https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 03:45:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-983309 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 01:21:55 +0000 deb 983309@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here is my short version<br /> of my online dating.&nbsp;<br /> <span>After 12 years of single life<br /> I thought I would try online dating.&nbsp;<br /> Yahoo Personals were awful, Match.Com was a little better, and EHarmony<br /> was so much work.&nbsp; Got through the<br /> EHarmony process and was contacted by this guy.&nbsp;<br /> Well come to fine out, ‘this guy’ I had known for 25 years and had not<br /> seen in 15.&nbsp; I Met him for drinks in Feb. 2009<br /> and have been having dinner with him every night since then.&nbsp; He lived just two miles<br /> from me. Now we are spending the rest of our lives together.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Yes, I went to the meet and greets and even made a couple of short term friends. (they did not want to be friends once I told them I was serious about someone)&nbsp;I found it no different than meeting someone in the grocery store or elsewhere. In fact, I felt safer because there was written and phone communication and I was able to get a gut feeling about them. I never met anyone&nbsp;for the first time where alcohol was served</span><br /> because I wanted honesty. It was coffee houses only. And I did not let them know where I lived until after three dates. If they were not agreeable to that then they were not for me. In a nine month online dating period I had approximately 15 dates with different men. Some&nbsp;lasted longer than others. It was really not important to have someone else in my life so I was not stressed. If nothing came of it, then so be it was my attitude. I considered it a social experiment.<br /> I hope this helps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-983167 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:51:09 +0000 Raisin 983167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol, I just had to comment on Una's advice. I did once date a guy who technically didn't weight less than me, but I think he was very close. It was a bit hard, I'll admit it. Guys are built different, so at that weight he just looked a lot smaller than me, and I guess I'm not used to that. I got over it though! He was a nice guy but we broke up after a year (not because of size). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-983165 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:48:43 +0000 Raisin 983165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have much input personally but a gal I work with is on an online dating site. She said she went on the free sites at first and although now she has a boyfriend, she said if she had to do it again she would use the sites you have to pay for. Less weirdos, and more people looking for "real" connections, according to her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982519 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 12:45:04 +0000 chewyspaghetti 982519@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to cancel one of my dates- just too clingy! LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982366 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 06:38:06 +0000 catgirl 982366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just to add, don't rule out people based on superficial things like height, unless they truly matter to you.&nbsp; I have a fabulously eligible guy friend who could not get women to date him because he is slightly built (though very fit) and everyone told him they didn't want to weigh more than him. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982297 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 03:37:07 +0000 cloud9 982297@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Three of my girlfriends met their DHs online. I myself had a phone/email long distance for a while. I didn't meet him in person for a good 3-4 months. I thoroughly enjoyed the phone /email exchanges. Totally nervous at our first in person date. And I almost wrote him off! Luckily I promised myself that I'd give ANY decent guy at least 3 dates. I think it's on date #3 that things started clicking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982226 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 01:36:19 +0000 Sona 982226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Rae's pointer about not chatting too much on the phone or online is spot on. I talked 6-8 hours on the phone the first time with men I met online albeit in a convoluted Indian fashion i.e serious dating with the aim of marriage being the goal and both ended up being super let-downs. The one I had practically fallen in love with and there was no chemistry especially on his side.</p> <p>Short convo. then meet for tea and cakes as Angie would ay! Heck if he bores you at least get to&nbsp;enjoy the cake!</p> <p>Your friendly I was on every "indian matrimonial" site as was my husband but we met through our families anyway therapist!</p> <p>Oh so the last bit...your crazy Aunt Jemima who knows just the perfect guy for you...before you roll your eyes...just go for...tea and cake!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982216 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 01:28:27 +0000 MsMary 982216@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I got nothin'.&nbsp; You're braver than I am!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982114 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 22:42:35 +0000 rae 982114@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cats are underrated. ;)</p> <p>But to jump off what Gaylene said, on my dad's first meeting with his wife, they intended to get a quick drink to see if anything was there - and they ended up closing the bar down! I agree with Gaylene that if something is there it is there - no need to put time or effort in if not. Kind of like a K/R - on to the next one! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982110 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 22:34:31 +0000 lyn* 982110@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so frustrated I am often driven to tears.</p> <p>I would like a pint of ice cream and a soft kitty. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982053 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 21:10:36 +0000 Mo 982053@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I meet a lot of people at my bar and many conversations go to relationships and dating. &nbsp;A pretty good percentage met the old fashioned way - out for happy hour. &nbsp;Maybe the fact that we are all in a pub discussing this leans the odds that way, lol. &nbsp;Seriously, though, grocery aisle, chess club, whatever - I don't think the whole world has gone online to find their soul mates. &nbsp;Chemistry does happen live and in person. &nbsp;Go out and do the things you like. &nbsp;Hopefully you will run into someone else doing those same things and you can like doing them together </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-982011 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 20:23:44 +0000 annagybe 982011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's brutal. I'm about to call it quits and get a cat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-981891 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 18:26:19 +0000 Gaylene 981891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, I'm the last person who ought to offer dating advice because I've been happily married for 40 years, but I have heard an earful over the last decades from my sons, my friends, and my students about what it's like out there these days in the dating world.</p> <p>For what it's worth, I'd be predisposed to think of your meeting as just that--a <i>meeting</i> to see if the two of you have a mutual sense of connection when you are face to face. After a few minutes, if you aren't relaxed enough to enjoy the conversation, or if you aren't feeling positive about the person, I'd be inclined to finish my coffee/drink and make a graceful exit. I'd also be leery if I didn't sense the connection was mutual. Personally, I wouldn't much care to spend time with someone with whom I couldn't relax enough to be myself. And I'd want to be interested enough in that person to find out more about their likes, experiences, and opinions. If half way through the meeting, I was still thinking about my appearance or struggling to find a topic of conversation, I'd be seriously questioning the point of what we were doing.</p> <p>From what I've seen being the only woman in a houseful of males, my own observation is that too many woman seem to feel it's their role to make relationships happen and that males are naturally disinclined to do much of the work. To be honest, I hated it when my sons were dating women who were obviously investing much more time and effort than my sons were in the relationship. I know for a fact, when my sons were interested, their attitudes and actions definitely were driven by the desire to make the women feel desired and appreciated. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-981852 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 17:43:16 +0000 rachylou 981852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love talking about dating and relationships. I have a whole theory on this subject, lol, and I totally agree with Clara and Rae.</p> <p>I had some friends who became engaged online, without ever having met first. I went to their wedding. But I will note, we were none of us on a dating site. When you're on a dating site, I think Clara's and Rae's advice goes double. You have to relax and forget yourself (mostly), for a relationship to form. That's my opinion. You also have to somewhat forget the other person... stop yourself from objectifying them and examining them like a science experiment. </p> <p>I always found this difficult to do when doing the dating site thing (easier on a plain ol' chat board). After the first coffee date, I think the second date should be one where you have to share an experience - like a movie, but not a dinner - and where conversing is not the evening's planned entertainment. Something where you both pay attention to a third thing, but together.</p> <p>Also, I think the best goal is to be looking for a good person. Not a funny, intelligent, good looking person. The former makes for good relationships, the latter for good dinner guests. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-981836 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 17:25:38 +0000 rae 981836@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Clara gave great advice already, so I'll focus on the online dating aspect - I met my husband online, and my dad met his wife online! I also met two really great guys who didn't turn out to be more than friends, but I'm still so glad I knew them. <ul> <li>Don't waste much time chatting online or talking on the phone. The chemistry is <i>totally</i> different in person.</li> <li>Don't get caught too caught up in a certain type... dad's wife wasn't into tattoos, but after she talked to my dad she found she loves HIS tattoos.</li> <li>Do read the profiles <b>critically</b>. People who "like food" or "like to have fun" - or who have tasteless jokes or language - or who posted pics of them with other girls... those were instant turn-offs for me.&nbsp;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Do take a chance on someone - my DH wasn't in my "age range" online but it turned out the 11-year difference wasn't a sticking point for us.&nbsp;</li> <li>Do be safe! Meet in a public place, make sure you aren't followed home, don't give out your main email or home number until you are 100% comfortable.&nbsp;</li> <li>Do remember: it's largely a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better chances of finding The One.&nbsp;</li> </ul> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-981806 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 16:58:19 +0000 ClaraT 981806@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The age-old advice to relax and&nbsp;be yourself is spot-on.</p> <p>Fashion-wise, wear something&nbsp;comfortable that makes you feel pretty and that doesn't require that you hold your stomach in! You might want to come prepared with some conversation starters if you feel shy,&nbsp;such as questions about things your date might be interested in/have expertise in. People generally like to talk about their experiences/opinions. Movies/food/travel are always good topics that aren't too sensitive but that tell you a lot about a person. </p> <p>The less pressure you feel to be a certain way or achieve a certain goal (a second date, for example), the more relaxed you will be. Maybe think of this as a way to meet a new friend, and if there is romance, that's a bonus. Have fun and best wishes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/talk-to-me-about-dating#post-981653 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 14:08:22 +0000 chewyspaghetti 981653@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm tired of sitting home alone, and ready to meet new people. I'm actually on a dating website, and have two dates scheduled for this week (public places with people I have been chatting with). I have no idea how this works anymore- I haven't been on a date in 20 years! To be honest, I didn't date much the first tie around, anyway- just went from relationship to relationship (which is not what I want to do this time). Anyway, and advice or suggestions welcome! </p>