https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 05 Apr 2026 07:20:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1475158 Thu, 16 Apr 2015 01:06:43 +0000 Marina 1475158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I was going to ask if you are transferring some emotional distress or other problems to your clothes, but you already answered.<br />I may be imagining things, but it sounds like you went for a huge life change and your inner self is still adjusting. Maybe you are having issues trying to conciliate your "old self" with your new life?</p> <p>Back to your wardrobe, I guess you are plenty of good advice right now, </p> <p>but I think you probably should start buying things instead of waiting, just do it slowly. Same way you are transferring emotional stuff to your clothes, the way you feel while dressing will affect your personal feelings about your life too. </p> <p>Feeling comfortable in your clothes will help you to feel more at easy with your life.<br />Star by cleaning/reorganizing your wardrobe before anything else, to see what you actually need right now.&nbsp;I would start separating things in 3 groups: what I really don't like or can't be used anymore, things I really like and will keep, things I don't hate but don't like either or with fit issues that can still be used (we usually can't afford a entire brand new wardrobe, so it's wise to take it slow). First group should go away - and maybe some pieces can be exchanged for other things in a thrift. From the other 2 groups, examine what you actually need and just try to find something inside your budget that: 1) work for you (shape, color, etc), 2) work with things in your "I like" group, 3) prefer basic stuff. Since you are still adjusting/having doubts about style, avoid too stylish/trendy things - basics will be needed in any capsules you built in future and they will work with any style you choose afterwards.</p> <p>A last suggestion, don't do that on a day you are particularly more dissatisfied or stressed neither do it with an empty stomach or after eating something you don't really like. Sounds silly, but food really affect our satisfaction/dissatisfaction feelings and a dissatisfied stomach will increase your shopping impulse - and the odds of shopping something you will regret later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1475047 Wed, 15 Apr 2015 21:15:57 +0000 K.M. 1475047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, I think part of my issue is that the clothes came to symbolize a lot of emotional stuff, and so you are right that I made them more complicated, heavier, than they should be. <br />LGS, I will have to check out the video! I love scarves, that's the one thing I have in plentiful and happy numbers. <br />This past night I went to bed thinking how nice it would be if I could actually have a personal session with Angie; then I had a dream that this came true. So thank you Angie for your compassion and empathy--thanks everyone for that--and of course for all the wonderful fashion advice.<br />Then this morning the point about my ill-fitting and outdated wardrobe was driven home. I was wearing a beloved purple light-wool jacket, which is more than a decade old (sort of a cropped peacoat). I was also feeling painful pangs in my stomach, and being a bit of a hypochondriac I thought I had an ulcer. It took me an hour to realize that the jacket was too tight. As I mentioned earlier, after pregnancy my ribcage went from a 32 to a 34. The change is small enough that old clothes still fit, even buttoned up, but some are ever slightly too tight. I laughed at myself as I unbuttoned and released myself from the pain in more ways than one... <br />And LGS, great point about consignment; I've done it in the Fall for the first time and I will do it again. (Just not this jacket. It's a cherished gift from my mom, I might have to store it in a box of personal treasures...) </p> <p>PS. Somewhat of a dumb question, possibly to be posted on another thread. Where do you find good images of outfits for "harvesting" for Pinterest? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1475011 Wed, 15 Apr 2015 19:59:25 +0000 LGS 1475011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have you considered going through your closet and perhaps consigning many of the items you no longer wear? &nbsp;Shoes, clothing, bags, etc. &nbsp;This might give you a few extra $ to put toward your budget. &nbsp;</p> <p>I believe it makes sense to start with the best basics you can afford. &nbsp;A couple of nice pants (or jeans), several solid tops or t-shirts (in basics, such as white, black, light gray, and include a stripe, as well). &nbsp;These basics can be layered under a cute jacket (or two as the budget allows). &nbsp;Once you're able to add to your wardrobe, it would be great to purchase a few jackets ~ navy, white or cream, and a black jacket. &nbsp;I think texture can create so much interest to an outfit, so it would be nice for the jackets to be in a tweed or have some interesting, brass buttons (on a navy jacket). &nbsp;This is a personal preference, but I believe that jackets are a lot cuter and more feminine when they have a 3/4 sleeve. &nbsp;That way you can also show off some cute, stacked bracelets or bangles.</p> <p>Then comes the fun stuff. &nbsp;Accessories really are the icing on the cake. &nbsp;Start adding in some belts (basics like black, chocolate brown, and nude) and an animal print. &nbsp;Belts add so much structure and polish to an outfit. Add a variety of shoes suitable for your lifestyle in black, navy and nude or metallic ~ ballet flats, pointy-toe pumps, wedges, flat sandals, etc. &nbsp;Add one pair of shoes in an animal print or snakeskin that can add some pizazz to a jeans and jacket ensemble, for example.&nbsp;</p> <p>A variety of scarves is another easy way to add color to the combinations mentioned above. &nbsp;Scarves add interest, polish and texture (see the Eileen Fisher website for the video showing unique ways to tie a scarf). &nbsp;A long necklace is another way to really pull an outfit together. &nbsp;</p> <p>Good luck, and please give us a progress report!!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1474944 Wed, 15 Apr 2015 17:36:41 +0000 Astrid 1474944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you need to give yourself a break. (hug) Seriously, they're just clothes, in the end. No need to go crazy over wardrobe building. These things take time. I vote try to enjoy what you have in your wardrobe right now. Build a few outfits you really like and repeat those as often as necessary. Store the other stuff you rarely wear elsewhere and add items back into the wardrobe when you use them. Think about where you want your style to go and take care that future purchases fall in line with that, but don't hurry to buy anything and stick to your budget. It might take a while, but you don't need to figure it out all at once. There's no "perfect" wardrobe anyway. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1474937 Wed, 15 Apr 2015 17:23:48 +0000 K.M. 1474937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>rachylou, Yes, everything feels like Sisyphus work... And I fear that I get so caught up in these tasks that I forget how to enjoy life and myself. When is the last time I went to a movie theater? Read a novel? Went to hear live music? Things I used to do not just for pleasure, but because they enriched me and made me who I am. Or was... </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe/page/2#post-1474533 Wed, 15 Apr 2015 00:47:53 +0000 rachylou 1474533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*a larger crisis in my life about how I manage my time, my energy, my space, my leisure, even my mental space*</p> <p>Big hugs from me too. I don't really have any brilliant thoughts to add to everyone else's brilliant thoughts. But I just wanted to say I really sympathise with the statement above. It's... and now I have to laugh, I'm so sad, haha... I'm really proud of myself for doing one thing a day, like a load of laundry (and note folding doesn't happen on the same day EVER). I don't know why it's so hard to get things done and make them stay done! (Please no one point out to me that every day there will be a dish to wash, that that's the nature of it... I do not believe this. When I wash one dish, this should mean all my dishes should now be washed forever and ever.)</p> <p>I have been doing the big purge after downsizing homes for 5 years now. I'm still on clothes. I haven't touched magazines or kitchenwares...</p> <p>Not to scare you or anything about how long things can take... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474507 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:56:57 +0000 Angie 1474507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>EXCELLENT, K.M. Sounds like you know what to do to get started. Keep us posted and hang in there. It's going to be a lot more fun than you think.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474499 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:50:35 +0000 K.M. 1474499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your support and your help. I am so sorry I can't reply to each of you individually (I'm a single parent during the week--long story--so I never have much free time). </p> <p>It took me a long time to build up the courage to write this post here... Your collective wisdom and understanding are as fabulous as your outfits! <br />I love the idea of putting together a few workweek outfits from my current wardrobe. I feel like I can do this! And it will be so much more helpful than buying things without a plan.<br />I also like the suggestion of starting with one pair of shoes--this is a big need in my wardrobe (I basically only have boots or sandals)--and holding off on more purchases until I figure out the larger stuff.<br />And the advice on colors is very helpful; I never thought about it, and as a result I have a lot of mismatch.<br />You all got me excited about this, especially starting a pin board of some sort and getting rid of the stuff that brings me down. <br />I can't thank you all enough. I've felt all the warmth of your collective hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474495 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:44:00 +0000 Angie 1474495@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There is excellent information here - thanks Suz and Jeweled. Your astute thoughts are much appreciated.</p> <p>I will reiterate though - because this is how I have been working with clients for years - that none of these practical tips can begin until you have thought about your style aspirations and edited your closet. <b><i>THEN</i></b> you can "start from scratch" building your refreshed look by identifying your lifestyle needs, style preferences, your favourite types of outfits, fit challenges and colour palettes - and building&nbsp;<i>that</i>&nbsp;information into a budget per season or per month.&nbsp;</p> <p>AND ONE step at a time. Rome was not built in a day. This takes patience and soul searching.&nbsp;</p> <p>We are here to help you every step of the way.&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474494 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:43:57 +0000 Vicki 1474494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>K. M., you deserve a pat on the back and a hug for knowing yourself enough to know when you're not happy and expressing it. &nbsp;I think we have all been through these stagnant moments where we're buying something, because it seems to feel good, but in the long run it just wasn't right for us.</p> <p>I've made a lot of mistakes, and ended up selling some on eBay. &nbsp;You've received some really great advice here by our forum friends.</p> <p>I loved your comment about Kondo-ing your wardrobe and I'm in the middle of that book, too. &nbsp;Some women choose to have a ten-item (or thereabouts) wardrobe a la The Daily Connoisseur to simplify their lives. &nbsp;Others tend to dress in a uniform that works for them, even the most well-known and fashionable, like French Vogue editor,&nbsp;Emmanuelle Alt, who wears skinny jeans and pants, with a tee and blazer or leather moto. &nbsp;Read more here: &nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2012/09/emmanuelle-alt-look-book.html">http://nymag.com/thecut/2012/0.....-book.html</a></p> <p>Simplify by focusing in on what items bring you joy and wear those for a week. &nbsp;Select three or four of your favorite colors or prints and see how you feel. &nbsp;I know if you loved fashion before, you will again, and please don't be hard on yourself.</p> <p>To get that confidence back, wear your favorites a little more often. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474493 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:42:59 +0000 AM 1474493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Perhaps you could post a challenge for all fabbers who are style shifting/experiencing a life changer...to post their process, images, pinterest links, descriptors, whatever methods they are using. It could be a collaborative experience and potentially yield more fun. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474492 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:27:16 +0000 Suz 1474492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, yes -- it is a <b>GREAT</b> idea to narrow your neutrals and colours. It will really help.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474489 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 23:04:31 +0000 Jeweled 1474489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi K.M., here's the first step that helped me the most with getting my wardrobe to a useable, remixable state:</p> <p>(1) Choose two or three neutral colors.<br />(2) Choose two or three color-colors.</p> <p>Ideally, all of the color choices above will be colors that work well with each other.&nbsp; And every neutral and color-color you choose should be one you love and feel good wearing.</p> <p>I found that having this kind of color limitation makes for a really remixable, versatile wardrobe.</p> <p>Shopping choices are easier too - you shop only for pieces in your designated neutrals and colors.&nbsp; So any new piece you bring home should be wearable in several different ways with what you've already got.</p> <p>Another tremendous help were these two series on Audrey's "Putting Me Together" blog:</p> <p>Wardrobe from Scratch Series:<br /><a href="http://www.puttingmetogether.com/p/wardrobe-from-scratch-series.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.puttingmetogether.c.....eries.html</a> </p> <p>Building a Remixable Wardrobe Series:<br /><a href="http://www.puttingmetogether.com/p/building-remixable-wardrobe-series.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.puttingmetogether.c.....eries.html</a></p> <p>As you go through these series above, you may find yourself thinking, "I have pieces in my closet I can use in these ways!"</p> <p>I hope this helps, K.M.!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474444 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 20:43:45 +0000 Suz 1474444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Huge hugs. I have DEFINITELY been there, and seemed to stay there for a long while, too. I remember watching other Fabbers just zip ahead, learning so much where I seemed utterly stalled...</p> <p>Well, part of the problem was my budget. Like you, I had very little money. I changed my working situation and deliberately devoted more to my wardrobe for a few years. It really helped. Not everyone can do that, of course -- I was quite lucky. But if it's possible to adjust your spending a bit, I would recommend it.&nbsp;</p> <p>But before you spend a penny, do as Angie says and figure out what general kind of style you'd like to aim for. She has a couple of great blog posts on this in the archives. Just go through, ask yourself the questions, pin photos of outfits you would love to wear.&nbsp;</p> <p>The other step that was really helpful to me was a very clear breakdown of my capsules by activity. I learned, for instance, that I have:&nbsp;</p> <ul> <li>A work from home, MOTG capsule.&nbsp;</li> <li>A city visiting capsule.&nbsp;</li> <li>An appearances capsule that has some crossover with both of these but also needs its own items.&nbsp;</li> <li>A workout capsule.&nbsp;</li> <li>A dressy and/or date night capsule (that overlaps but is not identical to appearances). '</li> <li>A sleep capsule.&nbsp;</li> </ul> <br />Also, because of my winter climate, I really needed some good coats.&nbsp;</p> <p>When I started on YLF, I literally &nbsp;had nothing that fit. So I needed to fill out each of these capsules. Because my budget was almost nonexistent, I started with the ones I could manage most easily from the discount stores (sleep, workout). </p> <p>Then I bought coats. Desperately needed. I got one on sale and one at full price.&nbsp;</p> <p>Then I began to add in higher quality jeans. Why? Because denim is a staple of my work from home, city visiting AND appearances AND date night capsules. I knew it would earn its CPW.&nbsp;</p> <p>Next I began to invest in great toppers/ footwear. After that, it was tops, skirts, other trousers, etc.&nbsp;</p> <p>This worked for my climate and lifestyle, but it might not work for you. Basically, the idea is to make an inventory of your daily activities and consider this together with your dominant weather before you begin to spend.&nbsp;</p> <p>You will get there. It may take time, but it will happen. Wardrobe happiness is within your reach!! And we are here to help.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474428 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 20:21:14 +0000 Sal 1474428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Late to the thread and won't give any more advice as there is plenty of wisdom here. You are not alone in having these patches. Take care and virtual hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474415 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:30:25 +0000 Angie 1474415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Once you've nailed the aspiration - the closet review and cull is next.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474413 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:25:33 +0000 Daria 1474413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs K.M., it all sounds too familiar. I too neglected my wardrobe since my first child was born.. more than 5 years ago.. and filling up so many gaps at once seems so overwhelming. (I posted here my quest for spring/summer toppers - an obvious wardrobe hole for me, but since buying more than one or two is not in the budget, I will probably never take any decision..).<br />As others suggested, I would still start with building one or two capsules that are of highest priority. You do need some clothes that you feel great in, even if it's only one outfit for now. <br />Is thrifting an option for you? There are online consignment stores as well (thredup is one example; I know there are others).<br />Good luck, and consider posting photos of some of your outfits, even if you consider them less than stellar - they might be not as bad as you think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474371 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:45:52 +0000 AM 1474371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs from me too. Body changes are all too familiar. And then when you add style shifting...it's difficult for all of us. I'd also focus on creating &nbsp;a few outfits that feel good if not very good. Build on these but come to grips that this is just a transition period. If you feel like you need something new...pick a great workhouse shoe. A shoe can make the simplest outfits feel fresh. At the same time I would start assembling images (in whatever way works for you...I love PowerPoint) that in some way speak to you. Cast the net wide and have fun. Then start to hone your new style. And try to have fun doing all of this. Smile a lot. Share a lot! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474366 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:34:07 +0000 texstyle 1474366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I think most of us go through some similar feelings at some point. For me, if it's feeling overwhelming, that is usually a good time to tackle only what is absolutely necessary and sit back and give myself some time for everything else. If you really need a good pair of shoes, by all means buy some and don't stress over it too much if they are perfect or not. Focus on comfort, practicality and just flattering enough to do what you need for now. For the other things, think simple. Like just getting through the 5 day workweek. Some people have found it easier to just buy 5 similar tops in one of their "good" colors&nbsp;and wear them each day with a neutral bottom&nbsp;and not worry about it until they have more of an idea of where they want to go fashion wise. I got by on very basic, mostly navy tees and jeans for about three years when I moved to the country and started working from home. I wasn't fashionable but I was comfortable and it kept me from having to worry about what to wear each day. Now most of those are still used for loungewear so even better they were reusable.</p> <p>I also find it sort of reassuring to do a little test once in while and ask myself, if I lost everything in my closet, what would I feel that I *had* to replace right away? Usually it's very basic, jeans, pants, a couple of tops, one pair of good shoes, one pair or sneaks, and a jacket. That's sort of my reality check - fashion is supposed to be fun and when it's not, it probably means it's time to focus on other things first and get back to it when if feels more fun again.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474356 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:20:03 +0000 Gaylene 1474356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, K.M. I think everyone on the forum can relate to how you're feeling because we all have been in that spot during transitional periods. </p> <p>I think different strategies work for different people, so I'd pick the one that sounds most workable for you. And I'd settle a "good enough" closet for a while instead of looking for style nirvana. </p> <p>My path was to pare down my closet to its bare bones. I figured I'd rather wear a couple of outfits that made me feel good over and over instead of pawing through a pile of stuff that made me feel bad. When I looked at the reject piles, I tried to analyze them to come up with some guidelines for any future purchases. I also realized, at that point in my life, I was happiest in a uniform of pants, boots, and a topper so I decided to stick to that uniform for a while. I tried to find a few well-chosen accessories so I could have some minor variations on the theme. Working from this core made me feel more in control and helped me realize I did have very definite style preferences even if I couldn't articulate them. </p> <p>Going on a style diet was the re-boot I needed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474351 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:13:10 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1474351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are about to turn this around. Taking the time to really see what you are feeling and what your goals are and writing them out is a wonderful first step... Identifying the problems and thinking of solutions means you are on your way to getting out of this. &nbsp;With the money restriction really nailing down your direction is key. &nbsp;I think I would definitely add some basics to start with one or two of whatever the show stopper pieces are for your style to kick them up. &nbsp;<br />It really doesn't take much to lift your spirits and feel like you are moving in the right direction. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474348 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:05:58 +0000 Aida 1474348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>More hugs from me! Great advice above, nothing more to offer but empathy. After losing weight, over the last year the majority of my well curated wardrobe doesn't fit right and the thought of replacing so many pieces which I already spent so much time finding has been a little paralyzing. In my case, I've been working with what I have, even if the fit is a bit off, and adding the new pieces slowly as the budget allows; I've also set aside my most favorite pieces still in good condition for those periods of weight fluctuation that inevitably seem come now and then. It does help that I know my style and where I want to go, or else I'd have too many places to try and focus. I agree with Angie that this would be the place to start, or you'll end up in another unhappy place. Take a little time with this and try not to over frazzle yourself. You can do it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474344 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:01:37 +0000 kkards 1474344@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>you've gotten lots of great advice here...but i'm going to tell you what i would do.....<br />i'm a firm believer that when a project seems overwhelming, and from what you have said you are overwhelmed....don't think of the project, think of the tasks, which are usally small and manageable.<br />so, task 1,&nbsp; 5 outfits, one for each day of the workweek. can you do it? <br />if not, task 2, what's missing that you need to get dressed and out the door each morning? <br />task 3, what's the budget for those items identified in task 2.<br />task 4, finding those pieces....and don't be afaird to ask for help. </p> <p>once you've started on the tasks, the project will begin to take shape, and you can decide if there are larger bigger picture things you want to tackle. <br />anyway, for what it's worth, that's how i'd approach it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474341 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 16:56:47 +0000 SandyG 1474341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All of us who have children understand those changing body vulnerabilities and the enormous, focused energy required for family and work. You might be shortchanging yourself by directing energy, time and money into that, and not leaving ample amounts for yourself. You'll get depleted and have no zest for things you formerly enjoyed.</p> <p>Re the money issue -- we had very little money when the kids were small; that's how I got into vintage clothing. It was Thrifty and I found a few fabulous, well made items that I could wear casual-to-formal. We mixed with wealthy business clients; I felt well dressed and stylish, still loving clothes and happy that no one knew I only had a tiny student budget :)</p> <p>Re the time issue -- take the time, MAKE the time: evaluate and edit what you currently have so you can clear your head. &nbsp;Find your hardest to fit item and shop until you find something you like. For me it's jeans and pants that take a lot of shopping time, tiring but necessary. A perfect black tee and a breton top worked for most smart casual looks and mixed with most bottoms. A great cargo jacket with four pockets eliminated a handbag (and helped me feel better about not having a fashionable one It's hard work but every little bit helped to solve a problem and make life smoother.&nbsp;</p> <p>Expressing your discomfort is a bold step. There's lots of understanding on this forum! It gets easier, less unruly. You get a big pat on the back for what you've done so far, and a chance to be excited for the wonderful 'you' that's developing. </p> <p>You're not stuck, you're just gathering yourself to leap forward. I hope you find some renewed energy. Have fun and tell us how you do.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474336 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 16:46:59 +0000 Author Linda 1474336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you have space to store some of those clothes? Because as others have said: you don't have to get rid of things just yet. What might help, though, is to do a cull so that your main closet has only what you love and will use. That might help you see where your style is already well-served and where it has holes.</p> <p>I've been where you are. A few times, actually. After having kids. Reentering the work force. After retiring. After losing weight. It's ever so frustrating to look into a closet and see... clothes that no longer fit. That don't fit a lifestyle. That don't fit a body. That don't fit where we want to be.&nbsp;</p> <p>Baby steps. It's okay to have a transition period as you figure it out. Buy a few inexpensive items that have one thing you need or want to expand the wardrobe you do have. The right kind of shirt. A versatile skirt. Something in a color you love. A downsized wardrobe of items you actually wear and enjoy can go a long way. It gets the job done... until you know precisely what items you want to acquire toward a new, fresh style.</p> <p>It can take a season or two to reach equilibrium. Life can get messy and difficult and sometimes the best thing to do is to take the pressure off yourself. Building a wardrobe should be fun, not stressful. Hope you soon get back to the fun part. *hugs*</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474331 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 16:31:03 +0000 Elizabeth P 1474331@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you have a pinterest board?&nbsp; I went through a revamping 2-3 years ago, and I found that starting a board with work outfits, and one with MOTG outfits that really spoke to me, helped me hone in on perhaps not my style, but at least pieces that I was obviously drawn to.&nbsp; Gave me a starting point anyway.&nbsp; When every second photo is of rolled BF jeans... means it's time to get some BF jeans!&nbsp; And some shoes that work with them, and a couple of tops... all of a sudden you have a capsule.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474327 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 16:23:58 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1474327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh man, I have been there, sister! *hugs* </p> <p>Sounds like you've got a combination of figure changes, a case of analysis paralysis (which I am the queen of btw!), and a tight budget, which makes any decision-making even more fraught.</p> <p>I was going to recommend that you not go crazy culling, because you don't have a clear direction you want to go yet, BUT - correct me if I'm wrong, people who've been pregnant, but the the stuff that doesn't fit from before your pregnancy, I'd get rid of it. Your hipbones and ribcage are not going to shrink back even if your body continues to change, especially if your kiddo is 4 already. At least put those items away somewhere for a while so you don't think of them as part of your active wardrobe. </p> <p>I like Toban's point that you don't have to have a whole fabulous wardrobe at this point, and most people won't even notice if you wear the same few things over and over. See if you've got an outfit or two that makes you feel good. See if you can put a few more together. Wear that stuff, especially on days when you're in a funk, while you do some budgeting and planning for the long-term. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474277 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:19:55 +0000 Angie 1474277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>K.M, you start by thinking through the style you aspire to - and reflecting on how different that is from your current style. Once you have nailed that - we can help you follow through with a plan.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474270 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:10:08 +0000 K.M. 1474270@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, thanks to all of you so much. I'm fighting the tears in front of my computer (I'm at work. If I were home I would just let it all out.) These are seriously wonderful suggestions, and also seriously helpful empathy. thank you, thank you. Marlene and Olivegreen, you are totally right about not buying new stuff for now; I think that's why I've not bought anything in probably four or five months, which is a record. Toban, I like your idea about how to proceed. And I'm nodding to your comments on the body being different. Pregnancy, weight gain, weight loss, and then a body that's ever so slightly different from before, just enough that things don't fit. My hips are wider and so is my rib cage, my feet are wider, my breasts are smaller--so things might even fit but they don't look right and they are super uncomfortable (that goes for all my wool jackets). <br />I am so heartened and I feel less lonely. Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-overwhelmed-and-lost-in-my-wardrobe#post-1474269 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:08:53 +0000 Olivegreen 1474269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds like you are reassessing so much. Maybe keep the clothing very simple and basic and just wearable enough, while tacking the emotional part of the changes. When things have settled a bit, your wardrobe choices will probably be easier, maybe have a direction. In the meantime, throwing money at it sounds like it won't work? So you can take a break from the expectation of looking together till you feel together. I have done this in the past, getting along with make do till my current preferences woke up and started talking to me. </p>