https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 23:34:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-973382 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 15:33:24 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 973382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know, I totally understand how you feel. &nbsp;&nbsp; I think it's typical of nicely-mannered people to feel badly, and to even wonder if they did something to warrant the rudeness. &nbsp; &nbsp; And the answer is NO.&nbsp; &nbsp; You are a customer, you weren't making unreasonable demands, you didn't leave the fitting room in shambles, and you're a regular customer of this boutique.&nbsp; &nbsp; Even if you don't buy anything, your presence attracts other people and gives a positive image of a successful and interesting business - which makes them money.&nbsp; &nbsp; Think of the times you've passed a store, saw other shoppers, paused and went in.&nbsp; &nbsp; <br />When I wrote the review of the restaurant, a part of me felt terrible doing it - so I tried very hard to keep it objective and impartial.&nbsp; &nbsp; Someone being rude and unpleasant to a customer (and/or using profanity!) is not acceptable.&nbsp;&nbsp; But I believe reviews are very important, because most of us have limited funds to spend.&nbsp; &nbsp; For my part, I don't want to drop money at a place where the staff is going to be unpleasant to me, especially when there are still a lot of locally-owned small boutiques with nice people, struggling to make it, who can use my business.</p> <p>If you decide to write a review, and want a viewpoint as to the objectivity and fairness of your words, I'm happy to assist </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-973314 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 14:34:02 +0000 Lyrebirdgully 973314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you everyone for your kind words, and for sharing your<br /> thoughts on what happened.Rae, Firecracker, christieanne, rachylou and Krista, thanks for bringing me the view from the other side of the register. Handing back an unhung garment directly to the SA sounds like a good approach overall, and I will take this line in future (although I suspect that with this particular SA there was nothing I could have done that would have&nbsp;been acceptable….) Dianthus, the response you suggested would have been great, if only I had thought of it at the time!</p> <p>LaBelle, Caro, Deborah and Lynne, you are right about a&nbsp;letter/review being appropriate - but the thought of doing that makes me feel anxious,<br /> so I won’t be pursuing it. I had heard anyway that the boutique owner will be<br /> retiring fully in the near future, so it’s likely that the business will close/be sold – which is just as well.</p> <p>Peri, Sveta, Angie, G-Pig, Debora, BethAnn, MNsara, T-Shannon,Lyn, Suz, Shevia, thanks for being so sympathetic and reassuring. It’s easy to slide into selfdoubt and confusion when something that is completely unexpected like this takes place. The support in the comments has really helped me feel &nbsp;lighter about this. It will be good to face boutique shopping again without feeling I need to overhaul my shopping manners!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972740 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:44:18 +0000 Debora 972740@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Unbelievable. You handled the situation graciously, and the shop was entirely at fault in this instance. So sorry you were treated so rudely. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972737 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:41:09 +0000 lynne 972737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Caro gave great advice. A letter to the owner is in order. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972279 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 01:35:50 +0000 Deborah 972279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Caro, I would write a letter to the owner. That behavior is inexcusable! Technically in this scenario, they exist for you, not the other way round. I'm not sure I could have stayed and purchased the top, you were VERY gracious. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972267 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 01:25:35 +0000 Jaime 972267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have received great advice. I will just add a bit of sympathy as that sort of customer service used to be more of the norm here (in Israel). In general the boundaries between the professional and personal are very loose and it would be quite normal for a sales person to grumble this way. Things have changed over the years but that sort of treatment is very disconcerting. Anyway, in case you are not yet convinced, you clearly did nothing wrong and the owner should be sorry to lose you as a customer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972242 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 00:55:42 +0000 Caro in Oz 972242@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would send a letter of complaint to the owner &amp; let her know you've told everyone you know If I was the owner I wouldn't want to employ anyone who treated a customer like that but obviously this owner has other ideas. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972203 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 23:27:00 +0000 Suz 972203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is very sad, but true, that sometimes small boutiques go out of business because customers go, quite reasonably expecting personal attention and service - and instead get treated rudely. You did nothing wrong here. On the contrary. I am sorry you had this unsettling experience.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972100 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 20:38:10 +0000 rae 972100@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great idea, Rachy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-972097 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 19:58:43 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 972097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a sales associate (though not in a clothing store), and I agree, you acted properly. Often sales people would rather put the clothes back on the hangers, because they have certain ways they do it. It's up to the sales staff to make customers feel welcome and comfortable in a store, as well as to help them find merchandise that fits their needs and desires. This sales staff did none of these things for you. If I were you, I'd consider writing a review online that gives your honest appraisal of their service. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971975 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 16:49:04 +0000 rachylou 971975@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm. Well, one should of course treat very nicely items that are not theirs. No crumpling, wadding up, and throwing in corners on the floor. (I hear the big box dressing rooms, "customers" use them as toilets on a regular basis - ack! TMI!) If something is difficult to put back on the hanger, it might be ideal to hand the hanger and garment to the SA.</p> <p>But in ladies fashion esp, the staff's job is to suck it up. Fawn even. I once worked in a consignment boutique and quit because the owners, manager, and buyers were so incredibly catty. Every day a hen party. They had a buying room that was made of half walls - didn't go up to the ceiling. They'd sit there and snark about the customers standing right there, like we couldn't all hear them. They were disgusting people and it's appalling they're still in business two decades later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971963 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 16:28:33 +0000 rae 971963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm horrified by this salesperson's treatment of you. You did <i>nothing</i> wrong at all!&nbsp;</p> <p>What is the job of the salesperson/owner if not to provide adequate fitting rooms, purchase stock that shoppers will buy, and properly hang/fold/display the items? If this person just wants to sit around and work a cash register, then to put it bluntly, she should go work at a shop with no clothing!</p> <p>It is not the shopper's responsibility to buy. It is not the shopper's responsibility to clean the store. It is not the shopper's responsibility to defer to another customer. Period. The burden of service is on the party hoping to make a profit, after all!</p> <p>The only things I can think of that I've seen and thought rude were if shoppers had food in the fitting room and got it on clothes or&nbsp;disregarded store policy and tried on swimwear/lingerie&nbsp;without undergarments and soiled them. In my mind almost anything else is chalked up to the customer's preference on how to shop.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971953 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 16:16:18 +0000 lyn* 971953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Likewise, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think the SA needs to find a different type of work.</p> <p>Here, she'd be lucky if the customer didn't leave the clothes in a pile in the fitting room on the floor! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971944 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 16:00:34 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 971944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think I would have been as nice as you were.&nbsp; I would have noted the brand and style and taken the item to the owner to tell her that as much as I wanted the garment, I would not buy it from her shop because I would get better customer service from an anonymous online retailer.&nbsp; Then I would.</p> <p>You did nothing wrong and sound like a dream of a customer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971939 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 15:53:40 +0000 christieanne 971939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's them, not you. If my employees acted that way it would be grounds for a huge retraining on service - and they are not the owners of a business. </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971927 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 15:16:09 +0000 Transcona Shannon 971927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wouldn't be going back either. My grandfather used to run a small general store in his hometown and he always said "everyone walking through that door is potential money in my pocket so I'm polite to everyone". Some folks need to learn that way of thinking.</p> <p>It was NOT you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971897 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 14:27:15 +0000 MNsara 971897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You did nothing wrong!&nbsp; Shame on the owner too, for letting the SA treat any potential customer that way!!&nbsp; (Unless the SA was corrected by the owner after you left the store.)</p> <p>You sound like you've been a fine shopper all along and if you took a moment to apologize for being too rushed <i>to do the SA's job</i>, I hope she felt a big pang of regret&nbsp;for treating you without courtesy!</p> <p>So you know you're not alone -- we have a knitting/yarn shoppe in my little town and the owner is an absolute b***h!&nbsp; In the early days of cell phones, she would shout across her tiny store to 'turn that thing off' if your cell phone even rang!&nbsp; and heaven forbid if you wanted to answer it while walking toward the door!&nbsp; She was/is nasty, nasty, nasty to people and I have yet to figure out why that business is still in existence!&nbsp; (A lot of specialty yarns and a large mail order business?)&nbsp; Anyway, I've decided that just because someone is an entrepreneur, it does NOT mean they are a good manager, good boss, etc.!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971896 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 14:27:04 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 971896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nope, you did nothing wrong, and the fact that you were still courteous in the face of such snotty attitudes, speaks volumes for your fine manners.</p> <p>I went to a pub-type restaurant for lunch, where the manager waited on us,&nbsp; continually harrassed me, while he tried to hit on my friend.&nbsp; My friends and I were very uncomfortable the entire time.&nbsp; He kept trying to upsell us on alcoholic drinks (at noon on a Tuesday), and I kept saying, no, thank you.&nbsp; &nbsp; I gave him a $3 tip for a $7 sandwich, (nearly a 50% tip) for something that he only had to walk over and set in front of me.&nbsp; &nbsp; He accused me of not liking the sandwich (such was his tone), because&nbsp; had not eaten every last bite of it (it was HUGE), and he told me, as I was picking up my purse and keys on the way out, that I was "a sh@tty tipper" - only he said the actual word.&nbsp; &nbsp; I was appalled, and I went home, and wrote up my experience on two dining sites.&nbsp; My friend has been back to the restaurant twice, and has not seen the guy there.</p> <p>I tell you this, because I want you to understand - nobody should be treated like this by a business establishment.&nbsp; &nbsp; They are there to sell you a good or service.&nbsp;&nbsp; When you walk into someone's store or restaurant, ready to spend your hard-earned money, and your behavior is civilized and well-mannered, you should not expect or accept insults in return.</p> <p>I would write a review of this place online - maybe condense what you have written above.&nbsp; &nbsp; I am certain you are not the only person treated by this boutique in this manner, and nobody should be put through that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971895 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 14:22:25 +0000 Beth Ann 971895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If they were so concerned about losing other customers, why were they using a changing room for storage?&nbsp; Some small retailers enter the business because they love fashion and shopping, but they don't love working with people.&nbsp; Many of these, naturally, don't make a lot of money treating a business like a personal hobby, and they probably experience some frustration as a result.</p> <p>A boutique experience should make every customer feel special.&nbsp; Usually, the prices are a bit higher, but we accept that because we get a personal investment from the staff.&nbsp; Heck, if I were working there, and you were the only customer, I'd tell you to let me rehang the items for you.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971894 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 14:21:01 +0000 goldenpig 971894@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't go back. You did nothing wrong and the SA is in the wrong line of work.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971889 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 14:13:05 +0000 Angie 971889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(((HUGS))). It's not your fault at all. No need to hang back items if you're rushed. </p> <p>This type of customer service is not uncommon in some parts of the world. But it would never fly in the US and places like Hong Kong, Japan, Taiwan and Singapore, where customer service is virtually an art form. </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971881 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 13:48:15 +0000 Krista 971881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><i></i>What Peri said. &nbsp;</p> <p>Having worked retail for several years to put myself through university and beyond, I know what it's like to clean out fitting rooms after someone has tried on the entire store and left it in a pile on the fitting room floor.&nbsp;It's tough, but it's certainly not the end of the world, and this is not something you did! &nbsp;In addition, it's the SA's job to maintain the store in an organized fashion, including putting clothing back on the hanger properly. &nbsp;When I'm shopping, I do my best to give back unwanted items in the best possible condition - folding when necessary, putting them back on the hanger as best I can - but it's not always perfect. This SA was out of line to make such a comment and the store certainly doesn't deserve your business any further. &nbsp;I'm sorry that this was your experience, but I don't think you have anything to worry about; it sounds like you are an extremely conscientious shopper and that is certainly appreciated by SA's. &nbsp;Just not this one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971878 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 13:45:23 +0000 Sveta 971878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It reminded me of retail "service" back home in communist country when customers were a burden and annoyance. <br />Even if you did not put the top back completely right it was not the cause to be rude - actually I cannot think of any excuse for that!<br />Don't beat yourself up, I agree with Peri - she is in the wrong business! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971877 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 13:37:08 +0000 Peri 971877@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sounds to me like you are blaming yourself for someone else's problem. You were courteous, she was rude. She may be in the wrong business. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-etiquette-do-i-need-to-lift-my-game#post-971871 Sat, 06 Jul 2013 13:05:52 +0000 Lyrebirdgully 971871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Today in a boutique the SA said something rude to me.</p> <p>&nbsp;This has never happened&nbsp;to me before, and I am wondering if, in my decades of shopping, I have developed&nbsp;an insensitive attitude when boutique shopping. &nbsp;I know quite a few of you have retail work experience,&nbsp;&nbsp;and I would appreciate your opinion on appropriate shopper behaviour.<br /> I enjoy shopping so I am usually in a happy mood in store. I often exchange<br /> pleasantries about fashion with SAs at the checkout.&nbsp;Even when I don’t buy anything, I make a point of thanking&nbsp;the staff for all their help. But perhaps I have developed into&nbsp;an annoying shopper&nbsp;without ever knowing it. Perhaps other SAs in the past would have liked to say&nbsp;something similar to me, but didn’t dare.</p> <p>&nbsp;The story:</p> <p>&nbsp;Whenever I’ve dropped&nbsp;in over the years, the boutique in question&nbsp;has always been staffed by the owner and her SA;both women are of retirement age. I have&nbsp;never found them as&nbsp;"warm" as most&nbsp;retail staff you meet,&nbsp;but I do think I have always been friendly and&nbsp;courteous to them.&nbsp;The stock<br /> veers to the plus-sized (I am not plus sized) so there is not a lot of choice for&nbsp;me-- I have only bought &nbsp;about 2 or 3&nbsp;things over&nbsp;say 5&nbsp;years--but I am always attracted by&nbsp;the stock, which has a lot of flair, and I am always hopeful.The shop is near my&nbsp;hairdresser who is some distance away from my home,so I only ever go there after my hair&nbsp;appointment. I always “style up” when I get my hair done, so I like to think&nbsp;that I present as fairly fashion-conscious whenever I have been to this shop. I&nbsp;know I won’t get another chance to go back there till next haircut, so I always have a&nbsp;pretty thorough look through the racks, and usually pick out quite a few things&nbsp;to try on.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;Last time I was there&nbsp;I found about 10 things to try. The shop has 2 change rooms, but on the last few&nbsp;occasions, one of them has been unusable because of stock in plastic bags&nbsp;hanging on the changeroom curtain rail. &nbsp;Usually&nbsp;there is no other customer in the shop. While I was changeing , I heard the SA&nbsp;saying to a customer that the changeroom was occupied and that she would have&nbsp;to wait. The customer was gone when I emerged, so evidently she decided to leave instead. I had the impression that the SA<br /> was miffed that I did not buy anything after “causing” a potential paying<br /> customer to leave.</p> <p>This time (2months later)&nbsp;when I walked in and started picking out garments<br /> from the racks, the shop owner said to me “ 3 garments only, thank you”. I<br /> guess she (or the SA) remembered what had happened last time. I said “of<br /> course, no problem” and complied. I only wanted to try 3 items, as it turned out.While I was in the changeroom the SA said (from outside) that I could hang the&nbsp;unwanted items on the changeroom curtain rail (there was nowhere else to put&nbsp;them anyway) and I said “certainly”.</p> <p>&nbsp;I looked at my watch,saw I was getting short of time to get to&nbsp;my next<br /> appointment, so I hurriedly put the first unwanted top on its hanger and slipped&nbsp;it onto the end of the curtain rail. The long sleeves were not pulled through&nbsp;properly, but I figured I didn’t have time to do that. The SA took it, and then I heard her say from the other side of the curtain, loudly enough for anyone in&nbsp;the shop to hear, “Couldn’t even be bothered to hang it up properly!” </p> <p>I was ready to march out in high dudgeon –-but I wanted to buy<br /> the third top, so I swallowed my pride, wrangled the second unwanted top that kept slipping off, back onto its hanger, and went calmly&nbsp;to the register. I had to pass the SA, so I apologised to her, saying&nbsp;“Sorry I struggled to put that top on the hanger; I’m actually in a&nbsp;bit of a hurry.” She did not reply. I paid the owner in a polite professional manner&nbsp;(no chit-chat this time) and left. I won’t be going back.</p> <p>&nbsp;What is the proper&nbsp;and mostrespectful way to go about trying on garments in a boutique? Should I always&nbsp;hang each garment back properly on its hanger? Am I also supposed to put it&nbsp;back on the rack it came from? Have I become&nbsp;lazy through too much chain store shopping, where<br /> the SA’s take your unwanted, unhung garments&nbsp;with a smile, saying “Don’t worry about that, I’ll fix it”? Those of you with boutique<br /> experience, what does a “good customer” do ? &nbsp;what should I avoid doing in the future? I don’t&nbsp;want to offend retail staff, so all suggestions are welcome.</p>