https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 20:15:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638727 Sun, 03 Apr 2016 03:18:47 +0000 Jaime 1638727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First off, so sorry you are going through this, but glad you have been diagnosed and the solution is in sight. Relating to your situation a bit like a c-section, meaning the advice to find a few pleasing things that don't compress your mid section in any way sounds right. And then buy shoes of course. And makeup and/or jewelry. And blur over everything in between.<br />I hope you manage to schedule the surgery asap and have a quick recovery! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638547 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 18:52:46 +0000 catgirl 1638547@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Again- am touched and enlightened by all the wisdom here. A friend and I are going to consignment and Rack to look for a couple of comfy pants and tops to get me through, and I'm just going to go into maternity mode with the idea that I will come out with a new and healthier body. So much love for all of you and the forum itself for understanding that style is still a concern when most IRL folks do not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638460 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 15:58:38 +0000 approprio 1638460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry you're having to go through all this. Life sucks sometimes.&nbsp;</p> <p>There's some really great advice in this thread. The only thing I have to add is that if you're going to be incapacitated for a while, it would be nice to have something around you that cheers you up and makes you feel just a little bit fab. My suggestion then is that you should&nbsp;treat yourself to an exquisite pair of silk pyjamas.</p> <p>All the best Una. We're rooting for you.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638452 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 15:19:06 +0000 Vix 1638452@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Una --</p> <p>First, as one abdominal-zone-pain, post-surgery woman to another, I have some advice:</p> <p>start preparing mentally for needing the non-binding clothes til TBD and closet edit (remove / put in holding zone) and shop with that in mind. Whatever's uncomfortable now needs to go out of your immediate vicinity.&nbsp;</p> <p>I had less removed than you and still it took several months for swelling to go down. That's just nature at work, really. One annoying thing is that I wore loose-at-waist pants back to work but when I sat the lower waistband hit in ways that hurt (grrr). So really knit skirts and dresses were my saviors -- despite being sick of them from so many years of pre-op wear!</p> <p>Also, don't know if your op is minimally invasive (mine was) but scar tissue forms for about a year after and you may find you have pressure points that don't take to the barest restriction. I know you'll be feeling TONS better after surgery, but I'd say "shop/test run, shop/test run" for a good long time vs buying in bulk!</p> <p>I'm a year-plus out and had pelvic floor PT (RECOMMEND!! start looking for a good one now!) as soon as I was cleared which helped with lots, esp adhesions, but had to go back this winter to let her have a crack at me.&nbsp;My spring jeans shopping was due in part to my old styles technically fitting fine but just hitting that scar tissue (again, grrrr). </p> <p>Obviously YMMV with this! I will say most jeans now feel like jeggings so that's a plus hahaha -- I think I can stretch the waistband of my new ones by about 3 inches.</p> <p>So: novel but I think you really have to start thinking about buying what you like for your current shape and sensibilities, knowing that this is a journey not an event.</p> <p>Best wishes for getting things scheduled and moving forward! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638363 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 11:38:21 +0000 Staysfit 1638363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, so sorry to hear about your health concerns. Whatever you decide, I hope your surgery result is good and the recovery goes quickly. </p> <p>Personally, I find it comforting to clean and organize things before going through what may be a big event, or a change in my daily routine, etc. It allows me to maintain some sense of control in my life, even if false, when I may have no control over other factors. </p> <p>I have never regretted any item purged from my closet. Once it's gone, I don't think about it anymore, and so far after the appropriate season in a holding zone box, if an item wasn't retrieved, I purge it too. </p> <p>It really is easier to make outfits and to define my style with fewer items: You may find this too, but the right time for a purge is up to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638350 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 10:54:55 +0000 Summer 1638350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's horrible being in a state of flux, as you are now. &nbsp;I'm sure that once you have a date for your operation you will feel more settled.<br />Angie and the others have given you excellent advice, so I can't really add anything, except to wish you luck with your surgery &nbsp;and a speedy recovery. &nbsp;Take care.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638304 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 06:52:26 +0000 Bijou 1638304@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wishing you a speedy recovery. You always look incredibly stylish, it must be in your DNA, as I can not imagine you looking anything but fabulous. &nbsp;Comfort both before and after surgery are essential and things that raise your spirit even more so.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638290 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 05:55:32 +0000 chirico (Chiara) 1638290@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi, I am sorry to hear about this health situation. I really hope you can get your surgery ASAP.<br /> You got great suggestions (I like the idea of boxing your most expensive items, and of an accessories refresh), but I wanted to add one more:<br /> Go treat yourself! I mean something like - get a mani, a piedi, a long message, a face treatment, a makeup session before going out, and so on. It can do a lot to lift your spirit and put you more at peace with your body, even if it's not a long lasting solution. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it/page/2#post-1638269 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 04:31:50 +0000 Deborah 1638269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would go slowly and not purge to drastically at this stage. &nbsp;The situation with your body is only short term so I would be wearing of make long term decision based on how things are right now.</p> <p>It it makes you feel better, do an edit and put things away, out of sight and out of mind.</p> <p>I realise there are other factors to be considered but I would endeavour to book in for the surgery as soon as possible.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638260 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 04:10:14 +0000 Eliza 1638260@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una- sometimes life creates a perfect storm of disequilibrium for us. Everyone is different and your wisdom is great; you'll find your ways forward. In the meantime, I'd make sure that the closet didn't mock me every morning by having a few reliable outfits that are comfortable now and suitable for current routines. Perhaps keeping them in a separate section so they are easily found would help. I'd also talk to someone in the Dr's office if I needed details about appropriate post-surgery garb. Should the cushy pull on pants be high or low waisted? Any tricks? Be sure you have that covered with no laundry bottle necks. Have that accessory party, too.</p> <p>This may not be time for the biggest decisions about your wardrobe. Agree a refreshing edit and a holding zone could be possibilities. If it were me, I'd hang onto things with appeal, but a currently awkward fit. Then have your surgery, recover and later re-visit the items. At that point, you'll know. </p> <p>Hang in there. YLF has your back.</p> <p>Rachy- boo on your foot injury. I know exactly how much the world shrinks when you can't step comfortably. Here's to workable footwear. </p> <p>Anna- sorry your back is so challenging. Hope the shot helped. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638249 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 03:35:50 +0000 Debbie 1638249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ina-I am sorry you are going through this. I was in Target today and they have some cute dresses and some very cute loungewear.<br /> Anna-Sorry about your back.<br /> Rachel-Hope your foot gets better soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638244 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 03:13:31 +0000 Brooklyn 1638244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have already had great advice. This is just an empathy reply. Hang in there </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638230 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 02:55:59 +0000 catgirl 1638230@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo, agreed. I need preapproval from insurance and time off from work, but the sooner the better. </p> <p>Anna, that sounds awful! Wish I could jewelry shop with you.</p> <p>Donna, very wise advice for my boys.</p> <p>Angie, sounds like a proactive plan!</p> <p>Denise and others, thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. I knew you all would help. Meanwhile I had fun shopping for my friends and making them buy stuff! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638224 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 02:27:06 +0000 Echo 1638224@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hate to suggest something you either cannot do or are emphatically against right now, but I think you might want to consider having the surgery sooner. Really, truly, it will probably not take you nearly as long to recover as you think it will (it didn't me, and you are in considerably better shape than I was when I had surgery), and it will get your world back to normal so much sooner.</p> <p>In the meantime, I would suggest you do not currently purge. Box it all up if you cannot stand the sight of it, but don't yet get rid of it. Buy as few pieces as possible to get you through the interim. And yes, buy accessories that fit if they will help. But the real answer here is to get your body the care it needs (surgery) ASAP.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638212 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 01:51:28 +0000 annagybe 1638212@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had the day off because I got stabbed in ass for a steroid shot to my spine.<br /> I looked at a lot of jewelry, because that always fits. Unlike 90% of my closet. So I feel you.<br /> The earring trends are big now. Multiple small earrings or really big hoops. Ear crawlers seem to be waning. With your hair style I don't think earrings are a viable option.<br /> Necklaces were also small &amp; layered, not really your style. If your willing to revisit the 90's, chokers &amp; collars are in.<br /> There is some geometric stuff out there that might work, but you'll have to search a bit more.<br /> Rings are open on top, wrapping on the underside of the finger. Don't know if you wear rings though.<br /> Hope this helps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638209 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 01:38:22 +0000 DonnaF 1638209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Focus on keeping track of all you do for your family; write it down.&nbsp; Then train DH and DS to do it all without direction from you, including your thinking process.&nbsp; If you do the marketing, have DS make a habit of noticing if the milk/ice cream/cereal/dog food gets low and then write it on a list.</p> <p>Has the hair color affected the colors you like to wear?&nbsp; If yes, maybe do some purging based on color.</p> <p>Please schedule your surgery; the ramifications of waiting sound so scary.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638200 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 01:18:04 +0000 Aquamarine 1638200@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good advice here. I like CocoLions's clear directions. Be patient with yourself...this too shall pass. Try some fun lipsticks, eyeliner colors you never wear. And go shoe shopping. </p> <p>A break from your closet during this phase may clear your head and you'll know what to do re: purging when you are back on your feet and healed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638190 Sat, 02 Apr 2016 00:38:42 +0000 Sally 1638190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry to hear about your health issues.&nbsp; I'm in a style fix for different reasons.&nbsp; I am in between weight loss and am feeling ambivalent about my style.&nbsp;&nbsp; I wanted to purge all my clothes (even&nbsp;stuff that fitted&nbsp;but didn't feel&nbsp;right) &nbsp;but instead bundled it up in 2 bags and left them at my mums.&nbsp; I am selling my house at the moment so have had to declutter anyway otherwise I would have put them in the spare room.&nbsp; I'm going to leave them there till I can go through it and decide what I need to keep.&nbsp; I"m surviving on a small capsule till I can think about what I need and just changing my shoes for variety, adding scarves etc.&nbsp; As someone said, its a bit like maternity when you know it wont be like this forever.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> <p>My stomach used to be my sensitive area through bloating all the time and I found leggings and tunic dresses good. also dresses as they tend to fall from the&nbsp;bust.&nbsp; &nbsp; Some jeans are easier on your stomachs...for some reason the elasticized button ups feel more comfortable on the waist to me.&nbsp; &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638182 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 23:42:08 +0000 unfrumped 1638182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Empathies here!</p> <p>Boxing up --good.<br />Do the capsule focus. Shop your closet and identify several outfits that work well right now. Accept repeats and monotony--use the accessories/shoe/makeup for fun. If surgery is a few weeks off and you are striking out totally with what you have now, then&nbsp;yes, you could get some new items, again, capsule thinking, to have a few flop-proof outfits.</p> <p>To&nbsp; me it IS like the maternity-wear &nbsp;approach that I liked best--don't have zillions of cheap maternity clothes for variety; have several great (well, maternity-great!), comfortable&nbsp; items and wear just those (at each stage).</p> <p>Variety is often the enemy of the fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638178 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 23:26:46 +0000 Anonymous 1638178@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Angie offered unbelievably good advice. &nbsp;I will personally remember that advice for myself. &nbsp;</p> <p>Best wishes to you. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638158 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 22:39:44 +0000 Angie 1638158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, I'll suggest the closet edit. Pass on the items you seldom wear and box the stuff you love, but does not fit.&nbsp;</p> <p>When is the operation? You will need SOME seasonal refreshing to tide you over because we always dress the body we have right now. Keep it extra comfortable and roomy on the midsection till you've recovered. Throw in really good shoes and fun toppers.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638151 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 22:11:50 +0000 Jenava 1638151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have not had time to read all the other thoughts, but here are mine. &nbsp;Firstly, I'm sorry you're going through this. &nbsp;I know how frustrating not being the size you are in your head can be, and to have it that way through medical woes must be incredibly frustrating. &nbsp;For me, it's my own struggle with getting enough sleep (the baby!) and fitting in time to move regularly (work!) along with depression (genetics!) and sometimes all the excuses and reasons just really get me down because I feel like I should be able to control my body size and I obviously am not doing so well at that...</p> <p>Anywho...on to what to do. &nbsp;I would shop for a few well placed items that make other things in your closet work better and are comfortable for you (I would say "make you feel great" but that might be asking a lot at this point?). &nbsp;Don't go overboard, but this could give you a little boost. &nbsp;If you haven't already, definitely store the non-wearable stuff outside of your main closet space and just don't even think about it for the time being.</p> <p>xo, best of luck. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638149 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:59:58 +0000 catgirl 1638149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much wisdom!&nbsp; Gosh, I love you guys. :)&nbsp; And coincidentally two of my best friends called for me to meet them to go shoe and makeup shopping this afternoon.&nbsp; Sounds just&nbsp;like what the YLF doctors ordered! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638141 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:33:35 +0000 SandyG 1638141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You say you're 'in flux' due to the pending-but-undated operation, and experienced the circus that is Vegas -- of course you want some changes in your life, like right now! A trip can crystalize thoughts that we didn't even know were emerging until we return home and take a fresh look at our closet. Try to stay serene about your surgery and don't let clothes make you crazy. Fashion can be quite unforgiving for those of us with health issues; don't let it play with your head.</p> <p>I've had a similar problem and a 4" goose egg poking through my abdominal wall. It hurt constantly. Nothing fit. I had to compromise and size up a few items so I could feel in charge of my wildly-growing middle. I bought loose shorts (summertime), 2 pair of stretchy cropped pants and second-hand black skinny pants for evening and travel. Minimal but it got me through the diagnosis, surgery and recovery period. It sidesteps purging your whole closet when you're all stirred up and waiting. Hope you get good news soon.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638138 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:18:05 +0000 Sal 1638138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have had good advice. If you are getting annoyed by the clothes that you can't wear, put them in a box in a spare spot out of the way, wear what you have and if you feel like treats, shoes are always fun! Or jewelry or movies and dinners out.</p> <p>The unknown is hard- and uncomfortable obviously.</p> <p>Rachy- sorry about your foot too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638137 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:12:46 +0000 CocoLion 1638137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just replied in your other thread. &nbsp;This is the first I'm learning of your situation. &nbsp;I'm so sorry! &nbsp;Anyway here's my thinking.</p> <p>1) &nbsp;Don't purge high quality things. &nbsp;Put them in a holding zone if necessary. &nbsp;(E.g. Equipment blouses, Theory suits, premium denim etc.)</p> <p>2) Purge fast fashion pieces if you feel your closet is over-stuffed.</p> <p>3) &nbsp;Pull out your softest most forgiving clothing (with easy waistbands etc) and wear those for a few months. &nbsp;Purchase new things in this category (stretchy and soft) if necessary but don't spend too much. &nbsp;Even expensive knitwear shows sign of wear as we all know.</p> <p>4) Yes to the accessory treat. &nbsp;(My two new additions this year are a saddle bag from Vince and slip on loafers, both matching in soft grey.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638131 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:02:43 +0000 deb 1638131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I have been in situations like this I just hung on until I got my body fixed. I always had surgery done as soon as possible because I knew if I waited depression would set in and make things worse. I also found I was no help to others because I felt so bad, both physically and mentally. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638129 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 20:58:16 +0000 Gigi 1638129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I can't shop for whatever reason, I like to focus on other beauty-related things. Maybe spend some extra time on manicures and pedicures? Maybe get a makeup consultation and find some new colors to add to your makeup palette? This coupled with shopping for accessories might help you get through this rough patch. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638126 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 20:49:00 +0000 Momo 1638126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry I think focusing on accessories is a great idea. I find I do that bc my body is so hard to fit. Accessories always fit and you can make a lot of new looks with old basics. You have many wonderful clothes already maybe put the one that fit into a section of your closet and then jazz them up with some fun stuff !</p> <p>I am sorry about you foot too Rachy! I remember you posting about the pink crocs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stuck-in-a-moment-and-you-cant-get-out-of-it#post-1638120 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 20:40:45 +0000 BrieN 1638120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would hold off on making any major changes to your wardrobe until you feel like you're back on your game. </p>