https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 13 Apr 2026 07:08:05 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407640 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 11:27:44 +0000 Dee 2407640@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks all for sharing some of your thoughts and experiences of both the good and unfortunately some of the bad too. Gives one lots to ponder on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407628 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 03:46:32 +0000 Bijou 2407628@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My one experience in a Chanel boutique (about 25 years ago) was lovely. DH and I had been hiking in Sydney (crossing the harbour bridge into the city doing a 15km walk) when DH decided to buy me a Chanel bag as a reward for getting a big promotion at work. I was shocked and said there was no way I was going into the store in my gear, but DH said if the sales assistants were rude or snotty, then we were not buying. They could not have been more welcoming or lovely to us, and I got my precious bag.</p> <p>I am much like you, I prefer to shop in stores where I may find an item that I want. I occasionally buy designer items but only go into stores if I think it is possible that I would buy something. I love checking out stores in Japan, especially by Japanese designers and have a few treasured items from those shopping experiences. Japanese sales assistants get the balance right; they are very helpful without being overbearing, friendly, yet reserved. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407618 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 02:07:36 +0000 Jenni NZ 2407618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of my not so great experiences was after my menopausal weight gain, when I went into a boutique in one of the 4 malls within easy driving distance of me. I was looking for a sort of light evening jacket. “Women over 40 shouldn’t show their upper arms” and “We don’t have a Large in that… not that you’re large!”<br /> It’s perhaps 17 years ago when I was about 48 and I still remember how bad I felt.<br /> The boutique closed down and I admit to some happiness about that! It was part of a small chain of boutiques which I still like and shop at, the women in the other 2 branches I go to are much more pleasant than that one. I suspect actually it closed because the demographic is a bit different in that mall, but I was still happy to see the back of that woman. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407616 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 01:53:26 +0000 Janet 2407616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I felt a bit intimidated the first few times I went into higher end boutiques years ago, even though I was really mostly just looking, but I got over it. I don’t remember any unpleasant attitudes— at least no worse than the indifference of a young cashier at a Zara. ;-D </p> <p>Now I’ll go in anywhere that strikes my fancy — in the states or elsewhere. I’ve made some great discoveries and even met some great people that way. Issey Miyake, Tibi, Stella McCartney, etc. I would have hesitated to walk in them years ago, but I now know better. They are just stores, open to the public, and no one is required to buy anything when they walk in a store, no matter the price point, demographic, or vibe! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407614 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 01:32:06 +0000 Peri 2407614@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dee, I still don't care about any of that! If they get all hopeful, that's their problem...but I also think they are used to everything. If someone is rude I definitely leave, but if someone is just trying too hard I simply say "I'm just browsing, thanks. I'll find you if I need any help." But I also imagine some of the hovering might be because of shoplifting problems. Can't blame them for that.&nbsp;</p> <p>It's all very interesting, but we all have a right to our own comfort level. I guess I feel comfortable being a B in recent years! But also, I don't shop in person nearly as much these days, so maybe I'm overly optimistic about the experience.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407610 Thu, 05 Mar 2026 00:11:50 +0000 Dee 2407610@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PERI - All excellent points, however, the reason I really wanted to go into these designer stores was mostly just out of curiosity, I had no intention of buying. So, I'm not really feeling unworthy, its more about not giving false hope of a sale to some of these sales associates. I find it uncomfortable extracting myself from clerks trying to sell me on something. I prefer to browse at my own leisure and have assistance when I choose it. However, that being said, that particular Chanel boutique I mentioned earlier in the thread, still feels way too intimidating for my comfort level lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation/page/2#post-2407609 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 22:59:21 +0000 Jenni NZ 2407609@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That has happened to me too J’Aileen! I don’t forget these bad experiences in stores and there would have to be an excellent reason why I might try again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407608 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 22:46:01 +0000 JAileen 2407608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A few years ago, I went out to lunch with a friend, and afterwards we went to a local shop nearby that my friend recommended. &nbsp;The SA was rude. &nbsp;I did not buy anything, and I’ve never been back. &nbsp;I doubt I’ll ever go back. &nbsp;They lost a potential customer forever. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407597 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 19:28:06 +0000 Peri 2407597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>On the other hand Jenni…you are a Dr and they are a store clerk so who legit gets to feel more proud of their accomplishments. So that’s turning the snobbery around if it ever really existed. Not that you’d have that attitude, I’m just investigating the stereotype of store clerks feeling superior. I’m betting very few do, I think it’s all in our heads. Maybe pretty woman messed with a whole generation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407591 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 18:59:53 +0000 Jenni NZ 2407591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You’re right Peri, the feeling that they could be like the SA in Pretty Woman was my own feeling. I felt intimidated by the occasional perfectly coiffed blonde in some of these places. It’s women who very clearly spend a lot more time and money on their appearance than I do. I think I have got over that feeling. I comfort myself by thinking of all the time and money (and angst) that I have saved. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407584 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 17:31:49 +0000 Peri 2407584@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember shopping with my mother when I was in probably my early 30s and was very easily intimidated. I said something to her along the lines of feeling like I'm not allowed in the chic high end boutique we were in and she replied, "don't worry, you're with me and they know what I'm wearing." She wasn't at all that way when I was growing up but their income and her shopping had risen dramatically at some point and she was feeling her oats. Proving she was their level of customer conquered her intimidation but if you think about it, that still gives the clerks the power. She had to feel like she had proven to them that she was good enough.</p> <p>For me, I got over it probably some time near 50. I honestly don't care. Not that I go in those stores that often, but if I want to look, I go in and look. What are they going to do. They don't know me, I don't know them, who cares. If they want to write about me later, they will describe me as some middle aged woman who did some thing. They don't know my name so that has no impact on me at all.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also wonder, who IRL has actually experienced a Pretty Woman type of reception? Feeling intimidated might be one sided. It is so much in the interest of a store clerk to make a sale that it's hard to believe they are turning people away based on a first impression. I've only ever found people to be helpful if I get to the point of asking.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407419 Sun, 01 Mar 2026 03:36:03 +0000 Jaime 2407419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I used to be so intimidated to go into shops. I remember my much younger self hestitating to go into perfectly normal boutiques (not Chanel!). Somewhere along the line I outgrew this, not sure how, but I still haven't gone into anything like Chanel. (Nor have I really been tempted.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407404 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 21:39:23 +0000 Dee 2407404@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LJP- Yes, I would imagine these high end sales associates would have a few good tales to tell.<br /> SUZ- I have been to Holts and was surprised at how they've segregated the main floor into smaller designer boutiques. The Chanel boutique looked the most intimidating with their security guards, fancy glass door entry and no real customers browsing. I definitely wasn't going to wander in there.<br /> Haha, yes, Sephora is another place I don't feel that comfortable browsing in. Too much sales pressure there. Funny enough, back in high school I used to work part-time in the cosmetics department of a big chain drugstore. Go figure.<br /> LISA- Glad you feel comfortable shopping wherever your fancy takes you. I think a lot of my apphrension might be because I'm an introvert, so I often feel a little out of my element. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407394 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 19:22:58 +0000 Lisa 2407394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not intimidated going into any store. I've had helpful/attentive and non helpful/non attentive SAs in stores at all price points. My motto is if I want to go in and the door's unlocked, then I will! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407385 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 18:40:27 +0000 Suz 2407385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting thread.&nbsp;</p> <p>I rarely, rarely, rarely walk into one of the really high end stores, but not so much because I'm intimidated. More because I know I can't afford anything there.&nbsp;</p> <p>But&nbsp; <b>Dee</b>, I do share your desire to see and even touch some of these products, so my solution is Holt Renfrew. It feels less intimidating to wander about the boutiques in a department store setting. I used to do this at the old Creeds in Toronto, too, when I was a teen/ in my early-20s and definitely could not afford the merchandise. I learned so much about differences in quality (and how even designer goods can be cheaply made). I also -- once in a while -- got a great bargain, much to my surprise! I treasured those few items for years. Back then I also did it at <i>The Room</i> in the old Simpson's. Later I could do it at&nbsp; Nordstrom's in Vancouver for a few short years.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't feel intimidated at all going into a store whose primary demographic is younger people. Sometimes the sales staff ignore me (which I don't mind -- it allows me to browse) and sometimes they are friendly and even offer compliments.&nbsp;</p> <p>I would probably feel intimidated in a jewellery store or makeup store because I don't really wear much of either and don't know the first thing.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407381 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 17:57:41 +0000 LJP 2407381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Amy Odell writes a substack (although it's recently been moved to a new platform the name of which &nbsp;I can't recall ) called Back Row , and one of her regular features is stories from former employees of uber high end retail stores. &nbsp;It's so entertaining - as you can imagine. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407380 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 17:45:18 +0000 Dee 2407380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AVICENNIA- Looks like your determination is quite helpful for you. I might need to get some of that determination myself.<br /> ELENA- Glad you can relate, and thats exactly why I loved department stores too. There's freedom to browse and you could easily peruse the various designers with very little scrutiny. At Galleries Lafayette in Paris, I had great time getting up close with all the stores high end designs and nobody gave me any snooty looks.<br /> JAILEEN- How fun to get to sample lots of their jewelry. Glad to hear that they were so accommodating despite how one dresses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407376 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 17:20:09 +0000 elena 2407376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jaileen, Tiffany’s is great that way. You can be dressed any old way, looking at the cheapest things in the store, and they’re always extremely gracious and welcoming. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407375 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 17:13:54 +0000 JAileen 2407375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Years ago, I was with my SIL who was getting a locket to put a picture of her husband. &nbsp;He had been killed in a plane crash. &nbsp;We were living in Houston, so naturally we went to the Galleria Mall. &nbsp;She found what she wanted at Tiffany. &nbsp;Then she wanted something engraved on it and we waited while they did it. &nbsp;While we waited, we tried on jewelry. &nbsp;Lots and lots. &nbsp;I found I liked trillion diamonds, which were triangular diamonds put on either side of whatever central stone. &nbsp;We were dressed in our regular weekend clothes and were treated very nicely. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407368 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 16:40:29 +0000 elena 2407368@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate to the hesitancy, definitely. I feel it at different places at times. Certainly going into stores that are too “young” - you know, every top is tiny and cropped, everyone’s under 25, what am I doing here, agh - and in that situation, if there’s nothing interesting I usually walk right back out. But I hate that I don’t want anyone to judge me for spending 5 minutes looking at clothes I’m too “old” for. </p> <p>At other times, I hesitate going into boutiques if I don’t want to be approached by over-eager salespeople. I’m a picky shopper and I don’t like to be steered or put in a position where I’m saying “no, that’s not for me” a million times. I vastly prefer to be left alone to do my thing. I think there was a discussion about department stores recently. They are the best thing for browsing without being bothered! </p> <p>Stores that are too expensive or exclusive I tend to avoid because I get sort of annoyed by the prices of often quite ordinary clothes. I have gone in to a few places to get an idea of the sizing and quality of designer brands that I’ll then search out at a discount or second-hand. There is that scrutiny though, so again I prefer department stores for that kind of thing (and for a huge array of designers at great discounts, check out Century 21 in NYC, it’s like the best of all worlds. I wish there were more stores like that in more places!). </p> <p>In all of these situations, I realize it’s a “me” problem. I could really go anywhere without caring if I’m being judged or feeling awkward, but sometimes it’s hard to do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407366 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 15:34:02 +0000 avicennia 2407366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Dee, I understand your hesitation and might feel the same at Chanel— although it’s not my jam. The only high-end shop that I go into regularly is Santa Fe Dry Goods (and just 3-4 times a year). Think Dries van Noten, The Row, Yamamoto plus more niche designers - like Daniela Gregis and Nina+Rina. The staff there are lovely and I occasionally buy things. I’m quite determined and scan things quickly (I usually have family waiting for me impatiently in the plaza). My “determined on a mission air” might help staff take me seriously. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407365 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 14:25:47 +0000 Irina 2407365@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Dee</b>, I understand completely. I go to those stores during sales like Black Friday and Boxing Week. Knowing that if I like something, I could potentially buy it, gives me more confidence.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407359 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 11:36:36 +0000 Dee 2407359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IRINA- This mall has them all, Anine Bing, Sandro, Maje, Max Mara, Zadig &amp; Voltaire, Veronica Beard, Longchamp and even more. I'd love to go in and actually see the quality of these products for myself and decide if they are worth the price even at a discount because expensive doesn't always mean better these days but I do feel somewhat scrutinized in these kinds of stores. Its my own issue really.<br /> CAROLE- &nbsp;So many malls are being torn down these days, and it was quite surprising that they even went ahead and built this one in the first place but this mall does offer 4 hour free parking which is really great considering its in the middle of a busy city, where parking is usually at a premium. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407349 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 03:57:35 +0000 Irina 2407349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don’t know if I would feel intimidated. I don’t go to stores &nbsp;just to browse, if I don’t have any intention of buying. I have a good idea of the price points for the brands and I’m not really curious about those that I can’t afford.&nbsp;<div>I went to Cartier last year to look for a gift and SA was really nice and helpful. It was my one and probably the only visit to such high end store. I would not hesitate to go to any store if I plan to buy something. I went to GANNI, Zadig &amp; Voltaire, Anine Bing, brands that I buy, although only on a deep discount.&nbsp;</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407347 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 03:44:55 +0000 Carol 2407347@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>They razed the indoor mall in my hometown, and replaced it with an outdoor walking mall. People shopped there much less--it seems the tendency is to put pricey shops in newer malls, while older malls were more for everyone.&nbsp;</p> <p>Funnily enough, they also put a bunch of restaurants in the same shopping center, and it became huge with the dinner crowd. My guess--because mall parking is easier than downtown parking.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407346 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 03:25:07 +0000 Debbie 2407346@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will go n anywhere. Sometimes I think I just want to look. It gives m ideas for purchases later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407342 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 02:04:51 +0000 Dee 2407342@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>JENNI NZ- Good for you, you're bolder than me. I was much bolder when I was younger. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407341 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 01:46:27 +0000 Dee 2407341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks all, nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. </p> <p>ROBERTA- You’re right, there are some stores where not being a certain age demographic does make it feel kind of awkward looking around.<br /> MSMARY- Happy to hear that you had a wonderful experience at LV in Paris.<br /> LJP- So true, being our age, there really is no reason but somehow our own perceptions can hold us back. I too would like to go in and just browse around but I feel sort of like a fraud going in there knowing full well that I'm not really going to buy anything.<br /> AQUAMARINE- I agree that we are often judged by appearance and I will usually dress nicely but I'm definitely not wearing the high end brands, I know it and they know it.<br /> KAREN23- Yep, shopping can definitely be awkward at times.<br /> ANGIE- I'm not surprised that as a experienced fashion stylist this would ever be an issue for you and yes, I'm pretty fortunate that I've got some great shopping that suits me nearby.<br /> JUDY- I also find those intimate little boutiques equally intimidating. The staff is often so eager to get you buy something, it's very off putting. I need my space. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407338 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 01:05:01 +0000 Jenni NZ 2407338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I certainly used to feel that some SAs were very snooty like the one in Pretty Woman who wouldn’t sell to Julia Roberts’ character. I have become bolder now I’m older (shout out to Carla!) and happily will enter some of those designer stores, but I know I won’t pay that sort of money so there is not much point in more than a quick glance around. I did have a lovely time in a Tiffany’s in Auckland City though when I was considering watches a bit more seriously. They were extremely pleasant.<br /> Otherwise I by far prefer my smaller local malls! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-intimidation#post-2407334 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 00:47:40 +0000 judy 2407334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I too feel awkward at some places that are too intimate, or too expensive or the store and staff just give off a vibe of exclusivity somehow.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p>