https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:22:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2034056 Mon, 10 Jun 2019 20:37:02 +0000 Freckles 2034056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think all mom's or stepmom's feel slighted about something or other at all weddings.<br />Not knowing the particulars I would say it was due to the alcoholic mother and not wanting a lot of drama at the wedding.<br />It might be nice for you to catch a ride to the wedding with another family member to make the day more enjoyable.&nbsp; No need to go into details just say this is how you're doing things and thought it would be a lot of fun to catch a ride with them to&nbsp; the wedding if it was okay.<br />As I learnt last year when my son got married a lot of people put major demands on the bride and groom to have things done their way whether it be a mother, grandmother or someone else.&nbsp; I'm not sure if this is how you relate to your&nbsp; stepdaughter but maybe take her for a special high tea or salon treatment or spa day for the two of you to have some special time within the wedding theme.<br />We didn't have any issues with our son or his wife but we still had a special dinner at home just the three of us before they got married.&nbsp; It was lovely.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2028972 Mon, 20 May 2019 20:30:52 +0000 Janet 2028972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I would let it roll off your back and enjoy the day for what it is. All families are different, and nearly all weddings have some degree of drama. Relax and enjoy, knowing that you don't have any obligations other than being there and having a good time.&nbsp;</p> <p>(My youngest stepson got married two summers ago, and I'm friendly with his mom, so no issues with us at the wedding or in general, thankfully! Stepson and his wife asked me to do a reading for the ceremony, which was a huge honor and pleasure, but we're really close -- I've known the boys since they were 6 and 8, so I helped raise them. Like I said, all families are different!)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2025157 Tue, 07 May 2019 06:32:42 +0000 Gretchen 2025157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree on the idea of having your own one-off pictures. You might also ask if there are others who are not in the “official” pictures who would appreciate one. In my wedding we completely missed one set of grandparents...and I didn’t realize it until the proofs came back. Was very grateful for some candids, but would loved to have someone looking out for “the rest of the family” for pictures. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024876 Mon, 06 May 2019 00:50:01 +0000 Style Fan 2024876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good plan to let it go. I just go with the flow and skip the drama. And there is a lot of drama in my husband's ex-wife's life. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024792 Sun, 05 May 2019 20:51:54 +0000 Glory 2024792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like and agree with your approach to let it go. It is such a tricky road these weddings. She will appreciate your support. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024621 Sun, 05 May 2019 12:10:46 +0000 Anonymous 2024621@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Lar101, and also, the bride may be worrying about having conflict on her wedding day-or it could have been her mom's idea too.<br /> As far as pics, there will be Tons taken-before, during and after! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024612 Sun, 05 May 2019 11:40:56 +0000 Sally B 2024612@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmmm... lots of interesting viewpoints here. I think I will take my camera and get some photos at the reception of the bride and groom with us. Sometimes these shots are better than formal ones anyway. I am going to let it go. I'll probably host a small lunch for her before the big day and just be nice. There's been so much drama in the past with her vitriolic mother that I am over it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024605 Sun, 05 May 2019 11:13:00 +0000 Bijou 2024605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I would enjoy being off the hook as for your husband, it will be a long day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024601 Sun, 05 May 2019 10:16:49 +0000 LAR101 2024601@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People tend to be thoughtless rather than intentionally mean.<br /> Some part of this poor child might not have fully recovered from her parents marriage. Try to be compassionate with the bride. From that place you might be able to ask for what you want. (Not from the being slighted place)</p> <p>Think about what you want from a loving place and you might be able to ask. You and your husband might want photos of yourselves with the bride, bride &amp; groom, bride &amp; her siblings, etc. that you can display in your own home.<br /> Discuss this with your husband first. Note that it’s usually best for each partner to deal with his or her own family and offer to pay for the extra photos .<br /> You or he will want to keep the tone of ‘we have a loving relationship with you also’ and want photos. </p> <p>The bride herself may come to appreciate these different combinations of photos. </p> <p>For her, the childhood song runs through my head: ‘/Make new friends/But keep the old/One is silver/And the other gold/‘. </p> <p>If this doesn’t work out, I would discuss with my husband the feasibility of planning to come back to to retrieve you so you could enter together. Again this is you asking for what you want, but this time from your husband. Hopefully he is not a toad and will instantly ‘get it’ and work out it out with his daughter. </p> <p>And finally, you may get to sit for hours making polite small talk while photos are taken, wishing you hadn’t said anything. But whatever outcome you will have found your voice and loving center, and that is useful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024580 Sun, 05 May 2019 04:35:38 +0000 Barbara Diane 2024580@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would suggest either enjoying your alone time or figuring out who (someone not in the photos) you would most enjoy spending extra time with. Make arrangements with them ahead of time, and if so inclined, let them know that you'd really like company.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024552 Sun, 05 May 2019 01:27:36 +0000 Sally B 2024552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha thanks everyone! Feel better now. It will be a good day. I must remember that my husband and I got married last year and as it was his third marriage, we decided to only have our children and their partners attend. We got into trouble over that one by not inviting guests although they were all happy to attend a free party at a venue with drinks, fine wine and food provided! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024527 Sat, 04 May 2019 22:53:48 +0000 Style Fan 2024527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not sure what normal. My husband's children included me in everything. I have been to every event including exwife's parents 60th wedding anniversary. I go to it all. I would love to be left out. Please. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024504 Sat, 04 May 2019 19:38:03 +0000 rachylou 2024504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh wait... one more... my friend’s poor groom... they forgot about him... he didn’t even know where to stand during the ceremony... everyone is so lucky they have me... haha! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024502 Sat, 04 May 2019 19:31:06 +0000 rachylou 2024502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That’s the spirit! i forgot about my one cousin’s wedding, no one was invited to the ceremony! Not even my grandmother! We only got a reception. She didn’t marry well enough, you see... And then let’s not forget christenings! My one other cousin told me about one of his children, asked me to be godmother... I thought it was his first... only for me to find out later he had six others!</p> <p>Lolol. Wait! And then there was this guy who didn’t drink alcohol yet collected wine and decided he’d serve some of his collection up for his wedding...</p> <p>The photo sessions will be long and boring. They may think they’re doing you a favour...</p> <p>Oh and wait! Let’s not forget about funerals... where my uncle’s friend tried to make ME TAKE PHOTOS at MY GRANDMOTHER’s FUNERAL. </p> <p>OMG. Lol. At the moments of the highest decorum, people lose it. Makes for good stories tho. I love it, these ceremonial occasions. I always have a good time. So entertaining all the faux pas </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024498 Sat, 04 May 2019 18:49:08 +0000 Echo 2024498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While I don't have any first-hand experience with this, I have to give credit to both her mum and dad in this scenario. Despite past issues, they are willing to smile and play nice for one day so that their daughter can have the wedding and the pictures she wants. Kudos to you, too. I don't know whether this is normal or usual, but it is what the bride wants. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024483 Sat, 04 May 2019 15:36:37 +0000 Sally B 2024483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh dear! I guess most families have some kind of drama with weddings. I'll dress up, look fab and turn up with other family guests and enjoy a few champers! At the moment it's feeling a bit raw but I'll move forward. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024465 Sat, 04 May 2019 14:39:44 +0000 rachylou 2024465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wouldn’t worry about it. Gosh, as maid of honour to one of my oldest childhood friends, I wasn’t invited to the dinner the night before. And in fact, I spent the time doing the wedding favours! I was a slave! Didn’t even get fed! My mother wasn’t invited to the wedding! I’d certainly remember HER mother, who has looked after me like my own. Lol. Whatever. Not my family. And the groom’s family is a piece of work anyways. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/stepmum-of-the-bride#post-2024440 Sat, 04 May 2019 11:53:12 +0000 Sally B 2024440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am stepmum to the bride. I found out today that my husband will be going to the wedding venue with the bridal party and his ex wife to do photos etc before the wedding in the late morning and he will stay at the venue till the ceremony at 3pm. I will have to find my own way with other guests to the venue. I feel a bit slighted that I am not being asked to join in for the formal photos at any stage. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. I am trying not to take it personally but I need to know this is normal otherwise I will get upset. My husband is not on speaking terms with his ex wife and Ii don't talk to her either as we have had many issues with her in the past due to her alcoholism. I don't want to make it about me as it is my stepdaughter's day with her husband and I get on well with my stepdaughter. I just don't understand why it has to be for such a big amount of time. I would have thought we would to to the venue together. Anyway, am I being paranoid? Thoughts please? </p>