https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 03 May 2026 06:07:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1434707 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 20:26:08 +0000 shiny 1434707@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I turn 50 this year, and all I can say is that it's quite a quandary for me to figure out how 50 is <i>supposed</i> to look. This forum doesn't help -- I can't tell what anybody's age is here. You all look smashing and modern and agelessly stylish.</p> <p>I've spent the majority of my life looking much younger, and struggling/wanting to&nbsp;look my age. &nbsp;Baby face &amp;&nbsp;short enough to swim in adult size clothing. Which not only makes me look like a kid playing dress up ... but also ... <i>frumpy. </i>When I think of frumpy, I don't think of age. I think of&nbsp;ill fitting clothes, lack time for&nbsp;self care. &nbsp;Which can be a matter of circumstance -- I have had plenty of frumpy periods in my life, due to lack of $ and time. When I see someone looking frumpy I don't automatically assume they don't care -- I assume they have too many other things going on in their lives to have time and resources&nbsp;to care. The new mother. The recently divorced. The woman taking care of ailing parents. The recently unemployed. The woman getting fit &amp;&nbsp;dropping weight too fast for new clothes.&nbsp;Since I've been all of these at one point in my life, I can totally relate.&nbsp;</p> <p>Now I'm nearly 50 ...&nbsp;&nbsp;Do I finally look my age? I have no clue. &nbsp;When I look at the skin on my neck and my hands, yes, I see 50. I certainly feel 50. I relate to my peers, for sure.&nbsp;Physically, I often&nbsp;feel older than 50!</p> <p>How do I want to be judged? I'd love to hear "you look good for&nbsp;your age." That to me is the best compliment possible. I much&nbsp;prefer it to "I can't believe you're 50-- you look younger." </p> <p>"I can't tell how old you are" would also be fun to hear. Keep 'em guessing. :-)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1434655 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:08:35 +0000 Jill N. 1434655@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been such a great post! I've enjoyed reading everyone's take on aging and fashion.&nbsp; I worried for about the last decade that I was wearing things that were too "young," but my younger friends all insisted that was not something to worry about.&nbsp; You've heard the saying "The clothes don't make the man," and I think this is so accurate.&nbsp; With an open, positive outlook and mindful presence, the person will shine through,&nbsp;NOT the clothing.&nbsp; I do want to look classy and a little trendy, but I think more about my attitude and outlook first because that is what people will be drawn to, not outfits.&nbsp; </p> <p>We live in a *very* small house, and when we are planning parties I sometimes worry about space issues but then remind myself that people come to see you and spend time with you and your family and friends, NOT to judge you based on the size or number of rooms in your house.&nbsp; This is true also of your clothing.&nbsp; And I'm okay with this.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1434284 Fri, 30 Jan 2015 04:22:49 +0000 DonnaF 1434284@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What is *youthful* dressing?&nbsp; Like DD21 who shops at F21?&nbsp; (Shudder, shudder.)&nbsp; Skirts a little too short and a little too tight?&nbsp; I never even dressed like that when I was her age.&nbsp; I think now, at the age of almost 62, I am getting out of Frumpdom.&nbsp; Slow, I know.&nbsp; DD seems to think I'm stylish, but she is a little clueless on age appropriateness.&nbsp; Last year for my birthday, she got me lace skirt.&nbsp; Gathered with a thick elastic at the top.&nbsp; Decently long for sure, but destined for the far back reaches of my closet.&nbsp; Makes me chuckle thinking this is her image of me.</p> <p>I'm fine with my age and looking my age.&nbsp; My concern is whether my body will eventually morph out of my preferred brands such that I will only fit the most shapeless of the shapeless.&nbsp; Since we Baby Boomers are such a huge demographic, I doubt that it will come to that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1434020 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 20:36:00 +0000 Sal 1434020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have written a response and then deleted it because so many people make valid points about our culture, and our views on aging. &nbsp;The lines are so much more blended in terms of fashion and style than they have been - for example all ages wearing jeans now, and younger people also wearing black. &nbsp;Women used to wear caps/bonnets when married and widows wore muted colours.</p> <p>In my opinion<br />- Style is ageless but fashion, especially faddish fashion,&nbsp;can be for the young. &nbsp;This is both in the construction of the garment and the willingness to buy into fads and changing looks ie this year camo/next year fluoro.<br />- I think you can play to your strengths at different ages - 20 year olds can struggle to look sophisticated.<br />- I think you can be casual/relaxed/practical/not wearing fashion and still look great. &nbsp;</p> <p>There are some days I truly do not care what I wear, due to heat, cold,sickness, hormones etc.. &nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433860 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 17:44:03 +0000 Anonymous 1433860@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For me the trick is to try not to look like Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory. My older sisters are considerably older than I am and manage to look good. They wear classic clothing, though. I wouldn't feel happy wearing their clothes. At least they haven't succumbed to clothing most often associated with old ladies and frump. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433628 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:13:33 +0000 LynneS 1433628@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am at the age (52) where I was starting to feel "invisible" until I realized that people were responding more to what was going on inside me. (It didn't help that I was transitioning to grey hair at the same time AND developing the menopausal "pooch" after being thin my entire adult life.) By evolving my wardrobe to keep the items I love (trends be damned) and freshening them up with more current pieces as other posters have suggested, the long skirts and other classics look intentional, not dowdy. This helped me feel better on the inside, which others responded to. Going to the gym more and eating better is helping me get to the point where I can envision flat-front trousers again. Even those in the most up to the minute clothes can look dowdy if their shoulders are rounded, they lack energy, and frown. Self-worth shines through no matter what you wear... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433620 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 11:49:52 +0000 Style Fan 1433620@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great topic!&nbsp; I look in the mirror and think (like Angie this is what 59 looks like(no Angie isn't 59 I am)).&nbsp; What is wrong with being that age?</p> <p>I dress differently now&nbsp; than I did when I was in my twenties&nbsp;because I have chronic pain issues, my sense of style has changed, I realize fashion changes and maybe I won't like something in a year or two, I know more about what flatters my body, colouring and personality, etc.&nbsp; I never consider my age.</p> <p>I have noticed that at this advanced age of 59 I am very well treated in the stores.&nbsp; DH, Sophie the dog and I were shopping in an upscale area of Montreal last November.&nbsp; I went into the store and the SAs invited DH and Sophie in.&nbsp; DH got a chair, Sophie got water and lots of attention and I was treated very well.&nbsp; Of course I find Montreal to be more like Europe so that might be part of what was happening.&nbsp; No I did not feel pressured to buy but I did buy what I had planned to and a bit more.&nbsp; :)</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433559 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 05:12:17 +0000 Adelfa 1433559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have wondered sometimes--if my income were greatly reduced, and I couldn't afford to buy some of the latest trends, and maybe got classic items from the thrift store--would I be okay with that? Would it be okay, at age 54 or above, to visibly stop partaking in "current" looks and instead wear classic and hopefully somewhat flattering items? Would I be frumpy? If so, would that be okay?</p> <p>I want it to be okay!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433548 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 04:36:56 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1433548@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their thoughtful and reasoned posts. I think you've pretty much said it all; I have nothing to add! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433431 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 01:07:42 +0000 Jeanie 1433431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well I feel like it is quite liberating to just defy style and put on what you feel like. &nbsp;Just as a nicely styled outfit can make you feel good, a just comfy not high style outfit can make you feel sense of power that you are throwing all caution to the wind and wearing what you want. &nbsp;(I say this in my old dockers with old fashioned long johns underneath). &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I will use CoColion's work "frumptastic" from now on. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433417 Thu, 29 Jan 2015 00:27:13 +0000 deb 1433417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, to answer your question, per Mariam Webster:</p> frumpy <p> <em>adjective</em> \ˈfrəm-pē\ </p> <p> .&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> <div> <p>: dressed in an unattractive way; <em>also</em> of clothing : old and unattractive&nbsp;</p> </div> </p> <p>the first use of the word&nbsp;was circa 1840.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433389 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 23:09:46 +0000 unfrumped 1433389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So, ha, I probably chose a controversial "handle" which at the time was because I had not updated or tried to "watch" fashion for some time.</p> <p>But I like how Peri puts it. Frumpy should not be the catch-all for all style evaluations.</p> <p>Honestly, when big white trainers came back into style I thought THEY looked frumpy, as it had not really been long enough gone to come back, you know? And because as may be usual, they seemed more okay on the younger set who could look ironic or trendy, while the older set, me included, could still look like we never made a change in the first place ( or, I would feel like I had to wear a sign, ha ha you think I'm frumpy but I'm trending way ahead of you!).. So funny! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433308 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 19:54:41 +0000 abc 1433308@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RL, you are on a ROLL between the maternity wear comment and the puffy sleeves. &nbsp;ROFLMAO and man did I need that today!</p> <p>Anna, it's also back to the whole thing about you have to have the confidence to wear certain things and how one person can pull it off and another can't. &nbsp;IMHO you have the mojo to pull off those fashion forward, not conventionally flattering outfits whereas if I put them on I'd just look ridic. &nbsp;I accept that and applaud you and love seeing your whackadoodle outfits </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433307 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 19:51:05 +0000 annagybe 1433307@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I took part of SSIF contingent to this store:<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://babyandco.us/">http://babyandco.us/</a><br />I have bought exactly 3 items there. One a matching sweatshirt and pencil skirt in a quilted puffy pattern. During SSIF I found a puffer vest with a tradition Nordic knit wool outside.<br />Overall though the store I feel has styles that don't really work on the very youthful. It's like you need a certain level of gravitas and wisdom to pull it off.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433299 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 19:34:38 +0000 Gaylene 1433299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Peri, you're pretty eloquent yourself because I think you've expressed exactly what I was thinking as I wrote my post. It's that not-so-subtle undercurrent when we talk about aging that I question. For example, Angie frequently talks about the concept of "just flattering enough" when she styles some of her outfits, but does an older woman who chooses to wear a low-heeled, non-pointy loafer, a skirt that covers her knees, and a top that hides a thickening mid-section get the same latitude--or is she more likely to be seen as "frumpy" and in need of a fashion-intervention. Is "fashion frump", to use Anna's term, only for the visibly young? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433261 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 18:24:33 +0000 rachylou 1433261@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, so, does anyone have any rules for dressing one's age? I love to look at those magazine pieces on what to wear in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. - but you know, frankly, I can't tell what the big dividing lines are. There's nothing obvious to me, like when on <i>Little House</i>, Laura put her hair up in a bun, bought a pair of boots with heels, and donned a longer skirt.</p> <p>Also, totally on a tangent, weird thought: What did 19th century women on the prairie do for maternity clothes? I mean, that wasn't a time you just went out and got some clothes. Maybe that's a reason women went into confinement, because basically they were in their nightgown all day...?</p> <p>Anyways, back to the subject, mostly what I've done to dress more my age is to drop the following: </p> <ul> <li>puff sleeves</li> <li>bows</li> <li>ruffles</li> </ul> <p>Basically, you know, stop dressing like Shirley Temple when she was 4 (but I note Zoey Deschanel is still doing so at her advanced age). </p> <p>I toy with the idea of doing straight / pencil skirts only, but I don't have that much mental focus and discipline. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433232 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 17:38:44 +0000 annagybe 1433232@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm, When I still posting outfits. I would occasionally veer in to fashion frump, which is very much a look right now in certain subsets of the fashion world. See also no make up trend. I remember some people here would question my looks because they weren't conventionally flattering. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully/page/2#post-1433229 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 17:34:46 +0000 Peri 1433229@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, you are singing my song. I am always on a campaign to decrease the use of "old lady" as a put down. Sure, frumpy = old is not necessarily true, but despite most of us not meaning to, it usually ends up being used that way, even on this well meaning board of lovelies. When was the last time someone said "Wow, that looks soooo old lady on you, you should so get that!".&nbsp;</p> <p>As usual, Gaylene has the eloquent voice I wish I had:&nbsp;<span><i>I'm getting more than a little tired of the word "frumpy" being directed towards any look that doesn't appeal to someone in her twenties and thirties.&nbsp;<br /></i><br />And like others, the frumpy&nbsp;earring post didn't light up my day. The term has become so easy to use that it seems to be catchall for: Not my taste, out of style, I don't like it, not something I would wear, not greatly flattering, associated with a specific period of time that is too far past to be in style but not far enough in the&nbsp;past to be vintage, etc.. Any of the above statements are fairly neutral. Frumpy is judgemental and always a put down.</p> <p>Making peace with aging is a challenge on multiple levels. Fashion is one of the least of those, but we all want to look our best or we wouldn't be here. Doing away with those put down labels would go a long way in my mind.&nbsp;</span> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433214 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 17:05:45 +0000 Aziraphale 1433214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the value we place on looking young is partly cultural and partly biological. There's no doubt Western culture reveres youth and beauty. It's too bad we doesn't value age and wisdom as much as we should, or as much as we perhaps used to.</p> <p>Anyway, this is a great question. Answering for myself, at age 42: I don't need to look twenty. I <i>don't</i> look twenty. I especially don't want to look like a 42-year-old who's trying to look twenty!&nbsp;</p> <p>I do want to look current and vibrant, though -- at the same time as looking age-appropriate.&nbsp;I understand what you're saying about the middle age thing 'bearing down' on you. It can be a bit of an awkward transition. I've tried to embrace the label 'middle age'. I really do feel, no matter what anyone says, that middle age begins somewhere around your early 40s, and we should be proud of it. With age comes experience and, usually, wisdom. Also authority. I'm really liking the increased authority that comes with middle age. It was hard to project authority when I was 25 and looked 16. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433177 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:38:51 +0000 unfrumped 1433177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it can be helpful to separate youthful or young from "stylish".</p> <p>And then just recognize that <u>stylish</u> can just be too much work some days, or you just don't get it right, or right/wrong doesn't exist.</p> <p>Then one version of "not stylish" is going to be frumpy if one is a certain age and combining certain elements, (sorry, I know that's subject to interpretation), one version is&nbsp;being sloppy, one is going to be "trying to hard", one is going to be this or that and especially that can happen if you are trying to experiment. </p> <p>So I don't think it's all about youthful, except for the adage that youth can wear just about <u>anything</u> and look great! So it's more a subtext of, maybe it's a little harder to grab &amp;go and look great as we get older.</p> <p>So, I defnitely head out the door on some days and feel I just did&nbsp; not get it right, but I have to let that go.</p> <p>OTOH I think there are certain combinations that don't work as well for me and that read&nbsp;less stylish to my own "eye" &nbsp;and I can choose to keep doing them or I can try some other version of "stylish" that fits me better.</p> <p>For example, you&nbsp; used the example of midi + loafers. That is a look I have found very hard to pull off, something about the proportions and my proportions, but I <u>like</u> loafers and I <u>like</u> slightly below knee skirts and dresses in some styles. But I found I prefer how loafers look with shorter skirts (which in fact may a be a fashion faux-pas in itself, but I think it looks more youthful (!) than the midi + loafer), and for longer skirts, I have found just one or 2 shoe styles that are comfortable but that seem to work better, are a little dressier and that's the way I'll wear the longer skirt. Been thinking about working harder to find a knee-boot that takes care of that issue.<br />FWIW it also means that I find longer skirts HARD to style for work because of footwear issues (they're fine with my short-wear party shoes) and casual and I made my own decision about limiting them for that reason, and focus on pants with boots, knee-length skirts, and so on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433176 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:37:41 +0000 Janet 1433176@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am turning 50 in six months, and I'm aware of all the little ways my face and body are showing the gradual aging process, and while I'm not thrilled with the changes, I am not so freaked out by it. All the same, I keep dyeing my hair because I feel more *me* with dark hair than with the wiry greys poking through. I wear a little makeup, not to hide my wrinkles or mask my age spots, but just to look that much more polished. </p> <p>Do I dress to look younger? No. I dress to feel like me. However, if I put something on, and feel like it makes me look "older" (unflattering in color or style, dated, etc.), I just don't feel like *me* -- I don't feel fab, and I will not wear it. For me, I feel like it's totally possible to dress for any occasion, even lazing around the house or cleaning my studio, and still look at least a little bit cute. </p> <p>Youth is relative. To some people, I'm old. To some people, I'm young. I prefer not to get too caught up in it all. I feel like my activity and engagement with all the facets of life that I enjoy keep me relatively young in mind and body. I never put on an item of clothing or an outfit with any kind of age in mind, only whether it works for my life, my style, and my body. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433172 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:35:36 +0000 Astrid 1433172@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@always trying, I agree on the "frumpy" earrings issue - I didn't get it. To me, jewelry is a very personal thing. So maybe some people don't like the jewelry you're wearing&nbsp; or think it doesn't work for your style/features/whatever, but I wouldn't attribute the term "frumpy" to jewelry. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433167 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:33:28 +0000 Angie 1433167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laura, you bring up an excellent point. The emphasis on youth is mind blowing - we are hardly aware of it anymore. It's ingrained and we are brainwashed. Women and men <i>want</i> to tell you that they've been told they look younger than their true age because it's perceived as a great&nbsp;plus in our society. We also tell people they look younger than their true age because we know it's high praise. Maybe we should all stop making comments like that.&nbsp;</p> <p>What's wrong with looking your age? And truly, what does that even mean? I look in the mirror and I'm 44. This is what 44 looks like. I'll look in the mirror 10 years from now, and that will be what 54 looks like. It's nobody business really whether I look older or younger than my age. It's subjective and relative. It is what it is.</p> <p>Always trying, any wardrobe item has the potential to look frumpy. The reason style exists is because there are bench marks - and not everything goes. If we couldn't differentiate from what is stylish and what is not - as subjective as it is - none of us would be on this forum.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433158 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:15:15 +0000 always trying 1433158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That word "frumpy" has really gone too far-when I saw the post about earings being frumpy I thought--now how in the #$@% can that be... How can any jewelry be frumpy-I must be really missing something about the whole frumpy concept. NOW even before this forum, etc. used the word to describe things like Out of style like in your closet for 20 years. polyester everything, elastic waist polyester pants, things like from that Blair catalogue etc.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433156 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:12:47 +0000 texstyle 1433156@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't associate frumpy with age either - it's more of a "I gave up on trying" kind of look that I see as frumpy. I find it hard to "dress an age." I still shop at the same basic places I've always shopped - and my taste is probably still similar really, though I hope I've gotten better about what I do choose.&nbsp; I see women (older women as I live in a retirement zone) all the time who have chosen to continue looking pulled together - and I see many who have chosen not to do so. It's hard to pinpoint the exact differences without a visual but the ones who are not trying in my eyes look as if they could have just dressed to do gardening outside or maybe they didn't bother to take off their "house" dress and just put on shoes and headed out the door.&nbsp; </p> <p>I will also say some women who are obviously trying, still do not pull it off and end up looking sort of "stuck in the wrong decade" or something. Harsh "helmut head" hair with odd dye color, makeup that doesn't suit their coloring (often they are very pale from staying out of the sun, but wear very dark makeup colors, maybe not applied very well), sort of too many of the wrong bright colors in one outfit, or often they will wear a signature of red/white/blue every single day (one woman in particular comes to mind), which of course can look great or it can look like they are stuck on July 4th in a Groundhog Day sort of way.</p> <p>So - bottom line, it's a challenge being stylish I guess no matter what age! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433153 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:04:17 +0000 Anonymous 1433153@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>After getting my hair colored last weekend, I realize that I'm never going to be happy with white hair. Why? Well, for starters, it washes me out and makes me look like a ghost. The truth of it hit home when the stylist had finished brushing all the color on my hair. I looked in the mirror and saw how pale I looked with all that gray/white surrounding my face. <b><i>EEK!</i></b> So yes, I will do like my mother and older sisters have done--keep the evil white hairs covered. For me, it's not about looking older. It's about not looking dead! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433151 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 15:00:16 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1433151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia said:&nbsp;"I like to dress experimentally sometimes, and I feel like my hair gives me license to do this without feeling like I am trying to look younger." This is something I have been thinking about recently! I'm probably about 30% grey. I have a horror of people thinking I'm trying to look younger than I am - I don't want to look like I'm dissatisfied with my actual age. I would like to look well-tended, which I suppose is a grooming issue, but I don't feel strongly about looking like I'm 30 or 40 (good thing, haha). My 40s were a rough decade, full of hard experiences, and I'm relieved and at peace in my mid-50s. A couple years ago I had all of my pants shortened to wear with flats. The tailor tried to talk me out of it, but I just was ready to not fight with my feet anymore. For me, when the choice is to look younger or be comfortable, I will choose comfort. Fortunately, comfortable comes in a lot more styles than I'd realized. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433143 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 14:39:28 +0000 shiny 1433143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When my mother retired&nbsp;she adopted a uniform approach to dressing: high waisted Lee jeans ("mom" jeans), white New Balance&nbsp;sneakers, white sweatshirt. Flash forward 20 years later and she's not frumpy, she's totally on trend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433138 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 14:28:50 +0000 Helena 1433138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great post! I couldn't agree more. At 40, I am looking to dress more maturely, not younger. I have friends whose philosophy is that they can wear what any 20-something wears ... true that, but I don't want to!&nbsp;</p> <p>Thistle, you are absolutely right, no conspiracy about it. Having worked in marketing, I can assure you that finding (or creating)&nbsp;a "problem" (e.g. aging) and then offering the fix is ABSOLUTELY what advertising and marketing does. Pick up a few copies of an industry magazine such as "Marketing" and you will read all about it.&nbsp;This tactic be very helpful at times (e.g. when you actually have a problem that a product can help with), but it can also drive unrealistic expectations and beat on people's self-esteem. I would highly recommend reading or watching the documentary "Killing Us Softly" by Jean Kilbourne, if you are interested in this topic. </p> <p>I am not writing off all marketing as evil by any means - like most things, it has its good side and its bad - but it's very helpful to bring a good dose of awareness to the tactics used when we are bombarded with so much of it.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-freedom-to-not-dress-youthfully#post-1433131 Wed, 28 Jan 2015 14:14:38 +0000 Anonymous 1433131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Elizabeth- et al. &nbsp;I don't think the frumpiness factor is associated as much with age as it is with style. &nbsp;I like to think I'm right on that one &nbsp;(as a nearing-mid 50's woman myself ). &nbsp;My mother is 83, and not mobile anymore, but I've never thought of her as looking&nbsp;&nbsp;frumpy. &nbsp;Ever. And I buy her clothes at the same place most 83 year-olds shop: &nbsp;Nygard. &nbsp;(so not exactly youthful and trendy - more stylish and pretty). &nbsp;Personally, I don't feel "pressured " by society to as young as possible. &nbsp;My internal voice still demands that I look as fashionable as possible, though - and what I choose now is different than what I chose as a 30 year old. &nbsp; &nbsp;Those kooky looking Advanced Style women are a perfect example of this : not one of them is trying to look young, but they (apparently, I say because some of them look crazy to me) all dress "fashionably". &nbsp;</p> <p>I think your vision of yourself in the mirror wearing a cardigan and a midi length skirt was more of feeling unfashionable and blah. It's easy to wear those same pieces yet in a more fashionable and attractive way. </p>