https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 02:58:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595523 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 21:52:57 +0000 biscuitsmom 595523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I havent seen a pic of myself that Ive liked in over 30 yrs, since I gained so much weight. Its not that I dont think heavier ladies can be lovely! They certainly can and we have several here, but I just.HATE. pics of myself so I can sympathize..although honestly, you are VERY pretty and have looked great in every WIW that Ive seen... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595296 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:44:56 +0000 Elly 595296@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will give you short, but I don't concede on "fat". I remember seeing your first few WIW postings and instantly thinking you were so cool! I absolutely loved how you incorporated edge into your looks without looking sloppy or inappropriate or trying to look like a teenager. I love your hair and glasses and they say "hip and artistic". I think the edgy side of your style and retro side of your style have to/should/could play well together. When I see some of your winter looks, my eye immediately goes to how you have your own style point of view and that implies that you know you are cool and therefore could care less about the risk of wearing something that might not be the easiest to wear or worrying about things you can't change (like being a mini-pin). </p> <p>I think part of it is that you don't have your spring/summer style as figured out. Not trying to force you against your wishes, but I think some of your summer looks are missing the strength that your winter looks had. I think you need a little edge, or a little in-your-face retro (like the red polka dot jacket) peppered in a bit more often. Wear things that make you feel awesome and powerful and in my experience suddenly it matters less that you aren't tall and thin. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595199 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:30:29 +0000 ironkurtin 595199@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Am I too late? What everyone else said!</p> <p>Also, seriously, when did "short" and "fat" become such terrible things? There is nothing wrong with being being untall or shaped like a girl! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595146 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:28:25 +0000 Transcona Shannon 595146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow. I do not even know how to begin to thank you all so much for your input. You've all made such excellent points about camera angles and lighting, mirror dysmorphia, etc. And you've shared personal insights and experiences which I find brave and helpful. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has felt this. </p> <p>I feel wrapped in a giant YLF hug and I truly thank you all! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595138 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:23:28 +0000 HelenInCanada 595138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oops - I know you want this thread to die a quick death, Shannon, but I have to chime in and say honestly the camera can be deceiving. I noticed this with my digital, particularly when the flash is on. Hopefully a photog/expert can weigh in on why, but often I'm surprised by how some shots I take of myself and others don't resemble reality accurately. The light catches angles, and flattens or highlights in a distorted way at times, depending on the pose. I took several pics at a girlfriend's party last weekend and was stunned they do not flatter the (very stylish and attractive) guests all that well. I recall telling my SO, "She looks SO much better in real life!" Bad camera! Tsk. Anyway. Try not to overanalyze your body in photos. Perhaps try taking a quick video of yourself instead, walking forward then away (if your camera has it). I find that MUCH more helpful to discern what I look like in my outfits! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595120 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:06:40 +0000 Lisa 595120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I look at someone's WIW photos, I am more interested in the clothing, how well the clothes fit, are the colors flattering, etc than in assessing the person's height or weight. I always think you look great, I've never said wow she's short! Oftentimes one is their own worst critic. Don't be too hard on yourself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595118 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:05:54 +0000 Anonymous 595118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We are our own worst critics, Shannon. I think you are fabulous!!!!</p> <p>I just wanted to say I that admire and I am thankful to all of you, who post pictures of yourselves. I tried journaling my outfits, since I really wanted to go on posting daily WIWs, but decided I could not handle it. I felt like I had to "up" myself everyday, and started questioning every single thing I wear and own. I suppose I don't have the self esteem to put myself out there, like you do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595109 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 12:33:50 +0000 ButterflyLady 595109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have much wisdom to add, but wanted to say that I empathise - I hate the way the photos I take make me feel sometimes, and the conditioning that we must all be very tall and very, very slender or we don't look good :(</p> <p>I've also realised that photos don't tell the whole story, and that all the mirrors in my house make me look different - so I am confused, and in need of Suz's brain blender! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595107 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 12:30:49 +0000 Deborah 595107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, you have moved on but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing so openly. I completely relate to how you were feeling. I had some time to myself tonight and was playing around with a couple of new things and there was a real discrepancy between what I was seeing in the mirror and what I saw in the photos... It makes me start to wonder just how deluded I might be about some of my garment choices lol. It would be interesting to hear Angie's thoughts on now outfits can look so different in the mirror to a photo. </p> <p>I know you are not fishing for compliments, but let me compliment you any way:). I love your posts, I think you have great style and I am constantly inspired by your outfits. I love that you are a fellow thrifter and have so much fun with fashion. xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595074 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 09:38:52 +0000 Mander 595074@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Taking and posting photos has been a curious experience for me, too. I know that I am objectively very fat, it's just a fact of life and I'm trying to move on. But it is interesting that my image of how I look in my head is so different from the reality. Case in point is the photos of me wearing the jean skirt and camisole from last week. I was appalled to realize how much bigger and flabbier my back looks versus the front view, and it wasn't until looking at the side view that I saw my sway back posture. </p> <p>I've been trying to take a detached view of these things. So much of my life has been spent mired in depression and self-hatred over the size and appearance of my body, but I'm really rather sick and tired of it and want to focus on dressing like a human being who deserves to be treated well. Part of that is learning to look at frank photos that show my real proportions and, rather than being disgusted and going on a self-hating tirade, looking at what does and doesn't work on those proportions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-595015 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 05:39:08 +0000 Vix 595015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Shannon --</p> <p>So glad you are feeling re-oriented since your original post. Others have said it much better than I (especially about photo angles/lighting).</p> <p>I don't keep up with WIWs but it seems like whenever I see one of yours I see a pulled-together woman wearing clothing that does her justice! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-594984 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:29:41 +0000 Kyle 594984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I look forward to your posts! It's a treat, and I admire your confidence and the fact that you have fun with fashion. I hope your spirits lift soon. FWIW, here is a true confession. Hubby wanted to buy me a nice outfit in Italy for our anniversary. He thought I could do better than my initial choice (he's honest with me) and we found a couple of others we both liked very much. These were nice pieces, and returns were not possible, so I was cautious and thorough. Ultimately I asked him to take a couple of photos. And they freaked me out. I totally wanted to walk away because what I saw in the photo did not match what I saw in the mirror. It was a horrible feeling. Hubby insisted and persisted, and I ultimately I just trusted him because he does tell me the truth. I haven't worn the new things yet because I'm insecure. But I will. I HATE that we do this to ourselves!!! Thanks for sharing your story. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-594982 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:25:46 +0000 ManidipaM 594982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I was going to offer a hug and commiserations, but since you're moving on, I will only say that I agree 100% with Diana and Ana on the vagaries of photography. Like so many others, the first thing I see when I open your WIWs is this lovely, stylish, witty, joyous woman that I'd love to call a friend in real life. And yours is one of the names I always keep a keen eye out for in the WIW stacks --- go tell your camera and your mirror that. (And thanks to Amy for that quick show-and-tell, which SO brought the lesson home.)</p> <p>I have to agree with DonnaF --- mirrors lie too. I have NO idea any more what I *actually* look like in real life, between an assortment of mirrors and cameras in my life! I need Suz's blender brain installed in my head, please. (Thanks, Suz, am still chuckling over that one.)</p> <p>I also wanted to say I totally get the trepidation and angst --- as well as euphoria --- of posting WIWs. I still have body image issues of my own, and the first few WIWs I posted turned me into a gibbering wreck almost! This is NORMAL with the social conditioning none of us have escaped, and all of us have taken on board in some form or other, to differing degrees. Yes, we militate against it, each in our own way and with varying vigour --- but hey, why do you think any of us seek validation not just on YLF but from family members and friends? We really *don't* know what we look like or exactly what to think. The eye see not itself...truly! And not even through mirrors and other eyes, exactly. Like Shevia, I for one am often in a state of disconnect from my photograph. I am *appalled* by candid images posted by friends on Facebook etc and hurry to untag myself before I wreck my confidence from staring at it all day. (Erm, sorry, this is not 'moving on', right? I'll shut up now.)</p> <p>PS: High five for Fern, from a fellow short (4'10''!) and round (51kg in high school?) basketball player! I'm clumsy and was never great at the game exactly, but boy did I have fun. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-594976 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 04:00:22 +0000 DonnaF 594976@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon;<br /> What I remember most about your slouchy pants (and I generally don't hold memories of WIWs for all that long) is how absolutely wonderfully they fit in the back, and how hard it is for at least me to get that type of fit. I was very, very impressed. (The front looked great, too!) I also wanted to add that I've always thought your photos slightly distort your body, something about the lens or angle such that I've always felt that you would look a bit different IRL or say, if a pro like Greg took your pic. I have two full length mirrors in my house, and each gives me slightly different proportions. This has led me to the conclusion that cameras and mirrors DO lie, same with magazine pics. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics/page/2#post-594964 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 03:31:54 +0000 fern 594964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You always look so confident! I agree, trying new things makes me feel self-conscious and I usually wear new silhouettes around the house first, so I can get used to them.<br /> This thread made me laugh and remember, many years ago, when I wanted to play basketball in high school and my dad looked at me doubtfully and said, "You know you come from a long line of short round people." (I did play, with none of the advantages of tall or fast ancestors).<br /> Now I look at my photos and think that I will dress my best, even though I come from a long line of short round people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594928 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 02:47:52 +0000 Jaime 594928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I know wrote want to move on, but I want to say that I totally connect with your feelings. When I first look at a bunch of WIWs I take I am always crushed. I have to look at them several times before I can reconnect my self image with the person in those photos and a few more times before I can even consider posting. I think it is very natural to hone in on our self defined sore points and forget that nobody else is focusing their eyes like we are. I love your WIWs, think you have found a great style groove and you are really a major source of inspiration for me. (OK, so I am not so good at moving on.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594910 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 02:24:26 +0000 Makrame 594910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Something that noticed lately, though - I used to hate seeing myself in photos. For whatever reason I would always look worse in the photos than in the mirror, the clothes did not fit right etc. After I started planning my outfits with the help of picture-taking (and WIW posts), I suddenly started feeling more photogenic - in other words, I looked better in the random pictures taken by other people than before. I think it had to do with using self-timer pictures to weed out the outfits that looked OK in the mirror but totally did not work for me. So I think there is an upside to all of this picture-taking angst. :)</p> <p>BTW, I often take inspiration from your posts and you do have the most infectious smile. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594893 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:57:16 +0000 Transcona Shannon 594893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Jem and Sona - I so appreciate your input.</p> <p>In the last half hour, I decided my pity party was no longer welcome! So I did what any YLFer would do and went and played in my closet!!! I've put together a few new and different combinations that I feel pretty good about using my rubric - the outfits that follow my rubric the closest are always the ones that make me feel the best. While doing this I figured out the crux as to why I was feeling badly about a couple of recent outfits:<br /> I'm trying new things out, stretching myself stylistically - this can make me uncomfortable which leads to doubting my choices. I love the new slouchy pants and I love my twirly skirt. I just need to let these two new silhouettes sink in and become comfortable with them. A few tweaks to make them "Shannon" and I'll be fine.</p> <p>Please forgive my mini melt down. Let's move on, shall we?</p> <p>Dianthus - a special comment to you my new "real life" friend: thank you. I remember you telling me when we were shopping that you don't lie to people about how things look on them and that you will always be honest. Therefore I am totally trusting what you are telling me. And I appreciate it...HUGS </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594892 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:52:06 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 594892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I believe I am the only one here that has seen you IRL and I can say with complete honesty that neither short nor fat are adjectives I would use to describe you. You are vibrant and alive and friendly and energetic.</p> <p>I have been watching your style evolution on YLF and have seen you go from cautious to daring. You are trying silhouettes that you didn't think could work and you are looking great in every one. You have developed the ability to take an inspiration picture and turn it into your own look. Most important of all, you are making fashion fun not only for yourself but for the rest of us who are living vicariously through you.</p> <p>You did not look short or fat in your slouchy pant outfit. You looked fabulous!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594888 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:31:25 +0000 Sona 594888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon: it is such a struggle.For me when I tried new silhouettes that just did not work : i finally said: I know what looks good on me and no matter what who says about tucking a shirt in: I look like a beached whale and FEEL like one when I do; ergo I am not doing it again. So perhaps I'm less cautious to try new trends as others are but might try a modification knowing my own body's limitations.</p> <p>Someone also pointed me in the picture angle horrors although fun house mirror sounds so much better.</p> <p>If something feels off take a days break from posting and maybe retry your outfit on your own and then post? or heck jsut not post for a few days. I know that both posting and not posting can be therapeutic for me.</p> <p>Don't know if i'm helping but you are on a marvelous journey striding along trying new things and tweaking old things: not many of us have the courage to do so in public. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594887 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:23:12 +0000 Jem 594887@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I needed to sign in to say that I'm sorry you are feeling sad today. One thing I like about YLF is that it shows how awesome women can look in all shapes and sizes. Unlike the popular media's view that you can only look one way. I'm always awed by how amazing you look day after day in your pictures. Heck, I barely get out of my yoga pants alot of days. You have great style and seem like such a nice person inside as well! That is a FAB combination for sure! Hugs!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594873 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:10:06 +0000 Transcona Shannon 594873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jonesy - note to myself: don't take photos of shiny clothes: they make me feel bad!</p> <p>Suz - I guess I need to start using my brain blender!</p> <p>Meredith - your comment "I think it is possible to get so hung up on trying to look thin and tall that we we can not develop the style we are meant to have!" has really resonated with me. Thank you for your wisdom...and your song lyrics! (lol)</p> <p>Again, let me say how wonderfully warm and kind you all are in providing me your thoughts, wisdom and reassurance. It means the world to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594865 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:04:41 +0000 Meredith1953 594865@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon,<br /> I have loved all your posts. In fact yours are among the first that I try to comment on. I love your style and think you have grace and wit. You are definitely in tune with your look and are perfecting it. I think it is possible to get so hung up on trying to look thin and tall that we we can not develop the style we are meant to have! You look great in your posts. Does this mean every outfit makes you look tall or thin....no....but you look like a gorgeous witty, sassy sophisticated lady. Don't go changing......I love the way you look tonight..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594856 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:56:40 +0000 Sunita 594856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon...every time I see your pics, I think "Wow! That woman sure knows how to dress!" Seriously, your outfits (esp. recently) are amazing!</p> <p>The 2nd thing I think is "She has an amazing smile and looks full of verve!" I'd love to meet you IRL.</p> <p>I'm pretty sure most (all?) of us are sometimes horrified by our pictures. But what the camera (while useful for generating feedback on YLF) is completely different from how you are perceived IRL. </p> <p>I tend to use my pictures to eyeball how things look on me in terms of coordination and fit. The former is especially important to me since I'm trying to push my boundaries. I do my best to keep in mind that the picture is only an approximation of how I look and how I will be perceived in that outfit. Attitude, especially confidence, has so much to do with sartorial success! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594854 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:52:54 +0000 Emily 594854@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I have never looked at your pictures and thought "There's a short, fat woman!" I always think, "Wow, she looks so happy and stylish". All of your outfits that I've seen are flattering to your lovely figure! And I don't think you're fishing for compliments - I feel that way too when I look in the mirror. I don't know how to get over it either, but hopefully if you hear enough times how wonderful you look it will be as true for you as for the rest of us. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594853 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:52:06 +0000 Suz 594853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, Shannon. Big hugs!! </p> <p>I agree with all those who have said that you are REALLY hitting your style groove, and your style is brilliant and I love it and I want to copy all your outfits ASAP and I also wish I could hang out with you all day because your wonderful smile and personality are just so infectiously fun!! </p> <p>I also agree that photos do NOT always tell THE truth. They may tell A truth....but in real life we often look quite different. In particular, in real life we are animated! And animation is part of human beauty and charm. </p> <p>My daughter is almost my height and my husband is much taller; like others have mentioned, I have to ask them to crouch or else people tell me I'm NOT wearing heels when I am wearing them (my legs look SOOOOO short!) When they crouch, I sometimes wonder if my legs are then coming out looking LONGER than IRL (which still isn't long enough, if you know what I mean...) and in any case, I often wonder if I'm getting an accurate representation of proportions, period. But I still feel I learn something useful from the photos, and I try to sort of put my mirror image of the outfit and my photo image of the outfit into a blender in my brain; I figure that in actual fact I look somewhere between the two. </p> <p>You are a truly beautiful and stylish woman. We are lucky to share this space with you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594851 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:50:46 +0000 Jonesy 594851@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Re. those silky, light-colored pants: There is something really diabolical about fabrics with any kind of sheen in pictures. Those sorts of fabrics just amplify or grow somehow in photographs; I am totally convinced of this! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594850 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:50:37 +0000 Transcona Shannon 594850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(posted at the same time Amy)</p> <p>"Fun house mirrors" - boy, have you got THAT right! That you for your reassurance - you're a sweetheart! And you're right - your proportions do vary in the pics you added so I appreciated the visual reference. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594849 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:47:39 +0000 Amy 594849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Photographs can act like fun-house mirrors sometimes. I totally know where you are coming from because I feel like that sometimes too. Check out how weird the pictures posted below make my proportions look. In some, my legs are like stilts. In others, they appear short and/or it looks like I have a GIANT head. Yay! </p> <p>The camera's a good tool, but it's flawed. I know what I know and I'm NOT a bobble head.</p> <p>Shannon, for whatever it's worth, what comes across to me in every. single. one. of your pictures is your vibrant personality, and creative and lively fashion sense. I really admire you and wish I had even an ounce of your flair!</p> <p>Try to shake off the sad feelings and keep in mind, tomorrow's another day! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-downside-to-posting-pics#post-594847 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:46:07 +0000 Transcona Shannon 594847@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Please know I'm not fishing for any sort of compliments or asking anyone to not be honest with me about my outfits. I truly do want HONEST feedback and if an outfit doesn't work, please let me know - I don't want to walk around looking like I got dressed in the dark! And nothing anyone has ever said about an outfit has caused me to feel this way AT ALL. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with my own perceptions of myself and my body. </p> <p>Ana - I do think you're right in that photos don't always show an outfit and how we look in it the way it is IRL. That's what's bothering me.</p> <p>Mona - you are sooooo right that I tend to always focus on what my body looks like, especially anything negative. I used to do that all the time and then worked on getting past it. For some reason, I've started doing that again.</p> <p>MaryK - you in no way resemble a gigantic hag! You did make me giggle though.</p> <p>Diana - I truly appreciate your insight on how outfits look and work IRL compared to a still photo. It does help to remember that outfits translate so differently IRL. This really applies to the new slouchy silky pants I just bought - I think it was those photos that kind of pushed me into this mental state I'm in now. The pics truly horrified me - I was convinced I was a 5 foot blob in those pants. And yet I know they looked good IRL and Dianthus was with me and agreed. That's when I doubt myself - the photo says one thing and the real life version says something else.</p> <p>Thanks for the laugh Una! And I love your nose!</p> <p>Rest assured, I am still having fun with fashion and enjoying pushing myself a little in terms of style. I'm still going to post WIW regularly because it allows me to express myself and I learn so much from all of your comments - please continue to keep them real. I guess I'm just having some sort of "crisis of confidence" (as Una had put it in her post) and I'm sure I'll get over it.</p> <p>I can't thank you all enough for your kind words - sorry to be so high maintenance! </p>