https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:35:00 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953549 Thu, 06 Sep 2018 01:48:08 +0000 cindysmith 1953549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Firecracker, thank you for the moral support! I guess I felt it was important to share my experience because it was important to thank you guys for your part in it, and because it might help someone else struggling with a similar problem. So thank you for being part of this wonderful community!</p> <p>Angie, you should be proud of yourself and all these wonderful fabbers. It was y'all that helped me remember that I'm not defective or crazy, the clothes are LOL. And you better believe an outfit lab is coming to make sure I style my new stuff in a situationally appropriate manner, because this is where the experts are Let me get everything ironed and I'll start trying on and mixing and matching and photographing for a post to get feedback on combinations and alterations that might be needed.</p> <p>Unfrumped, humor &amp; sarcasm are my armor And one needs armor when trying on clothes; the clothes make no sense, dressing room mirrors are weird, dressing room lighting is often ugly florescent...</p> <p>Greyscale, I actually have seen many men's shirts that I've considered buying. And man clothes probably accommodate big arms because man=strong whereas ladies are supposed to have toothpicks for arms (apparently, since even ladies with small arms have had this problem). We could probably buy man shirts and have a couple of darts added to make them fit like lady shirts and I just now thought of that thanks to you! YLF really is the bestest place :-D</p> <p>Barbara Diane, you just made me extra glad I don't wear dresses. I hadn't even thought about how that would look if I tried on a plus size dress. The mental image of how that would look on my waist and hips? has me both horrified and hysterically entertained ;-)</p> <p>Nebraskim, I feel for you and all the ladies who have that problem with small forearms that drown in sleeves. That has to be as frustrating as my problem. It's really crazy that nobody seems to be able to find clothes that fit!</p> <p>Y'all are all amazing XOXOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953465 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 19:30:25 +0000 Nebraskim 1953465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echoing Joy and Windchimes here on having wrists so tiny I have to have watches altered, and having to buy XL shirts so the upper arms are not sausage casing tight but the rest of the shirt is huge. A super frustrating thing. I am glad you were able to power past and regain your style mojo.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953428 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 17:23:32 +0000 Barbara Diane 1953428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So proud of you for positive self talk and knowing to buy what fits. I have a wide range of sizes in my closet. The difference in how items are cut, and the difference between cuts in the same brand, are huge. I start at my most common size and work from there.&nbsp;</p> <p>Sounds like you will need to have fitted items taken in at the waist, as the biggest difference with plus size is the waist and hips run bigger even when the bust size is the same. And the armholes are cut bigger.&nbsp;</p> <p>Congratulations on finding interview clothing.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953422 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 16:56:54 +0000 Greyscale 1953422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have literally ripped the sleeves of silk shirts. I wear men’s buttoned shirts sometimes because they’re roomy in the right places (but hard to get the flattering “borrowed from my boyfriend” look, so probably not a good solution in general).</p> <p>I’m glad you overrode the negative voices. Well done. I hope your new work wardrobe lets you feel fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953420 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 16:40:12 +0000 unfrumped 1953420@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So great that you can use humor!<br /> Not just sizing but fit descriptions often baffle me. Some “ straight “ or slim pants are curvier or looser than “Curvy”.<br /> Rises and waistlines are all over the map. This is a GOOD thing in that there are variations in fits, but I have to try on a bazillion brands, fits and sizes. </p> <p>You have re- inspired me too, both for culling my wardrobe and for assessing new purchases. I have a tendency to settle, in pant fits, or try to tailor them, which can be good sometimes when it’s just a nip in the waist, but sometimes it’s just the wrong fit that still won’t be right. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953417 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 16:32:27 +0000 Angie 1953417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Cindy,</b> I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I love your attitude and positive spirit. Thanks for sharing.&nbsp;</p> <p>The size on the label is meaningless. Achieving good fit is your goal. A small alteration can make the difference.</p> <p>I'd love to see some of the items you bought on lovely you. When you have a moment </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953416 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 16:31:01 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1953416@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the inspiring read. I'm so impressed that you talked yourself through this episode and came home with some pieces that you were looking for. It's an achievement, and I appreciate your sharing it with us. Something to learn from! You're right, YLF is such a valuable source of support and wisdom. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953403 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 16:10:32 +0000 cindysmith 1953403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, there are pants out there that I'm pretty sure wouldn't even fit our forearms. Which is insane, because even size 2 women have actual thighs and not sticks for legs.</p> <p>Laurie, yes, there's an outfit lab coming. I have to start putting together actual ensembles from the individual garments I bought. Which is another amazing thing about YLF. I can get help here, from women who so freely pass on the wisdom they've gained here and in real life experiences.</p> <p>JuniperGreen, I probably would have shouted at her that she was perfect and the clothes were stupid. I've experienced the power of some stranger paying me a compliment before, and I try to pass it on. Thank you for the moral support!</p> <p>LaPed, "pants were easy enough" was something of a relative statement. So many pants were just too short, and not in an ankle length pant kind of way. What a way to spoil an otherwise perfect pair of pants, right? And I would love to have the money to have bespoke clothing! There are shops on etsy that will custom make a garment based on your individual measurements, and most of them charge nothing (or very very little) to do so. Beyond that, yes, I'm waiting for 3D printer technology to catch up to our needs </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953394 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 15:35:00 +0000 LaPed 1953394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Pants were easy enough" -- oh, how I envy that statement!!&nbsp;</p> <p>It is baffling how many clothes are just cut so poorly, and frustrating that the size on the label means absolutely nothing. I know they must fit someone, but still. </p> <p>I also wonder if/when manufacturing will move away from ready-to-wear sizing (which really hasn't been around all that long in the grand scheme of things) and back towards bespoke garments as the technology changes. Why can't I just have a computer take my measurements and 3D print me a custom-fit shirt? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953391 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 15:19:51 +0000 JuniperGreen 1953391@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, thank you for this post.&nbsp; I so relate, and it made me smile!&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>The other day I was in a dressing room the other day and hearing another woman complain about her body to her friend.&nbsp; I couldn't even see her but wanted to shout to her that she was perfect as she was and that the clothes were at issue, not herself!</p> <p>And then I realized I was saying the same stuff in my head as I tried on clothes.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Your post is a great reminder that the clothes should fit our bodies, not the other way around.&nbsp; &nbsp;And also... I'm envious of your muscles.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953390 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 15:18:43 +0000 Laurie 1953390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This post sums up the importance of YLF, Angie's advice and our community beautifully.&nbsp; The specific frustrations, issues and need for garments aside, that you were able to dig deeper, pull from wisdom and find a way to be rational in an otherwise very emotional situation that we as women have been so trained for by our society and advertising...it's just so great.&nbsp; &nbsp; Here we are, to help you and each other.&nbsp; &nbsp; Thank you, Angie, thank you YLF.&nbsp; &nbsp;And kudos cindysmith!&nbsp; Good luck in your current wardrobe search, it's never easy to fight the feelings of frustration.&nbsp; &nbsp; I'm sure you'll be posting some awesome WIW's soon.&nbsp; Hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953374 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 13:53:30 +0000 Janet 1953374@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, if it makes you feel any better, I tried on pants the other day — maybe 8-10 pairs. Not jeans, pants. There was not a single pair that didn’t make me feel like crying. All tight in the thighs, and/or laughably long in the rise. </p> <p>I know that neither you nor I have some sort of freakish bodies, but somehow many clothing makers don’t seem to be cutting for many of us. It’s exhausting and dispiriting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today/page/2#post-1953369 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 13:06:39 +0000 cindysmith 1953369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thistle, that made me giggle a little this morning thank you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953367 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:35:34 +0000 Thistle 1953367@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*hugs*&nbsp; I am sorry it was so frustrating.</p> <p>I do understand and feel the pain myself, regularly.&nbsp;</p> <p>And remember, it's not you, it's the clothes. They are lucky to get to grace your amazing body.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953358 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:13:57 +0000 cindysmith 1953358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Chris987, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there are women buying clothes for their daughters and not for themselves. We've been conditioned as women to put everything and everybody before ourselves. More insanity from marketeers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953356 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:10:09 +0000 cindysmith 1953356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, all you people with child size bracelets are making me feel like slapping some clothing makers. If y'all have tight sleeves then clothing makers are just plain stupid.</p> <p>Shopping IS like stalking, Jane! (except this kind of stalking is legal LOL)</p> <p>Cardiffgirl ,that has to be rough on your daughter. Sending her (((hugs)))</p> <p>Fashintern, I wish! LOL. I remember the Olympic swimmer that got made over on "what not to wear", size 8 shoulders size 2 waist. I'm more like size 16 shoulders, size 10 waist, size 12-14 arse. Well, except when I'm a size 2x shoulder or whatever. Clothes sizes are silly like that ;-)</p> <p>Sisi, I stole the bag of flour line from somebody on reddit :-D</p> <p>Mainelady &amp; suntiger, thank you for the moral support! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953355 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 12:05:26 +0000 Chris987 1953355@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nodding vigorously! You had me at "waistband gets intimate with bra underwire". LOL!! That happens to me with a lot of pants.&nbsp;Up there in tuck-your-waistband-into-your-bra land. The high rise trend has just made it worse. Tight arms are an issue for me too. </p> <p>GOOD FOR YOU trying plus sizes. The label is just some marketing person's decision, it has nothing to do with you. </p> <p>And yes, it makes no sense that they are making clothes for teenage skinny bodies when it's the middle aged normal sized women who have the $$ to spend. Maybe those adult women are only buying clothes for their teenage daughters and not themselves, but the adult women probably have jobs to go to so that makes no sense either. </p> <p>As everyone else said, it's not you, it's the clothing manufacturers. This whole frustrating situation is why I often return tot he same manufacturers once I find a fit that works, even if I'm sometimes less than thrilled with the styles they offer. </p> <p>ChrisM, &nbsp;great suggestions on Duluth and Orvis. I just wish either of them made petite sizes but they do not. I'm going to give Orvis another look, I'll just skip over the fly fishing section and go right to the silk shirts </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953351 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 11:38:39 +0000 Anonymous 1953351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tight armholes are the worst! It really seems to be a thing these days, and paired with 6+ extra inches of volume in the body. Grr! I agree wholeheartedly with Jussie, its not you its the clothes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953341 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:28:37 +0000 Mainelady 1953341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cheers to you for your perseverance! Finding the right sizes can be quite a challenge. I have a range of sizes in my closet and honestly have had to size up more often than I would have thought. I cut the size tags out. I am not going to be identified by a size label. I am petite, but have meaty upper arms and a large bust. Button down shirts are hard to find. They either gape at the buttons when I move, are too large on the shoulders, or gape at the neckline. Sigh. Rest assured that you are not alone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953332 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 08:18:05 +0000 Sisi 1953332@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I so so so understand and agree with all what you say!&nbsp;"Bag of flour ..." hahaha! Very well said! Shopping has become a&nbsp;chore.&nbsp;But you came out victorious and brought&nbsp;home&nbsp;pants that sound fabulous and even some shirts. Hooray! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953324 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 07:23:01 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1953324@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“as a bag of flour has to do with Saturn's rings”<br /> You crack me up! </p> <p>Trouble finding shirts big enough for your muscles, but narrow enough for your waist? Yowza! Says lousy things about the clothes, but pretty awesome for your bod. Just sayin.</p> <p>When do we get to see these gems? I really want to see the pants. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953323 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 07:08:40 +0000 Cardiff girl 1953323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel for you,having just spent days shopping for my teenage daughters school uniform.she s got the build of a cross channel swimmer so what fun we had trying to get shirts to fit!None of the school uniform shirts would fit so we ended up with a ladies shirt from M and S because they are cut to accommodate the female bits!I would totally ignore labels if I were you,sizing is so random these days.Cut it out if you don’t want to see it but no one else can see what size you are wearing,how it fits is way more important than the label as you know. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953314 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 05:56:27 +0000 Jane 1953314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I sometimes think that shopping is more like stalking. Good recovery from the low feelings. </p> <p>Shame, shame, shame on our retailers. </p> <p>I’m looking forward to the photos! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953313 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 05:47:44 +0000 Gigi 1953313@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm another one with tiny arms (like Joy, I need child-sized bracelets, and my upper arms look like a ten-year-old's), and I have many times been surprised at how narrow arms are being made these days. Sometimes the arms feel tight even on *me*, so I can't imagine how people with normal-sized arms manage. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953299 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 03:02:14 +0000 cindysmith 1953299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, thank you for the moral support! I'm afraid to cut the tags out, because I've accidentally snipped a hole in a garment (more than once LOL) but I CAN ignore the tag </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953295 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 02:42:48 +0000 Anonymous 1953295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>seconding Windchimes comments about tight sleeves.&nbsp; I have arms that need bracelets made for children but have had the tight sleeves and even tops too tight in the chest although I take a 29 or 30 bra size band and am small boobed.&nbsp; It is the clothes.&nbsp; You can cut the size taga off so you don't have to look at them if you want. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953291 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 02:20:46 +0000 cindysmith 1953291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Annagybe, it DOES hurt. Thank you for the moral support!</p> <p>Gretchen, I'll have to do an outfit lab soon. It's too dark in my house to be taking pics tonight, but I promise I'm coming to get opinions on outfits soon!</p> <p>Lucy, it's got to be their way of saying they only want to dress the cool kids, without coming out and saying it like that donkey at Abercrombie did.</p> <p>Chris, I'm definitely going to check into Duluth and orbis. Especially those silk blouses, because silk &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3 thanks for the recommendation!</p> <p>Jussie, I can get away with ordering knit tops online, but not wovens. Even knit pants can get tricky online, but I'll take a chance know and then. I'm definitely better off pants shopping in bricks &amp; mortar. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953288 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 02:00:43 +0000 jussie 1953288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It’s not you, it’s the clothes. A lot of trying on is required to find the stuff that fits correctly. That’s why I personally don’t shop online much because I know the ratio leans toward many more clothes NOT fitting than fitting, even in my “size”. And size charts? Next to useless.<br /> Chris m: Duluth and orvis sound good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953286 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 01:50:41 +0000 ChrisM 1953286@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations for talking yourself down!! It’s tough when you want to buy but there aren’t choices that you love!</p> <p>I too have a broad back and absolutely HATED shopping for tops until I found lines like Duluth and Orvis that are made for women with shoulders and arms that work.</p> <p>Now, they tend to be just a tad gearish, (and probably too conservative for your dystopian tastes). but if you’re careful there are gems. For example, Duluth has hidden “bust-proof” buttons on some of their shirts to deal with gaping. Orvis has beautiful silk blouses that have ease through the back. I am a “cusp” size and have been happy with the fit of both brands in their tops only. Pants are a different story....</p> <p>I shop their sale stuff because I like the quality. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-was-rough-today#post-1953285 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 01:47:21 +0000 Lucy 1953285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I'm glad you got through this! <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The arm thing is weird, though. I am sure I never used to have trouble with too-tight arms. I can recall having gaping buttons over my bust with some brands - and this has been consistent my whole life. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Yet the too-tight arm thing has only occurred in the last two years, without any obvious change in shape or weight. I'm sure I still have the same arms. And if i go up a size, it fits nowhere else. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>WHY clothes designers WHY??? <br /></div> </p>