https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 02:37:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1563160 Sat, 26 Sep 2015 03:47:32 +0000 UtahDesert 1563160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The negative remark doesn't have to come from a loved one for me (or for a lot of people here, from the comments above). The one I'll always remember is a green-and-white checked dirndl dress I wore one day in grade school (in the 1960s). My mother had picked it out, of course, which was fine with me at the time--I wasn't much into clothes. But it had a very wide (waist to bust) belt that laced in front. (Anyone know the technical term for this? I wouldn't really call it a corset, since it was straight across.) Another girl, Becky, took one look at it during recess and decided it was a girdle: "She's wearing a girdle!" I never wore it again, but Becky continued to call me "Girdlie," for the rest of grade school. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562989 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 20:40:21 +0000 Sheila 1562989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One day when wearing a black shirt fitted,with black pants flares- 8 years ago when I used to wear black - a fellow stopped me to tell me I reminded him of "Johnny Cash".</p> <p>Another time I wore this kind of flowing long white with large pattern Frank Lyman tunic that I was so happy to wear. I sat done and my daughter told me that I reminded her of "Elvis" with that sweater. </p> <p>That particular top has not been worn again. </p> <p></p> <p>My husband does not like above knee-length dresses on me- and if a dress has shrunk- or he thinks is too short- he&nbsp;makes the comment " I hope your not planning on bending over today&nbsp;"or "I hope your wearing underwear". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562808 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:10:50 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1562808@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I got a chuckle out of sea-salt's half tuck story. I read it to my husband because he has expressed some iffy feelings regarding the half tuck, particularly on men. His comment just now was "I think you just have to sell it, but you have to sell it in your own mind first." </p> <p>Like Helen, I got the pajamas reaction to my floral, jersey track pants at work and that was the kiss of death. I was already kind of feeling that, so it didn't take much to push me over the edge. To Una's question about YLF feedback being the kiss of death, it kind of is, but it does depend. When I asked about my shoe collection, the feedback was incredibly helpful in getting me to purge some that I needed to see in a different light, but I did buck the consensus on a few pair that I am keeping until styles shift. Still, the popular opinion was strong enough on my mind that I havent worn them since, with the exception of my nude ballet flats. (My own preference for them is strong enough that I am willing to wear them no matter what.). I usually really consider the source. I have a close friend who always teased me about my "witchy shoes" when I first started with that trend, but I knew that her eye hadn't adjsuted yet so I took the affectionate teasing for what it was. I also tend to take it as a compliment when people whose style is not up to date, express puzzlement over some of my choices. I feel like that must mean I'm on the right track. I am about to rock some people's world with some of my recent purchases! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562807 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 11:23:52 +0000 Bijou 1562807@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Generally my husband will not comment on my clothes however, when I do wear something to his taste (generally black and minimal - think the movie The Matrix), he will compliment me. &nbsp;I was once asked what airline I worked for, as the taxi driver thought I was a steward and I was off to the airport. That made me rethink that outfit.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562795 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 08:52:06 +0000 lyn67 1562795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It depends, but yes-the kiss of death is hard to neglect! Thus, we have to weigh it from where it comes-and if it matters more than our own feelings. There was a time when my DH did not like to see my nape nacked-so I was just not cutting my hair that short. Then, it happened by chance, and he suddenly approved, even complimented (!!) on my years younger look I got:-). </p> <p>Ref YLF lethal kisses:-), I am &nbsp;just a safe rider, so never got anything like that:-).</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562680 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 01:39:19 +0000 Kari 1562680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RE: YLF feedback, for me it varies. I consider the source and how confident I am that an item or outfit works. If someone simply has a poison eye for something I like, I just count it towards different strokes and keep on doing what I like. (One of the reasons I appreciate Angie's guidance so much is that she gives feedback that transcend simply having a poison eye for something as a whole, and more toward "here's what I suggest if you want to try this look."<br /> If I'm on the fence about an item or outfit because it's new-to-me (like the culotte length I posted about) I absolutely take YLF feedback into account. If I am confident that something looks great in real life but I haven't managed to photograph it well (and for the past couple years, I haven't had time to fuss over photos!) I don't consider naysayers on the forum a kiss of death. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562672 Fri, 25 Sep 2015 01:19:12 +0000 Laurie 1562672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a few.&nbsp; One was a Gap khaki utility type vest a few years back.&nbsp; I usually wear dresses to work.&nbsp; I wore it with some pants, and 2 people actually asked me if I was going fishing after work.&nbsp; I was not.&nbsp; This was&nbsp; in rural Virginia.&nbsp; Another was brown nail polish.&nbsp; My SO at the time said it put him in the mind of excrement on my fingers.&nbsp; And finally, I got a Lily Pulitzer style cotton, a-line skirt, thrifted.&nbsp; Light, so comfortable for the heat..&nbsp; my new SO, who rarely comments on my clothes, took one look at me and said "baby.. that looks sooooo old ladyish".&nbsp; So out it went </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562184 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 08:48:23 +0000 ananthimathur 1562184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember having a floral dress, but there was a certain person in my circle, who gave a negative comment on it. Trust me, since then, that dress hasn't seen the light of day! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562182 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 08:43:13 +0000 Helen11 1562182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Now I remember one- I bought a pair of soft pants in a bright green paisley pattern. From the market stalls, they are very popular. I thought I was cool enough to wear them out until my cousin arrived and was surprised to see me "still in pyjamas". I have now decided they are pyjamas. Even though a friend wore hers to playgroup this week, I can't do it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562170 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 06:46:18 +0000 Sal 1562170@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, I have got rid of four pieces through YLF feedback- I knew they were wrong though. &nbsp;I have been happy for these pieces to find a new home.</p> <p>I have kept my Mary Jane Heels despite YLF advice to move them on; they are in my holding zone but I suspect they will get worn again. &nbsp;I still like them and they are comfortable, quality leather and I know they will fill a place again soon.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562162 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 06:13:46 +0000 Deborah 1562162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm it really depends. &nbsp;My mum doesn't seem to "get' my style but she has learnt to refrain from commenting:) &nbsp;And her opinion doesn't sway me probably because we are very different personality types and our style is completely different too. &nbsp;My sister is a shocker with her quick wit and opinions and she christened my UO Harem Leggings my " Diaper pants" and my Laura Ashley Draped back dress as my "Diaper Dress" so I wear them frequently when I know I am going to see her lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562159 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 05:49:18 +0000 puppycat 1562159@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love stripes but earlier this summer when i wore a blue and white striped tunic with blue linen culottes recently my husband commented that my outfit looked like a 1920s men's bathing suit.&nbsp; :-(&nbsp;&nbsp; He seemed genuinely shocked when I immediately went and changed.&nbsp; </p> <p>Another time, some years back, when we were first dating he made a comment that hurt at the time, but now it just makes me laugh.&nbsp; I used to always pull my long hair back into a messy bun to keep it out of my face.&nbsp; One day I asked him how my outfit looked and instead of commenting on my outfit he said he preferred my hair down.&nbsp; I asked him why and he said "When it's down it's beautiful. When you put it back in a bun I feel like I'm dating Martha Washington."</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562155 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 05:31:52 +0000 anne 1562155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una - YLF dissapproval is not the kiss of death for me if I already like it, think it flattering and&nbsp;appropriate for my setting etc. I just figure most of you guys don't know those things as well as I do.&nbsp; And I'm harder on myself than most of you are on me. But if I am already uncertain, then it might tip the balance to not going for something.</p> <p>I hardly every get negative comments in RL.&nbsp; My DH is pretty positive - he didn't like my first pleather jacket, but he came around! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562120 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 01:49:19 +0000 JAileen 1562120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Boy oh boy, people are really clueless how their words can cut. Or maybe they're doing it on purpose. I'll try to be more careful in my own little world.</p> <p>I had some loafers that I really liked and, without being asked, my DH offered that they were clunky looking. Since he so rarely offers an opinion I thought they must really look awful! Anyway, I did purge them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562094 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:31:39 +0000 Dottie 1562094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wore an oversized black blazer in the 90s when they were all the rage (padded shoulders, longer length). &nbsp;Someone at work told me I looked like Johnny Cash. &nbsp;Never wore it again. &nbsp;Hahaha </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562085 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:24:14 +0000 Jaime 1562085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well DH's recent comment that my black dress looked funeralesque did pretty much turn me off that dress, but only because I wasn't in love with it to begin with. Basically when someone else voices a nagging thought the nail is in the coffin (to continue the metaphor), but I can be obstinate and contrary when I really like something. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death/page/2#post-1562084 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:23:20 +0000 Windchime 1562084@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, boy. Two come to mind right away. Most recently, I wore the Halogen black and cream pleated midi skirt with a silky black blouse and black ankle boots. I thought it was a great outfit until someone at work told me I looked like the Wicked Witch of the West! So much for that outfit idea. I still love and wear the skirt and get lots of compliments on it.</p> <p>Much more embarrassing was when I was in high school and wearing a dress I'd made myself. Someone asked me if I was pregnant. I was completely mortified--and no, I was definitely NOT pregnant. That was the last time I ever wore that dress, you can be sure! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562081 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:19:46 +0000 Anonymous 1562081@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My brother (who has never been known to hold back an opinion) christened the dress I wore to his wedding 'the toothpaste tube'. The dress went shortly thereafter, though the photographic evidence remains--outlasting his bride I might add. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562065 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:08:11 +0000 Anonymous 1562065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A sweater that I bought last winter. It had a raised two color all over pattern and my daughter called it my Cosby sweater. Done. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562061 Thu, 24 Sep 2015 00:03:47 +0000 Thistle 1562061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't ever wear tan trousers with a red shirt as a co-worker always makes a "working at Target" comment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562053 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 23:45:25 +0000 Bonnie 1562053@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have had that happen but the time I remember best was maybe 20 years ago. &nbsp;I wore my new all white outfit to work (I thought it was super cute) and was told by more than one person that I looked like a nurse. &nbsp;Wore it maybe once again and the same thing happened so I got rid of it. &nbsp;Made a big impression and I've stayed away from white since. I do wear white jeans but no white tops without a colored topper.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562051 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 23:43:14 +0000 catgirl 1562051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is YLF disapproval the kiss of death for anyone? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1562045 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 23:33:22 +0000 Isabel 1562045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, so it isn't clothing ; &nbsp;it is food. My husband HATES sardines as well as broccoli. So whenever he travelled for work, I ate them ( not together ).</p> <p>I have no idea why people feel they need to make similes. Isn't saying that you're not fond of it enough ? &nbsp;It could've been the most beautiful vest in the world and if ONE person said it looked like a Wal Mart greeter's vest, it would also kill it for me. &nbsp; &nbsp;: &nbsp;( </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561882 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 16:40:19 +0000 Peri 1561882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My DH didn't like the Vince dress, said it looked like PJs...back it went. If I had been in love with it I might have stood my ground, but I was on the fence anyway, so yes, kiss of death. </p> <p>I am a little less influenced on day to day clothes. I know he likes fitted things that "show off my figure", whereas I think my figure doesn't warrant showing off and even if it did I feel no obligation to put it on display. I never wear fitted things and don't care that much if he doesn't like my loose and drapey. But a lot of that has to do with him not being around for most of their wear. For special occasion, like the Vince would have been, I really want him to like what I'm wearing. (But I still won't do body-con.)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561874 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 16:18:40 +0000 rachylou 1561874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh peeps know I'll send them packing before my clothes... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561868 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 16:06:55 +0000 salt-sea 1561868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband didn't used to get the half-tuck. Every time he saw me with a half-tucked shirt, he would say 'I think it would look better either tucked in or all the way out'. I explained to no avail. Then he went to a design conference and saw several other people with half-tucked shirts. He texted me excitedly with 'the half-tuck is REAL!'. Now his eye has adjusted to it and he thinks it looks good. It just took him being aware of it and seeing it on others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561866 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 16:05:31 +0000 Janet 1561866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Many years (and as many pounds ago), a friend and co-worker told me that the patterned pants I was wearing did my hips no favors. I think that comment helped cement it in my head that I really do not carry off patterned bottoms very well. I'm at least one size larger now than I was then, but I risk it with my dark tone-on-tone plaid jeans. Even though I've tried bolder patterned pants since then, I always end up rejecting or returning them.&nbsp;</p> <p>My husband has a very good sense of my style, so he'll speak up if he thinks something doesn't work for me, but he's very nice about it. There are some things he really doesn't like -- dark lipstick, mom jeans, etc. -- and fortunately, I don't care for those styles either.&nbsp;</p> <p>I haven't tried on my new Middle Earth cape/poncho thing for him yet. Hehe, that might get a reaction. We'll see! I was prepared for him to not like my Paul Green platform loafers, but he actually thought they were cool.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561858 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 15:45:48 +0000 Anonymous 1561858@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know my husband doesn't like some things that I wear - but he never comments unless I specifically ask, which I rarely do. The only negative/funny (now) comment I ever remember from him that was a kiss of death to the style was his referral to those long tunicish-over the bum sweaters we wore with stirrup pants back the 80's as tea cozies. &nbsp;Actually, he was right. Super unflattering. Never wore one again &nbsp;</p> <p>But I cannot imagine a co-worker or friend making a negative comment about anything someone was wearing - that would shock the hell out of me. &nbsp;I would NEVER say anything to anyone - and even when asked I'm not brutally blunt like that. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561785 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 13:16:31 +0000 nancylee 1561785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I bought a white moto vest at Zara a couple of years ago while shopping with some D.C. YLFers. &nbsp;In fact, Janet has the same vest!</p> <p>When I put it on at home my then teenage son said (with disdain), "too many zippers." &nbsp;Given the source, I didn't take the comment too seriously...but I did briefly wonder if the style was too "young" for me!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-kiss-of-death#post-1561782 Wed, 23 Sep 2015 13:09:25 +0000 Ginger 1561782@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so fun! I don't think I've had comments like this about clothing; at least none come to mind. But I did have a fun one from one of my brothers.</p> <p>When I was a teen, maybe 16, I ended up with some darkish gray, metallic nail polish. When I tried it out on my toenails, one of my younger brothers <i>hated </i>it. He was probably about 12, a typical boy who didn't care about clothes as long as he was covered. But he just couldn't stand the color, nor could he explain why.&nbsp; Such a decided opinion really caught my attention! I think I took it off right away. Thankfully it wasn't a color I liked either (it was a party favor) so the "kiss of death" wasn't a big deal. It's sure stuck with me, though.</p> <p>Interestingly, he's the brother who did get interested in clothes in late high school and college. He had me go shopping with him sometimes, trying to get nicer and more up-to-date things. Options are limited when you're 6'8" and less than 170lb, but we still found things and had fun. </p>