https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 11:37:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully/page/2#post-438439 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:02:59 +0000 celia 438439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm one of the guilty ones for not taking proper care of my skin while I was young, and sometimes don't still.(should know better, I know)<br /> This being said I don't put aside a little botox or the likes of it if my wrinkles start bothering me too much.<br /> Not because I don't want to look old, just because I want to feel comfortable with what I see in the mirror.<br /> In some cultural backgrounds(mine partly only) women were supposed to stop taking care of themselves and 'age gracefully' because that meant they were more worried with their children and husband. It went so far as people usually saying 'I already found a husband, I don't have to care anymore.'<br /> All this talk was always very depressing for me, but as much as women have liberated themselves from this ideas from the past, the truth is they still linger in the background.<br /> Maybe your friend is still trying to find out what is 'aging gracefully' for herself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully/page/2#post-438367 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:36:36 +0000 Kafe 438367@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>kimlee, absolutely. There is no one right way to approach the aging process but it is important to take care of ourselves. Good for you for starting early and being the best you can be. Maybe she reacted the way she did because she's defensive? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully/page/2#post-438294 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 10:57:23 +0000 Deborah 438294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Really interesting thread. I don't think I can add much other than to share that I believe also that aging gracefully means looking after yourself. I have always looked after my skin, try to eat well etc and I think its worth it. I am not trying to look younger, I just want to look the best I can and its never to early to start looking after yourself. I hope you dont mind me saying this but perhaps your friend has some self esteem issues which prevent her from seeing the value in caring for herself? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully/page/2#post-438289 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 10:44:35 +0000 kimlee 438289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kafe - For you meaning aging gracefully means no surgical assitance, for someone else it may be different. I understand that each woman has their own idea of what it means but I would hope that if my idea is different than yours we could disagree in a better way than my friend did with me.</p> <p>Kate S. - If I have learned nothing else from getting older, I have learned that other's opinions of me should not color my perception of myself. Granted, that is easier said than done but I work hard to not let negative thoughts change my outlook.</p> <p>Bella - You are gorgeous and aging with a great deal of grace.</p> <p>Scarlet - I agree with you.</p> <p>CCiele - You are graceful to me. :-)</p> <p>JennyK - I understand your desire to not look like you twins grandmother when they are in high school. I live in a small town and at 27 had my daughter - that makes me the oldest Mama in her pre-school class, and at times I feel extremely aware of that fact. If my husband and I decided to have another child, I will be in my mid-30's before he/she is born, and want to make sure I look as nice as the younger mothers.</p> <p>DeniseP - I agree 100% that true beauty radiates from within. My daughter has 3 great-grandmothers are each of them is absolutely beautiful to me. Yes, they<br /> have wrinkles, but they go for life with gusto, stand their ground, love fiercely, and laugh often. I tell my husband quite frequently that if I am like them<br /> when I reach their age, I will consider it the greatest blessing.</p> <p>Taylor - Thank you!</p> <p>ButterflyLady - I like that thought "not trying to look young, but trying to look good". I may adopt that as a personal mantra. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully/page/2#post-438262 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:51:46 +0000 ButterflyLady 438262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm 47, and to me ageing gracefully is not about trying to look young, but trying to look good. We all want that, don't we? Whatever age we are. Here in the UK people of my parent's generation tend to give up on their appearance, but I think those of us of the younger generation won't be like that. I fully intend to have a little work if I think it will make me feel better about myself.</p> <p>Some fairly good genes and judicious use of sunscreen (despite parents who are sun worshippers, and whose skin is showing it) have meant that I probably do look younger than I am. But I don't spend hours and hours doing stuff to look after myself - I want the whole family to have a good diet, exercise and Pilates are my hobbies, and I love playing around with skincare, so it all comes together well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-438061 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:20:01 +0000 taylor 438061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Applauding you Denise P :)<br /> I bet you are beautiful inside and out!!</p> <p>Thank you Kimlee, you look pretty terrific too:)<br /> Honestly, the older I get the more comfortable in my own skin I have become, I may not love what looks back at me in the mirror, but good grief I have been blessed with 54 yrs. A few wrinkles can be expected...I have expierienced alot in this life of mine:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-438051 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:08:48 +0000 DeniseP 438051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kimlee, You already have much wisdom about this aging issue, and you understand what many women have yet to learn! That's great!</p> <p>I distinctly remember making that same comment about "aging gracefully" when I was in my 30s and 40s. But at the time, I really didn't have a clue what that would involve. </p> <p>As others have stated here, if there are products that help you feel better, by all means use them. However, we shouldn't obsess about looking young forever. Just use whatever helps, and what can't be touched up -- let it go -- forget it!</p> <p>I am now sixty, and some days don't like what I see in the mirror, but then I remind myself that I was young once, and that season is over. To be thankful for the years I've been given, and not be ashamed of my older skin. Yes, I use all those skin care creams, and highlight the gray hair. I exercise, eat right, and all the rest; however, these things still do not stop the aging process - gravity pulls on.<br /> I just want to look like a healthy sixty year old woman who lives life to the fullest, and not look like a fake forty year old who can't enjoy life for worrying about how she looks!</p> <p>I love to see an older woman who is confident in who she is -- on the inside. Because outward appearance does NOT determine who she is. </p> <p>It's true that real beauty radiates from within. You said it well, about keeping your physical, emotional and spiritual life in good shape, and that will take you a long ways towards beauty. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437920 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:26:42 +0000 JennyK (NC) 437920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aging gracefully - meh! I intend to do everything I can afford to keep me going the way I want to go. I can't stop time, but maybe I can slow it down a bit! It's actually more important to me now than ever. I'm 42 with newborns. I'll be in my fifties when they're in high school. I don't want people asking me if I'm their grandma (though I hope to be a grandma by then).</p> <p>For me this means starting to pay a lot more attention to my physical health and fitness. But if I can afford Botox, Rejuvin etc. when I feel like I need it I have no problem doing that.</p> <p>JennyK </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437905 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:14:26 +0000 cciele 437905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Eh, I don't do anything gracefully so don't see myself doing so aging-wise ;)</p> <p>But in all seriousness, Debbie definitely nailed it on the head! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437866 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 20:23:17 +0000 Scarlet 437866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well you got me then. I guess from my perspective using an eye cream seems pretty innocuous and not something I would even imagine someone being judgmental about. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437851 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 20:00:48 +0000 bella 437851@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>From my mom, I have inherited not only bad genes that make me prone to wrinkles but also a wonderful habit of enjoying life and laughing with my eyes - the genuine, warm kind of laugh that makes my eyes squint. I started developing crow's feet around my eyes in my early 20s and have been using an anti-wrinkle cream (with retinol) for at least 5-6 years. How could any dare suggest that I am not aging gracefully! Pffttt.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437830 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:13:11 +0000 mamaKate 437830@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread tugs at my heart because 8 years ago when I was 29 I would have been exactly that woman to scoff at my friend for using a potion-lotion. I still have an extremely minimal skin care routine (which - horrors - rarely involves sunscreen), but my attitude has shifted to be less judgemental and more accepting toward others. </p> <p>The point I want to make, though, having been in those shoes, is that one way to interpret your friend's comment is simply as a reflection of her own self-image. I encourage you not to absorb her own judgments onto yourself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437824 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:06:05 +0000 kimlee 437824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Scarlet - The friend in question is 36. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437777 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:13:40 +0000 Scarlet 437777@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Honestly, how old is your friend? I don't mean to sound snippy, but that sounds like something only a very young person would say. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437732 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:13:03 +0000 Kafe 437732@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think, if your acquaintance is about as old as you are, that she just doesn't get yet what it means age or she hasn't really thought about it much. Sure, she might be getting an idea, but in another decade she might be singing a different tune. In my mid 40s, I know what aging means. </p> <p>Using an anti-aging cream is a great idea. Skin, like any organ, needs to be cared for. Aging gracefully to me means no surgical assistance. To someone else it might mean minimal sessions under the knife. To yet another it might mean using only organic lotions and potions. </p> <p>Sometimes too I wonder if people really understand what it is he/she is saying. If putting nothing on your skin is aging gracefully, then how does one justify getting ones hair cut? If aging gracefully would be going all natural.... then let hair do the same thing and never cut it. </p> <p>Just wayward ramblings on my part. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437704 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:53:43 +0000 kimlee 437704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IronKurtin - I just responded with "Well bless your heart" - a southernism for "Aren't you just a crazy/sill/stupid thing". Lol! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437697 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:51:23 +0000 ironkurtin 437697@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your friend's comment was fairly sanctimonious. I think anything short of looking like the tiger lady is aging gracefully.</p> <p>There are a few snappy comebacks to lines like that - I"m thinking "And you do it so well!" is one, but the most ladylike response was one Miss Manners advocated, and was in another thread on dealing with snarky remarks: "Well bless you!" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437686 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:43:47 +0000 MsMary 437686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes! Debbie nailed it!! And Suz, I like your take on it, too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437670 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:30:42 +0000 kimlee 437670@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Debbie - I agree 100%</p> <p>Turkey Vulture - I am very mindful not to "act like a spaz" about aging. The lines around my eyes are from all the wonderful times I have had with family and friends, and I cherish those memories.</p> <p>Aunty - Fight if you want...I am fighting too. And I think as long you do it in a graceful way (see Turkey's comment) then you are on the right path.</p> <p>Taylor - You look fantastic at 54! </p> <p>Isabel - I love the comparison you made. We are only given 1 life, 1 body, so we need to control and lead it where we want it to go.</p> <p>Suz - I love your comment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437663 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:21:49 +0000 Suz 437663@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aging gracefully means taking good care of yourself and at the same time embracing the changes. Sometimes I'm a bit discouraged to see my laugh lines, but then I remember how I got them. And that makes it all worth while. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437661 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:15:37 +0000 Isabel 437661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh gosh, NO !! Gracefully does not me passively, in my opinion. I know that this is kind of a weird comparison, but I will make it anyway : )</p> <p>One of my wonderful doctors once said to me, about cancer, " Don't let it lead you. You get out in front of it and lead it. Don't lose your spirit to it, no matter what the end result" That really touched me and I will carry it with me forever - though my cancer is gone.</p> <p>I know that cancer and aging are two VERY different things, but I just loved what he said and it applies to so much in life.</p> <p>Take some control and lead it ! What is wrong with that ? If nothing else, you feel empowered. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437659 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:14:37 +0000 taylor 437659@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Debbie's comment!!<br /> I am not trying to look 20...I just want to look look the best I can at 54...I have always tried to take care of myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437631 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:45:44 +0000 Aunty 437631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry but I am fighting all the way!!</p> <p>I try to take care of my skin, hair, diet and how I look in my clothes. I don't think I am excessive in any way. I don’t spend hours each and every day, I just haven’t the time. </p> <p>LOL I promise I try to do it in a graceful way </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437619 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:36:34 +0000 Turkey Vulture 437619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think "aging gracefully" just means "not acting like a spaz." If you can put on your alpha-hydroxy cream under your eyes without getting all dramatic and nutty about it, then you're aging gracefully. And I bet you pull that off every night with no problem. :)</p> <p>I'm 31 and I definitely have a few lines here and there, and I can see where more will develop. Plus the older I get the more visible my pores get, boooo! AHA lotion does seem to help a lot, but what has helped me the most is to remember that the lines around my eyes are from smiling and laughing. How nice to have a visible reminder of all the good times I've had so far in my life! (I just try not to think about the line forming between my brows that is the result of frowning!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437598 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:17:05 +0000 Debbie 437598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Taking care of yourself is aging gracefully in my opinion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437594 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:15:40 +0000 kimlee 437594@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RoseandJoan - I agree that grace takes balance and attention to detail.I have some friends who have taking their anti-aging to ends that I would deem extreme. However, it is there choice. I understand that at some point aside from drastic measure I will show my age - I can not realistically expect to look 25 years old when I am 75. However, I can make sure that I am in the best phsyical, emotional and spirtiual shape I can be, no matter how old I am.</p> <p>Marlene1 - You have summarized exactly how I feel.</p> <p>MaryK - Amen!</p> <p>KikiG - I believe that there is a vast differnece in aging gracefully and aging naturally. I agree that the stars we see on television, magazines, etc that are "aging gracefully" are putting a lot of work into it. Again, genetics plays a large role in the aging process as well as other factors. I feel as though each woman should simply do the best that they can to take care of themselves...and that is beautiful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437585 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:06:41 +0000 KikiG 437585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your friend has "aging gracefully" confused with "aging naturally." There isn't a whole lot that is graceful, for western women, about aging, viewed through the lens of popular culture. Women who appear to age gracefully are actually working hard on health, fitness and appropriate fashion and grooming. </p> <p>Sunscreen and hair color help tremendously, but so much of the aging process is simply genetic. Illness and stress take a terrible toll on a woman, and so does addiction. I was shocked by how very old Kara Kennedy (my age!) looked in the pictures that were on the internet when she died recently, but of course, she had been ill. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437565 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 13:37:40 +0000 MsMary 437565@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some years ago there was a face cream commercial in which the woman said "I have no intention of growing old gracefully. I intend to fight it every step of the way!"</p> <p>But that was, like, a JOKE! There's nothing graceless about taking good care of yourself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437564 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 13:28:31 +0000 Marlene1 437564@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How rude to imply that you are other than graceful! Taking care of yourself is not graceless. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/slightly-ot-aging-gracefully#post-437538 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 13:06:46 +0000 RoseandJoan 437538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I believe the key word is grace or in this instance gracefully, since when was graceful interpreted as completely natural, how far down that route does she intend to go? No hair dye, no moisturiser, perhaps not plucking her eyebrows or tailoring her diet? I think grace takes balance and attention to detail and is neither exemplified by a disregard for grooming or a war on all sign of aging but is rather the middle ground. </p>