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YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Talking To Your Child About Santa https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 05:33:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Anonymous on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1106157 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:09:00 +0000 Anonymous 1106157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would stage being caught in the act of putting the gifts and then make it funny, with like a huge OMG you caught us, we are Santa! Bad idea? That's how my brother and I found out ( No acting, we caught them) and it was hilarious. We love that memory. There will be sooo many times when you actually will have to have your son face a hard, life changing conversation. I am thinking you can make a light, funny and cute situation out of this one. I see it as some sort of a rite of passage. Make it something cute, he can then tell his children about, why not? My daughter found out from my baby sister, jeez. OMG, I just remembered. That's not how it went down. My brother and I actually waited after Christmas to break the news to our parents. We even played with the gifts, by carefully unwrapping some of them. Hahaha. Best memory ever. londonkiwi (now back in NZ) on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1105534 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 21:28:17 +0000 londonkiwi (now back in NZ) 1105534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We are at the other end of this story. Miss almost 3 is now at the stage where she is starting to understand Christmas - and get excited about it, which is a lot of fun. I think that whether you are religious or not, Christmas is some what magical, and everyone needs a little bit of magic and light in their lives. Christmas for me has always been about giving, and this is what Santa does. I think that if he is avoiding the subject with you, then he wants to believe and I think that is nice and part of his childhood. Might be worth asking his teacher what she would say if asked? Echo on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1103063 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 23:49:22 +0000 Echo 1103063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My kids always had an answer for the kids who said there was no Santa. You see, Santa doesn't bother bringing toys to people who don't believe in him; why would he? That's why those kids don't get gifts from Santa and you do. Like I said, I still get gifts from Santa, but he leaves them at my mum's house for me. I never stopped believing. ; ) Ornella on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1103013 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 22:37:16 +0000 Ornella 1103013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, i just wanted to update the thread with this evening's events: <ul> <li>Mum, Boy1 and Boy2 said today there's no Santa.</li> </ul> He quickly started doing something else and seemed to have forgotten about it all. I didn't push the subject, but as his school is taking the entire class to the Christmas market tomorrow I'm guessing we'll quickly get back to it... Eliza on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1103005 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 22:27:43 +0000 Eliza 1103005@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So many good ideas in this thread.  It really comes down to the family and the particular kid.  One of ours quickly ruled out the viability of the tooth fairy, while simultaneously expounding the indisputable existence of Santa. We addressed all of these traditions the same way right out of the gate.  We told the stories of Santa, the tooth fairy, etc., labeling each as a story.   We did not have Santa bring very many significant gifts,  just a couple with his name on it. We answered questions when they were very young with "that's how the story goes", moving on to "what do you think?" and eventually discussions of what it means to have these characters with their mythology in our culture. Many thought that our initial approach deprived our kids of the full Santa experience, but neither of them ever expressed any sense of that.  It's really a question of what works for a family.  We were able to talk with our just enough older kids about how meaningful this belief is to lots of little kids, hoping to avoid creating upset for others.  Now that our kids are in their mid-twenties, it is clear how this kind of stuff just works itself out.  I don't know any families who had a big brouhaha about Santa one way or the other, though I am sure some exist.  Von on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097662 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 19:28:18 +0000 Von 1097662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think that from the very beginning, I didn't want to "lie" to him about Santa, but I didn't want to take away a huge part of his childhood Christmases.  I know it's not all about Santa, but still, it's fun to think just for a little while that it's real. As a child I always had gifts marked "from Santa" so we had proof that he listened, got our list, etc.  But with my son, we never really introduced him to Santa. He has never been to a mall Santa, sat on a lap and told a list of wants.  Probably when he was 5 or 6, we were watching The Polar Express, and do you know he said "So um, who is THAT guy?" LOLOL!!  At that point, I realized that we ended up mentioning Santa sometimes but not in a way that implied to my son that he actually was a present giver. As well, I realized that in the past couple of years, we had never actually written "From Santa" on a Christmas gift (oops!  Parenting Fail!!).  As of yet, I don't know that he will be too affected one way or another, but he's 8 and doesn't seem too worried about knowing the truth.  Last year, he only wants the basic details. How is this guy getting in our house and what happens if he sets off the alarm!  I'll tell you what he DOES believe in though...that darn Elf on the Shelf.  He has been asking about "Elvin" for the past two months! KayDee on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097468 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 16:43:32 +0000 KayDee 1097468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My now 9 year old is on the same cusp. A few years ago a lovely little darling at school told her that "Santa is your parents." She came home very upset. I asked her what she thought about what her friend said. Her reply was, "Like your parents would do all THAT!!!" (My husband and I are still laughing about that one.) I think she knows, or at least strongly suspects, based on things she has said, but we're letting her believe until she brings it up directly. I think my brother and I held on at that point for a few years -- "Well, we know it must be mom and dad, but we better not say anything just in case we blow it, and maybe it is real..." I also have much older children (23 and 20) and they have always supported the beliefs of younger ones. Seeing the magic through the eyes of an awestruck child is too magical to pass up. I think they came to it slowly and got used to the idea before they let me know they knew. Neither of them remembers a traumatic "Santa was ruined!" moment. When your son is ready to move on, he'll let you know.  anne on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097267 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 13:17:26 +0000 anne 1097267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can't really help you, but I have been reflecting on this a lot. We don't "do" Santa at our house and neither DH and I grew up with it. For us as Christians celebrating the birth of Jesus, as God choosing to come down and live in a humble human life, is exciting enough.  And yes I felt that it was important not to confuse what we think is the truth (not necessarily to do with the time of the year) with something I would later say I  wasn't true.  I never felt I was missing out on anything and I  checked with DD10 yesterday and she doesn't feel she missed out either. (We do give presents!) That said, of course a lot of Christians, including some in this thread, do differently. If we did, I think the only way I could do it would be a kind of "lets' pretend" way. We pretend there is a tooth fairy but they all know it is me. I remember reading "the night before Christmas" as a child so we were not cut off from the general idea. The other thing we have done is talk about the historical Saint Nicholas and I think like Beth Ann, that Ornella that could be a way forward to talking to your son. I don't think my children have been cruel to other children about this, but one Mum did ask me to stop DD (6 at the time) to stop talking to her child about it, which I asked her to. Because though I feel strongly enough about this to have brought them up this way, I don't particularly want them bothering others. So I have told them if someone asks them "what do you want Santa to bring" to answer "for Christmas I would like X" since the intent of the question is obvious". Maybe I should tell them to say the same thing as I want them to say to their friends if the topic of sex come up "this is something to talk about with your parents!"! Hil on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097208 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 08:28:14 +0000 Hil 1097208@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I cant remember if it was last year or the year before that my son (the oldest kid in the family) figured out the truth, with a little help from a school friend. He turned 10 this year.   Once the doubt crept in, I also went the "what do you think" route. Eventually, I explained that it was a story of magic and fun, and that now that he had figured out the secret (because he was now a big kid - I turned it into a bit of a rite of passage thing) it was his job to help keep it a secret from his little sister and cousins. We had lots of nudge, nudge, wink, wink moments with him as we started talking about wishlists and letters to Santa. He takes great delight in reaffirming that Santa does exist for the little ones. Truly, his biggest concern when the truth was out, was did this mean he would no longer get any presents. He also made me laugh because when I suggested that they write their letters to Santa, they had to stick items in from the categories of "Something you want, Something you need, Something to wear and Something to read"  and he asked me how rich Santa was feeling this year, so that he could list items accordingly. Carla on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097140 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 04:46:29 +0000 Carla 1097140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Like Carter, I never had THAT conversation with my kids, and they are 24 and 21! We aren't real religious, but we did tie the Christmas story into the gift giving by explaining to the boys that they shouldn't expect more than 3 gifts from SC since Jesus got 3 gifts on his birthday/Christmas (from the wise men). 'Santa' usually brought 1 big gift (like MaryK said...The Must Have Toy) some batteries, and a Terry's chocolate orange. Different wrapping paper, too! MsMary on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1097076 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 03:35:01 +0000 MsMary 1097076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I will say that being a little more loosey-goosey with the Santa thing would have come in handy the year that The Must Have Toy was unobtainable.  I managed to get one (via a corrupt Toys R Us employee in the pre-internet world), but it took years off my life, and I devoutly wished that I hadn't made such a huge deal about Santa being a real third party gift giver!  The "nudge nudge, wink wink" attitude started immediately thereafter! Aziraphale on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096807 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 22:33:49 +0000 Aziraphale 1096807@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Totally have not read others' responses, since I don't have time, but couldn't resist replying because I had to address this issue very recently. My daughter asked a couple of years ago if Santa was real. I said, What do you feel is real? He's the spirit of Christmas. Without Santa, there is no Christmas. (It's not a religious holiday for me; I'm an atheist). This year, she asked again, and I know most of her friends know the truth. She was nine, approaching ten, at the time. I decided she needed the whole truth. But I still feel that Father Christmas is real, in the same way that other gods are "real". That is, they are invented by us, but for the person who believes, they do exist. And the spirit of Christmas really does exist in our collective minds, and it's important that it continues to do so, in some form or another. Santa really IS the spirit of the Christmas. He embodies a wealth of history that pre-dates Christianity and encompasses western cultural traditions. Whether you're Christian or not, midwinter is a time to pause from the craziness of life and share time with your loved ones. It is a time to give and receive, to relax, to be grateful. This idea is covered beautifully in Terry Pratchett's The Hogfather, so I read it to my daughter. The book is both funny and moving, but gets you thinking about what Christmas means. It took a couple of months to read, but when we finished, it provided a perfect starting point for a discussion. I encourage you to read the book. It might help answer your questions. I too did not like the idea of lying to my child, but Santa is part of the magic of childhood, and The Hogfather gives very good reasons why it's important to nurture that early belief. Again, it's not a religious thing for me -- it's about our very humanity. We invent small lies like Father Christmas so that when it comes time to believe the big ones -- justice, mercy, compassion etc, the things that make humans unique -- children have an idea of how it works. We can't be human without believing in those things, even though they are merely concepts we invent and maintain. Note: the book is totally inappropriate for a six-year-old, so even if you do read it, I don't think you would want to read it to him. But you can still glean some ideas. Angie on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096435 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 15:27:04 +0000 Angie 1096435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Rosie and Jasmine thought we were vey funny looking Santas. And funny looking dogs for that matter. xo Anonymous on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096338 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 10:31:48 +0000 Anonymous 1096338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My son shares a tutor group in middle school with older children. It's a new system called tiering. But I still ain't telling him, no siree. I am keeping the Christmas spirit alive just like my old Nan always did :D (BTW, Ornella I'm kind of wishing you had chosen a more subtle title for this thread as I can't have 'YLF Off Topic' open on the computer screen with DS in the room... keep logging off and closing down quickly, lol!) Ornella on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096323 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:10:40 +0000 Ornella 1096323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OOO, sooo much wisdom, of course. I'm taking it all in. Suz... It's a story told to instil important values about giving to others. There is a difference. Thank you. I needed to hear (read) this clearly. IK :: LOL. I always hide the gift wrap I use for his gift :-D It might be early, I don't know. But, since he spends his afternoons in the after school club with the kids up to 11-12 years of age, I have no idea how tactful those kids are. They may burst the bubble in a cruel way. Some days he comes home and tells me "So-and-so says there are no super heroes. But there are, there really are. And when we grow up, B. (his best friend) and I will be superheroes." I tell him superheroes can't fly nor do unusual things and to be super hero is actually about doing the good, nice things to other people - then you are super hero to the other person - but he prefers the concept of big cape, flying, doing some sort of magic. Jeanie on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096292 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 05:35:02 +0000 Jeanie 1096292@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ To add to my first comment, my kids didn't question Santa until about 9 or 10.  I had heard from other parents that this was the age that they figure it out.  Maybe younger is a bit too young as others have mentioned.  My youngest is now 15 and we still put cookies and milk out for Santa and have stockings filled with presents from Santa.  My only problem now is staying up later than a teenager fill the stockings!  Lots of good suggestions here.  Your heart will tell you what to do Anonymous on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096240 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 03:46:28 +0000 Anonymous 1096240@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I knew the truth about Santa by the time I was in first grade, but I don't have any memory of how I found out.  I was the youngest of four kids, though, so somebody must have spilled the beans.  I knew a set of twins when I was six who still believed, and I remember being surprised by them. Isabel on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096233 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 03:38:29 +0000 Isabel 1096233@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Jenie, Deborah, and Caro, in particular have very good points. I think that we have been telling "lies" ( technically ) in the form of myths, allegories, and fairy tales for generations and generations.  It is an important part of cultures and storytelling that has survived. It makes a point, it keeps cultures and traditions alive.  It can be a fine line too as Caro said.  <div>And that dovetails well with Jenie's point about the "spirit of Christmas" and that is the Santa "myth" if you will. I also agree that your son may be a bit young, as Deborah said. Growing up Portuguese, we didn't believe in Santa, Baby Jesus brought us gifts.  I thought Santa helped give gifts to the Americans and baby Jesus to the Portuguese immigrants.  Those are wonderful, fond, memories for me.  I am especially touched by the lengths my parents went to on behalf of Baby Jesus who got all the credit for years !  I feel loved and grateful, not misled.  With that all said, my son is 12.  Two years ago, he caught me putting things in his stocking around 1 am.  I was mortified. I apologized and was ready to have the "talk".  When he said, "Mom, I have known since I was 8 that there is no Santa.  But I love pretending that there is a Santa. It is fun. "    My daughter is 10.  I have no idea whether or not she believes. I don't think that she does...but she still has so much fun.  For years, she believed on the "elf of the shelf".  She doesn't anymore.  But we still put him out and I move him at night and in the morning she delights in looking for him.  She knows he doesn't really fly under his own power, but that I move him.  To her, it is just another mode of transportation, but the fantasy is still great for her.  It is also a ritual for her. That is all she cares about.  Magic is wonderful.  Giving your child that magic in childhood, to me, is not lying.  </div> rae on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa/page/2#post-1096214 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 03:19:04 +0000 rae 1096214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, I never really believed, because Santa never brought what I asked for when my mom took me to see Santa at the mall, lol (and I wasn't that obnoxious kid asking for ponies and yachts, either). Either Santa didn't listen very well, or someone else was giving the presents! I clearly don't have kids but, if I did, I think talking about the <a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas">historical Saint Nicholas</a> would be a nice - and educational! - way to let someone down without taking all the good feeling away and replacing it with lies.  Echo on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1096152 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 01:57:43 +0000 Echo 1096152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I remember explaining Santa to DS1 when he was very little. He asked questions, and I told him all about Santa. I remember him looking at me like I was absolutely insane, and nodding very, very slowly. I am pretty sure that he decided to go along with it for my sake (as I was clearly off my rocker), but that he didn't buy a word of it. anya on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1096120 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 01:27:00 +0000 anya 1096120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was the inquisitive kind. I think i found out quite soon, around 6 or 7 ( i had just started school). When all my friends in school brought this up, i asked dad and mom at the dinnertime ( it was at the beginning of December, just after saint Nicholas, another gifting tradition where i live) " Well tell me, is it real?" Dad could not lie to my face. He was all " Around Christmas is a tradition, and this is about love and hope and etc" . I distinctly remember saying "that is not an answer"  , and "did you guys lied to me?" "then who brings the gifts, you , or the tradition" and "this is WHY it always comes when i am out caroling" and "the Easter bunny is a lie too"?  Somehow they smoothed it over, because i do not remember not being happy that Christmas. I remember being happy to indulge and sustain the magic for my little brother. I remember being all that more grateful for the gifts . So i guess kids get over that quickly. It was funny, when i was a child there wasn't this habit of someone dressing up and coming at home ( just at school, or at  mum's workplace perhaps) but i felt those weren't really real. So one year i decided not to go caroling and stay right under the tree to "catch" Santa. Of course, i fell asleep and woken up surrounded by the gifts. It was kinda cute.  dustt on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1096034 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 23:27:18 +0000 dustt 1096034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ forgot to add that when my youngest was about 8 I overheard her explaining to her friends - Santa is absolutely real - because why on earth would your parents buy you all this crazy stuff that costs too much money that you don't need!! dustt on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1096032 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 23:25:20 +0000 dustt 1096032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So my kidlets are 21 and 25 - the truth I told my girls is that Santa is real - he lives in the hearts and souls of both grown ups and children - if you don't believe than he can't come into your heart. Does he need some shopping help from imaginative parents - why yes he does!! we still all write letters to Santa on Thanksgiving weekend - and post them on the fridge!! minimalist on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095920 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 20:56:34 +0000 minimalist 1095920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Team Suz. But why stop the treats for Santa and Rudolph, as your son is slowly let in on the festive traditions? Una, if your son still hasn't figure it out when he's 18, maybe you can show him this: <a href="http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uMqMN9Bo0IE" rel="nofollow">http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uMqMN9Bo0IE</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rare_Exports:_A_Christmas_Tale" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R.....stmas_Tale</a> I can't quite follow why Santa is so often held is disposable symbolism, while other traditions are designated as foundational. Christians know that historical Jesus was born in springtime, not on December 25. And à propos nothing, Holofernes doesn't figure in seasonal ads for lactose-intolerance remedies. Diana on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095907 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 20:36:22 +0000 Diana 1095907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm, I think my sisters and I kind of just figured it out on our own, probably through some combination of intuition and friends at school.  (Oh, and at some point I think we saw our dad sneaking in with packages from the car wearing a red jacket, and we were all, like, "but Dad NEVER wears a red jacket!  Oh... right...".  Oh, and all the cute little notes/clues/rhymes that he would write on the packages were in Dad's handwriting.) I don't recall it being traumatic at all.   Even after we all knew santa wasn't real it was still kind of fun to pretend he was.  There's nothing wrong with that.   catgirl on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095846 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:52:04 +0000 catgirl 1095846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Echo and others, your comments are reassuring. Because DS IS that kid, but I am also that mother who keeps wrapping paper separate.  DS is not a snooper or a doubter, which I love but it also makes me want to curl up and weep as he is still so innocent! carter on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095845 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:51:14 +0000 carter 1095845@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've never told my kids, and they're 17 and 21. Santa no longer puts together bicycles at 2am at our house, but those stockings are still stuffed by Christmas morning. My kids laugh at me, but we all have fun with it. Echo on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095822 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:31:43 +0000 Echo 1095822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I told my children when they were in 4th grade, just because I didn't want them ardently arguing that he DID exist at school. I explained it by asking why someone would give them gifts. They answered that it was because that person liked/loved them. I then asked them who loved them more than anyone in the whole world, and they answered, "You and dad." I told them that was right, and that moms and dads wanted more than anything to make their children happy. I went on to tell them that Santa was all about giving, making magic and love for children, and that no one was better at any of those things than mom and dad. Because my kids were older, they took it quite well, and at the end of the conversation with each of them, I assured them that as long as they still "believed" they would continue to get gifts from Santa, just as Santa still brings me gifts at Nana's house. Each of them promptly "forgot" the conversation we had, and my kids - at 9, 11, and 13 - still ask Santa for things at Christmas.  Depending on the kids, I think it is okay to let them work it out on their own. But at least one of my kids would have argued that Santa DID, indeed, exist, and I didn't want there to be any embarrassment at school. I also told my kids that if they told their younger siblings or the younger kids at school, then Santa would no longer bring them any gifts - why should Santa bring gifts to people who didn't believe in him or to people who would ruin the magic for anyone else? Oh, and FWIW, I think 6-1/2 is far too young to tell. Don't ruin the magic that young, and DON'T tell them in November! Not so close to Christmas! Tell them in the summer when it doesn't feel so close and personal. rachylou on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095811 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:24:41 +0000 rachylou 1095811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I believe Santa is a truth, whatever accident of form Santa takes or is emphasised. ...But, um, you know, I think I should mention that Santa comes to my house every year. I have saved present tags to prove it! Also, my friend is a physicist, and I promise you they're very busy all of Christmas tracking Santa's progress around the world. <a href="http://www.cathye.com/xmas/xsantacoat.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.cathye.com/xmas/xsantacoat.htm</a> Gaylene on "Talking To Your Child About Santa" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/telling-your-child-the-truth---there-is-no-santa#post-1095796 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:10:09 +0000 Gaylene 1095796@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm with Suz in letting them work work things out on their own. As I saw it, my job was to confirm their own ideas by gradually helping them transition from thinking of Santa as a real person to a thinking of the concept as a delightful suspension of reality that represents the happiness we feel when we do things for others without expecting anything in return. We used the analogies of how reading a story in a book could transport us to a place that was as real as anything else around us, or how a super hero could live inside of us who made us feel brave when we were scared, or the way actors on a stage could transform themselves so we believed they were lions. Santa stayed alive in our house for many years because we always hung our empty stockings every Christmas Eve only to find them magically filled every Christmas morning. So, Denise, of course there is a Santa. Bring your stocking to our home on Christmas Eve and you'll find Santa is alive and well.