https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 05 Apr 2026 15:03:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-578128 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:50:12 +0000 Astrid 578128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, that's right! And I do. :)</p> <p>Steph, thank YOU for writing this thoughtful post! I agree that it may take some time and seem a bit daunting, but I guess it'll be worth it. That's a really good point - to not look for one garment that incorporates every aspect but to look at the final outcome instead. Because I have some pieces that aren't boho at all and I love them, but I would probably more comfortable if I would wear them with an outfit that had some boho in a different piece. Seems like I have some more analyzing to do! :)</p> <p>Suz, that's a great way to analyze an outfit! And it really makes sense.</p> <p>Aida, interesting to hear that you succeed with this method too. I love your style and I think it is very coherent. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577997 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 03:06:41 +0000 Aida 577997@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, good point! I do something similar, referencing several sets: I have an overarching style (urban), a few specific style descriptors (euro-chic, punk, retro), and refer to my favorite fashion decades (40s/80s, 70s, 60s). As long as my outfits reflect some combination of these, I'm usually happy </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577988 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:56:37 +0000 Suz 577988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ooh! I love what Steph says here about fitting pieces in a puzzle or a collage. This reminds me of Transcona Shannon's "style rubric." She has determined four key elements of her own style, and instead of labelling her style, per se, she thinks about whether a particular proposed outfit includes something that represents each of her prized elements: structure, colour, urban, vintage. An outfit that doesn't include at least something representing each of these categories won't feel "her" whereas the outfits that do include an element from each category invariably feel more authentic and comfortable to her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577944 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 01:59:49 +0000 mrseccentric 577944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, what a wonderful surprise! Thank you, and thank you Jen, for your kind words. I can't imagine anything more exciting than having a part in a person's style journey!</p> <p>rachylou's idea of 'personality comfort' is spot on. And really, that's why got me so interested in ideas about personal style. I've always been so sensitive to what i wear, ever since i was young. Small differences in styling or color can make or break a garment for me - it was very vexing until i learned how to sort out my own preferences. </p> <p>Especially at first this project can seem so daunting! But it turns out that if you keep with it and follow your heart, you will learn so much about yourself and you'll end up with a truly authentic, individual style as well. It's those preferences that give your style focus.</p> <p>Astrid, like you i enjoy combining opposites; rugged with lacy, stiff with chiffon, etc. As you point out it's incredibly difficult to find individual garments that reflect your exact "style blend". I found out that paying a lot of attention to how to put looks together really helped me find more garments that i could use. Instead of looking and looking for individual items that reflected my style, i was looking for pieces of a puzzle or a collage. You can train your eye to recognize the potential in pieces you wouldn't have considered in the past by analyzing outfits that you like in your inspiration pictures and ones you wear yourself.</p> <p>Good luck and have fun! and Thank you again, steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577893 Mon, 26 Mar 2012 01:06:38 +0000 Angie 577893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, that's why style is a constant journey, without a permanent destination. And most importantly, you have to enjoy the process of the journey </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577766 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 21:40:03 +0000 Astrid 577766@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for speaking up Una! It's good to know that other people can relate to this idea (or my musings).</p> <p>Thanks Beth Ann! I guess it will take some time but I feel like this may be the epiphany I needed most. We'll see what happens!</p> <p>Jen, good to hear that that blog post was as interesting to you than it was to me. I think it really helped me to figure some things out and maybe it will help others too? That would be awesome.</p> <p>Thanks, Sarah! It really isn't easy. I guess it kind of happened to me because my love for boho always ended in horrible frump before YLF and it kind of was forgotten a bit when I threw all those things out. </p> <p>Thanks, Manidipa! You're right, Michelle said it perfectly! It's great to hear that you found your own way when it comes to wearing certain clothes. I get how dressing in a certain silhouette, a 'uniform', is perfect when you found what you're most comfortable in and this idea resonates with me. I do it too to a certain degree because I've never done waist surrendering big time and always love a fit and flare silhouette. I guess for me it's less a certain silhouette that I gave up because of figure flattering priorities but more that the style of some my clothes seem not 'me' (or some do but not in certain combinations).<br /> You wrote<br /> "I think it'll help if you can figure out what exactly are the *discomfort* factors that brought you to the epiphany --- and what you'd have preferred instead"<br /> and I tried to do exactly that. I'm not sure how successful I was but I'll try to write it down and post some pics. It would be great if you all could help me to solve this!</p> <p>Thank you Angie! That makes perfect sense. This differentiation between the look and the feeling is exactly what I was talking about. It's wonderful to have a place like YLF where I can get help to untangle all this.</p> <p>Yes, Suz, I think that would be helpful! But you're so right that one needs to be careful and consider the reasons behind something. The example of me and jeans is really the best one you could give, that's so true!</p> <p>Yes Traci, that's true! And YLF is the best place for that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577381 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:52:28 +0000 Traci 577381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating topic. I think this is the great thing about a community like this. All on one's own it can be nearly impossible to find the line between knowing what you feel good in and honoring that and being a potential candidate for What Not To Wear. Gentle feedback from others is imperative to figuring out when you should push your limits and when you should trust your gut. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-577242 Sun, 25 Mar 2012 03:55:55 +0000 Suz 577242@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it would be a fun and useful exercise to do what Angie's done here, and make an actual list of clothing items/ types that we can look great in...but don't make us feel fab. As well as a list of those items that always do make us feel fab. </p> <p>But even here, each of us would have to be careful to determine if the reason said article never made us feel fab was more to do with the difficulty of finding a well-fitting version of it or with the fact that it just didn't fit our style preferences. I'm thinking of you and jeans, Astrid. If we'd asked you a year ago, you might have said, no jeans; they never make me feel fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576598 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 15:41:46 +0000 Angie 576598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid! This is a very meaningful epiphany. Julie, Rachy and Diana put it so well. You can LOOK great in an outfit, but not FEEL great in it. (Physical comfort issues aside). </p> <p>For example, I can look great in a knitted top - but I feel awful in them. I can look great in a bohemian get up - but want to tear it off my body straight away. Pop me in a buttoned up shirt or simple soft blouse that's strict, polished and crisp - and I start to feel relaxed, as if I can conquer the world :)</p> <p>We can explore this together, Astrid </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576331 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 05:36:58 +0000 Astrid 576331@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to get ready to catch my train so I don't have time to write long answers, I just wanted to say I'll get back to this post later to comment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576299 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 04:16:14 +0000 ManidipaM 576299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, this is a very valuable epiphany! I'm sure it strikes a nerve, a recognition and a reminder for many of us!</p> <p>"Clothes are there to enhance our self-perceptions, not define them." --- what Michelle so eloquently said! Comfort is a lot more than skin-deep, and not always sweatshirt-shaped!</p> <p>I'm also with Una --- I *know* I can dress to resemble a bombshell hourglass if I want, because I have done it in the past and received compliments on the look. But it feels less like me than a smock, a tunic, an A-line dress, a slouchy knit top or drapey blouse. YLF, for me, is about finding ways to look like myself, yet pulled together, It's *easy* to pick up white or blue, plain or striped, crisp and stuff-collared button-downs to pair with my jeans or dressy pencil skirt, because that's what womenswear means in most shops --- and it *is* a quick gateway to 'professional-looking'. But then I fuss all day, because I feel self-conscious and/or incomplete somehow. In the past, I've tried to remedy this with adding scarves or jewellery --- but even that can feel fussy at times. It look some doing (and a lot of nudging!) for me to realize I *can* work the button-down and feel like myself --- provided said button-down is (a) in softer fabric (b) colourful or patterned (c) tailored to fit at waist and then flare, rather than being a straight boxy fit a la menswear. In other words, I've brought my general rules in to supersede or overlay the basic mainstream fashion rules.</p> <p>Done correctly, picking and choosing means no one notices you're ever uncomfortable and thinks you're always stylish. You customize the rules for YOU. I've seen many super-chic women stick to just 2-3 variations of a simple silhouette. Here, there is Meredith who does that a lot, and looks enviably attractive. There's MaryK with her pencil skirt near-uniform that NEVER looks the same day to day. I remember too the *extremely successful* Editor of an international fashion magazine's India edition, who absolutely *turned heads* because she was ALWAYS in a tailored Indian kurta (tunic), churidars or salwars (tight leggings or slouchy pants), a long dupatta (scarf), with her hip-length straight hair a waterfall down her back --- while others around her ran ragged in a different garment each day, trying to look edgier, more with-it, and the very industry she worked in subjected her to immense pressure to dress more experimentally, more 'internationally', less 'traditionally'. You may be still experimenting a little, to find exactly what feels most comfortable, and that's fine. But once you've established your fashion personality 'rules', you'll do SO much better to heed them over the conventional figure flattery.</p> <p>The figure-flattery 'rules' may be one-size-fits-all --- but we don't *have* to wear it in defiance of our own comfort guidelines! It's one thing to stretch your comfort zone --- keeps us growing and accepting of the new --- but quite another to leave it and cross into entirely foreign territory. I think it'll help if you can figure out what exactly are the *discomfort* factors that brought you to the epiphany --- and what you'd have preferred instead. </p> <p>Then add them to the bottom of your shopping list for the future, and you're a step ahead! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576247 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:36:01 +0000 jen 576247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just adding I am a petite skinny, I love surrendering my waist, I hate waist belts (don't know why I bought 'em) I hate button downs (although us Aussies call them button UPS), I fidget every time I wear one, don't buy them anymore. I hate wearing scarves, although I have a cupboard full! with the exception of my beautiful soft loop Paula Bianco scarves, love 'em. Rant over! x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576239 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:08:05 +0000 Sarah A 576239@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, yes yes yes! I know exactly what you mean. It is so hard to evolve your style sometimes, and keep it true to you. I feel like I am not very good at articulating long comments, but I know what you mean and appreciate your thoughts! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576237 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:01:08 +0000 jen 576237@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I seem to be always thanking people for sharing, but I really do appreciate this community. Astrid I just read the blog post you posted and I thought it was so well written and though provoking, certainly made me think. X </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576232 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:51:24 +0000 Beth Ann 576232@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very thoughtful thread. Thanks for starting this, Astrid! I look forward to seeing these thoughts translated into outfits and photos! Good luck on your style journey! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576076 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 22:33:10 +0000 catgirl 576076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am ALL about this philosophy, Astrid. I surrender my waist and wear slouchy oversized clothes all the time, just as I always have. But YLF has given me a better sense of how to do that purposefully, as well as how to dress to flatter more conventionally when the need arises (weddings!)... I fully support you in this approach! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-576027 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:49:33 +0000 Astrid 576027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Michelle. You're right, I won't compromise on my sartorial standards as you so aptly said, because I now know what a difference it makes! And yes, I was talking about comfort in my own skin. It's sometimes hard to find the right words when I write about things that are a bit more complicated in English.<br /> I guess I have the problem that when I see something in the store that fits into my existing wardrobe (and the fit and price are right), I tend to buy it just because of that. I did all this thinking about my style persona and wishes and I still agree with my conclusions, but I guess implementing these ideas I worked out for myself is the problem. When I see pics of things I like online and save them for inspiration I get a fairly clear picture as a whole. But when it comes to buying these things I'm not entirely successful. I think the biggest problem is that I compromise to make the things I already have work and can only make baby steps with my budget. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575990 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:18:24 +0000 Michelle 575990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, I'm sure this epiphany won't in any way compromise your sartorial standards. I assumed,as Julie did, that you were distinguishing between physical comfort on your body and comfort in your own skin. I absolutely sympathize with this. If I cannot picture how a garment looks on my body, then I will spend my time second-guessing it no matter what anyone says. There have been many garments in my shopping adventures that I've left at the store despite the entreaties of others simply because *I* couldn't imagine myself in it. At the end of the day, that's what matters most. Clothes are there to enhance our self-perceptions, not define them. If we're too busy focusing on the individual wardrobe items, we lose site of number one. And, of course, we contravene Angie's fashion rule, and we can't have that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575988 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:15:59 +0000 Astrid 575988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for your input, Meredith! You're much more eloquent than I am.</p> <p>Julie, you're absolutely right. I guess I haven't found that balance yet.</p> <p>Kirti, that's true! Although I don't know if I have it in me to be that patient. I guess I still hope that I can work it all out without spending money on the wrong things. I like to think things over, make plans and lists and ... That's my urge to organize. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575975 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:07:54 +0000 Kirti 575975@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, sometimes when I try to conform to style rules too much or be too creative, I spend the entire day feeling like something is 'off'. I guess this is something that goes away by trial and error! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575968 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:03:44 +0000 RoseandJoan 575968@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Comfortable in your own skin or owning your look are very different from comfort clothing and loving your clothing choices are certainly an important part of developing your personal style. As with life, it is all about the balance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575951 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:54:12 +0000 Meredith1953 575951@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Comfort is absolutely important to feeling confident and happy. How we can feel confident if we are either physically unconfortable or if the look we are wearing doesn't feel true to our inner core? The challenge is to dress in flattering ways that also are comfortable (both physically and emotionally) and also in ways we feel express who we are. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575950 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:51:02 +0000 Astrid 575950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Diana, that's exactly it! Maybe I'm still not buying the right things. Although that's not to say that this is always the case, just often enough to make me aware that the problem is there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575948 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:48:50 +0000 Astrid 575948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachylou, you're right! The "personality compatibility" factor, that's a good paraphrase. When I say I want to be more comfortable I don't intent to go back to shlumpy sweaters and unflattering jeans. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575946 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:46:24 +0000 Diana 575946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Rachy said.<br /> To wit, I feel extremely uncomfortable when I wear certain types of clothes, such as things that are very preppy, buttoned up, or too classic. There is nothing wrong with the fit or comfort of the clothes themselves, but the problem is that I feel like I am wearing someone else's clothes and that makes me hyper-aware of them, in such a way that I fuss and fidget and am uncomfortable all day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575940 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:39:10 +0000 rachylou 575940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's a salient point: comfort isn't just about fit and, like, soft materials. There's also a "personality compatibility" factor. Yesterday, my fashion compass having gone awry, I resorted to a dress-by-numbers deal. I donned a super preppy get up: navy trousers, crew neck sweater, button-down shirt. I felt really dumpy. Today I am being weird again in a red dress and ankle boots, and I feel much more engaged and entertained. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-thoughts-about-my-dressing-habits#post-575900 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 19:54:16 +0000 Astrid 575900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just read Steph's wonderful post about remembering to wear what you love instead of just looking at what's flattering (<a href="http://dashingeccentric.blogspot.de/2012/03/hey-remember-what-you-love.html" rel="nofollow">http://dashingeccentric.blogsp.....-love.html</a>) and I guess I'm guilty of that too! </p> <p>Learning more about dressing to flatter my body was a good thing, I don't want to deny it. I was really insecure about my looks some time ago and discovering how I could look in certain clothes really helped me to gain my confidence back. I feel so much better now!</p> <p>But lately I felt a bit uncomfortable in some of these combinations that I knew looked good. Don't get me wrong - I felt good about the way I looked. But at the same time I never forgot what I was wearing and I somehow missed the way I was just comfortable in the past, when I didn't waste a thought on my clothes. I'm not sure how to put it into words...</p> <p>I guess what I meant to say was that I want to try to pay more attention to comfort from now on. I'll have to think about how that plays into my style persona and the purchases I plan to make. </p>