https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 02:12:51 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut/page/2#post-2146136 Mon, 28 Sep 2020 12:27:42 +0000 Anonymous 2146136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing that it sounds like a life rut rather than a style rut. Think about what you want the next phase of life to look like, and then the clothes will follow! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut/page/2#post-2146075 Sun, 27 Sep 2020 15:35:16 +0000 Barbara Diane 2146075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anchie, you mentioned being drawn to the most outrageous items in the window at Zara. But your practical side shot them down. Maybe time to try them on. Even if it ends up being just a laugh. Or maybe you incorporate one/some of the items into your style. Or some particular aspect of them. Color, print, shape, sleeve, detail. Why were you initially drawn to them?</p> <p>And everything everyone else said. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut/page/2#post-2145961 Sat, 26 Sep 2020 05:13:53 +0000 Bijou 2145961@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anchie - I have felt in a life and style rut previously. You need to change things up. Travel and new activities are how I tend to refresh myself. For me, I would look at learning a new skill. When I want to change up my appearance - I start with the hair. You have beautiful hair - however - it always grows back, so if you want to dye it, cut it - why not?? I love how both LisaP and Janet are sophisticated and edgy - you could reconnect with your former Rock Chic persona, but in a new and interesting way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut/page/2#post-2145955 Sat, 26 Sep 2020 03:56:45 +0000 Jenni NZ 2145955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate Anchie. Several things said by other Fabbers seem relevant.<br /> 1. Same job- I get this issue since I have owned my same medical practice since 1991 and sometimes feel *so* incredibly stable and boring. I have managed it since 2004 by being part-time there but adding smaller side jobs ( before 2004 the side job was only the kids). This year I resigned the 5.5-year-old current side job due to the stress of Covid. I guess as you are full-time a side job is not an option.<br /> 2. A bit depressed and low mood. Partly why I resigned, which has helped. Self-care and knowing limits is good for me.<br /> 3. Hair. I have chosen not to dye mine. It can be a bit limiting. And harder to get haircuts this year! No suggestions just sympathy xx<br /> 4. I slightly wonder if your software engineer love of spreadsheets is not working in your favour just now? I remember being surprised before when you felt you had to replace all of the too-big items in a certain way? Which you found stressful. This is in a previous post. Then you thought maybe you could manage with less...<br /> 5. Mourning past personas and other’s emphasis on them. Just part of time passing and part of ageing, but not easy. I have struggled with my loss of youth and of the unconscious beauty I used to have, but am getting slowly better at coping with it. Just as well since I am nearly 60!<br /> 6. Gradual change in parenting role is a big one. Cannot influence their choices and opinions as much.<br /> With all that it is no wonder you are struggling a bit so I just hoped to encourage you to hang on in there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145728 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 20:38:20 +0000 Sal 2145728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have had great advice Anchie - I don’t have anything more to add but a virtual hug. I don’t like to wish time away but I won’t be sad at the end of 2020!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145715 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 19:22:02 +0000 nemosmom 2145715@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lack of "me" time can certainly throw a wrench in things! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145672 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 15:41:30 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2145672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, what great insights. </p> <p>My son’s commute to school is about 45 minutes, and the trains are quite full. I just got him masks with filters (FPP2) at the pharmacy. One that can’t be washed cost €4.95. Because he only wears it in the train, he will use it for a week. It took a bit of discussing, but they ordered another one that can be washed. It cost €16, and a 3-pack of replacement filters was €10. Those seem like small prices for keeping him safe. I would say the same about your morning routine—a filtered mask would be worth it if you can get back to that time to yourself. </p> <p>I’m scratching my head a bit about the lack of “extras”. It sort of reminds me of my recent dilemma of not having scrubby old clothes to wear when doing grubby work. That isn’t the sort of thing I packed for an overseas move, and I haven’t worn anything out sufficiently yet. (Some opinions about that may vary, I know, lol). I know your daughter sometimes raids your closet; does hers have hidden treasures that could take the place usually occupied by old favorites for you? Or can you pull a Synne and raid your husband’s closet? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145669 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 15:24:39 +0000 anchie 2145669@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of food for thought and some great ideas.<br /> There are two additional factors that I just realized that could be also affecting how I feel.<br /> First is that my wardrobe is currently on the lean side - anything that is older than a year is way too big. So there are no hidden treasures or old favorites to play with.<br /> Second is that my morning getting ready routine has changed drastically. Before pandemic my husband would take our daughter to school with the car and I would take public transport. I would start getting ready for the day after they leave enjoying peace and quiet, drinking my morning coffee and having some cherished me time. But now I don’t want to take public transport and we leave in the morning all together. So instead of having relaxing ritual I now have stressful rush. Most days I forgo makeup, accessories, hair styling and bag change just because I run out of time </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145656 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 14:12:30 +0000 Star (Lise) 2145656@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Me again.&nbsp; I was wondering about your allergies that prevent you from dyeing your hair.&nbsp; I was getting a burning scalp from dyes and I change to ammonia-free dye.&nbsp; I actually prefer it as it washes out slowly instead of growing out and gives a gradient look which is really nice in the warmer months, so I just touch up roots only the whole summer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145647 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 13:18:30 +0000 Christina F. 2145647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you have ton of good advice above--I can't add to it. But I will say it's so hard right now, and I think its totally normal to feel as you do. Clothes are usually an area where we can exert control over things, so it's natural to want a change when so many other things feel the same, all the time, right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145646 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 12:58:44 +0000 RobinF 2145646@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have already received some really great advice - I may steal it! I go through the same thing once in a while and right now some of the pleasures like travel and social activities are not possible so it's harder to snap out of it. Sometimes for me it's just because it is the end of a season and I'm tired of the clothes I have been wearing for 3 or 4 months. It's true as our roles change it can sometimes be hard to know how to adjust and still feel authentic. </p> <p>I love the idea of a new creative outlet, maybe remodel a room or take up a new hobby? Sounds simple but sometimes simple is what works.</p> <p>I'm off now to check out the "out of a rut" post. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145635 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 11:22:36 +0000 Synne 2145635@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo what FI is saying. To me you have ARRIVED with your style, no need to fix what isn't broken. Maybe the change you are craving can come from somewhere else? New workout routine, new music, new food challenges, voulenteering, and other things already mentioned. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145631 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 10:54:21 +0000 Star (Lise) 2145631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My style always skewed Rock Chic and/or a bit quirky in my teens and 20's, that is my music of preference too.&nbsp; In my 40's I realised my style was all over the place and I did not feel authentic.&nbsp; My work clothes never felt like me.&nbsp; I started returning to my rock roots but only in small doses.&nbsp; I call it Classic with an Edge.&nbsp; It works for me.&nbsp; The edge is in he details and accessories mostly.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145616 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 06:35:48 +0000 Jane 2145616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can sympathise with how you feel. These are tough times. </p> <p>I would be as kind and as accepting as you can to yourself, move slowly and gently until you can feel your way through this will phase. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145602 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 03:11:16 +0000 rachylou 2145602@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FI’s point strikes me as salient. There are various points in life when it’s time to take a more conscious look at who one is now, what one does these days, and give the ol’ wardrobe a nudge. I, at least, always lag in true awareness after things change. I know I’ve moved or gotten a new job and yet I don’t. Or that I’ve gotten a dog, for a light hearted example. It took wearing a couple of shoes into the ground on a single dog walk and then a few more weeks of walking around in a suit and some random sneakers late at night to make me think ‘hmmm.’ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145599 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 02:45:02 +0000 Jaime 2145599@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You articulated so well the restless and frustrating feeling of being uninspired while craving inspiration. I understand very well the disconnect between your self-image - which comprises all the stages of your life - and the feedback from those around you that see only part of you. The suggestion to tweak small things is a good one, and I will join you at Angie's style rut post. It has been a very challenging year indeed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145585 Thu, 24 Sep 2020 01:23:31 +0000 Anonymous 2145585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is there a color or accessory or silhouette you have mostly ignored in the past that you could play with now? In the past I wore lots of brown, then got rid of that color. Now I am trying to find my best shade of brown. It is more difficult having silver/grey hair, but my eyes are brown. It is a challenge. I wear earrings every day for the fun of it, and often bracelets as they do not get in the way of a face mask and will be harder to wear with coat and jacket sleeves later into fall.<br /> It may be fun to rearrange your closet or storage, your furniture or get a new rug. Get new placemats and napkins for fall or to have for the holidays. Good luck. We have all been there, especially lately. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145541 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:41:04 +0000 anchie 2145541@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fashintern - omg - you are so right! Yes, I have been raising small kids for more than 2 decades and my role is changing now. I may be lost at the moment and haven’t established any new roles yet.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145539 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:33:32 +0000 anchie 2145539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Phoebe - there could be something in it - comments like my husband and my friend make do make me wonder if my former me was better in some way and if I am in the right path. I am usually not very sentimental and don’t like looking back - it is what it is, we cannot change the past and we can only go forward.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145536 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:22:42 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2145536@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ps: I think we were writing at the same time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145535 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:21:48 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2145535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I hear you that the life changes you've made in the past aren't options now, but I'm sure you can find other ways to shake things up in your life. Especially now that your daughter is old enough that your job as parent is largely an advisory one. That's very different than it's been in over two decades, since your son was born! So you don't have an "empty nest" quite yet, but things are indeed changing. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Style wise, you've gotten some good ideas here. I think different footwear will make a lot of difference to you, and maybe a couple of pieces (not a huge haul) that are different cuts from what you have now, so you can throw them together with pieces you have and change the whole formula. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But it sounds to me like you want to change your routine in some other way. I've been saying forever that I want to learn French or Arabic or play the recorder. You're at a point in your life that you can add in that sort of thing, or maybe volunteer somewhere. If I were to start with the recorder, I'd probably step up the Baroque elements of my style. Who knows how your style might change if you add something new to your weeks?<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145534 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:21:39 +0000 anchie 2145534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie - yes, this year was particularly bad, with pandemic, my back pain and family members health issues causing lot of stress. Those 5 point are all good ideas that will hopefully make me feel less repetitive. I have paused my wardrobe rebuilding because I am unsure and uninspired. I don’t want to buy more of the same, but not sure also what else.<br />Cardiff girl - it is great idea to revisit some old interests and hobbies, I definitely have more time now, because I have lot less social obligations. Living in an ideal world- funny but that is often a theme of conversation between me and my DD during our daily walks.&nbsp;<br />nemosmom - I think you found what I am missing - a creative outlet. And also some of those challenges can give me a push, great idea. Have to think about it.&nbsp;<br />torontogirl - I must admit that looking at your recent posts &nbsp;gave me food for thought and prompted some of my questions. Even though your outfits are relatively simple, I noticed your hair, makeup, and little details that make all the difference and that I was missing or ignoring.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145529 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 20:05:01 +0000 Anonymous 2145529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It can be hard enough to figure out the components that will express the ever evolving self that you are right now without having people you love unintentionally try to drag you back to yester-year.&nbsp;</p> <p>They love you, they love to look at you but wanting to see you dressed as you were might be at least a little because it makes them feel as though they are still back in that time that they may think was better somehow?</p> <p>It's really sweet that they have such lovely memories of you as you were, and precious for you but I think you might be letting this type of input keep you stuck.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145527 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 19:51:50 +0000 anchie 2145527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, guys, I have been reading your responses many times over, feeling better knowing that you understand how I feel and being in similar situations yourself.&nbsp;<br />@unfrumped - exploring different silhouette is something I was thinking about but not yet sure which way to go.&nbsp;<br />@Minaminu - you are right, I should not be shopping for new clothes while I am feeling so uncertain and undecided. Playing with what I have is better solution for now.&nbsp;<br />@lisap - yes, life is especially tedious and repetitive at the moment with not many things to look forward to. I would go through this periodically my whole life, and then I would break a relationship, quit a job, move to different city or continent, have a baby, renovate apartment or at least change a hair color. But now none of it is an option:)<br />@Janet - concentrating on wardrobe is for me probably just a distraction from deeper issues, but at least is something I have some control over. You are right that you see mostly my workwear which is not really my authentic style but drven more by external factors. I was recently window shopping at Zara looking for cheap pick me up and was drawn to the most outrageous things, but then my practical side prevailed :)&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145517 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 19:07:17 +0000 Helena 2145517@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anchie, you've got loads of great suggestions here. The only practical one I can think to add is to revisit your foundations -, whatever those are for you (for me when I get that rut feeling, it's about taking the time to style my hair (or get it cut/coloured if needed), do my nails, wear makeup even if I'm not going out ... and other self-care matters like exercise, drinking water, etc.)</p> <p>I also think if there was ever a time to give yourself massive amounts of grace, it is most certainly now! The world is completely bonkers. You are allowed to be in a slump; we're all wading through mud to some extent at the moment. If we didn't feel a little off kilter, it would be weird. Be gentle with yourself. You are sensational! Sending huge hugs! xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145516 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 18:59:02 +0000 nemosmom 2145516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>I totally get where you are coming from, Anchie.&nbsp; When you are so accustomed to constantly changing - whether it's hair color or location, it feels stifling to have everything be the same all the time.&nbsp; The pandemic only amplifies the sameness.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was nodding along with everything said above - maybe another creative outlet would help?&nbsp; Collecting Finds of fantasy purchases, or creating a mood board of looks that interest you might help.&nbsp; </p> <p>Are there any pieces of your former style self that you would want to bring back into your day-to-day looks?&nbsp; Maybe you can add back some rocker chic - if you miss her.&nbsp; You may have grown and changed, but you are still the sum of all those parts, no? :D</p> <p>Maybe try a 10x10, pay-it-forward, or similar outfit creation challenges would help you.&nbsp; I would give those a try before you throw it all out and try to start over. </p> </div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145510 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 18:39:10 +0000 Cardiff girl 2145510@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Totally get how you are feeling and reiterate all that has been said above.Just a suggestion but why don’t you move the focus away from your appearance and brainstorm how you would like to live in an ideal world.l realise that a lot of what you come up with may not be possible but you might start to see themes appearing in which case can you think of an achievable way to fulfill that aim.<br />For example you mentioned being a rock chick when you met your husband.Was that just your appearance or was it what you did/were interested in at that time?Are those things that you are still interested in and would like to do now I.e.like learning to play the guitar<br />l think that once you are living your most authentic life you will find that your style will follow.<br />Of course this may not be the case at all for you and it might just be a style rut plain and simple.ln which case ignore me and do what Angie said! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145506 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 18:22:53 +0000 Angie 2145506@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Anchie,</b> as others have said, these feelings are common. We have all felt them at some point. The pandemic year is particularly stressful, which compounds these types of feelings. You are still recovering from debilitating back pain, and rebuilding your wardrobe after weight loss. Lots going on. Very understandable.&nbsp;</p> <p>Hang in there! Try to be patient. It will pass....</p> <p>Practically speaking. Here are 5 quick-fixes to break up the daily work outfit repetition:</p> <p><u>CHANGE UP:&nbsp;</u> </p> <ul> <li>sneakers with other sneakers (I do that daily)</li> <li>bags with other bags (I do that daily - guitar straps too!)</li> <li>hair with a new style</li> <li>apply make-up</li> <li>outfit creation energy! Pull together new looks with what you have.</li> </ul> <p>Then go to my style rut post and do your homework properly. Soul search. Take your time.&nbsp;</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/2015/12/07/how-to-break-out-of-a-style-rut/">https://youlookfab.com/2015/12.....style-rut/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145498 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 17:33:44 +0000 Janet 2145498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, I also want to comment that your very first sentence is important. I rarely feel like my style is on point when I am feeling emotionally stressed or down. </p> <p>Perhaps focusing on something completely different from wardrobe may help lift your spirits and give you a new perspective. Something creative or active perhaps? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-rut#post-2145497 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 17:30:50 +0000 Janet 2145497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand feeling like your style has become one-note — I’ve had that feeling in the past, and I’ve had other times when I feel a little too “all over the place.” </p> <p>How about combing through some resources (Pinterest, magazines, fashion blogs) to see if anything appeals to you. Save some images in an inspiration file on your computer or phone to see if there is a spark of something that you feel you want to channel. Some combination of pieces or styles, a different silhouette, even a change in how you part or style your hair? </p> <p>From where we sit here at YLF, your style seems quite classic because we mainly see your workwear, and I notice that you’ve recently incorporated a lot of the same colors and pieces that work so well for Angie, perhaps because your recent weight loss means you have a shape more like hers, and also because she always looks so great! </p> <p>But it sounds like you’re grappling a bit with what feels authentically you, while also fielding helpful (or maybe not so helpful) advice from people who mean well but may not really understand where you are now. </p> <p>How about a little virtual window shopping? Don’t worry about being practical, just see what appeals to you, and take time to identify why. Is it a color you’d like to try, a style you find unusual or appealing, a combination of items you wouldn’t normally wear but admire? See what cues you can take from that. The point is to have fun, take it lightly, and explore. </p> <p>Does that make sense? </p>