YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The Comfort Zone...what makes it?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: The Comfort Zone...what makes it? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:20:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Lyn D. on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/3#post-1180082 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 21:19:45 +0000 Lyn D. 1180082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I hear you on leather Moto jackets Suz- I have tried and returned too. My K/R yesterday springs to mind also. I like to be comfortable with the cost of an item as well as the fabric, fit and style, but I am willing to spend a bit more for the right piece in the long run. unfrumped on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/3#post-1180079 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 21:01:14 +0000 unfrumped 1180079@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ For this question, I tend to think of things that are fashionable but outside of comfort zone. And maybe also not "obvious" things  like, midriff-baring cropped tops in middle age or short skirts--because these things might vary. Very pointy toes come to mind, and it's not just physical comfort. I have a poison eye for them as they somehow connote witchy-mean (sorry, fabbers) and also an extreme of not-anatomic shaped clothing--even though of course neither are almond or oval toes and if I really were focused on foot anatomy I'd have to wear Earth shoes or something. So it's that it is more extreme and that it says to me (to me, for me) that I am making a really intentional fashion choice. Hard to explain. Any really expensive recognizable designer type brand or logo is also  outside. But here's where i would have trouble--if it were a super-fit, super quality item (and not just brand hype) and I found it thrifting or e-baying (which I don't do) for a crazy low price, then I'd really be torn, because I'd have to deal with my reality of not having paid any more, and maybe less vs. caring about what others might think. So this can be a problem even with better-quality clothing  at sale prices if it is somehow really recognizable, but can be mitigated fewer total items and re-wearing and re-mixing. High heels, meaning 4" stilletto pumps and sandals  come to mind even if I could wear them. They are so not part of any crowd I'm in (except my youngest DD!) and they don't fit the rest of my style either. Now, it would be fun to see if my answer changed if I really could wear them! And I do have HEWI's of comfortable medium-high chunky heels ( 2-2.5", woo-hoo!) and interestingly, just about nobody I'm with ever wears those, either, but I'm okay with that, on occasion. gryffin on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/3#post-1180061 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 20:43:15 +0000 gryffin 1180061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Suz - I think preferences in style and comfort zone are a lot like friendships.  I know many lovely women, very pleasant, but on some basic level I don't connect with them. I call it the "cosmic click."  You know immediately when you meet a truly kindred spirit, they just "get" you and you "get" them.  I think it's the same with art, literature, clothing (after all it's wearable art!).  I think that connection is actually a recognition of "self."  This is me, this gets me, on an almost primal level.  I don't think it's irrational so much as inarticulate.  Like the romantic poets notion that poems are "emotion recollected in tranquility."  We find it difficult to verbalize about things that create strong emotions, we can only verbalize once we distance ourselves from the emotions they engender.  Why does black sing the sirens song for me?  I think I could write a book about that!  Black "gets" me so many levels - not just flattery to my complexion, but on emotional levels of expressing my message.  Black provides the negative space that I can fill.  It embodies the qualities of mystery, quietness, intelligence, formality, and  simplicity.  It is a powerful and can be conservative, edgy, avant garde or elegant in turn.  These qualities are the  message I wish to convey - these things are me.  Brights would not convey the same message.  Those pieces, patterns, colors, textures that convey my message become me, what conveys an alternate message would be "outside the comfort zone" because there would be a disconnect between self and "the message", they would not convey "me."   Gosh, did that make any sense!! Anonymous on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1180033 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 19:58:18 +0000 Anonymous 1180033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Suz, this is such a thought-provoking thread. There are a lot of things jangling around in my brain right now, but I'm not sure how to articulate them!  Neel on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179972 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 19:10:31 +0000 Neel 1179972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ On second thought .... I am a new player ... And probably still haven't recognized my comfort zone. I am having fun experimenting and one day might be able to write a more intelligent post! :). Neel on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179962 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 19:04:30 +0000 Neel 1179962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmmmm .... This is a very difficult question for me Suz. I have stepped outside my comfort zone only 2-2.5 years back. I only ever wore Indian clothes that were always non figure hugging and non revealing in any way! So skinnies were a huge step. Knee length pencil skirts a massive step, body con dresses/sleeveless tops, short tops that *exposed* my booty .... A humungous step. All outside my comfort zone. I have learnt to say never say never the hard way! Now if you ask me, I experiment with every kind of clothing/trend and try and extend my comfort zone. I don't want to limit myself to an imaginary restricted zone anymore ..... that I have 99% of the time created in my own little head! That being said, I am body conscious/modest, and use shorts only when the situation calls for it (play/ease of movement). I just own one pair for *owning one* purpose o_O and I dont indulge in booby show. Else bring it on baby and I will give every darn thing a shot and try and get comfortable in it :) Did I ramble? Ack! Sorry! kkards on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179867 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 17:44:31 +0000 kkards 1179867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ i have 2 different comfort zones, the physical and the emotional. skirts and dress are on the outer reachs of my physical comfort zone...i run cold and even with tights, find pants warmer. i fidget and don't always sit like a lady, and in pants i don't need to think about my movements. which starts the loop on to the emotional comfort zone, since i dont wear skirts and dress often, i when i do, i feel less like myself, and therefore more out of my comfort zone. i'm not sure if the physical or the emotional comfort zone drove this one, used to feel the same about any heel above a kitten heel, but in the last decade or so, i've become comfortable with heels up to 3 inches. lyn67 on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179847 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 17:27:41 +0000 lyn67 1179847@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great topic, thanx for bringing it up, Suz! I tnk iIt's comming form the therm itself about aplying "comfort" to your clothes and style. Now, that I thought about, I love comfortable clothing, but  anything too RATE or too casual is out of my comfort zone. Also, I second  MaryK for not loving on my the  flat oxfords(but I have a wedged  pair wich i can wear well) and generally all the fat lace shoes in the world, but neither do I  feel the 3 inch dainty stiletto heels inside my comfort zone, too-and never felt so. I second Gaylene on hating most of the patterned tops if not something abstract, geometric and monochromatic in a very right scale (but also say a big NO to plaids of any kind for me)   I can do patterned dresses(but not ditsy!) and skirts so much  better. And, I second anybody with the phobia of  colored or printed pants....nor I'm  comfortable in  the very light distressed jeans. But I do love the white ones, go figure:-). texstyle on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179815 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 16:50:47 +0000 texstyle 1179815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love this thread! Sometimes I think anything other than a v-neck navy or charcoal heather tee and great fitting jeans is out of my comfort zone! Geez, I used to be more adventurous in fashion. That said, the real things that are out of my comfort zone are ruffles, flower prints (and most other prints), most lace, puffy sleeves, too many details or bling, anything crisp or simply not soft to the touch, anything too synthetic in fabrication and most bright colors, though I do have a fondness for neon pink for some odd reason. Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179794 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 16:21:54 +0000 Suz 1179794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Peri, your words are eloquent.  I think you're right -- there is the "too much" element to "out of comfort zone" -- although what feels like "too much" to one person won't to another.  The thing is, the "attention" we are drawing is often purely in our imaginations. Would anyone be paying too much attention to your cute bottom in plaid pants? I seriously doubt it. Would anyone be staring at my orange bum, or at me in a black moto? Okay, there are SOME motos that would draw a lot of attention, but they are so mainstream now, and obviously, I would choose a fairly restrained one. Yet I just can't do it. It makes me think of the print Club Monaco jacket that many of us loved on you but didn't feel right to you. Objectively, it would not have called undo attention -- but it felt that way. (And I understand this -- that's the mystery behind all this.)  Peri on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179693 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:38:45 +0000 Peri 1179693@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Trying to distill all the replies, I'm coming back to what I meant about the pants. Clothes at their most elemental are for protection...to cover what we don't want exposed. That can be psychological as well. "Don't look here, look someplace else." Most of the "out of my comfort zone" replies seem to referring to something being too much. That it draws too much attention, or attention to what we prefer to hide...examples of clothes not doing their job. Either physically (don't look at my butt...yeah that's psychological too) or psychologically (I'm not wearing pretty because I assume I have failed at being pretty). So something being "not my style" is just about taste. I like this, I don't like that. Comfort zone is deeper. Delicate jewelry might not be someone's taste, but I'm not sure it can make someone uncomfortable. Suz, if this makes sense at all...try to take it and word it better for me!  adorkable on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179661 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:15:54 +0000 adorkable 1179661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I *love* this discussion! For me it's anything waistless ... although I love my new orange sweater ... but there's a fine line between that (which is out of my comfort zone but very me) and all the things that look absolutely dreadful on me, like crew necks and woven button-downs. leopardluxe on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179651 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:08:26 +0000 leopardluxe 1179651@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is such a great thread! I love how one person's comfort zone is another's total discomfort zone (and that both looks would look great on both people to anyone else's eye). So much about style/fashion is highly personal. It's what resonates with you. I personally very much have a comfort zone as well as a category of clothing styles that I would categorize as "outside my zone": <ul> <li>classic conservative looks/items</li> <li>preppy looks/items</li> <li>very sporty looks</li> <li>overtly frilly or feminine looks</li> </ul> In life, work and fashion I make it a point to often push myself well outside my comfort zone so I don't close the door to learning and evolving. I've found as I get older experimenting even more and taking risks has taught me a lot of valuable lessons. So I'll probably always be trying to figure out my personal line between fashion fabulous and fashion faux pax. The joy is in the journey not the destination, imho. I already know where I "live" fashion-wise. I want to make sure I visit "foreign lands" on a regular basis so I can see what I can learn and appreciate from that "culture." Hmmm, I've actually found this metaphor is actually applicable to me IRL as well (I've done a lot of globe-trotting IRL, too!) Either way, I'm really enjoying this thread and all the interesting perspectives. Thanks for sharing them, all! Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179648 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:06:02 +0000 Suz 1179648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That's juts the kind of thing I mean, Joy. It's very odd, isn't it?  ETA: JUST. Not juts.  Sheesh!   :) Anonymous on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179641 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:01:04 +0000 Anonymous 1179641@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Not really out of my comfort zone, but I've recently realized that I have trouble with red. I like red and at first thought that I'd been wearing the wrong reds. Tomato looks great next to my face. But I have trouble styling reds unless it is with black and white or the same shade red in a column. It's not the brightness. I have a very bright orange blazer that is not a problem. My red blazer is practically a closet orphan. My red shawl collar cashmere pullover is identical to a taupe one but I have to make myself choose the red. I don't know what the problem is. I even have a lovely tomato red Kate Spade bag from Christmas that has not had a single outing yet. What is my problem!? Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179626 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:42:23 +0000 Suz 1179626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth Ann, it might also signal nothing more than your overall sense that life has become too casual! But in your case, in addition -- there is a constraint. The need to appear approachable, kind, thoughtful (all of which you ARE) battles a bit with the need to stand out, look special, be special (all of which you also ARE.) For the sake of others in your community you need to show the first side (and since they dress casually, that means casual dress) but then the other side of you is repressed.  Donna, you might be right -- an eclectic dresser might by definition be someone who does not find very much out of her personal comfort zone. But I still think there's a distinction between what works or potentially works for our style and what is in or outside our comfort zone...in some cases. The orange pants would not have conflicted with my style -- but they were out of my comfort zone.  Beth Ann on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179441 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 05:26:43 +0000 Beth Ann 1179441@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Super casual is out of my comfort zone, unless it really cozy lounge wear --- which I would never wear out of the home.  Last summer I worked hard to bolster my ability to dress for an extremely casual environment, but I still prefer smart casual.  Sometimes I wonder if my preferred mode of dress is signalling my desire for change elsewhere in my life --- you know, dress for the job/life you want?  Hmmmm......  Freckles on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179433 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 05:16:49 +0000 Freckles 1179433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would wear a tartan any day of the week for any event yet find it difficult to wear another patterned bottom (except houndstooth pants acquired last year) at all.  I'm sure I wore tartan in the cradle though and it is part of my heritage so that makes sense in that it is a cultural norm.  I also have always loved dainty jewellery and worn it yet if I try any denim or leather clothing I feel like I'm trying to pretend I'm 16.  That one makes no sense at all! DonnaF on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179432 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 05:16:34 +0000 DonnaF 1179432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So!  I'm struggling with the concept of personal emotional (dis)comfort zone versus one's personal style zone.  How to distinguish?  So this would mean that if a person had an eclectric style or whose style was maybe in transition, not so many things would be in her discomfort zone? Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179345 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 04:00:21 +0000 Suz 1179345@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una-- I think the super strong saturated colour in your Indian clothing is actually a real plus and makes it more easily fall in your comfort zone; it makes it seem feminine but not "girlish" to adapt a distinction Diane made the other day. (She was actually comparing ladylike to feminine). Also, of course, the Indian clothing is totally familiar and part of your cultural heritage.  I can't imagine ever wanting to wear kitten heels in Alaska, either. It makes me wonder how our style is really shaped by environment.  Shevia, no one could every mistake your stylish self for someone who just happened to trip!  Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179340 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:55:51 +0000 Suz 1179340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That's it exactly, Mary. I feel like that about black leather moto jackets. I really would love to wear one, and I keep trying them on -- but I just don't feel comfortable in them. I would feel super awkward in one even though it would fit into my style or at least be a reasonable extension of my style.  Whereas....hmmm....a super tight, super short mini skirt worn with heels would feel bad to me, both because it's out of my comfort zone AND because it is not my style.  And ballet flats. Totally within my comfort zone (well, if I could ever get any to stay on my feet, that is...we're talking emotional comfort, not physical comfort here). But they're not my style, pure and simple.  catgirl on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179338 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:54:54 +0000 catgirl 1179338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I shy right away from anything delicate, pretty, or overtly feminine, although (or perhaps because) I am petite and people always mistakenly think I am "adorable", "demure" or "exotic" when I wear girly clothes.  Pussy bows, frills, lace, gathers, sweet patterns, Peter Pan collars, dainty jewelry, kitten heels.... I guess it also brings back bad memories of Petite Sophisticate.  I see lots of others here do all of these styles well and I suppose I could too - but just wearing them makes me feel like jumping right out of my skin. Is it bootstrapping to say my comfort zone is what makes ME happy, no matter how out there it is in my environment (drop crotch pants!)?  Or is that "what makes me happy" the definition of the comfort zone? The exception is my Indian clothing, which is colorful, feminine and blingy! Jaime on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179334 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:53:38 +0000 Jaime 1179334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I will reread this whole thread during my more wakeful hours, but Ceit I am with you - I am as RATE as could be but am out of my comfort zone with distressed jeans (maybe because on me it just looks like I tripped!). I am out of my comfort zone and style with anything too body con but just out of my comfort zone with something too pristine (I feel like a disaster waiting to happen). Interesting to separate the two categories - fascinating thread Suz! MsMary on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179325 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:46:23 +0000 MsMary 1179325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would say to me, the difference is that I love flat oxfords and would love to wear them, but... I just can't.  Don't feel comfortable.  Love the, adore them, feel like they should be "me," but they're just... not.  Ditto sheer blouses.  I love them on others (with appropriate underpinnings), wish I could wear 'em, feel like I could make 'em work hypothetically, but I just can't do it. Whereas certain other things (I'm looking at you, platform sneakers) are just not my style and I'll pass on 'em without a thought.  And conversely, if I were to find myself wearing a pair of platform sneakers I suspect I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in the "outside my comfort zone" kind of way. Mo on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179322 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:45:08 +0000 Mo 1179322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for educating me on the derail of prints, ladies.  I had no idea liberty was a brand name, so there ya go.  Now I know carter on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179320 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:42:12 +0000 carter 1179320@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Even wth all the great examples and the explanation, I'm still not entirely clear on the distinction. So, I'll say these are things that would make me feel awkward if I were to wear them: ruffles, pouf sleeves, pussy bows, voluminous anything, small floral prints, pleats, themed sweaters, neon. I'll have to think about this some more. Gaylene on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179317 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:40:26 +0000 Gaylene 1179317@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ An example of Liberty print that probably scared me in the cradle--for Mo. rabbit on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179316 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:38:17 +0000 rabbit 1179316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My mother had a liberty print/william morris sleeveless blouse that I loved the pattern on so much I pinned it to my wall in college.  It was all tangled deep green leaves and tiny coral and blue flowers. The only way I know a few fabric names is through craft, having quilters in the family.  I don't know the names of many varieties of shoes and only basic clothing names though.  I sometimes have to google what people are talking about here. MsMary on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179313 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:32:59 +0000 MsMary 1179313@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Flat shoes are completely outside my comfort zone, with the exception of flat sandals in summer and flat boat shoes with jeans or shorts.  I bought two pair of flat oxfords a couple of years ago and just. couldn't. wear them, because I just didn't feel like myself without a heel on my shoe. Other than that, I'm uncomfortable in anything I feel is too "young" for me.  Most notably puffy sleeves, necklines that are too low, skirts that are too short. Sheer blouses?  No. And I don't like my arms so most sleeveless garments are outside The Zone.  Suz on "The Comfort Zone...what makes it?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/the-comfort-zonewhat-makes-it/page/2#post-1179303 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 03:27:40 +0000 Suz 1179303@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Liberty is <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.liberty.co.uk">Liberty of London. </a> Prime makers of so-called "ditsy" prints. Also some William Morris copycats. The only reason I know about them was there was a big vogue for it when I was young. Diana has a few Liberty prints, which look fab on her, and IK is another (unexpected) fan.