https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 07 Apr 2026 09:13:29 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-662291 Fri, 06 Jul 2012 07:17:46 +0000 goldenpig 662291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Vicki, yes those are the Kate Spade Shelly pumps in turquoise. I would say they are comfortable enough, but not comfort shoes. There's not really much padding. I would call them "office" shoes because I can wear them for a day at the office where I'm sitting while seeing patients, and standing for a couple hours while doing procedures, and walking short distances. But I wouldn't wear them to my long on-call at the hospital days where I'm walking up and down the halls all day. For those if I wear pumps it has to be my old lower-heeled Clarks or Easy Spirit pumps. The ones that I bought pre-YLF seem to be much more comfortable than my post-YLF purchases, although those newer ones definitely attract much more attention! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661864 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:34:28 +0000 Classically Casual 661864@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I'll just add that these women better get a grip! Parents are going to arrive at their kid's school from work, from play &amp; everything in between. Life is too short to worry about this stuff. Maybe since the start of kindergarten is looming they're feeling separation anxiety &amp; lashing out at nicely dressed, friendly parents for some deep seated psychological reason. LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661826 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:08:51 +0000 Meredith1953 661826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Even if she knowingly made the snarky comment, it doesn't change the fact that some people will ALWAYS try to drag others down to the lowest common denominator. If they like to dress down in the extreme, they may feel that others are being "stuck up" for wearing nice clothing. People make judgements out of envy and insecurity. You took the high road and that is always a class act. Just as classy as the way you dress! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661818 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:02:03 +0000 Anonymous 661818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My first reaction is that she spoke out of jealousy that you were better dressed than she. I may be mistaken, but I think most comments like this stem from insecurities. Why else would she have said such a thing? I doubt there was any positive intent, but it's best to take the high road and not worry about it. Meanwhile, keep dressing nicely. If you're like me, you wouldn't feel comfortable going to your DD's school in athletic wear anyway. I never did, and I was a SAHM for many years. It's really no excuse to dress sloppily. And yes, thank goodness for Stacey and Clinton reminding people that there are rules. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661790 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 18:42:05 +0000 Vicki 661790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In your photo, you're wearing some really cute aqua pumps. Are these your KS ones, Natalie? I really like them and they go so well with your entire outfit. Are they comfy? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661423 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 03:34:02 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 661423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OMG, "appropriate for drop-off"???? What the heck? I did not know there was a dress code. LOL</p> <p>Of course, I was one of the loserific walk to schoolers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661421 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 03:15:37 +0000 goldenpig 661421@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LOL Kyle and MNSara, that website is so funny!! And yes those floral pants are like what I was wearing! Who knew there was a whole website devoted to school drop-off fashion! Hilarious! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661375 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 02:07:35 +0000 MNsara 661375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! This is quite the discussion! I love all the wise words you've gotten here, and know that you are a capable, smart young woman who will find her way through this ;-)</p> <p>In the meantime, I found Kyle's link to be pretty interesting and funny. I kept browsing, got back into older posts, and found this one -- and aren't those your pants in the 2nd pic?'</p> <p><a href="http://www.hautedropoff.com/2012/04/flowers-for-spring.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.hautedropoff.com/20.....pring.html</a></p> <p>Be sure to read the caption and her funny comments about making the floral pants 'appropriate for drop-off' . . . what a strange world it has become! </p> <p>Makes me happy those days are gone in my house -- I would have been in yoga gear, I'm sure -- hopefully I would NOT have flapped my lips with a snarky comment about anyone else though! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661339 Thu, 05 Jul 2012 00:10:31 +0000 goldenpig 661339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, so many words of wisdom to savor! Thanks to all of you for your sage advice and words of support! I am planning to give Yoga Pants Mom the benefit of the doubt and assume positive (or at least neutral) intent and not worry about her comment anymore. At the time I was too taken aback to say anything, I just laughed and nodded. But hopefully it's not a big deal and we'll all have forgotten about it the next time we talk. I don't have a problem with people wearing yoga pants...I probably would too if I had a nice pair. Anyhow, it might be a moot point because she has a son and my daughter is getting to that age where she prefers to play with girls. It's interesting how the classroom groups are starting to segregate into groups of girls and groups of boys playing together, much more so than in preschool last year. I guess that's a natural part of development.</p> <p>Alicat, I love that quote. And Sona, thank you for the link to Sal's article on what to say, that was very helpful. Anne, you're right, I wouldn't act dumber just to fit in. Chrizzle, I agree, I have stuck my foot in my mouth plenty of times so I won't hold it against her! Lemonade--well my house is sometimes a huge mess, but with two young kids, that can't be helped, LOL! Andrea and others, thanks for sticking up for the word snazzy. I think I will reclaim that title and instead of being offended, take it as a compliment that she considers me a "snazzy" dresser! Look for an upcoming "WIW: Snazzy" post! LOL! Thanks again everyone for your comments! I've read them all several times and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy! YLF is such a great community! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/3#post-661304 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 22:34:38 +0000 Echo 661304@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Chrizzle has some wise words, IMO. I think we've all sometimes made comments - perhaps out of nervousness or defensiveness or just plain social awkwardness - that we later regretted. Perhaps Ms. UnSnazzy is aware of her faux pas and is now kicking herself. If we don't want others to judge us harshly, we might want to be careful about judging them permanently by one comment. If she is a terrible person she will show it again and again, but if this was an unfortuante one-off, she might be a decent person who just stuck her foot in her mouth. Give her another chance, or at least don't avoid her or be rude to her for now. You will know soon whether she meant to be hurtful or not.</p> <p>And while we all dislike encountering rude people, that is important information, too. And you potentially know who you DON'T want your DD being friends with! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661179 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 20:31:24 +0000 Heather 661179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Natalie, totally forget that rude comment. Be your wonderful self as always and if certain snarky mothers do not want to be your friend, well, then I am certain YOU do not wish your daughter to be around their daughters. Fruit tends to fall very close to the tree.</p> <p>I think your outfit looks AMAZING. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661164 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 20:00:00 +0000 Gaylene 661164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While it's always tempting to respond to an ill-mannered remark by calling the speaker an "idiot" (or words to that effect), I think that Chrizzle and cjh are on the right track. It's easier to make a critical-sounding comment than it is to admit to feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. If yoga mom is having a difficult time coping with the demands of her life, her comment is probably more a reflection of her own feelings than an objective assessment of your appearance.</p> <p>I also think that Claire makes a very good point. While dressing to please oneself is important, it may not always be the only consideration. Whether we like it or not, people form opinions based on the way someone is dressed. Choosing an outfit that feels like "you" but helps you fit in with the other moms might make the "getting to know you" stage a bit easier. Most of us do this instinctively when we dress for certain social situations or job interviews. Maybe think of dressing this way as a fashion challenge? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661127 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 19:21:33 +0000 CocoLion 661127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry this woman was rude and hurt your feelings. I would have felt hurt as well. You look fabulous and don't change anything about your style to fit in! You are on the right track with smiling and being friendly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661119 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 19:04:43 +0000 Kari 661119@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Natalie, this is a good related article too: <a href="http://www.alreadypretty.com/2011/08/assume-positive-intent.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....ntent.html</a></p> <p>'The core of the idea is that human beings are not inherently malicious, conniving creatures and that most of our ideas and actions are well-intentioned. Even many of the ones that SEEM spiteful and rude are often driven by positively-fueled emotions like concern, compassion, and curiosity. Obviously, some people are just assholes. And some non-assholes occasionally make asshole moves. But to me, “assume positive intent” doesn’t mean, “Be a naive fool who trusts everyone to be filled with Mother Teresa-level compassion.” It means, “Try to examine sentiments and actions from multiple perspectives before allowing yourself to feel hurt or offended.”'</p> <p>'But faced with the same situation today, I hope I could be more dispassionate. I could say to myself, “This person is making a lot of assumptions about me and voicing his opinions in an invasive way. On some level, he thinks he’s helping me. I’ll avoid him from now on, but it’s not worth my energy to worry about his statements or bother with hating him.”'</p> <p>I'm not saying that the mother wasn't being catty and rude and wrong, or that you aren't justified in feeling hurt, though. Just that Sally's advice about assuming positive intent has really helped me to allow passive-aggressive comments to roll off my back more than I did in the past. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661074 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 17:47:51 +0000 Chippy Mia 661074@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wouldn't let yoga mom's comment affect you too much. I don't think you should intrepret it as mean hearted or rude just on that one incident. I agree with echo and clearlyclaire about the comment being more about herself than about you. </p> <p>I have a close friend who thinks fashion is overrated but I don't think she is being mean about it. We are still friends despite our differences in clothes. Sometimes I think fashion is overated especially then nothing fits right lol. </p> <p>Regarding the schoolground mom groups, I've been there. People do form opinions based on appearances, just be friendly and use a school/class event to start up a conversation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661040 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:54:05 +0000 HelenInCanada 661040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Are you kidding, GP? That comment was rude, no bones about it. If she's THAT insensitive and clueless, do you really WANT to befriend her? I would be offended and hurt - and unless she's dim as rocks, she should know that was an insulting thing to say. Acquaintance, fine. Friend? Highly doubtful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661036 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:49:06 +0000 Anonymous 661036@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You're such a fire-starter, GP! Sounds to me like Yoga Mom and Scrubs Mom were just trying to make themselves feel better about how *they* looked.</p> <p>Change the analogy to housekeeping. Two friends come over to your house for coffee. They remark how clean your house is. You say, "Thanks, I've found this great website that shows you how to keep up your house with a minimum of effort every day; I just love it!" And they laugh (because their houses are in shambles) and say, "House cleaning is overrated!" So really, it's more about them than it is about you. </p> <p>That said, I just read a very interesting little book called How to Dress For Success by Edith Head. It was originally published in 1967, but was re-released last year. She talked about scoping out a new situation to see what the "accepted look" was (she was a Hollywood costume designer). She recommended doing this with your kids' schools, a place where you might want to get hired, or any new situation. THEN, from there you can come up with a look that's still *you* but also situation appropriate. She talked about using your costume to "fit in make people like you". </p> <p>I know that might seem like an antiquated idea, not PC at all. I think most of us dress primarily for ourselves and our own happiness. But I am guilty of adopting a more casual style than is my favorite, simply to look like I come from the same planet as the people around me, lol! And the people that know me, know fashion has become and interest of mine and the comments like, "Well aren't YOU all gussied up!" have dried up at last. It's up to you whether you want to dial it down a notch, but either way, I hope you form some great friendships with the other moms and get the whole play date thing going on. I know how important that can be! &lt;&lt;hugs&gt;&gt; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661026 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:32:57 +0000 Kari 661026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sona, high five! I was literally just about to search for that very article. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661014 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:20:05 +0000 Isabel 661014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sona...great article. Thanks for the link !!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-661012 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:17:00 +0000 ironkurtin 661012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"...I don't want first impressions of me to be negative ones because of the way I dress (if they think I'm overdressed)."</p> <p>Natalie - You cannot control what other people think no matter what you wear. Letting what you *think* other people *might* be thinking rule your life and dictate how you act and dress is a sure road to absolute misery. So you might as well dress to make yourself happy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660980 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 15:54:34 +0000 Traci 660980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking along the same lines as cjh. I think she was being snarky to the girl who called you "snazzy" in the first place and you were not her intended target. I'm thinking she may have thought the snazzy compliment to you was some sort of backhanded insult to her and felt the need to defend herself.</p> <p>I'm curious if these women at school and the moms' board are in families of a similar income level to you? They may be intimidated by the name brands, neighborhood, house square footage, etc. I would take the playdate comment to be more about neighborhood than about your outfit posts.</p> <p>I think what you're running into is a proactive approach to dealing with judging that they assume you'll be doing. They're putting up their armour before you have a chance to put them down. Of course you're not judging them, but women can be pretty darn hard on each other and they're making assumptions of you based on past scars. Try not to take it personally, it's their baggage, not yours. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660832 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 13:54:32 +0000 Irene 660832@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It really depends on what the other people are used to wear, and you just can't control that. I've been asked 'why do you look so pretty today, ah? How come you are wearing a dress today, ah?' as if I was meeting up with Brad Pitt later on and that's because THEY only wear dresses on special occasions. And I know they mean it in a good way, as a compliment, so that's ok with me.</p> <p>You take extreme care of your appearance every day and pay attention to fashion because you like it and, as many other things, this is part of who you are. Changing that would be like changing other things about you you normally are comfortable with. Just try to seem approachable and fun, and do not judge nor sound like you are judging others for what they wear -I'm saying this because I am guilty of having done this.</p> <p>Another thing would be if your kids weren't dressed properly, or taken good care of. Or if your house was like a huge mess. Or if your bussiness/job didn't go so well. I do think that those things come before fashion. I remember when I was teaching 5 years old children a few years ago, there were these two perfect mommies with their perfect skinny jeans and matching boobs and bags, and oh so amazing hairstyles and hairdos. The children (two little girls) looked just as great. However, they lacked good manners, self-control and the ability to respect adults. They didn't behave propperly at all and were trouble in most classes while the other kids behaved way better. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with that, or maybe it did. But I always got the feeling that those two mothers were superficial and were spending more time on themselves than on their children, like when they were on the street after school the girls would run around while the mothers talked about THEIR things and without controlling what the girls were doing (with cars and random people around!!), and I didn't like that at all. Also, at the end of the year I took portraits of each kid -for an activity we were doing- and the two little girls show sad eyes in them, which is very sad, especially in children so young. I DO NOT think that's your case though, but just wanted to explore this issue </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660826 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 13:43:05 +0000 texstyle 660826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo what Echo said "Her comment was was less of a dig at you than it was a cover for her own insecurity and lack of fashion." When you read good self esteem books they usually point out that nearly every person is MUCH more interested in themselves than in anything anyone else does, says, wears, thinks, etc. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660818 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 13:28:37 +0000 cjh 660818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I haven't read any of the other comments yet, but my first instinct is she was trying to defend her own choices instead of putting anyone else down. She probably feels more like herself in workout wear or plain and simple pieces, and either doesn't have interest in or time for other levels of fashion. </p> <p>I can relate because I have some same feelings about other issues, and could possibly (flippantly if not thinking) say things such as Super Landscaping is overrated, or Eating at Restaurants is overrated, etc. Just because of the choices I make to have a plainish yard, or eat at home 98% of the time even though it's more work. </p> <p>This doesn't mean I don't appreciate the beauty of highly designed and high maintenance yards - just that it isn't my thing and my time, money and efforts are expended on other interests.</p> <p>So to probably repeat what others have said, don't take it personally as directed to you. Most people won't say such a thing as a personal or derogatory comment before they even know a person, unless just expressing their own philosophy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660804 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 13:07:41 +0000 Sona 660804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Natalie, Sal from already pretty wrote a great article on how to deal with for lack of another work another person's jealousy or passive aggressive words when you dress well. She gives practical pointers on how to deal with these situations:</p> <p><a href="http://www.alreadypretty.com/2012/06/reader-request-being-a-source-of-jealousy.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....lousy.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660782 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 12:37:01 +0000 sarah 660782@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really like how Isis put it. You and your daughter will find your way at her new school, don't worry. And you have your profession and other moms have theirs, and the environmental norm is not the same for all of them.</p> <p>Try to just shrug it off and enjoy how snazzy you always look! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660738 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:37:20 +0000 Chrizzle 660738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel for you, Natalie/GP. I remember how weird and awkward it was to try to make friends with the other parents when my daughter started kindergarten, even though it was a small school that went out of its way to be a real community for the families. I loved looking around and seeing parents (that school was great at getting dads equally involved, so it wasn't just moms) in full goth regalia and colorful hair, in colorful robes and hijabs, in hippie/boho outfits, in crisp business suits, in cycling gear, in Birkenstocks, in high heels, in kippahs, in sleek preppy bobs, in waist-length dreadlocks. There was no worry about blending in or not, because the parents were all so different from each other. I thought surely I could find somebody in such a diverse group to be friends with, but it wasn't that easy at first. DD started 4th grade at a new school this past year, and I have had to go through the process of fitting in with the other parents all over again.</p> <p>I still remember the parent coffee hour on her first day of Kindergarten and feeling intimidated by the ones who looked more sophisticated than I. I've been a university administrator for most of my career, in settings that are very casual. The moms in more formal business wear all looked so much more dressed up than I ever have to be for my work. I remember one mom who looked so fabulous that I felt she would never have any interest in being friends with me. </p> <p>If I had found myself in such a conversation with her early on, I could totally have seen myself blurting out something as thoughtless as what that woman said to you, perhaps in an attempt at self-deprecating humor. Then I'd spend the rest of the school year kicking myself for having said such an idiotic thing, and being too embarrassed to ever look her in the eye again! Which of course, would only serve to confirm the initial impression of rudeness. </p> <p>So, basically I'm saying forgive Ms. UnSnazzy for that one thoughtless sentence, assume positive intentions, and don't carry a grudge against her. Keep being your stylish self and being open and friendly to everyone. She may eventually realize that you don't look down on others for wearing workout clothes or for being less stylish. You may find that she's really a very nice person when she's not feeling nervous or insecure. Or you may end up never getting along with that particular woman, but you will make friends with other people. These things have a way of working themselves out with time and familiarity. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660700 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 07:23:20 +0000 Kyle 660700@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting: <a href="http://www.hautedropoff.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.hautedropoff.com</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660681 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 06:11:22 +0000 ManidipaM 660681@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There's already plenty of words of wisdom to soothe you by now, Natalie. I especially loved Alicat's quote (thank you, Alicat!). </p> <p>I'm going to offer a third perspective here: the shy daughter of the shy mother who dressed differently from the norm. No, my mother didn't manage to fit in --- at all, and ever! My 'friends' plain thought she was weird and said so, they probably thought *I* was weird too and certainly often lectured me on being shy or snooty, whatever they perceived --- thing is, we still ended up on playdates and I got invited over even though my mother for one hardly ever issued invitations herself! We just had enough in common simply going to school together, playing the same games and reading the same books. I remember being desperately glad of the acceptance at first, and also cringing at their lack of manners or thoughtfulness (as well as their mothers' --- naturally children learn somewhere!)... until as I grew older, I grew in confidence enough to be superficially friendly and nice while knowing they weren't my sort enough to be bosom buddies, and I found other friends whose values I was more in sync with.</p> <p>I still meet them sometimes, and marvel at their children in turn speaking like yoga mom did, or playing in a thoughtless or even downright destructive way that their mothers now dismiss as 'rough and tumble'. I'd not ideally want my children, if I had any, on playdates with those kids and would prefer to choose more polite peers and role models (in line with what Amy's saying). But at the same time, you know, kids choose their own friends --- even sometimes out of line with their own nature or upbringing, like I did. Mostly they outgrow them too. The time to worry is if your kids seem to be borrowing an 'unsuitable' playmates nature to try and fit in!</p> <p>As for you as the mom, I'd just keep on being you --- I may have been embarrassed at the way my mom stood apart for a few years, but ultimately I was awed and impressed that she stuck to *being herself*, no matter what. It's a surprisingly great way to model self-confidence, I promise. If you change to fit in, your daughter might well get the message that this is the right or acceptable thing to do --- for her as well. And it isn't --- she deserves to know she can grow into being her own person and be applauded and enjoyed for it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/snazzy-is-overrated-is-being-fashionably-dressed-a-turnoff/page/2#post-660644 Wed, 04 Jul 2012 05:10:09 +0000 Jenava 660644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have not read the other responses yet, but my first instinct is this:</p> <p>You are WAY over reacting to this. Be Yourself. do what makes you comfortable and let the other moms do the same and you should have not problems whatsoever making relationships....honestly, it's only an issue if you make it one!</p> <p>ETA, I highly doubt at this early stage that any of these ladies are out to be snarky; any attempt to interpret their responses and such is probably unfair. YOU know you look fab....do any remarks by other matter in the least? They are prob just trying to make convo and dont' mean at all for you to take offense. </p>