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YouLookFab Forum » Topic: * https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 11:34:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Isabel on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1174035 Sat, 22 Feb 2014 01:16:00 +0000 Isabel 1174035@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, I am sorry to hear this.  The last three years for me have almost stopped my activity, especially bike riding.  I am soooooo looking forward to it in spring. I had almost no me time because I was so lethargic and sick. Any time or energy I had was used on my family .   I found that I LOVE sitting on an exercise ball.  Sometimes I sit on one at the breakfast or dinner table while I eat or watch tv. .   Don't laugh !  I also did pushups on the ball and sit ups on the ball.  (  I was taught all this at the LiveStrong program I attended. )  It was a huge boost to me.  I tied the excerices rubber bands to a towel rack in the bathroom.  I would brush my teeth and do 15 pulls on each arm.  Then more arm positions as I got better.  You can tie a knot on the band, throw it over a door, shut the door well, and then do pulls in a upside down V.  And yoga or just sitting quietly on the floor by a window when the sun was shining in.  Don't stop looking for something.  ironkurtin on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1172428 Thu, 20 Feb 2014 13:57:25 +0000 ironkurtin 1172428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I know people are advocating meditation as a substitute for exercise but I don't see how sitting still can in any way duplicate moving fast. TraceyLiz65 on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1172118 Thu, 20 Feb 2014 02:50:54 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1172118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ In case anyone is interested my best friend bought me two of this brand new magazine called Live Happy for Christmas and they are a wonderful way to join in a new movement of happiness... <a rel="nofollow" href="http://livehappymagazine.com/relationships/family/ron-howard-keeps-family-life-focus">http://livehappymagazine.com/r.....life-focus</a> deb on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170873 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 23:40:33 +0000 deb 1170873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Do you do yoga? My daughter has found it helps her the most with the stress of a demanding job and two little ones. I understand about the endorphins and miss exercise immensely but it is something I can no longer participate in.  Reading and garden design are my respite now. If I lived in your climate, I would create a room full of houseplants where I could read.  cciele on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170867 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 23:30:56 +0000 cciele 1170867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think the key here is guaranteeing time for yourself. This is particularly hard for working moms! A few things I've noticed being a working mom (and single) and being around other working moms: -Moms tend to put the needs of others ahead of their own. If you are doing that, please make yourself the priority. - Get support from friends and your husband to be able to carve out important time for yourself. - Prioritize and delegate. Your mental health is more important than those dirty dishes getting clean! Who really cares about that laundry getting piled up? - Learn to say "no" without guilt. L'Abeille on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170834 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 22:59:39 +0000 L'Abeille 1170834@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, what you said about those physical activities that have energized you in the past...I know that there is the endorphin aspect with the exercise, but could you also be dealing with a bit of "nature deficit disorder"? (According to my tree-hugger daughter, that is a thing, and I well believe it). When my schedule has been so crazy that I don't even know what season it is from spending so long cooped up inside, the problem is more than just lack of exercise. It seems crazy to suggest that this could be an issue for you, off in the pristine wilderness compared to most of us, but if your regenerating energy comes from being outdoors, a change in schedule that doesn't allow that could hit you really hard. (Maybe this might suggest some solutions to you? I don't have any) I will be watching this thread closely because I have the same struggles! Classically Casual on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170796 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 22:32:08 +0000 Classically Casual 1170796@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It took an embarrassingly long time, but I did finally learn to meditate. I wanted to learn for a variety of reasons, but one of them was to find a replacement for physical exhilaration. Like you, hard exercise has always been my go-to solution for just about everything. And since sooner or later that may not be possible it was impt to have a substitute ready. And as a lover of new experiences, I can honestly say it's amazing what can happen in the silence on one's meditation pillow. JAileen on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170704 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:51:32 +0000 JAileen 1170704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What puts me in a good mood is an outing on the weekend with my husband. Yesterday we were out in the middle of nowhere. Actually, I live in the middle of nowhere, and we drove two hours further towards nowhere, with our dogs, to go birding. We did a fair amount of walking, and lots of looking for birds. Here's a picture I took with my cell phone. I know it looks all brown, but I thought the phrase "purple mountain majesties" really applied here. rachylou on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170554 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:50:32 +0000 rachylou 1170554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You know, I think Angie's suggestion was really smart. I was struck by it at the time, and am struck again. In any case, I will note that the brain apparently functions best while we're walking. When I'm tired, a walk with the dog (and a glass of water) often really perks me up. BUT, you know, the most clear-headed and energetic I've ever been was when I meditated the rosary 15 minutes once a week. It was really that little. You'd think I'd start up again, honestly. Desmo April on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170535 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 18:39:53 +0000 Desmo April 1170535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As others have said there is no real replacement for physical activity. I also need to make sure creativity is taken care of to. I've been taking guitar lessons for awhile and I can't imagine replacing that. Suz on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170328 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 16:32:59 +0000 Suz 1170328@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Nothing energizes me like exercise (and, er, the kind IK mentioned, also), so I do make time for it. As others have said, it helps to schedule it. Just block the time off like you would for an appointment at work and there is no disputing it. I try to ensure that I have 3- 5 booked exercise sessions per week -- whether they be working with a trainer, working on my own with weights, going to yoga, or going to a class. Some weeks I only manage a couple of scheduled sessions, but I do find the scheduling helps. For a while I did get up early for this -- 6:30 am classes twice a week. And I liked that. But my cross fit classes changed the start time to 6 and moved to a more distant location, so I'm sort of out of luck on that for now and have had to adjust to another time slot.  For me, the best balance is 3 to 4 sessions of intense exercise (whatever form - just ensuring there are a couple of sessions of resistance training), along with 2 or 3 days of less intense exercise -- maybe walking or a short jog or yoga or skating with my daughter.  If I start to feel exhausted, I know I need to cut back on the intensity. If I start to feel restless, I know I need to increase it. So I just play it by ear. And always aim to do at least some of my weekly activity outdoors.  Increasingly, I do active stuff with my daughter. We went skating on the Ottawa Canal yesterday; it was amazing! And we sometimes do hikes or workouts in the park. I don't expect she'll want to continue this for too much longer with her mother (she's 14) but you never know, and for now, I am making the most of it, because just as I don't have very many "fashion" friends IRL, I also lack for "fit friends" IRL, sadly.  My creative work is also very important to me. It's not energizing, but it's grounding. It keeps me humble and connected to what matters to me most. I am sad to say that making time for that, now that I am working full time and trying to raise a kid and deal with an older family member who needs care, is really tough. In the hours and spare minutes that I have away from work and other obligations, I tend to come here instead of applying myself to my own projects. Mind you, I love it here, and fashion is creative also. Plus, this place seems to fill a need for community somehow -- I love you guys!!!  But I need to make things out of words. So right now I am in the process of trying to figure out a better balance. I tried the super-early waking for creative work and it did not help me -- I can be active at that hour but not creative. Figuring out a good rhythm given the current exigencies of my life is a work in progress. For now, my occasional retreats are my only solution.  I also love to read, of course. But that sort of goes without saying. Angie on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170278 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:39:05 +0000 Angie 1170278@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I cook and do Flow Yoga. It's my therapy - and there isn't any sweating involved. And of course, I shop for a living which creates ample endorphins.  Although you also don't want to hear this - I AM an early riser and I must have a peaceful morning. I cannot handle rushing around after I've woken up. I must centre my soul and thoughts before the day. It used to be a lot better when we had doggies, and they helped me centre for the day. Now I try to make the most of it in the absence of our girls.  At night, we watch brilliant TV shows, binging episodes at a time from Netflix or Apple TV. It's as important for me to unwind at night with Greg as it is for me to have my peaceful morning.  Una, you're doing a great job and I love your positive attitude here. It sounds like exercise is a necessity, so it might be worthwhile making the time for it a few times a week. Also hope you're feeling better soon. xo  TraceyLiz65 on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170240 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:06:23 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1170240@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ By far starting a Gratitude Journal and doing it daily was my biggest success and I began it after my mother died and other chaos was swirling around me and my daughter was getting ready to head off to college... Almost five years now and i highly recommend it!   Here is a page on my blog with great happiness tools... <a rel="nofollow" href="http://versatilestylebytracey.com/happiness-tools/">http://versatilestylebytracey.com/happiness-tools/</a> modgrl on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170211 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 14:41:05 +0000 modgrl 1170211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I signed up for a 6am boot camp class but it's been snowed out 2 out of the 3 times so far. We are wimps down here! I'm sure AK wouldn't be snowed out from 4"!  April on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170186 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 14:18:45 +0000 April 1170186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You'll be glad to know, IK, that I heard a researcher on NPR yesterday talking about that very thing.  So feel free to skip the treadmill...  :) ironkurtin on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170181 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 14:14:16 +0000 ironkurtin 1170181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've never found anything that exactly dupes the endorphins from exercise. Maybe you could have great sex? Thistle on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170144 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 13:21:13 +0000 Thistle 1170144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love taking walks outside. But it is too cold, and more importantly, too icy. I was stubborn years ago and broke my wrist because of it. (I slipped and fell on the ice). I bought a treadmill and an elliptical machine. Watching an episode of myth busters while I walk is NOT the same, but it's something. We bought both machines so DH and I can do it together after DD goes to bed. We are very routine driven with DD as she is a child that needs it. So she goes down every night at 7:30. Walking has not hurt our ability to sleep. We also play games after she has gone to bed. Usually more creative ones as I am analytical all day at work, but sometimes strategy ones. I really enjoy it, and DH makes it point to get me to laugh every night. Some nights DH wants to play video games, and on those nights, I read. Nothing heavy. I call them candy books. Lighthearted, feel good reads that I simply enjoy even if they are complete literary garbage. Don't care. It's my way to unwind. Now, we just got into this routine about 6 months ago when DD started going to bed reliably. Before that I was frazzled and beside myself as I felt like I was at her beck and call until she was 19 months. Once we got this routine, we were all happier, but it wasn't easy to get. April on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170137 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 13:12:14 +0000 April 1170137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have lots of "time for me" but sometimes have trouble using it in that way.  Since leaving my job, I've had a nagging feeling that if I'm not doing chores or errands, I'm frittering away my time.  That's partly why I wasn't on YLF last year -- I couldn't justify doing something that was just purely for fun. This year, I'm doing much better at this.  A number of things have made me snap to and realize there's no virtue in not creating pleasure in life.  Things like my mother-in-law's death after a horrifying bout of dementia (forget being pleasantly dotty -- she had terrifying hallucinations and would try to hurt people, ending in psychiatric hospitalizations); personal health issues; the realization that Teenaged Boy will be out in the world soon; etc.   I make greeting cards and do some hand-bookbinding.  That and cooking are my creative pursuits, and they do fuel my spirit.  (There was a thread on this topic from years ago:  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/re-upping-the-craft-question-what-do-you-make">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....o-you-make</a> ) Also having a really good book that I can't wait to get back to (waving to Inge!) Also, reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.  I thought it sounded hippy-dippy but I saw her speak at a conference and decided to give it a whirl -- it's actually anything but hippy-dippy.  She's a very smart woman (Yale Law, clerked for Sandra Day O'Connor before realizing she wanted to be a writer) and I was surprised by what an effect the book had on me.    cheryle (Dianthus) on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170122 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 12:34:41 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 1170122@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It can be very difficult to get through the winter months unscathed when you are in a northern location.  I was away for 6 weeks and felt great and was extremely active.  I have been home for three or four days and have barely moved, have a headache and feel listless.  I know this isn't about me but I wanted to say that because you are far from alone in your winter blues. I have had a few hobbies over the years that have given me a great deal of satisfaction and have also been motivating.  I did work with stained glass for a number of years and spent a lot of time planning, shopping, and executing the pieces.  Although I appreciate art and beauty, I have no talent whatsoever so I found I got a great sense of satisfaction from creating something that is sort of functional art.  When I was working on a piece, I would think about it a lot, and often work halfway through the night to finish.   I have noticed that I rarely eat because I am hungry - I eat because I have nothing else to do.  When I am busy doing something, I almost never notice that I am hungry and often forget to eat for hours.   Perhaps a hobby in conjunction with the physical exercise would be beneficial for you Una. Karie on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170111 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 12:05:26 +0000 Karie 1170111@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I like the responses above mine - especially Deborah's regarding faith and involvement, and Gig's regarding physical activity.  For me and physical activities, establishing a routine is the key. Taking a class on the days you can go to the gym, or establishing a set time to go and use the treadmill, is a good way to get into the routine of physical activity. Do you have indoor rock climbing? You could set aside a time to go, and well, just GO. Come hell or high water, just GO. I know it's easier said than done - been there, done that. Once you establish the routine, it gets easier. I do make time for myself. Every Tues. and Thurs. evening I take Pilates and yoga classes at the gym (my favorites). At first everyone wanted my time during that time, but my answer was NO. Then they got used to it, and now it's "Oh that's right, you've got that Pilates class, how about tomorrow?" Outdoor activities are tough for me this time of year because of the extremely cold weather we've been having. DH and I like to snowshoe, but when the temps hover around 0 and the wind is whipping, Nooooooo. So I'll put on the xbox and do a sports activity with that. It's no where near the same, but at least it gets me off the couch. For non-physical activities, I go to church either Sat. evening or Sun. morning. The minister is very motivating and speaks on life lessons, and I go with a friend. The buddy system works wonders - there's a coffee shop at the church and we meet for coffee beforehand. This does wonders to rejuvenate me for the week. If church isn't your thing, just meeting a few friends for coffee and conversation once a month can be beneficial. And while I very much enjoy activities like sewing and other crafts, I don't really get energized from them, at least not enough. I think our bodies need more mental and physical activity for that.  Jjsloane on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170084 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:00:42 +0000 Jjsloane 1170084@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I hear you. I think you're right to start with the physical activities and let them help you back into some balance. Maybe then something else will reveal itself to you as another non-physical therapy.  I have been ten times busier at work and have lost the little "me time" I used to grab each day between work and picking up the kids. It did errands or shopped (returns a lot) but it gave me a daily reset button and allowed me mentally to switch from work to home mode. Not having that for a few weeks I find myself quite frazzled and more stressed. I have also just rejoined the gym, but have not been able to go as much as I'd like because of the work overload. I'm now sending DH with the kids for a few hours on Sundays so I have MY time again. It's generally time to grocery shop, but I feel unencumbered and not rushed so it helps mentally. I think I'm also energized by checking things off my to do list and having some order in my house.  jenanded on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170064 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 09:02:32 +0000 jenanded 1170064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I look back and realise I didn't do this right at all.. I can only say I encourage you to find your thing and prioiritise it high up there with your ds... I hope you get sone good ideas from the forum Una... hugs... Deborah on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170050 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 07:25:43 +0000 Deborah 1170050@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Really good questions.   My faith is really important part of my life and goes a long way to helping me maintain balance ad purpose. Non-physical activities I enjoy are reading blogs, blogging, time spent with friends (coffee with girlfriends) and a really big one for me is community involvement.  I sit on two committees (Bendigo Fashion Week & community radio) and I co-ordinate a community meals program.  These activities really feed my soul and spirit. Gigi on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1170048 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 07:22:09 +0000 Gigi 1170048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, there's something about physical exercise that can't be replaced by nonphysical pursuits. You're not going to get a high from quilting because you're not moving the body enough to get endorphins going and stuff (I don't know the actual terminology). Physical pursuits are actually medicinal. And if you are dreaming about those pursuits, I think that is telling you something about how important they are to you. I have found that the most important thing for guaranteeing the time has been routine. Is there a particular time each day or every other day when you know you can reliably fit the exercise in? It will be hard at first, but after you are used to it, you will have a routine and it won't be so difficult, even on days when you are tired from work, etc. Do you have to go to the gym to exercise, or are you able to do it at home? That is another thing I would recommend--trying to find an activity that you can do at home. That makes things easier. Can you talk to DH about it? Can he help make sure that you have the time free to do this? Can you do as you mentioned above and make it a family activity, so that you're all supporting each other? catgirl on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/some-positive-steps#post-1169999 Tue, 18 Feb 2014 05:36:57 +0000 catgirl 1169999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ *