way.  Sometimes, it turns out, that what he really doesn't like is the way I have styled it at first -- perhaps not knowing quite how I wanted to wear it. Or perhaps just feeling a bit nervous because it was a new look for me.  Of course, there are exceptions. But even there, he usually comes to appreciate the item within an ensemble.  But I have to say, if I kept seeing orange lipstick every time I put it on, I'd probably be forced to find a replacement that we both liked! Aziraphale on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976273 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:15:36 +0000 Aziraphale 976273@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ VC, my husband has not changed his mind.  I asked him recently.  It's been a year; I think we're beyond hope now.  :-) Florence, it's sort of a moot point, since my SO works 80 hours a week and rarely sees me in the sandals anyway.  I'm always in bedclothes by the time he gets home.  On weekends, we do stuff as a family, and (in the summer anyway) I'm generally wearing flip flops or Converse.  When we go out, I take the opportunity to wear other, even more awesome high-heeled shoes.  (I have a minor shoe problem, and possibly need a 12-step program).   velvetychocolate on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976253 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:59:46 +0000 velvetychocolate 976253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My DH is pretty conservative, and I remember one of my first "new to YLF" purchases - a green and black Michael Kors dress that I fell in love with. When my DH first saw it, he didn't like it at all. Thing is, once he saw it in action (and not me just trying it on to show him), he loved the thing. I guess what I'm suggesting is that there's a chance your DH might change his mind or has already changed his mind - and here's you thinking he doesn't like the shoes. Is this possible? That at first glance, he didn't like them much, but maybe later on - they're much better on you and in practice than he first thought? shedev on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976249 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:55:02 +0000 shedev 976249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Everyone has stinkeye for some items. For my SO, its plaid. His dad wore plaid shirts and so did mine. He associates plaid with old men but I don't. When it comes to my tartan pants, which are a very classic pattern, I tend to take his dislike with a grain of salt. He also hates lavender due to his ex wifes loving it. FlorenceFearne on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976238 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:44:15 +0000 FlorenceFearne 976238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is a tough call for me. It really is important to me that my SO likes the way I look. That said, he refers to my cute little grey engineer boots as "rain boots," and he's said they're "not his favorite."  My compromise? I mostly wear them with super skinny jeans tucked in, and since he loves me in anything form-fitting, he can still appreciate something about the ensemble. Do I still hear the phrase "rain boots" echoing around when I slip them on? Yep. But I feel like he still likes the big picture. Do you maybe have something that your SO really loves the look of that would also pair well with the shoes? If nothing else, maybe he'll eventually learn to associate them with you looking sexy, and not with cruise ship ladies. :D  Isis on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976230 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:41:03 +0000 Isis 976230@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Maybe you could think of muu=muu's and orange lipstick....with an ironic edge?  Just trying to help out.... I never ask.  He does not have strong opinions.  And, like Glory, my kids think I'm either frumpy or too-young.  So I ask, but then go with my own opinion (and the forum!) Anonymous on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976228 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:40:17 +0000 Anonymous 976228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I had to laugh E, because one comment from DH like the cruise ship one can ruin something for me forever. It's like I don't see the association until I hear the comment. And then after that, I can't un-see it. Once I wore some Bass penny loafers and my BFF's husband said to me, "Oh, wow. I didn't know they made shoes like that for women." This was about 15 years ago and I wasn't very self-assured. I don't think I ever wore those shoes again. I'm sure my own husband has made similar comments, but for some reason I can't think of any.  MsMary on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976227 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:39:08 +0000 MsMary 976227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I had some things Mr. K didn't care for, and I just wore them when he wasn't around. The harder issue was the things he loved that I thought were questionable.  He liked to buy me things -- shoes, in particular -- that were either a little too hoochy mama or too uncomfortable or both.  I tossed 'em all when I left him!  LOL merwoman on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976225 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:36:02 +0000 merwoman 976225@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Laughing at the old lady cruise shoes - don't you hate when that happens. Even when if it is said in jest, everytime you put those shoes on, you can't help but think of that comment...and wonder if there isn't a grain of truth! My darling partner  is a real diplomat - if I like it, he likes it.  His diplomacy is not so helpful when I'm on the fence about something, however, my sisters are not shy in voicing their opinions. Aziraphale on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976221 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:34:03 +0000 Aziraphale 976221@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Let me rephrase the question.  Suppose, for argument's sake, that you have a significant other, and that he (or she) does have good taste and a sense of style.  If he/she expressed a dislike for one particular item, would it tarnish your enthusiasm for it?   K, I did ask him again.  Recently.  He said, Elisabeth, I'm sorry, I tried, but I just can't warm up to those shoes.  :-)  It's not like he's asking me not to wear them (he's not that kind of guy), but he still finds them amusingly granny-like. Diana on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976215 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:24:50 +0000 Diana 976215@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ J. has far more conservative fashion taste than I do, and he thinks a lot of my clothes are weird on the hanger, but generally thinks they look good on me. He also acknowledges that my outfits suit me, in a way that classic or preppy (his style) would not. So he usually doesn't comment unless I ask him about something specifically, and then it's usually a very general, "it's cute" or something, not helpful at all. I don't think he's ever said he hates something I'm wearing. He's bought me jewelry but never clothes! He's admitted that he's scared to. deb on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976214 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:23:59 +0000 deb 976214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ He is very style illiterate so he basically has no opinion. K. Period. on "The opinion of your SO" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-opinion-of-your-so#post-976213 Thu, 11 Jul 2013 00:22:39 +0000 K. Period. 976213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm in the same boat as you.  I think my husband has great taste, it just happens that my breadth of great taste is broader than his.  (He always describes his taste as a subset of mine.)  He very rarely questions any of my clothing choices.  He will say that he doesn't "get" an item and leave it at that. However, in the rare instance where he comes out and says he really doesn't like something, I give him a nod and most often will return it.  I figure that his lack of joy will ruin my joy in it.   Sometimes, however, he grows to love something that he didn't like originally.  My boyfriend jeans were a hands down "no" from him. He really hated them.  I returned them.  I bought my old-friend jeans instead (a little less baggy, but still loose and faded like jeans you've had and loved for a long time) and he said they weren't his favorite, but they were okay.  (Then he asked me to leave him alone and not ask him any more questions, pants on or pants off.) However, over the months, he has actually come around on the old friend jeans.  A few weeks ago he complimented me on how nice they looked on me.  So ((shrug)).   I don't think this is a man/woman dictate/power thing when you are talking about one item.  I think this is an "I value your opinion and I value you, so I will give on this" thing.  I expect that when I say something of his is going, it is going, so I expect to give a little when he really hates something of mine.    Maybe ask him again if he still hates them or if he just doesn't get them, but is reconciled to them.