https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 22 May 2026 20:12:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-764033 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 19:02:41 +0000 bj1111 764033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Ruth, hillary is looking the best she has in YEARS! she has really grown into her own look. she is comfortable with herself and her power. </p> <p><a href="http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/07/19/unconfirmed/" rel="nofollow">http://www.addictinginfo.org/2.....confirmed/</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/16/hillary-clinton-drinking-colombia_n_1427821.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....27821.html</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/hillary-clinton-no-makeup_n_1500423.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....00423.html</a></p> <p>and of course...</p> <p><a href="http://textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com/" rel="nofollow">http://textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-764027 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:52:56 +0000 Mo 764027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny, funny I did not grow up with my mom and so I have none of those associations. But at 5 and 6 I was already wearing 2 or 3 outfits a day. My dad was constantly telling me not to toss stuff in the hamper just because I had it on for a few hours! In a house of boys, with no feminine influence, it was just *in* me to love clothes. Then my step mom moved in, and she never wore a dress or makeup besides her wedding day so things didn't really change lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-764017 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:47:06 +0000 shiny 764017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RachyLou, some of my earliest childhood memories are of playing on my mom's bed while she obsessed endlessly about what to wear, trying on outfit after outfit, discarding each one by one in a pile, frustrated that nothing seemed to work. Or of going clothes shopping with her, with similar memories of sensing her own emotional anxiety/frustration. Then when I got older, we'd have a lot of fun because mom was always ready and willing to go clothes shopping with me. Lots of mother/daughter bonding time done in the dressing room and at the mall!</p> <p>I see my own self repeating the same script. Never happy with what I see in the mirror. Frustrated at the way things never quite fit right (although when petite options finally arrived in the late 80s, things did improve). But I've tried very hard not to allow my own negative self-talk to rub off on my own girls, since I know what happens with that. </p> <p>This is why I love YLF: it's helped me deal with this. It's like therapy. I have become much less frustrated, more self confident, more self accepting and forgiving. BUT, there's still always going to be a part of me that looks in that mirror and doesn't see what I want to see.</p> <p>So perhaps my mom has found her own peace, through "giving up." I'm taking a different tactic, and have gone full confrontation instead. I'm not giving up; I'm finding solutions -- and new perspectives. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-764003 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:32:56 +0000 Gaylene 764003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I get what you are saying, Rachylou, with connection between style and power. It's an interesting conundrum; I want to be stylish, but not too stylish; I'd like to noticed, but not noticeable; I like a compliment, but not compliments.</p> <p>I suppose that I've always had an innate suspicion of women who leverage their attractiveness as way of achieving their goals in careers as well as life. And clothes definitely play a big part in this game. At the same time, I know that I use a carefully constructed image quite often to help me accomplish a task or achieve a certain outcome. And, again, my clothing comes into play. So, am I being hypocritical when I look critically at a young instructor who wears body-conscious clothing that has all the young males in her class drooling and giving her a "hot" rating on her evaluations? Traffic definitely stops when she enters a classroom or a meeting.</p> <p>I think that having a "traffic stopping" style (body con or otherwise) is a choice that a woman might choose because it gives her a very real source of power in our society. But do we go too far as a society when even very young children worry about style and image? As adult women, do we spend too much time and money obsessing about clothing and self-improvement? Is it important to be "visible" and express our individuality, or is there a time and place for being modest and unassuming--for flying under the radar, so to speak? I wish I could answer some of these questions, but, honestly, I really don't know.</p> <p>Thanks for a very thought-provoking thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763988 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:22:59 +0000 cciele 763988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting observations on this thread! Love the comments about authenticity.</p> <p>With the way I dress, oftentimes I stand out -- but I don't dress like that to turn heads; I dress like that to be authentic to my personality and style. Sometimes I would prefer not to attract attention (hello douchebags in bars) but then I wouldn't feel authentic -- therein lies a bit of a conundrum :)</p> <p>P.S. And yay, Sona! You go girl! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763979 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:14:33 +0000 rachylou 763979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Michelle - That makes sense. I can see that stylishness can liberate, unleash us to exercise our talents.</p> <p>@shiny - *Wannabe*! Haha! Fashion Goddess Shiny! Archetype! Icon! But that's fascinating about your mom. She must have retired? I'm thinking she doesn't want people bringing it all to her to do; she's enjoying free time. Lol. There you go. I'm like, I'll have to remember Shiny's mom's uniform... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763977 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:13:15 +0000 Mo 763977@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, maybe this is why I am so averse to conservative looks. I am not a conservative person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763973 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:10:38 +0000 Sona 763973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like Michelle I am on the other end of the spectrum. This was a deliberate choice. Working on being stylish, curating a wardrobe, experimenting with figure flattery,<br /> taking care of my skin, heath and body helped me turn around a severe depression and still remain mainstays of maintaining my mood. My style and wardobe upkeep is also my emotional upkeep.</p> <p>I also come from fabulous lineage: My Mom has taken excellent care of herself and looks ravishing and is very stylish at age 67. I grew up being rotund and plump but then slimmed down as a teenager.The comparisons till today between my Mom and me have me falling short but not by much anymore since I discovered and became an ardent student of YLF.</p> <p>Thence came marriage and baby.Being able to rid myself of post baby weight and sloppiness of dress and style that had steeped in, unknowingly; have given me a major boost in self confidence.</p> <p>As someone who once told her husband in the throes of a deep depression that he should have an affair with someone else because his wife ( I) was dowdy and overweight... I am proud of every look I can turn out NOW that is cultivated to be stylish. (FWIW: MR Sona is the true 'gold' : he found me the World's best psychiatrist when he heard those words)</p> <p>The only head I plan to turn on a daily basis is my own ( happy smiles in the mirror) but if along the way I turn other heads so be it.</p> <p>As far as authenticity: I am 100% Sona and I would rather be looked over than overlooked in most situations. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763971 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:09:56 +0000 Anonymous 763971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@shiny: I wonder if that's the reason Hillary Clinton has stopped wearing makeup and such? Have you seen her lately? She's not making much of an effort these days. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763949 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:53:12 +0000 shiny 763949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In my deepest secret heart, I want to stop traffic and turn heads. I cannot give you an example of a celebrity or style icon that I wish I looked like, as I'd like to be authentic and unique. I just want to be an icon. I think it would be great fun.</p> <p>But, I know it'll never happen. There's always something slightly 'off' with my outfits or my hair or whatever. Sometimes I blame my figure. Often I blame my lack of height. Sometimes I blame my budget/wallet. Mostly, I think it's just my instincts and my taste! </p> <p>Just call me the wannabe... that will never be.</p> <p>As for the whole "blending in" thing, that reminds me of my mother. She loved clothes and fashion all her life (you should see the size of her closet), until around age 60. Then she settled into a uniform: white sweatshirt, white polo, certain brand of jeans, white comfortable sneakers. This is pretty much ALL she wears, except on occasions she's required to dress up. She says she loves it because she totally blends in. She told me that when you reach "a certain age" you become invisible, and at first this distressed her, and then she found it liberating. </p> <p>I, for one, will go down kicking and screaming. I do not want to become invisible and I don't think I'll ever find it liberating. If YLF is still around in 20 years, you can remind me I said that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763946 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:47:13 +0000 Michelle 763946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting, Rachy - I never really thought about its impact on others. For me it's empowerment rather than power, if that makes sense. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish/page/2#post-763934 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:35:07 +0000 rachylou 763934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Michelle, I'm so glad you posted from the other end of the spectrum! Obviously I don't want to be a hot mess and yearn to have a style, but I don't know what one does with a lot of <em>stylishness</em>. The idea of integration, interaction with the world through stylishness is, well, it's deep girl(!) </p> <p>Yes. You know, having "a style" - as is my want - is a communication. But it is not as interactive as you can get. A lot of stylishness has a lot of impact on other people. It's a direct hit. It's how come traffic CAN be stopped.</p> <p>Gives rise to the question: What do you do with all that power? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763535 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 06:43:52 +0000 Michelle 763535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread is so fascinating, Rachylou. :)<br /> I'm absolutely positioned on the opposite end of the spectrum from those who want to stop short of being stylish, and reading Angie and Aida's comments helped me articulate why. A lot of it is rooted in my blindness, which of course has been a seminal part of my identity. Most blind people don't take an interest in fashion because it's an inherently difficult concept for us to understand. I, on the other hand, have deliberately cultivated my sense of style as a way to fit into the sighted world. I'm troubled by a lot of the blindness-related stereotypes that abound in the community, and I've been determined to avoid them almost from the word go. Paying attention to aesthetic details has been one of my most effective ways to do this. With a great deal of help from YLF, I put a lot of effort into looking contemporary, on-trend and well pulled together. Sharp, crisp dressing plays well with this goal, and also reflects my fairly straight-ahead personality. When I go outside, I want to feel confident that I've done the best job I possibly can to present myself in a way that jibes with the life I want to lead, i.e. one that allows me to be fully integrated with the sighted world. When it works, I feel enormous pride because I've received validation on something more significant than my wardrobe -- it feels like an affirmation of my life choices and personality. A couple of coworkers recently told me I had a reputation as one of the best dressed in the office. While the ultimate honour would be recognition for some sort of professional merrit or social contribution, that complement pleased me more than I can say because of all it represented. </p> <p>Like many of you, turning heads is not on my agenda. I just want to dress in a way that feels true to me. If my clothing choices have taken on more emotional significance in my case than in some others, well, I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbled. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763520 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 05:55:47 +0000 rachylou 763520@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's funny to me how things don't look good when they aren't *you.* I'm constantly bewildered at how Angelina Jolie can look so good in St. John. She looks hot; I look dowdy political wife.</p> <p>I don't mind being in the spotlight, but I feel a twinge when I get there because of my clothes. I don't mean getting compliments or being told I have a style. It's when the presentation stops the conversation and people whisper their compliments behind your back. You know, it's like how you can amp your style and dress to kill - it's definitely you, but it overwhelms other people.</p> <p>Perhaps, pondering, this is a hangover from being a teenager. All that whining and envy. Or it's just my personality in terms of the human pack. I don't like being "the face." I'd rather be "the brain." I was "the face" in college. I can do it, but it took a lot of... meditation. Couldn't flip between the two modes either.</p> <p>I once worked with one of Prince's back-up singers. She wasn't *the face* either, but to be on stage she had to have something. You could feel her presence from 30 feet away. It was fascinating. In general, I have no idea of what to do with that random command of attention. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763343 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 01:25:42 +0000 Aida 763343@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*nodnod* Thank you! This makes me happy to hear (Angie I just want to hug you!) ^^ I think most people are generally not surprised about anything of my personality when they meet me... except that I am (apparently) much gigglier in person than I seem to be from my WIW photos ;)</p> <p>And, you know, I was thinking about all of this in terms specific to YLF after coming back from OC too. Many of us have commented on how amazing it is that when we meet other fabbers for the first time, it's like we KNOW them know them. Separate from the fact that we do share a lot about ourselves simply in what and in the way we communicate, on another level I think part of this is because many of us ARE looking for that authenticity in our style. When it's present, these people who we normally see on screen, as you said just _make sense_. THAT is my ultimate goal! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763332 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 01:14:41 +0000 Angie 763332@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(Oh goodness, Aida. I hadn't noticed. *blushing*)</p> <p>Aida, I love how you further worded an extension of my "authenticity" thoughts:</p> <p>"If one's style is an authentic extension of self, one generally won't look contrived or overdone" </p> <p>and then you went further to say:</p> <p>"I have no qualms with having a style and being perceived as stylish; if that precludes people from wanting to get to know me, that's their loss" </p> <p>Fantastic! Your style is very much an extension of who you are - and because I have met you, it all makes sense! :0)</p> <p>Rachy, I'm not a quirky person. If I dressed in a quirky way, it would not be authentic. I am a strict and disciplined person - and that does come through in my buttoned up style, which in turn feels 100% authentic </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763322 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 01:00:32 +0000 Aida 763322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting conversation! Even if the goal is to look "stylish without effort", even if one desires to look under the radar, well we're all here going to know that there IS effort involved Angie hit on what's key for me: authenticity. If one's style is an authentic extension of self, one generally won't look contrived or overdone. My GOAL isn't to stop traffic or turn heads, and I don't necessarily desire to stand out and get attention, but if it happens it happens. Do I blindly follow the fashions? No - as much as I enjoy being up on the trends there are certainly things I'll always be wearing regardless, and who says I have to interpret the trends the way the mags say to anyway. Do I sometimes go out of my way to go against them? Yes - because it's authentic to my nature to question and explore and rebel. I have no qualms with having a style and being perceived as stylish; if that precludes people from wanting to get to know me, that's their loss. And I have no qualms with others who DON'T desire that. This matter of authenticity has been especially heavily on my mind the last several months, it's an interesting conversation for sure.</p> <p>(And Angie, I am sorry but your style IS traffic stopping and head turning. I've seen it at work! ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763197 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:37:20 +0000 Angie 763197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My dear, Rachy! No need to apologize at all! Glamour magazine has extremely eye catching headlines and I catch myself wanting to read them too. Like you, the nature and tone of Glamour is not one that I want to support, as far as possible. </p> <p>We adore you on this board, Rachy :). Your perspectives are lateral, creative, and hilarious. You are our Queen Quirky! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763155 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 21:40:41 +0000 rachylou 763155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ohmigosh, I'm so insensitive, Angie. I'm sorry! I should avert my eyes at the newsstand and ban the word from my lips. That was such trash. An astonishing new low and hurtful. Not funny. But you <em>are</em> right, you <em>did</em> catch me out - I do not read Glamour. Because of its nature. I did something my ex-English boss would do - saw a headline and spinned off on my own.</p> <p>I think it's interesting that you also have a *style limit.* Heartening, yes, but the reason you articulate seems very important and key to me: authenticity. No doubt another reason why I like it here and find so much value in YLF. I think there is good advice to be gotten here. Being *all dressed up with nowhere to go* is a little like impersonating an officer: a bad proposition </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763127 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 20:58:26 +0000 Irene 763127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have always been on the funky side. First, it was because of my mom. She shopped for me in my early teens and convinced me to get the craziest things -I can remember a pair of silver trainers, the red Kickers, that musk green velvet pants &amp; sweater outfit with a long-sleeved striped t-shirt in different shades of green. I loved that outfit, truly loved it (only God knows why, I think it was the velvet), But I don't think my clothes reflected my personality at that time, sine I was a shy teenager with a really low self-esteem.</p> <p>Then*I* started being funky. But, at the same time, I'm classic, if that makes any sense. I just like bold pieces that will last forever.</p> <p>I have also upgrown from the 'cute' girl to one with a twisted, a bit more aggressive side -or so I try. That's because I have gone from cuter to more aggressive as well. </p> <p>So I could say my style doesn't evolve with fashion -well, it does, but I'm not a fashionista at all- but with my personality. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-763034 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 19:41:10 +0000 Angie 763034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy - you might remember why Glamour is a sore spot for me :)</p> <p>To answer your question, my style is an extension of the way I do most things in life - simple, fast, modern, graphic, colourful, high-low, polished, bold, a little retro and for the most part practical. That's why it feels right and not a stretch. My style doesn't stop traffic at all, which is 100% fine with me. But my style does feel authentic - a reflection of who I am as a person. If my style stopped traffic, it wouldn't feel authentic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762965 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:21:18 +0000 rachylou 762965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Angie - Lololol! Drat! I can't get around your powers of observation... ;&gt; </p> <p>@caro - Lol - I saw some white go go boots earlier this week... at the Halloween costume store. Poor little boots, gettin' no respect ;&gt;</p> <p>@Suz - But how much do you want to knock 'em dead? ;&gt;</p> <p>@cheryl - They'd have to drag me off the boards!</p> <p>@Astrid - That's so true for me. I really don't want to worry and plan that much. I love to ponder fashion in general, but I don't want to be so careful with what I wear. I feel restricted.</p> <p>@Carole - Comfort comes first to me. Flattering is not in the back seat; it's in the trunk. It's a problem of mine that I recognise.</p> <p>@krishnidoux &amp; kellygirl &amp; Mellllls &amp; shevia - Funny about that "French rule" and flying under the radar - and not in people's faces. It's perhaps the one I have taken most to heart. Perhaps it's somewhat like the other maxim about speaking a little softer, so people have to pay attention just a little more. The thing about "substance" v. "attractiveness" is very keen too. I have to think about that (assess my outfits against that standard).</p> <p>@Una - I know, right? Good-stodgy or iconic? I kinda like Kate Hepburn for straddling that line in many ways. Grace Kelly on the other hand brings up my worries about *S*tylishness. So stunning, but also so careful a woman. I feel maybe it was limiting.</p> <p>@Zapotee &amp; Gaylene - Work is definitely a place where I don't want my outfits to be commented on. I want to be as fashionable (or probably more accurately, full of personality) as possible, up to the point where someone actually says anything. I like work. I'm really at work to work.</p> <p>@Henley &amp; nancylee - Yes! Very much so! I want to have my own style without being *stylish.* Sometimes when a person is capital S stylish, it all just stops with the entrance of the clothes. It's like they kill the rest of the story. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762541 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 03:12:28 +0000 Jaime 762541@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like wearing something a little unexpected and intentional, but my clothes don't really yell look at me. Wearing a hat does, but I am used to that and actually amazed how many compliments I get on them. I also like repeating outfits, and in some contexts do like to dress to blend in rather than defy the norm. I guess I dress for myself, and sometimes myself is more concerned with the crowd than usual. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762527 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 02:36:45 +0000 cheryl 762527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was fun thread to read and you should definitely NOT get off the fashion boards. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762519 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 02:16:43 +0000 Suz 762519@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Formulas. Tried and trues. Happy with repeating. Yup. That's me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762496 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 01:42:16 +0000 Angie 762496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You read Glamour? </p> <p>:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762493 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 01:34:42 +0000 Anonymous 762493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"My goal is to develop my own style, but I don't want to look like I'm trying".<br /> I just found my mantra. Thank you Henley! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762478 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 01:11:02 +0000 Caro in Oz 762478@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the way your mind rolls:)<br /> I guess my answer is it all depends on what you mean by stylish.<br /> I've worn boots with pants &amp; jackets since the '60s but some of the ones I wore back then I wouldn't wear now &amp; I doubt they would be considered stylish (white go go boots I'm looking at you). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762470 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 00:51:27 +0000 Mellllls 762470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't like to stand out so that certainly influences my style choices. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-insights-or-stopping-short-of-stylish#post-762468 Thu, 01 Nov 2012 00:49:17 +0000 nancylee 762468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can really relate to this, RL. I love formula dressing, too, and, like Krish, prefer to fly slightly under the radar style-wise. I'm not exactly RATE, but "sharp" and "crisp" are just not in my style dictionary. Although I do like to tweak my look a little to stay current, I really prefer to not have my clothes announce me. Neutrals, formula dressing, low-key...that's my comfort zone. And I'm ok with that. </p> <p>Basically, what Henley said. </p>