https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 25 May 2026 17:46:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726995 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 23:45:58 +0000 rachylou 726995@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh oh oh! I so have to agree with Angie that uniqueness is not an absolute criterion for stylishness. Stylishness is simply about looking good and not a total schlep. Being an original is a whole other level of endeavour.</p> <p>Also, clothes... always look like clothes. Top, bottom, shoes... you're never really gonna get away from the base formula. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726964 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 23:19:23 +0000 Gaylene 726964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for your extra comments Angie and RunnerChick. And that link is the perfect note on which to end this thread. Love it!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726841 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 20:34:08 +0000 RunnerChick 726841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And, oh, Gaylene - here's something fun that you can share with your son<br /> <a href="http://feministryangosling.tumblr.com/post/13049992836" rel="nofollow">http://feministryangosling.tum.....3049992836</a><br /> (H/T Already Pretty) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726722 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 19:03:43 +0000 RunnerChick 726722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been reading and following this thread with interest even though I have not weighed in. Gaylene, I think your son does raise interesting issues. </p> <p>When to be conventional and when not to be, and when being unconventional *is* the convention -- I think these are issues that I (and I suspect a lot of us) butt up against not only in our fashion choices and style journeys, but also in other aspects of everyday life.</p> <p>If you are following Sarah's thread (she posted a skirt-blouse ensemble with a pair of boots, and asked for opinions) , you'll see Angie threw in a "spanner" by voting "yes" on the boots while many others had suggested that Sarah swap out the boots for nude pumps. </p> <p>I too was rooting for a shoe substitution, but Angie's comment made me reconsider my opinion. Now, like some others who commented on Sarah's thread, I feel that each shoe choice with come with a different consequence in terms of the vibe the outfit projects, and Sarah should choose the shoe that's a best fit for the vibe she's feeling. </p> <p>The spanner moments are important because they are clone-repelling and, instead, they help us think about our fashion choices in the larger context of style and what might suit the occasion. I didn't wear a white dress at my wedding, and we subbed out dancing for Improv, but we did have cupcakes and toasts. Ultimately, I think you've got to go with what will make you feel good, what you're comfortable doing, and what's more fun. I also find it's easier to buck trends as I get older - perhaps the women your son is referencing might feel more comfortable about expressing their individuality as they get older? </p> <p>I'm not saying anything others haven't said, but that's my $0.02. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726508 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:35:27 +0000 mrseccentric 726508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>heeheehee........well, my male relatives are getting all up my nose these days, so any responses i can think up tend towards the sarcastic put-down, not the thoughtful remarks i see on this thread !!!</p> <p>i'll stay out of this one and let you ladies keep the tone nice and high-minded. steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726494 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:16:28 +0000 Angie 726494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have lots to ponder with DS, Gaylene :)</p> <p>To answer your previous question directed at me, it's a very subjective thing, but I think that a certain amount of current is necessary in order to look stylish. Classic looks need to be updated too. </p> <p>I've worked in the international fashion industry for 20 years. I am judged by non fashion professionals and the fashion crowd. You have to be comfortable with your look in order to be confidant, AND have fun along the way. THAT is is what makes you shine in your style no matter what - and automatically brings in that personal touch and shrug off comparisons and judgements by other people. Sometimes that means conforming to a popular look, and at other times it means going in the opposite direction. It's all good! </p> <p>Have to run again. Now till Jan is my very busy time of year. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726483 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:06:46 +0000 Gaylene 726483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Classically Casual, your conclusion is the one that I'm coming to believe in as well. The fashion "group" that you choose is the one that you probably will imitate; that makes it probable that everyone in the group will dress in a somewhat similar way. Sort of like high school? </p> <p>Makrame, I think the rolled up "look" is also popular in the J Crew style books, among others. As are animal prints.</p> <p>Deb, as I mentioned, he did concede that men dress in a rather unchanging "uniform", but he was more interested in how the women's "uniform" could be so similar, yet so subject to change. Everyone wearing orange and then dropping it like it was the kiss of death a few months later.</p> <p>MaryK *laughing*--oh, that does sound like high school. *shuddering*</p> <p>Anna, interesting comment about the blogosphere. When I first started looking at fashion blogs, the stylings looked so different than what I was used to seeing in the magazines. But, after a while, many of the bloggers do seem to look like they, too, follow a formula-- the blogosphere look.</p> <p>Caro *smirking* I made the same statement to him! LOL</p> <p>Jayne, I think you've nailed it! For all the time and effort we seem to devote to finding our individual style "mantras", maybe what we are really looking for is a subtle variation of the norm that will get us the approval of our reference group. That feels safe. It takes a much stronger personality to go against the grain and still feel great. And, when you have different reference groups, the balancing act can sometimes be difficult-- as MaryK pointed out.</p> <p>Deb, your point about conformity is a good one, but how does one avoid crossing that line where my conforming becomes cloning? I wear something that doesn't suit just to fit in and feed into my sense of self-worth. Hard to judge sometimes.</p> <p>Scarlet, my son is actually quite aware of fashion both because of his wife and his job. And I agree that Angie definitely has figured out how to look fashionable and stylish without moving into the "clone" category. Her jodhpur jeans and flats make her stand out in a crowd of fashion people who are all in skinnies and heels. And she seems very comfortable when she does this. That's one of the reasons I think her blog outfits are so interesting; they acknowledge the current trends, but are always her own. </p> <p>Well, ladies, you've given me lots to think about. I have to run, but I'm coming back to this thread to figure out an answer to my son's question. Thanks to all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726231 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 06:13:41 +0000 Scarlet 726231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was thinking along the lines of Jonesy, that it is only the few people at the top who have the freedom to be individual. Besides that, the fact that your son can articulate what these women are wearing so well (hilarious!) and that he actually knows what A.P.C. is (or gasp, shops there) shows that he is pretty fashion-aware himself. Besides that, one of the reasons I like Angie's blog so much is because she does actually have a very individual style and doesn't dress just like the rest of the fashion herd. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726211 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 05:08:46 +0000 Deborah 726211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am not sure that we can escape some element of conformity in life (and fashion) for all the reasons mentioned in the previous comments, but what comes to mind for me is our motivation for conforming. I "conform" (fashion wise) when I like something, and it likes me I don't do it in an effort to be something I am not, or to feed into my sense of self worth. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726198 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 04:55:32 +0000 jayne 726198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An interesting topic...I absolutely see this type of thing here...one year it was jeans in black boots, white shirt and black leather jacket....</p> <p>My opinion is that someone tries an oufit, another sees it and wants to look 'that good' and copies, FEELS great and keeps wearing it. Actually, in the end it is hopefully for all these women about FEELING great and not feeling individual. And in my opinion, we dress not for men but for other women. As it is the women who notice and check us out for our outfits and we FEEL great when we get approval. So if the current trend is a purple jacket then our eyes adjust to thinking that looks fab and everyone wearing one is then more fab and then pressure to FEEL great requires a purple jacket of your own.</p> <p>If I choose a yellow jacket I may get a smirk or dismissed and not feel great. It takes more courage to stay your own course and not join the crowd. I think in the fashion industry that pressure is higher than out here in normal life. So I think they conform more, not because their bosses expect it, but because they feel safest and best in the uniform that gets tacit approval. It has taken me alot of money trying to fit into the local uniform and alot of feeling wrong in my clothes enough to finally try to find my own style. It is not the uniform of the locals and I get Lots of looks and a smirk here and there (like yesterday, whoa baby)...but I feel fun and great and have learned to wear what I want. Only myself gets to put down and not like an outfit in the end. But I have an extra edge, coming from a different clothing culture than the people around me and having a different body type and coloring than the majority. It makes me need to find my own style or I personally look terrible and feel terrible. If I could choose to wear what everyone else wears I would do it. It is easier to buy, commonly available, and easier to copy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726133 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 03:45:53 +0000 Caro in Oz 726133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Caro, he did admit that men dress in a "uniform" but he also pointed out that most men don't spend as much energy and thought on fashion as do women." </p> <p>No they don't......did he say it like it was a good thing????????????? lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726080 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 03:09:20 +0000 annagybe 726080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is one of the main reasons I have not started a fashion blog or even a YLF blog. While many on the forum think I'm edgy and different. I feel that when it comes to fashion blogosphere I'm not actually that unique. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726075 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 03:03:38 +0000 MsMary 726075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Classically Casual, you make a great point! I usually feel pretty good about my outifts, partly because I feel like they are pretty current. But occasionally (like today in my neon and leopard) I wonder whether people who are not into fashion look and me and think that either I don't know how to dress appropriately, or I'm just plain crazy! LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726043 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 02:31:04 +0000 deb 726043@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, I have a reply to your son's comment. "Take a look at the men around here.They have been wearing the same uniform for 50 years or longer". Men's fashion for the office never changes. Why should it be any different for women? Just a thought. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726031 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 02:13:43 +0000 Makrame 726031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's funny - I thought that I have not seen the true "fashion conformity" since about 20 or 25 years ago when I used to spend a lot of time on Moscow subway trains.</p> <p>At the time, the selection of clothes in Russian stores was still fairly limited, so certain "trends" would get picked up in the most literal form - as in, everyone suddenly wearing nearly identical jackets, for example. </p> <p>Since I haven't really seen anything like that in a while, I don't usually give "uniformity" too much thought. I would also have to say that, like Claire, I don't see anyone else at work wearing boyfriend jeans (or animal print anything, not that I wear much animal print). So perhaps in part it depends on where you are, and he just happened to be in the epicenter of "fashion zone of influence". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response/page/2#post-726012 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:48:53 +0000 Classically Casual 726012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think some basic awareness of trends as well as newish clothing purchases may have some of us dressing more similarly than we would otherwise. </p> <p>I was recently on a camping trip with couples I did not know, who were basically my age. We were wearing camping gear, so I don't know their normal dress.</p> <p>The women got on the subject of Michelle Obama and how poorly she dresses. They think her colors clash, the styles are poor etc. This wasn't political, they were genuinely baffled. I ventured that this is how much of middle America dresses, i.e. from J Crew, Target, etc. They said in that case it will be a relief for her when she's not first lady anymore and can wear "nice" clothes.</p> <p>This suggested to me that there is a whole swath of perfectly well-educated people who haven't ventured into a clothing store or seriously looked at a fashion magazine in a while. But they like what they like &amp; are sticking to it!</p> <p>And again, my point is that those who follow fashion to a certain degree may be perceived as dressing similarly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-726004 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:38:26 +0000 Gaylene 726004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jonesy, I think you have it exactly right. Most of the young women who work there probably need have that "look" because they are at the mercy of the higher ups. It's not easy to rock the boat when you are in a subordinate position. Imitating the boss is probably not a bad career move. </p> <p>But still a bit funny when they all go for lunch at the same time, no? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-726000 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:34:09 +0000 Gaylene 726000@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia, that is exactly what I need to tell him! He has tried to write the odd haiku on occasion. When it comes to fashion, I am not a clone; I"M WRITING MY HAIKU-- so there! *busily tucking jeans into my boots* Love it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725999 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:32:43 +0000 Jonesy 725999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion. I wonder about the hierarchy at the mag and how it influences how employees dress, i.e., I wonder if women who are lower on the ladder are more apt to dress alike, because they need to fit in and be perceived as affiliated with the mag, vs. the women higher up (fewer of them, so maybe your son doesn't notice them as much as the "herd" of younger, striving employees) who can have a bit more freedom? The women at the top might have more autonomy to decide what to wear, and then maybe the rest imitate them to seem like "one of the gang" and to ingratiate themselves with the bosses? Maybe too, in the fashion world, to take a style risk and make a mistake (look uncool or out of it or whatever) is really punished, so it's safer to stay with the pack until you have some real power?</p> <p>I'm not saying that women dressing alike always equals being lower on the ladder or anything (not at all!), just wondering about how one's status within the fashion world might shape the style choices being made. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725997 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:30:22 +0000 Gaylene 725997@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shabby, I think that your attitude towards not needing to follow the track that everyone else is going down is what I like to think I do, but his comments made me question my own lemming tendencies. Personally, I don't always find it easy to hold to my own knowledge of what will and won't work for me. Those high heels that make my arthritic knees ache still linger in my closet. But I do so love the look when I get dressed up and I can bear the pain for an hour or two-- or so I tell myself as I limp out the house. They make me feel "stylish" for at least a few minutes. LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725987 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:21:41 +0000 Jaime 725987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agree with most everything. Your son's premise is wrong - fashion is not just about looking good, or maybe not even primarily about looking good. It is about belonging to a group, asserting both a group and individual identity as humans like to do, working within set parameters rather than completely open choice (which often stifles creativity anyway), just to name a few. Tell him it more like writing a haiku than freeform. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725983 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:16:10 +0000 Gaylene 725983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo and Angie, I totally agree with the human instinct for conformity and to be seen as part of the "tribe". That makes total sense. And he totally admits to dressing like a "J Crew" clone himself like many of his colleagues. But then, why do we, as women interested in fashion, place such an emphasis on "finding our personal style"? As you point out, maybe we are trying to fit in to a group (YLF?) and yet stand out? And how do we figure out which group is most important? Hmm, got to think on this one a bit more.</p> <p>Claire, he is very good at making me think about things that I do without much reflection. I like to jab him a bit, too, though. He was laughing when I called him a "J. Crew/APC clone".</p> <p>MaryK, I'll have to practice my trill. To be fair, I don't think he was really trying to put down the women who worked at the magazine. He just thought was peculiar that they all chose to dress so alike when their business was fashion. He made me laugh with his comment about THE MEMO that gets secretly circulated to tell them exactly what they need to wear to look stylish this month.</p> <p>Una, *laughing* When I showed him one of your pictures, his comment was "A lawyer? Wow! She is no clone!".</p> <p>Mo, it is a bit funny how we can feel that things are uniquely us even if we shamelessly copy them from another. I feel so uniquely ME in my clone of Angie's jacket, jean, and boot outfit. Am I permitted to laugh at myself? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725949 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:58:12 +0000 MsMary 725949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thinking about this some more... I can only answer for myself, of course. But today I copied a look from a fashion blog, on purpose. I tried to look as much like her as possible. And why did I do that? For fun! Simple as that! I. did. it. for. fun. Fashion is my hobby, and one of the fun parts of it is seeing the looks other women put together and seeing if I can create similar looks with the materials available to me. The point was not to "fit in." If you've seen the outfit, you will know that I stood out like the sorest of thumbs! It was just. for. fun.</p> <p>I think your son needs to get off his high horse! LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725919 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:45:54 +0000 Angie 725919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, I have to run again - sorry! I will answer your question properly later. In the meantime though, I just don't think it's wrong to conform to a look if that floats your boat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725917 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:44:43 +0000 Anonymous 725917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't dress like everyone else. In fact, I don't know anyone who has my particular style...although my friends and I do have similar tastes. I don't care if skinnies are in or out, because I will never wear them tucked, or untucked, into boots. My bags have always been big, even when it was more fashionable for them to be small. The highest heels may be en vogue and I will still gravitate to my beloved ballet flats. For me, Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn will always be muses...timeless and classy, no matter what the rest of the world is doing. I must say that a world full of Shabby's would give me pause....I love being different! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725905 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:37:22 +0000 Gaylene 725905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tina, good point about those who work in the industry having a vested interest in wearing the look that they are promoting. That does make sense.</p> <p>Caro, he did admit that men dress in a "uniform" but he also pointed out that most men don't spend as much energy and thought on fashion as do women.</p> <p>Angie, I used the "well, it's fun to try out different trends", but his point was that, if all of these women are experimenting, then how is it that the end result has so little variation?</p> <p>Cciele and JR, it's probable that most of these women are following a rubric (the memo he talks about?) that shows they are in the fashion industry, but his question was why, these, of all women, would not choose to dress in a more unique way-- like wearing a bootcut or full-legged pant instead of the universal skinnies in boots formula. Their livelihood revolves around fashion and innovation.</p> <p>Suz, I suspect that most of these women at ____ magazine do, in fact, shop at similar stores but that leads me back to my question that do they (and we) fear that they will look frumpy or unfashionable if they don't adopt whatever is shown on the current mannequin? Does being fashionable inevitably lead to cloning?</p> <p>Traci, I think you've hit on his point, exactly. If everyone is so adamant that they using fashion as a way of expressing their individuality, then why do we look like such conformists.</p> <p>Angie, just read your new comment. But now you've raised a couple of other questions in my mind:</p> <p>Is it possible for the average person to be seen as stylish if that person ignores current trends? I know that certain iconic fashionistas can do this, but what about the average MOTG who, for example, does not wear a "fashionable" style jean. Will that automatically land her into the "frumpy" category. Is it better that she not try to be unique or distinctive? Is that what you are referring to as a good thing, in her situation?</p> <p>So, maybe, it's easier for most of us to feel stylish if we just adopt whatever is currently being shown in the mainstream media. Just tuck those skinnies into your cognac boots and you don't have to worry about being frumpy? But now I have to admit to my son that I am choosing to be a clone. Yikes, that is hard pill to swallow! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725891 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:26:10 +0000 Mo 725891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm, I think it depends on what you value. Some value individuality at any cost, others community at all levels. I admit to skewing on the side of individuality. I like not seeing anyone else wearing what I am. That said, I have blatantly copied no less than 4 YLFers I can recall - Jonesy's ON linen moto, Una's blush cropped moto, Rae's convertible cargo jacket, my friend's tulip dress I saw her in over Skype, and most recently the copycat Equipment shirt.<br /> I guess it's a mire of emotions and values all brewed together lol, but despite owning the same items as some of my friends, I still feel they are uniquely me when I wear them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725883 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:21:54 +0000 Angie 725883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*applauding* Echo's comment. </p> <p>Traci, a bold look en mass in the fashion industry is the way that crowd conforms to their environmental norm. The same way most SAHM's comform to their environmental norm by not dressing up. The same crowd behaviour and norms are at play - it's just that the environments are different. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725882 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:21:47 +0000 catgirl 725882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was wondering if I should bring my BF jeans to the YLF meetup - will we all be wearing them? LEMMING TIME! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stylish-or-clones-help--i-need-a-good-response#post-725879 Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:20:33 +0000 MsMary 725879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If my son said something like that, I would laugh trillingly and say "You say we all dress the same like it's a BAD thing!"</p> <p>I just don't think this is anything that needs to be defended or rebutted. Sure, a lot of stylish women wear what appears to be a uniform. We all wear uniforms, whether it's the "super stylish" uniform, or the "I don't care about fashion" uniform. So what?</p> <p>If my son continued to give me a hard time about it, I'd say, "Sure, a lot of women who are interested in fashion wear what appears to be a uniform. They enjoy it and I have to admit, I enjoy it too from time to time. And, therefore... what?" </p>