https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 16 May 2026 18:25:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410790 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 04:58:21 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1410790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, yup, managing loved ones' awareness of / reaction to your past bad habits can be tricky too. Not only do you have to deal with your own behavior patterns, you also have to worry about how you behave looks to other people. Exhausting! </p> <p>I didn't even open Suz's thread about food and wardrobe building because I knew it would be triggering for me. I've not had serious issues with overspending but I definitely have had issues with overeating, and like wearing clothes, you've got to eat sometime. It would be a lot more straightforward, if it was like drug abuse and we could just stop eating and getting dressed and stop worrying about it... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410756 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 03:03:48 +0000 Jaime 1410756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First of all Lisa, your insights are fascinating and inspiring. Yesterday I pulled out all the jeans and pants I could find, tried them on, and told myself if I wouldn't be comfortable wearing them tomorrow they are out. Liberating! Thank you!</p> <p>Secondly, regarding the article linked above, I feel compelled to point out, that, as with very many of these articles, it ends with the promise of a shopping list. Minimalism is apparently&nbsp;the new shopping.</p> <p>Finally, I agree strongly with Laura above that the general disdain for clothing and dressing as a hobby, creative expression, social bonding and&nbsp;source of fun is messed up and probably has misogynistic roots. Because being a fanatic football fan (for example)&nbsp;looks pretty uninteresting and useless&nbsp;to me, but I don't begrudge anyone their games, at least until they start trampling each other.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410720 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 01:06:52 +0000 Dimity 1410720@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"...<span><i>it has been drilled into me since I was a teenager that thinking about clothes, reading magazines, buying and especially TALKING about clothes is silly, bad, vain, and represents the worst of my behaviour and personality..."<br /></i><br />I understand about this. We were raised with the belief&nbsp;that more than a cursory glance in the mirror was vain&nbsp;and clothes were&nbsp;simply&nbsp;for modesty and warmth.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have always questioned this. I love clothes. I love what they say about people and how they speak for the wearer. I'm fascinated by&nbsp;how they reflect what's going on in the wider realm of culture. Things like shoulder pads during WWII because women needed to take over (traditionally) men's work and they needed to portray an air of assurance and strength. Or how in the 1960s the clothes&nbsp;reflected the wider trends in society to question traditional values.</p> <p>I'm in academia, and it seems terribly frivolous to think about this stuff in some schools. There is a culture of nonchalance and feigned disinterest&nbsp;towards these things.&nbsp;</p> <p>However, there is now a serious academic study of clothing in fields connected to material culture and art history. So when people say how frivolous clothes are or how we should be focussed on 'higher' things, I like to quote some study that relates how clothes are an important part of our culture. Some good ones include a study on denim by Daniel Miller at the University College London, and his work on culture in Trinidad is also enlightening. Depending on who you're with, they'll think you're a nut job or be quite interested in a theoretical perspective.</p> <p>Anyway, all this to say that there is academic evidence that shows that an interest in clothes demonstrates a strong connection to culture and community.</p> <p></span> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410686 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 23:36:14 +0000 Anonymous 1410686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>laura -&nbsp;</b>you're absolutely right. Without getting into too much detail and thus disclosing myself for being even worse/less/whatever than I am revealing now - my obsession with looking and feeling perfect manifested itself through shopping and spending money over the years&nbsp;- a LOT of it. This caused a lot of trouble in my life, and in my relationships with family. &nbsp;I have never tried to hide my failings&nbsp;, and absolutely accept ALL responsibility for not dealing with issues in another less costly way&nbsp;, but that's why it is a bone of contention for those around me. Kind of like an alcoholic saying they can have a drink every now and then. &nbsp;But obviously one has to clothe themselves..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410575 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:21:04 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1410575@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa - just wanted to comment re perfectionism: I don't remember anyone in particular telling me I wasn't good enough, but I've been worried about it my whole life. Who knows where we get some of our tendencies and fears? But we can learn to recognize our own tendencies and create new behavior patterns. (And as soon as we do, we realize more things we need to work on, and the cycle continues...)</p> <p>As far as the frivolity of fashion: I don't see many people running around constantly saying fly fishing or drag racing (to pick two hobbies out of thin air) are silly and don't add materially to civilization, although one could make the argument. I think a lot of the anti-fashion stuff, which I also have struggled with in the past, is very gendered and arguably misogynistic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410546 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 20:42:49 +0000 Angie 1410546@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Got it. Your priorities make sense.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410544 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 20:34:05 +0000 Anonymous 1410544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you ,&nbsp;<b>Angie.&nbsp;</b> Not a priority in that I do have a couple of pair I can wear - they aren't perfect, but they'll do for now. My upcoming travel and trade show work in February in Toronto requires being really well dressed and with comfortable shoes ( 8+ hours on my feet at the showroom) . That's where my money will go . &nbsp;I wear jeans less in the dead of winter anyways - switching over to ponte pants and skirts. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410484 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:48:19 +0000 Angie 1410484@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*applause*</p> <p>You have no idea how thrilled I am that you did this <b>properly, </b>Lisa. No short-cuts this time. It's the only way to do it if you want accurate results.&nbsp;Your epiphanies are wonderful and very meaningful. Something you can effectively build on.&nbsp;</p> <p>Not sure I agree that jeans are not a priority though - unless you found a few pairs that fit and you're happy with&nbsp;after the closet review.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410432 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 16:58:24 +0000 Alassë 1410432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Btw, I like your new profile pic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410426 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 16:48:50 +0000 Anonymous 1410426@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>peri, dimity, torontogirl -&nbsp;</b>wow, thank you so much for your comments! &nbsp;I had no idea anyone would really read this stuff let alone relate to it. &nbsp;I find that by writing (I'm known among my Facebook friends for carrying on from time to time &nbsp;) things crystallize for me and I do love to do it. &nbsp;</p> <p>It's not like I'm a fashion neophyte who has no idea what they like or what looks good, and it's not like I haven't thought about a lot of this stuff over the years, but it has been drilled into me since I was a teenager that thinking about clothes, reading magazines, buying&nbsp;&nbsp;and especially TALKING about clothes is silly, bad, &nbsp;vain, and represents the worst of my behaviour and personality. &nbsp;It's been very difficult to feel ok about musing like this without feeling I'm&nbsp;&nbsp;bringing myself down to the level of Housewives of Canada or some crappy reality show:)</p> <p>Anyways - I appreciate <b>all</b> of your interest and feedback&nbsp;so much! &nbsp;I'm hoping what this will do is now let me enjoy what other people are wearing without feeling I want to buy it too &nbsp;-&nbsp;perfect example is the plaid KUT jeans everyone bought this fall. . &nbsp;I'm not going to wear them - I know it. &nbsp;I love them , but not for me. &nbsp;Had they been readily available in Canada I bet I would have bought them a couple of months ago when I felt that I was missing something critical. &nbsp;They would have necessitated new booties, new coloured tops, and a new coat that worked overtop. &nbsp;What? For one pair of jeans? &nbsp;</p> <p>Again, I'm looking to go deep (with quality) for my day to day clothing&nbsp;&nbsp;, not wide now. &nbsp;And I'm looking forward to it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410374 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 15:34:53 +0000 Helena 1410374@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I am so enjoying your posts and hope you will continue to share your journey. I related especially to your point about seeking perfection, or for me it may be more perfect definition, meaning the "right" answer to what I should wear ( which of course doesn't exist). You are doing amazing and can't wait to read more about your next steps! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410348 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 14:27:37 +0000 Sveta 1410348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>&lt;applause&gt; You are doing so well, Lisa! Knowing yourself is the most important thing (and not just for the style and dressing). It gives you a tremendous sense of power and control over your life, don't you think?</p> <p>I am also in a process of finding what is my<b> happy</b> closet space - having enough to give me variety I crave but no too much so I feel overwhelmed and my closet overflows.&nbsp;<br />I think I am also a slow learner (high five Suz!). Only now after being on YLF for over 4 years it slowly dawns on me how valuable the building wardrobe in capsules can be. Sure I read all Angie's wonderful posts on it but it never clicked in place until earlier this year when I discovered that packing for a business trip was a torture - hence I need a <b>"business travel" capsule.&nbsp;</b>How did it not occur to me earlier I don't know.<br />Now my new dance hobby uncovered a new capsule need too. I am sure there are more but I need to take them one at a time!<br />Please bring these musings on - they are so inspirational!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece/page/2#post-1410282 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:55:29 +0000 Dimity 1410282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Deborah, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And yes, I'll try to remember to put it in when the Links post comes up. I'm fascinated by these sorts of mood switches in our culture. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410280 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:42:44 +0000 Deborah 1410280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dimity I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed that article and how much I related to it. Can I encourage you to submit it to Inge for her "Links" if you haven't already. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410277 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:23:45 +0000 Dimity 1410277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have you seen this article on how having a small, well thought out wardrobe is the new luxury? I felt there were some synergies with what you were saying.</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.fashionising.com/clothing/b--curated-wardrobe-6616.html">http://www.fashionising.com/cl.....-6616.html</a></p> <p>Here's a little quote: 'The new luxury is now to be able to live and thrive with a small, pleasurable wardrobe.'</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410243 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 05:50:42 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1410243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, there is great clarity in this post. I'm glad to hear you are enjoying your cleared-out closet and have some strong ideas of where you're headed. Nicely done! I'm just looking on in admiration. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410195 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 03:45:08 +0000 Peri 1410195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Lisa, I so could have written that! (If I was as eloquent as you.)&nbsp;I don't know if our styles are alike but our style needs are very alike.</p> <p>I too have done lots of repeat buying looking for the perfect thing. For me it has been black pants.&nbsp;Well, I'm not sure that is the worst crime really, for any of us. We need to put clothes on, so at some point we buy something. As we wear it and get to know it, and the honeymoon period closes, we find out what its pluses and minuses are...if it isn't so great, what is wrong with trying to do better? If it is a daily need kind of thing, that is. I don't think it is so joyful to have to put up with those items that have more minuses than we first thought, just because we bought them and so are not allowed to buy a replacement for them. Now, rarely worn items, different story. I don't need to search for perfection in LBDs for instance.</p> <p>And just like you, I have the kind of job where I'm always seeing different people everyday. Theoretically I could get by on 5 sweaters for an entire winter...if I keep track, for each day the people I see would think I go 5 weeks&nbsp;before repeating and 5 weeks worth of outfits would be thought of as a lot! But for me...well, I want 10 sweaters. But I do very happily wear the things I love over and over again. I actually get sad if I don't get to wear things often enough.&nbsp;</p> <p>But, just like you, I worry if I buy too enthusiastically, will I be tossing those things 3 years from now. I sure held on to things for ages in the past (20 year old sweaters!) but I don't want to let myself get so dated anymore. So 3 years from now will I be wondering why I don't have anything that isn't long and loose?</p> <p>Here is what I want to remember: that just like it is better to let go of obsessing over finding the perfect black pants, it is also better to let go of obsessing over building the perfect wardrobe. It is just too hard to predict and too hard to shop for. For me, the mantra of having fun with fashion also needs to&nbsp;include trying to worry less about making mistakes.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410135 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 00:53:38 +0000 Anonymous 1410135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So impressed that after a short period of time you've been able to come to some idea of what you want for your wardrobe and what items you can specifically use to augment what you have. In terms of the comment that you can't believe that it has taken you this long to figure out what you wanted and needed personally in terms of a wardrobe, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone - I&nbsp;think this is true for a lot of people. It's certainly been true for me.<br />I don't know how many articles I've read about the ten clothing items that everyone needs in their wardrobe; or roundups of the latest trends; or pictures of&nbsp;the 8 item mix and match wardrobe. What was missing for me was how to apply all of these things to me personally. And understanding what&nbsp;was more likely to work for me not only physically, but in terms of my needs and how much variety I want and need in my wardrobe. I appreciate Angie and the YLF forum because not only is there the base information for all those things and more, but also a focus on how to apply them personally - something I haven't seen in too many other places and something that's been a tremendous help to me in this last year as I've been building my wardrobe. Congrats on your progress!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410120 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 00:13:47 +0000 Anonymous 1410120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great, great posts, lisap. &nbsp;I followed along step-by-step. &nbsp;I learned so much from your experience. &nbsp;Thanks for taking me along. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410113 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 00:02:24 +0000 Aida 1410113@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa thank you for sharing your thoughts during this process, I think it really does help both you and us! A few thoughts I had while reading through your post: <ul> <li>If you like the sparsity that your closet currently has, consider having a limited number of hangers; once the hangers are full, then it's a strict one-in-one-out policy. I find this incredibly useful in managing my own closet, and I'm no minimalist.</li> <li>The other is to keep a version of the "non perfect" items that you still wear, particularly those glue items, so that your wardrobe is still functional while you search for the "perfect" item.</li> <li>And along those lines, <i>if </i> you do go the trendy route my suggestion is to have high standards but not necessarily to the point of perfection; these are, after all, items that you will likely play with for 1-3 years. If, however, you find that you are wearing it a LOT and want to incorporate as part of your core style, <i>then</i> start looking for the perfect option while the items are still around.</li> </ul> Personally, I'm working on that second one. I have a lot of "almosts" that I need to determine whether to purge/sell or keep <i>but</i> with the intent of upgrading. As someone who is just terrible at actually purging, I find that balance a bit difficult. But, of course, entirely necessary. Sometime this winter I hope to do what you have, to pull everything out (literally) of the closet and assess one item at a time just what deserves to go back in. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410107 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 23:30:15 +0000 Alassë 1410107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You're quite welcome! I always enjoy reading people's wardrobe thoughts/ realizations. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410095 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 23:03:39 +0000 Suz 1410095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I think it's possible that my desire for variety is temporary. Even three years into this YLF thing,&nbsp;I am still&nbsp;<b>defining</b> vs. <b>refining </b>my style. (Embarrassed gulp. Clearly I am a slow learner). &nbsp;But this is only a hunch.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think of you as someone who already has a very clear sense of your style, of what you like, and even what works for you. You may not always find the "perfect" version (oh holy grail) -- but you know on some deep level&nbsp;what you're looking for.</p> <p>I suspect I'm still in an earlier phase, in the sense that I don't even know which thing I need a perfect version of! Well, beyond the obvious, that is -- a decent pair of boots, a coat, a jacket, some pants.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm getting a lot closer, though, and as I see my budget for clothes plummeting this year, I'm going to do a lot more weeding out and editing than I do adding. It should be interesting to see where I wind up.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway -- I totally get the point about being overwhelmed. For all my current variety, I keep a tidy closet. As much as I have now (and I am so grateful to have it!!)&nbsp;it's not enough to crowd the space. Things don't touch (well, except on shelves, if they are folded) and I can see everything clearly; it's organized by colour and type, and it's easy on the eyes. This is really important to me, too -- I hate mess and disorder and it makes me feel overstimulated. I also have trouble in big noisy stores.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you for sharing these very thought provoking threads. I hope you can see how your willingness to share has helped so many of the rest of us come to new realizations about our own process. That's a real gift.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410075 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 22:34:27 +0000 shiny 1410075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love your analysis as it helps me clarify my own habits and preferences. Lisa, you made me realize a couple of things:</p> <p>I also do the "search for the perfect ___." Case in point, &nbsp;my perpetual search for perfect tall boots and perfect black leather jacket. However I do own tall boots and I have two pleather jackets that fill in the same role in the meantime, and have resisted buying additional "good enough" items.&nbsp;</p> <p>Once I do find the "perfect ___" I am very apt to duplicate. Example: AG skinny jeans. I have two pairs, in two different sizes, which comes in handy for weight fluctuations (lately the larger size is getting lots of wear and I gotta say I am VERY glad I duplicated when I did!). But duplication doesn't always pay off -- I have duplicated items and then not worn the second&nbsp;as often as I thought I would.&nbsp;</p> <p>When it comes to variety, it's less about having a variety of silhouettes, or even colors. A penny dropped for me reading your post... and it is related to perfection, but in a different way: I realized I have this need to ... "be ready." I am perpetually filling holes for outfits I can wear "just in case" I all of a sudden&nbsp;have a social occasion to do so. I've got the basics covered -- funeral outfit, check. Job interview, check. Gala event, check. Travel outfit, check. Weekend casual, check.&nbsp;I am talking more about the variations within those categories. Easy example - it's not enough "creative black tie" vs "formal black tie" or "travel to europe in the winter for vacation" vs "travel to Dallas for work in the winter." That is what I put wayyyy too many brain &amp; shopping cells into... and where my shopping $ and closet expands the most. </p> <p>I dunno... .it's weird but as an example, yesterday we had a last-minute opportunity to go to NYC today for an overnight (it didn't pan out) but I found myself calculating "do I have clothes to pack for this"... the answer was &nbsp;yes, and I'm glad for that... but I guess I'm saying that this is a huge part of my spending/wardrobe-collecting behavior. There was a pause when I contemplated this question and it did occur to me that I've filled my closet lately with clothes I can wear in southeast/warmer winter climes since that is where my business travel takes me the most. I almost panicked thinking... NYC in December... ? I *did* have clothes but I found myself thinking... "what if it was a full week not a weekend... then I'd need this, and that, and the other thing... "</p> <p>THAT is how I get into trouble!!!</p> <p>There must be some childhood psychological trauma related to this and still operating. LOL.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410068 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 22:28:21 +0000 Staysfit 1410068@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I knew you would sort things out, and congratulations for doing it so quickly. It seems you know yourself well and have been so open about how emotionally difficult this process can be! The closet purge seems to help clarify things doesn't it? Patterns become clear. Favorites stand out? Your process was very much like mine so I can well appreciate what you have done. I know I am still working out some small details, but I have learned so much about myself. I have never felt happier with what I am wearing or what I have in my closet. I hope you will also achieve this result. Many thanks for sharing your journey with us! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410060 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 22:12:50 +0000 Caro in Oz 1410060@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Exactly what <b>thimblelina </b>said :)</p> <p>&amp; said with masses of kindness -&nbsp;we can change our brains you know :)</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/when-you-dont-like-what-you-see-in-the-mirror">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....the-mirror</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410038 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:37:29 +0000 Deborah 1410038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I am so excited for you! Brilliant revelations. 4 years ago I was in the exact same cycle as yourself. Buying the same thing over and over but none the perfect one and no money to buy truly fab pieces. A wardrobe choc-a-block of stuff:). Your revelations almost mirror mine, with the exception of black. But you know the direction I went in with colour:). I would suggest that you are well and truly on your journey to a wardrobe that you will love and will serve you well. You will be able to get dressed, forget about what your wearing and get on with your day. You may still make the odd purchasing mistake (I did) but don't beat up on yourself if and when you do...it's a process. And I know how hard it is to break through some of the things we have been told about ourselves, but you ARE good enough, in fact MORE than good enough and I very happy offer you a gentle reminder of that every now and again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410032 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:22:23 +0000 Sal 1410032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting reading, thanks for sharing.</p> <p>Sometimes you have to hit a low place to have these revelations- it is exhausting but it allows you to move on.</p> <p>I have also had a couple of revelations ( non clothing related) in the last week, about my ability to cope with stress and inability to say no at times. I hope this will allow me to move forward more positively.</p> <p>I also like the sounds of the pieces you have identified. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410029 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:17:24 +0000 Anonymous 1410029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Suz -&nbsp;</b>it's interesting to me that we share similar taste in clothes, like many of the same looks, colours etc, have a somewhat similar lifestyle and live in similar climates - BUT we don't share the same wardrobe ideology. &nbsp;Not sure what, if anything , that means, but it is interesting nonetheless. </p> <p>&nbsp;If I know one thing, I KNOW that I do not want many pairs of shoes, many pairs of jeans , whatever it is, because I just WILL NOT wear all of them. &nbsp;You made a comment the other day about being overwhelmed with big stores with lots of merchandise (I think we were talking about grocery shopping ) and you're SO right. &nbsp;I cannot deal with lots of choices. I want a few looks merchandised and presented to me on a rack in a clean, spare and quiet store. &nbsp;It's why I can't function in a Winners, or Marshalls, or even a Target. &nbsp;I get sensory overload everywhere and all the time - from people, noises, smells, ideas, tastes, everything. &nbsp;Ok, I'm a weirdo. Messes and piles of things undo me. If I were to open my closet and find different prints and colours, I'd be frustrated. &nbsp;What I find interesting is that none of this gelled nor came together until a few days ago. &nbsp; One would expect to know oneself a little better after 53 years of getting dressed &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410023 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:07:09 +0000 Anonymous 1410023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>jackie, elizabeth -&nbsp;</b>I'm glad I'm not the only one buying the same thing again and again in the pursuit of perfection. Jackie, I do it with denim too, but I'm just not talking about jeans right now . &nbsp;Too sensitive a subject &nbsp;</p> <p><b>thimbelina -&nbsp;</b>thanks for reiterating my thoughts in a different way - and a valuable one. You are so right.</p> <p><b>alaskagirl -&nbsp;</b>same success here with boots, coats and bags - I wear them all and rarely seem to make the wrong choices - thank god ; also have been guilty of having multiples of that thing you can't live without and a few years later you're wondering what that was all about : &nbsp;eg. &nbsp;asymmetric&nbsp;hem sweaters ; A Wang knock-off peplumed sweaters, (if one is good, two must be better - NOT) the list goes on</p> <p>&nbsp;<b>Laura -&nbsp;</b>I wish I could argue with you about perfection being the downfall of mankind, but I can't. You're right. (I'm wildy paraphrasing but...) &nbsp; It pervades every aspect of my life. Always looking for the right thing and never finding it. &nbsp;Someone somewhere told me I wasn't good enough and it's never left my brain. &nbsp;</p> <p><b>meredith, susie, deb -&nbsp;</b>thanks for going along with me and reading all of this blather - I do appreciate it :)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/step-2-fine-tuning-what-remains-and-thinking-about-variety-vs-the-perfect-piece#post-1410015 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:54:16 +0000 jackiec 1410015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay Lisa!!! Well done! I am so happy to hear your revelations. Thank you for letting us come along for the ride. It's a vulnerable place to be, and kudos to you for putting yourself out there like that. I, too, am guilty of striving for that perfect piece. In my case it's always denim. About 3 years ago it was my goal to find the perfect pair of dark, low contrast stitched denim. Well wouldn't you know but I must have purchased 6 pair of denim that season in search of the holy grail. I've since dialed it back, but that is my danger zone so I need to keep my eye on myself around denim. I like your conclusions and your goals. &nbsp;Thanks for the update </p>