https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 23:52:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571876 Thu, 15 Oct 2015 06:43:20 +0000 anne 1571876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to say what a fascinating thread!! Especially useful thoughts from Ginger and Abc </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571736 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 22:56:27 +0000 Jenn 1571736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, you know about my too-much-shopping-at-once freakout last month. </p> <p>I'm happy to say that coming up with a plan really does help. This month has been much, much better, and I'm finding that having&nbsp;<i>some&nbsp;</i>of my wardrobe holes filled brings me enough satisfaction that I no longer feel the pressing need to fill&nbsp;<i>all</i> of them&nbsp;<i>right now</i>. Just getting a chunk of the shopping out of the way made everything else feel less urgent.</p> <p>I suggest making your list, prioritizing things to look for, and then taking a deep breath. You're probably not going to find everything, and that's OKAY. Get what you can, and it will be enough. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571694 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 22:24:05 +0000 Aida 1571694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It really feels so tough when our needs list is so large isn't it! I have been in the same place for a good while now, and actually spent a full season in decision paralysis because it felt too overwhelming. My advice is, since you do have functioning pieces in many areas, try to relax and think of this as an <i>upgrade</i> unless the piece is a true wardrobe hole. That has helped me tremendously!</p> <p>It's also good to divide your shopping list up. I have mine divided into: </p> <ol> <li>basics</li> <li>holes</li> <li>upgrades</li> <li>key trends/refreshers</li> <li>other trends I want</li> <li>interesting fringe trends</li> <li>annual wants (e.g. silk blouses, cashmere sweaters, etc.)</li> </ol> <p>1-4 are the highest priority and where I spend most of my energy, time, and budget acquiring. 5 is usually where any extra budget goes. And 6/7 are things that I allow to happen organically. </p> <p>I didn't include my own personal essentials as a category in my list, those will go under upgrades.</p> <p>EDIT: I also do what Ginger suggested: <i>And if The Item simply isn't to be found, I try to shift to an alternative style that may not be perfect, but will be enjoyable, fill a hole, and not be a duplicate whenever The One I Want finally does appear. <br /></i></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571633 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 21:26:38 +0000 unfrumped 1571633@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hear you on the problem of making a rare big trip and then having too-big expectations. That has happened to me when in " the big city" for a rare shopping trip or sometimes on a work trip and so feel like, it's now or never. That can lead to overbuying for sure and feelings of "missed&nbsp; opportunity". It's not too risky when the retailers are national and can be returned locally or with free returns or worst-case scenario a postage fee, but international&nbsp;shopping or odd boutique return policies can mess things up. <br />I think having your list and even making the list broad enough but prioritized--these are the top 3-4 things but if you're coming up empty you have some alternative items or capsules you'd shift to rather than buying something that's not good enough in the other category. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571604 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 20:34:29 +0000 Anonymous 1571604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>re: "</p> <p>I am freaking out bc they're my most used flat and I have no replacement. I also am moving away from totally flat shoes to small heels but with comfort."</p> <p>I'm in the exact same boat, looking in the same direction: very attached to my trusty black flats, but am looking for Ferragamo Vara's (on eBay) with a small block heel. If you're sort of set in your ways about something, as I am to almond/round toed flats, I think it's ok to spend money on them. That's what I tell myself, anyway :-)</p> <p>I think you'll look great with a bit of structure on top. I see you in straight line blazers over some of your tighter fitting tops and your long necklace.</p> <p>re: I NEED SO MANY THINGS</p> <p>yes, again, I'm in the same boat. How did I get on this boat of needing so much stuff? Well part of it has to do with buying in big chunks. This is what bloggers suggest you do, but I'm starting to doubt them now because everything seems to wear out or go stale at the same time. I've recently starting buying every month, and it feels better, and more natural. I know that this might not be an option for you.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571576 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 18:52:02 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1571576@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hear ya about the shopping less/SYC thing - when you wait to shop, then things wear out and you need a replacement tout suite! Plus you've got your location challenges too. I think you've gotten good advice about prioritizing. Plus not everything has to be perfect or work out ideally - a few missteps are to be expected. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571570 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 18:41:45 +0000 rachylou 1571570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shopping pace is tough. I've taken to buying some things in advance for when things wear out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571567 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 18:38:58 +0000 jenanded 1571567@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember reading once that our desire for new clothes is our ongoing reconstruction of who we are and I kind of like that... or maybe its a juicy rationalisation! And then I think of a friend who bought her wardrobe in the 80s and 90s and has barely updated anything since. I think its healthy to want to keep evolving... for most of us the funny side is our time and money need to keep up with our style evolution lol! With your categories in place it sounds like you are in a good place. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571549 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 17:30:27 +0000 Stephanie 1571549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, I can totally relate! And Ginger, your excellent advice really resonated with me also :)</p> <p>I'm at a place where I want to shop smart and less over time, but realize it is going to be a process to get there. I'm going to have to experiment a lot, return a lot, and maybe spend a little more for better quality on basic items. I have a big shopping list too and it's kind of overwhelming thinking of going through it, especially after my shopping budget has been basically non existent for the past year while I paid off my debt. </p> <p>The key for me has been remembering to have FUN with it. Shopping and honing in on your style preferences should be fun and not restrictive or frustrating. For awhile I was really into worksheets and color palettes and even capsule wardrobes for a period of time, but the problem is that all of that got too restrictive for me. I'm still experimenting and have some days where I am super frustrated by the fact I can't find what I'm looking for to fill a wardrobe hole, or have to return entire orders, but there are also those shopping win days where I finally find an item I've been looking for that has a big impact on my wardrobe right away.</p> <p>I also want to mention prioritizing - what others have said is spot on! Get yourself excited about the basics and prioritize the top items that are going to have a big impact on your style and new direction right NOW. For me that's a new pair of skinnies, red flats (just purchased and love), a striped tee, new dress for work/weekend and an olive top. These are all items that may not get me as excited as a new jacket or printed top, but I know each and every item will be a workhorse right away. </p> <p>Have fun, take some of the pressure off yourself and allow yourself to shop. No worries if you don't find what you need or want right away, it is a process. I'm right there with you so I can definitely sympathize! We can do it </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571532 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 16:26:41 +0000 Ginger 1571532@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww, abc! I'm so glad if anything I said was helpful. I totally understand the limited budget, too! It would help a lot if you can get excited about the needs; that may help satisfy the craving for fun new stuff. Don't forget about shopping at all retail levels. I feel funny sometimes showing WIW's with everything from Kohl's, Charming Charlie, and JCPenney; but you know, I'm perfectly happy with them as long as I'm not comparing to other people. My dollars go a lot further when I shop there, and I very rarely have to complain about quality. I'm more likely to wear them out - which is totally acceptable for the price point, and being able to indulge in trends.</p> <p>You can do it! Let yourself have fun with it; it's not a burden! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571530 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 16:06:45 +0000 abc 1571530@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger, what wise words you speak. &nbsp;You've described much of my angst and process to this point. &nbsp;I had a huge list and got overwhelmed, then once I started putting priorities to items, I realized what I really needed vs just want. &nbsp;Problem is, I am craving some new things but not sure the budget can handle it all at once. &nbsp;We'll see. &nbsp;Thanks for your words, it's so nice to know someone else is going through something similar. &nbsp;I will take some of your suggestions to heart (replacements vs workable substitute, etc). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571515 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:34:17 +0000 Ginger 1571515@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Carole got it right - a style rut! Partially brought on, perhaps, by being so careful to SYC. It does have a lot of benefits, as you found out, but a really close adherence has definite drawbacks. Sudden wardrobe holes as things wear out, or a real desire to change things up. Maybe it happens when the goal becomes Not Shopping, more than the creative challenge of playing in a happy wardrobe. At some point the happy wardrobe becomes a breaking-down or boring wardrobe.</p> <p>I'm really experiencing much of the same thing, although I'm not coming from a position of strength as you are. For the first time I'm trying to really define my style and build a cohesive wardrobe. And wow, I'm finding a lot of holes! It's also somewhat discouraging to check one thing off, only to identify another hole.</p> <p>It's definitely tricky to pile a style change on top of wardrobe holes! Because you really want time to think and experiment with new styles (wedges, say), but you also have critical needs (replacement for silver flats). For me, an impatient perfectionist, the tendency is to buy a lot, usually at steadily-increasing price points, until I finally get the item I wanted all along. It's wasteful of money, and the first buy(s) end up orphans once I reach The Item. Instead, I'm training myself to being willing to wait, and to take time, do lots of searching and purchases, and being willing to return. And if The Item simply isn't to be found, I try to shift to an alternative style that may not be perfect, but will be enjoyable, fill a hole, and not be a duplicate whenever The One I Want finally does appear.&nbsp; I don't know if that approach will work for you, but it's a discipline I'm trying to develop. Maybe if you can't find silver shoes at all, think of an alternative neutral style that will partially fill the hole and give you breathing room. Like, I don't know... delicate cognac oxfords, or streamlined clogs in gray.</p> <p>I think that having a goal (your trip) may help your focus a lot. On another YLF discussion, there was talk of maintaining categorized shopping lists: like sections for holes, HEWIs, and wants.&nbsp; For me, as I'm forced to put things into categories, I can clarify my own thinking and get the emotional WANT out of the way. Yes, I really WANT this item, but I can do just fine with these other items I already have. This other thing isn't exciting, but it really is a need that is totally worn out and has no substitute. I've got to allocate my time and money to it first. That may help you prioritize your shopping, but also clarify your thinking as you keep your eyes out in the store. Good luck, and have fun! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571513 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:32:35 +0000 abc 1571513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey Manny! &nbsp;Thanks for your input. &nbsp;I think I am MUCH wiser now in terms of knowing what I want. &nbsp;Or at least what I wanna try &nbsp;Before I was just lusting after every pretty thing I saw in the mall or on YLF regardless of if it suited me or my lifestyle. &nbsp;At least now after slowing down on shopping I am asking questions beforehand AND thinking before I buy. &nbsp;I just feel like I have a lot of items on my list now </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571512 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:30:58 +0000 Maneera 1571512@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know I did this over the summer. I realised the need to perfect my own Casual Style that was comfortable yet polished, and I did achieve it. The key is to experiment - a lot. I tried on a lot of clothes and I noted what made me like some styles more than others. </p> <p>I made notes like you have - some drape, some structure, no slouch, more prints, ruching where possible, shorter length skirts and dresses, knit fabrics, pretty sandals so on and so forth. Everytime I went shopping, I looked for these things. And when I came home with new finds, I retired old clothes that weren't perfect. </p> <p>It's a process. It takes time. You have to know your goals, and sometimes you'll falter even when you know them. But hang in there.....because you're headed in the right direction! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571501 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:06:28 +0000 abc 1571501@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>CocoC, I have seen a couple of your recent posts but haven't taken time to comment. &nbsp;I see you're going through a shift, too. &nbsp;I think you are way too hard on yourself! &nbsp;Take it easy, the process takes time. &nbsp;I've been at this for a few years now and STILL find myself making mistakes (though less) and feeling the craving for more change. &nbsp;Good luck and I will be following your journey, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571499 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:03:52 +0000 Cococat 1571499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with you abc! Good luck and I'll be watching on the sidelines while I go through my own (so far painful) style change. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571497 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:02:30 +0000 abc 1571497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Carole. &nbsp;I appreciate you reading and commenting. &nbsp;I'm hoping some refreshers will help me be at peace with my wardrobe again. &nbsp;I just hate that it's come to an urgent matter re the shoe situation. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571490 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 14:52:41 +0000 Carole 1571490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This sounds familiar...as if you have been in somewhat of a style rut and need to switch things up. I've found myself looking at patterned tops lately because I have NO pattern at all..and I'm loving a flare and bootcut rather than skinnies 24/7. You will find, hopefully, that the switch to boots will make your feet happy. I have terribly fussy feet and find boots the most comfortable for me these days, just got rid of my last pair of ballet flats! Looking forward to seeing where this takes you;) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-shift-destination-unknown#post-1571486 Wed, 14 Oct 2015 14:40:48 +0000 abc 1571486@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bear with me, this is just free form thinking out loud here.</p> <p>I feel a style shift going on.</p> <p>I used to wear lots of print tops. &nbsp;Now I reach for solids. &nbsp;I think bc I've finally caught on to buying solid color tops with a more luxe fabric or detail that can help it stand alone and not be plain. &nbsp;I'm experimenting with fluid fits (now that they're on the way out, hee hee) and semi-tucking.</p> <p>I'm wanting some wider leg jeans - I live in leggings and skinny jeans. &nbsp;They're comfy and casual, but I'm wanting some more variety. &nbsp;On my next shopping trip I want to try bootcuts, flares and trouser jeans if I can find them. &nbsp;Hoping to bring a pair or two home with me.</p> <p>Which brings me to footwear (per Angie's post this week re jeans and footwear refreshes). &nbsp;I haven't bought shoes in a while. I distinctly remember thinking a while back - oh, I can focus on clothes bc my shoes are in good shape. &nbsp;Well, guess what - now, my shoes are in horrible shape. I literally wore out a pair of silver flats. &nbsp;I can't tell you the last time I actually wore out anything, this is a first in a loooong time. &nbsp;On one hand it feels good from a consumerism perspective, but now I am freaking out bc they're my most used flat and I have no replacement. &nbsp;I also am moving away from totally flat shoes to small heels but with comfort. &nbsp;I'm searching for some boots that fit this bill and will really bring cohesion to my fall/winter outfits. &nbsp;I hope to replace the silver flats with peep toe wedges instead, or at least pointy toe flats rather than the round ones I've had for years.</p> <p>Which brings me to the whole SYC / shop less mantra. &nbsp;I've cut down on my shopping in the last year for various reasons. &nbsp;Pros: less wasteful spending, less orphans, making me think before buying, overall advancement on the self-awareness curve regarding fashion/buying/spending/choices. &nbsp;Cons: now that I finally have a trip to the USA scheduled, I'm freaking out bc I need SO MANY THINGS. &nbsp;Some are needs, some are wants, I will admit. &nbsp;But by not shopping much, it's like I am bulking up when I do have the chance. &nbsp;Part of this is brought on by me simply not having time to shop locally. &nbsp;I'm taking a methodical approach to my list and prioritizing bc I know I can't get it all in this one trip. &nbsp;When I went once a month it was shopping madness every time in a bad way, but now that it's been 6 months or more, it's also becoming more to manage in one big trip.</p> <p>I also have found myself moving toward more structure. &nbsp;I have some tops with dropped shoulders and I wore them because they were comfortable, but they do nothing for my L/XL size body and sloping shoulders. &nbsp;I'm shocked that I'm finding myself reaching for button down tops with collars. &nbsp;I used to avoid them like the plague but now that I think I've finally figured out the fabric has a lot to do with it, I am craving more shirts with structure. &nbsp;They don't have to be fitted but I do like the structure on the shoulder most of all (see my recent BR tunic as example).</p> <p>Anyway, my list is long, I may post again to get input on some of my ideas/thoughts for fall items.</p> <p>Sorry for the rambling...thank you for listening about my style shift. &nbsp;It's funny bc I thought I was in an ok place, but I think I still have quite a bit of work to do. &nbsp;I'm still making mistakes but less often, and I guess that's the point.</p> <p>If anyone has similar experiences or can express better what I'm trying to say, please go ahead! &nbsp;Share your stories so I don't feel so alone </p>