https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 20:48:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1163297 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 06:55:15 +0000 KT 1163297@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anniemouse, I am new to YLF and have been turning this over in the back of my mind since I first read it a few days ago -- thank you so much for this thoughtful honest post!. The topic feels so important. The urge for finding something new is so deeply intertwined with enjoying clothes that its hard to tell what is what. I get mygirl and alaskgirl and regret the amount of time spent browsing and choosing and returning. I haven't read the bools recommended by E but I will, now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1162534 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:29:37 +0000 AnnieMouse 1162534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I want to thank everyone for their helpful, thoughtful, and kind words. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1161417 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 01:49:08 +0000 Lantana 1161417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm coming back to this thread for the wide spectrum of practical strategies.<br /> I like Style Fan's analogy with art, that really struck a chord with me.<br /> I am also reminded of William Morris and his idea of only having things in your life that are beautiful or practical. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1161376 Sun, 09 Feb 2014 00:51:34 +0000 Style Fan 1161376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I admire your honesty.&nbsp; Thank you for your post.&nbsp;&nbsp;For me I found a strategy that worked.&nbsp; I will share it and maybe it will be useful.&nbsp; I love to shop and I love fashion.&nbsp; It is a form of art for me.&nbsp; I know in the past I shopped too much when I was in a difficult situation.&nbsp; I will skip the 30 years of insights.&nbsp; I never bought really expensive clothes but I tended towards the mid range.&nbsp; Then I tried on some high end clothes and feel in love with them.&nbsp; My strategy has been to buy fewer items but really amazing clothes.&nbsp; I don't go into stores that sell anything but high end clothes.&nbsp; Weird but it works for me.&nbsp; I bought a Burberry Trench Coat 10 years ago and wore it today.&nbsp; I love it as much as I did the day I bought it.</p> <p>The best analogy would be art.&nbsp; We buy original art and not prints.&nbsp; When I was younger I bought prints but now I buy original art.&nbsp; I love art and&nbsp;originals provides us with an experience that prints could not.</p> <p>I remember reading somewhere that French women have a few very good items.&nbsp; I strive to be French.&nbsp; We love Montreal and speak terrible French.&nbsp; I will practice my French and shop for fewer pieces of&nbsp;very good clothing.</p> <p></p> <p>I found a strategy that worked for me.&nbsp; I buy original art and very good clothing..&nbsp; No I am not rich.&nbsp; I bought maybe 5 pieces last year and that included 2 pairs of shoes for my poor feet.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1161292 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 22:10:35 +0000 goldenpig 1161292@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread and you are so brave to admit it. My wardrobe is so huge, I could probably stop shopping for the next 5 or 10 years and still have plenty of clothes to wear. I still like new things though! I'm trying not to shop any more but I have trouble with being on SYC, it just makes me want to shop more, so I am not declaring an official SYC, but I am trying to be really careful and not acquire too much. I don't even have time to wear all the clothes I do have! I'm also trying to organize the house, so it's making me want to pare down in the wardrobe department too. It's hard to get rid of the things I love, though, especially if I'm not going to be shopping much.</p> <p>Great thoughts and insights in this thread! I think we all struggle with this to some degree. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1161264 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 21:15:37 +0000 Lyn D. 1161264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for this honest and thought-provoking thread!<br />It has been on my mind since I first book-marked it, and time has now permitted me to read all the responses.<br />It reminds me that 'no question is a silly question' because although you feel alone, there are many of us (including me) who sometimes feel out of control with our spending! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160985 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 08:16:11 +0000 Ingunn 1160985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree - this thread provides valuable insight and wisdom. I too struggle with my shopping habits and overspending. Thank you for being braver than me and put this into words. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160980 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 07:21:54 +0000 Greyscale 1160980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I agree with Lantana - this has been a very valuable thread for me and I hope it is for you too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160963 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 06:25:12 +0000 Lantana 1160963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AnnieMouse,thank you for being brave and honest. You've started a thread that others value, including me, and I hope it helps you. You've articulated your worries; I hope that means you are moving towards some resolution, which might be action, or might be acceptance, which is not to be confused with defeat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160839 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 02:34:39 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1160839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The seeking behavior stuff makes a lot of sense to me. The evolutionary advantages are obvious. My mother was a very thrifty shopper when I was growing up, with food, our clothes, everything, because she had to be; we didn't have a lot of money to throw around. I think I internalized a lot of that behavior, and do it even when the cost/benefit analysis is not in my favor. It's a habit, as well as a great way to get that dopamine rush of accomplishing something, of being smart and successful in your goals. Not to mention that it's one of those skills that women are often expected to have, if we're dipping our toes into gender stereotypes.</p> <p>There's also the newness factor: a lot of us are fortunate enough to have stable, steady lives most of the time, which is great, but our brains seek novelty. </p> <p>I am definitely a person of serial enthusiasms, and clothes have been one of those things that I have revisited every few years when I get re-interested in them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160765 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 00:56:48 +0000 Caro in Oz 1160765@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you think it would be worthwhile to talk to someone about this? The reason I ask is often with addictive personalities we beat one addiction &amp; another takes its place. Maybe some digging could unearth the root of the addiction.&nbsp;IMO you've shown&nbsp;great courage to articulate &amp;&nbsp;face your&nbsp;problem &amp; it may be helpful to feel supported while you come to grips with it all.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160730 Sat, 08 Feb 2014 00:19:22 +0000 Gaylene 1160730@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Realizing that stuff is just stuff is a big first step in my books. Having to handle two family deaths in the last few months has really made me reflect on why so many of us accumulate so much in our homes and closets. It's hard not to get overwhelmed at the sheer piles of stuff that have to be bundled up to be donated, or placed in the rubbish bin, when someone passes away. </p> <p>I know that my desire for purchasing has declined dramatically after having to cope with other people's possessions--and I'm feeling more than a little aghast at what I might be leaving for someone else to clean up if something happened to me. More stuff just doesn't seem very appealing when seen in that context. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160713 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 23:55:23 +0000 E 1160713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm learning so much from this discussion!</p> <p>Annie, I would say there's a wide, wide world between McMansion living and true&nbsp;minimalism. I'm not a minimalist: I love *stuff*, as in physical objects, and I wouldn't change that. The perfectly shaped bowl makes my soup taste better, my books and knick knacks on my book case make me deeply happy. I love wandering antique stores, and museums,&nbsp;imagining who lived with everything on display. I visit a lot of markets when I travel, and always bring home at least one or two souvenirs for myself.&nbsp;I'm not a wardrobe minimalist either: I love choices and colours and textures and every time I imagine doing something like Project 333 I die a little inside. Some categories, like cookware or electronics or bags/purses or toiletries/make up, I prefer to have just enough for what I need. I don't spend any time browsing/research products like that unless I need something and am trying to find the best price/quality fit for me.&nbsp;Other categories I prefer to have an abundance of. The only limit I place on those is whether I can easily store them all in their allotted space. Luckily, I have very few categories where I crave abundance (books and clothes are the only 2 that come to mind,&nbsp;and the library satisfies a lot of my book desires), so that works well for me.</p> <p>If I attempted to make myself a strict minimalist, it would feel like a battle too. Instead, the books (like Your Money or Your Life, as mtgirl explained) showed me to make sure I was focusing most of my energy on the things that give me a big return. That focusing makes me feel more joyful and content, rather than struggling.&nbsp;Obviously, your shopping interests are broader than mine, and you have more money available to you,&nbsp;so I can understand if it won't work for you (and it's much easier to prioritise what gives you most joy when you have very little extra money, lol).</p> <p>I don't think I have any more suggestions for you, but hopefully you can find &nbsp;a different way to fill your downtime at work at least! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160364 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 18:03:06 +0000 Sarah A 1160364@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you AnnieMouse for this thoughtful discussion. I have come back and forth to it a few times trying to formulate my thoughts but becuase it is hitting so close to home I feel I am avoiding it .... I struggle to find balance in life and thrifting often seems "harmless", but i think in reviewing the big picture it is something i need to keep careful wraps on for myself as well. I am sure i will come back and read the wisdom offered here on many more occasions. Thanks again! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160296 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 16:53:24 +0000 rachylou 1160296@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel the pain. If being a schlep were OK with me and for me, I'm pretty much set for the next 10 years. And having moved to a tiny city apartment a few years ago, I <i>have </i>cut way way down... Yet still, every week I have a desire for a little something, and I find myself asking myself, <i>"What am I doing?!"</i></p> <p>I've spent a lot of time recently getting rid of stuff (a huge multi-yr project in and of itself) that's kept me a little busy. I am also telling myself I can't buy anything until I know what I'm doing and trying to achieve. I have made a date for Peter Pilotto at Target, and it's a blackout until then (although I've already fumbled there by buying a colourful "seconds" beanie). </p> <p>I read something about going for experiences, not things. I'm trying to keep that in mind too... although, of course, that does mean I ate hipster donuts <i>three times</i> last week. I'm making an effort to cook dinner and prepare a breakfast and lunch for the next day, which has kept me in weekday evenings (except for the beanie buy)...</p> <p>...the one thing about shopping is that I'm on my feet moving around and the looking entertains my brain. Hard to get all that with a book (and I'm a huge reader) or hobby like knitting or walking the dog in the dark or spin-cycling at a gym.</p> <p>I guess the deal is, gotta get ahead of the impulse. And maybe slow down a bit. Don't know. There was this episode of <i>House</i> once... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160281 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 16:31:49 +0000 viva 1160281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Annie, I've been dipping in and out of this post since it began and nodding my head the whole time. I'm over here waving at you -- 17 years sober, about as long smoke-free, constantly battling the sugar thing ... I hear you loud and clear. </p> <p>The triggers are familiar and so common ... hungry, angry, lonely, tired ... add in bored or overwhelmed, and it's all there. With the Internet, access is immediate. And it's all so easy to rationalize!</p> <p>After a few months on YLF I decided to closely track purchases in 2014. I have a pretty healthy clothing budget, but I wanted to really watch where the money was going. So I am keeping a running tab -- a list of the items I buy, with prices, in a journal that sits in front of me on my desk. And as January wound down I was pretty overwhelmed at where I stood, budget-wise. I knew I could not sustain the year at that pace, and I also knew that much of the purchasing was emotional: in reaction to seasonal depression, cabin fever, and seasonally slow work pace. </p> <p>So I basically did my equivalent of "go to a meeting," and I turned to my little resolution group. I have a small group of friends, including my husband, and we are tackling the New Year's Resolution thing one month at a time -- you set a resolution for the month, tell the group what it is, and then at the end of the month let the group know how you did. It's all about accountability and support, without judgement. I went to the group and made February a "clothing-purchase free" month. It was humbling, but I needed it. I know that I need the space to free my mind up a bit, to get back in balance financially for the year and also to be able to reframe my approach to buying. I just need a month to take a breath, and this group helped me do it. </p> <p>I hope that reaching out to the YLF group has helped you in the same way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160254 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 16:00:14 +0000 Suz 1160254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for continuing this discussion -- Claudia, that's fascinating stuff, and makes a lot of sense. And Beth Ann, as ever I am tremendously moved by your wisdom. Ditto to the rest of you.&nbsp;</p> <p>Annie, I am thinking the "alternative escape route" could still work, if it were a healthy one. But just identifying boredom as part of the problem is huge and very helpful. I understand absolutely about the overwhelmed part, too. I think we tend to seek rewards when we are feeling that way.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160244 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 15:52:58 +0000 Beth Ann 1160244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Balance is a beautiful thing, but it is never static, but always dynamic, requiring myriads of tiny adjustments to appear so effortless.</p> <p>That's true when I'm standing on a bosu ball, or trying to sing a high, soaring passage in Handel, planning my meals, or juggling my spiritual and life priorities.&nbsp; I find making many mini-corrections throughout my day restores my "balance" better than one humongous effort to "get things right one and for all."&nbsp; </p> <p>One of the best things about 12 step programs is their focus on the present.&nbsp; I've not struggled with addiction, but I certainly need that reminder.&nbsp;&nbsp; It's easier to say, "I'm going to enjoy the clothing I have for today," than to say, "I'm not buying anything for a month."&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160240 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 15:50:06 +0000 JAileen 1160240@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are lots of great insights here. If you are addictive (or have enthusiasms) then you need something new that is free or inexpensive. You just have to figure out what that might be. I'm taking up the guitar. Whenever I'm at loose ends, I can pick it up and learn and practice. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160231 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 15:35:32 +0000 Anonymous 1160231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We cross posted. My life is not busy. I am a stay at home mom with two kids in high school. I have chosen a very simple life, yet I was still struggling with this last month.</p> <p>I agree though that it was definitely escapism! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160229 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 15:31:34 +0000 Anonymous 1160229@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that is why the diet mentality doesn't work for me. When I say I "can't" have XXX that is all I can think about. </p> <p>If I say "I choose not to spend my time or money that way" it becomes a positive statement instead of negative. </p> <p>I once heard someone famous (I forgot who LOL) say the following:</p> <p>If you say to a child "don't drop the glass" they are focusing on dropping. If you say "hold the glass with both hands" they focus on holding. </p> <p>Your Money or Your Life principles teach you to look at life differently. You need to look at your life as in "you only have X amount of life energy." How do you want to spend that time? I need to re-read that book too! It is sitting on my nightstand as a decoration. </p> <p>Living life in a "primal/paleo" way has helped me too:<br /> <a href="http://www.marksdailyapple.com/definitive-guide-primal-blueprint/#axzz2seN94WyU" rel="nofollow">http://www.marksdailyapple.com.....z2seN94WyU</a></p> <p>I couldn't have anything with sugar around my house or I would eat it. I looked like I was healthy on the outside, but I was killing my body on the inside. Today my sugar addiction is gone because of the way I have chosen to nourish my body....my cravings didn't go away with willpower. </p> <p>Hope that tangent made sense. </p> <p>Sometimes it is about willpower. Sometimes it is about spiritual surgery which is very difficult. Sometimes it is about nourishing your body with the right food and exercise. If only it was easy to figure out what it is! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr/page/2#post-1160214 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 15:17:34 +0000 AnnieMouse 1160214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was spending a little more time with it this morning, and the SPEND urge comes on when I'm either bored or overwhelmed - I have a lot of downtime at work, and while a lot is blocked from the office, shopping sites aren't, and my life is (like all of us) very hectic. Spending is escapism.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160174 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 14:34:28 +0000 Nebraskim 1160174@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally get the idea of shifting one addictive behavior to another. I shifted a food addiction to an exercise addiction and then probably a shopping addiction. And if not browsing clothing, then yeah...just browsing at Lowe's or Trader Joe's is satisfying. I don't have to buy to satisfy the urge, though. And yes, you can completely stop drugging, drinking, smoking, exercising. But the tricky part is that you must contine to eat, shop even minimally, exercise even minimally, working. The key is figuring out what's excessive for you (and me) and also what your triggers are. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160160 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 14:21:11 +0000 AnnieMouse 1160160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ladies, thank you for the support. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. I'm pretty terrible at responding to people specifically, and a number of thoughts have been reiterated several times, so I will apologise in advance for not addressing specific people as I respond.&nbsp;</p> <p>I love RecoveringShopoholic - and I actually think that's helping me identify the fact that my behaviours aren't typical, because I relate to quite a lot of her struggles.</p> <p>I've spent quite a bit of time over the years reading anti-materialism books - I'm in a constant state of battle, in that I love minimalism and am drawn to it, but when I live in a minimalist way, I'm very, very moody and unhappy. It's very difficult for me to internalise, also, I think, in part&nbsp;<i>because&nbsp;</i>of the time I've spent in recovery - my life hasn't become unmanageable, so Addict Brain allows me to rationalise that it's not a problem behaviour.&nbsp;</p> <p>[Insert off-topic a bit here: for those not familiar with AA or its cohorts, the first step is, quite literally, "we admitted we were powerless over [drug of choice] - that our lives had become unmanageable." In some ways, this language can make it difficult to pinpoint a problem behaviour if it's not actively destroying our lives, because we can be incredibly literal and manipulative, even to ourselves.]</p> <p>Having said that: about twice a year, I DO a 333. I do 30/30 periodically. And I find them fun and interesting.... as long as I know there's an end in sight. Interestingly, I have found that when I'm engaged in these exercises, I shop&nbsp;<b>more.<i>&nbsp;</i></b>Perhaps out of a rebellion to have OMG SOMETHING NEW THANKS BE when I'm done with the limits?</p> <p>I have also identified for myself, in reviewing past behaviours with brutal honesty,&nbsp;that when I limit myself in the realm of shopping for clothes, I will - unwittingly - find myself simply shopping for other things. It's like the moment I say&nbsp;"OK, I am on shopping hiatus! I am not buying any more shoes, because I have more than I can wear now!" I am compelled to spend even more money on projects and gifts (instead of buying 10 pounds of clothing at the thrift store for $15, I will buy new carpeting, to the tune of several hundred dollars) -- which is then followed by a rationalisation of "well, I just spent all this money being responsible... $30 at Ross won't break me at this point." or I'll stock the standing freezer with meat. Which leads me to believe that the problem isn't actually the acquisition of clothing, so much as the shopping itself - in ANY realm. Clothing is just the easiest to identify, I think.&nbsp;</p> <p>With booze or smoking, I can just... Not do it. I can't not buy groceries or go to work naked, and I haven't yet found a way that allows me to do the necessary things without triggering the urge to SPEND in whatever direction I can rationalise.&nbsp;</p> <p>(Sorry to be all fourth step-y at you - you are having to listen to my searching and fearless moral inventory, and being the audience for my admitting. I do appreciate it more than I can tell you, because these are things I haven't really been able to explain or express to my loved ones, because they don't see it as a problem - I'm not in debt, and I regularly cull my closet, so I'm not overwhelmed by it, so it must be ok, to their minds. Thank you so much for allowing me a safe space to discuss this and hash it out - and OH! what a relief it is to have such thoughtful support)<b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160151 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 14:10:43 +0000 Claudia 1160151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It also explains the biology of "serial enthusiasms," and right now I am in the throes of a new&nbsp;orchid obsession this winter. I am loving searching for new varieties of plants, seeking information about their optimum care, diseases, growing problems, propagation,&nbsp;etc. on the web.&nbsp;All the things one does when jumping wholeheartedly into a new interest or hobby.&nbsp;Pretty funny and really interesting when you break it down to all the&nbsp;dopamine hits&nbsp;firing away and fueling it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160144 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 13:51:18 +0000 Janet 1160144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rabbit, excellent thoughts, thank you for sharing. </p> <p>Claudia, thank you for re-introducing that thread, and bringing up the concept of seeking. </p> <p>The "seeking" thing gives me a huge aha moment. My artwork is based on seeking. When I'm in creative mode, I am exploring with my eyes and my camera. In more extreme weather -- like we've had lately -- I just don't do it very much. I end up in my studio processing images on the computer or trying to make myself work on my website, which are not my favorite things to be doing. Shopping is a seeking activity that excites me almost as much as my more creative explorations. It's a treat for my eyes, and I also truly enjoy wearing what I buy. There are not many items in my closet still with tags on (which is a testament to the fact that I'm getting way better at returning an item as soon as I know I'm not in love with it). </p> <p>For me, I am really aware that my tastes have gone up a few notches in quality and price since I've joined YLF. Fortunately, this has not been a problem for our budget, but we're starting to buckle down a bit more as we plan for the next 5-10 years. My closet is in really great shape. I am trying to be more vigilant about my behavior. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160135 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 13:34:26 +0000 Nebraskim 1160135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have put myself on a shopping diet this year and have purchased just two things since mid-December and have only shopped twice. I find Claudia's posting about seeking behavior to be valuable because I love the looking...it can be in any type of store, not just clothing stores. My husband Hates shopping and my love of the hunt with most times no outcome ....I look but do not buy... makes him crazy. Part of it is boredom...there's not much else to do right now. Although I put stuff into purge bags and haul to the charity shop monthly, my goal this year is to do a real hard purge of lots of duplicates. Lots to ponder here. Thanks for starting the commentary. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160129 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 13:22:42 +0000 Suz 1160129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rabbit, I loved what you said. I, too, am a person of serial enthusiasms. Your analysis was spot on for me. And E, I agree -- some of my enthusiasms turn into long-term relationships -- much more quiet and integrated into the rest of my life. But it can be tricky figuring out the right moment to make that transition, and helping it happen. And in the "in between" time, sometimes I don't feel so good about my habits. I guess that's because I'm conflicted -- I both am, and am not, getting the joy, education, etc. that I got at first. And in some obscure way know I am also <b>MISSING</b> it -- in the sense that I'm ready to move on. Hmmm. Lots to ponder . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160119 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 13:12:04 +0000 Claudia 1160119@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AnnieMouse, you might find this old thread, "How do you defeat the constant desire for novelty?," started by ironkurtin of interest:&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....or-novelty</a></p> <p>In that thread is a link to this article on dopamine and "seeking behavior":&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2009/08/seeking.single.html">http://www.slate.com/articles/.....ingle.html</a></p> <p><i>"It is an emotional state Panksepp tried many names for:&nbsp;curiosity, interest, foraging, anticipation, craving, expectancy. He finally settled on&nbsp;seeking. Panksepp has spent decades mapping the emotional systems of the brain he believes are shared by all mammals, and he says, "Seeking is the granddaddy of the systems." It is the mammalian motivational engine that each day gets us out of the bed, or den, or hole to venture forth into the world. It's why, as animal scientist Temple Grandin writes in&nbsp;</i><em><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0151014892?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=slatmaga-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0151014892">Animals Make Us Human,</a>&nbsp;</em><em></em><i>experiments show&nbsp;</i><em></em><i>that animals in captivity would prefer to have to search for their food than to have it delivered to them.</i></p> <p> <div> </p> <p><i>For humans, this desire to search is not just about fulfilling our&nbsp;physical&nbsp;needs. Panksepp says that humans can get just as excited about abstract rewards as tangible ones. He says that when we get thrilled about the world of ideas, about making intellectual connections, about divining meaning, it is the seeking circuits that are firing.</i></p> <p> </div><div> </p> <p><i>The juice that fuels the seeking system is the neurotransmitter dopamine. The dopamine circuits "promote states of eagerness and directed purpose," Panksepp writes. It's a state humans love to be in. So good does it feel that we seek out activities, or substances, that keep this system aroused—cocaine and amphetamines, drugs of stimulation, are particularly effective at stirring it."</i></p> <p> </div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shopping-as-an-addiction-self-analysis-and-probably-tldr#post-1160049 Fri, 07 Feb 2014 07:07:21 +0000 Jeanie 1160049@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Although I can't back this theory up with anything specific I've read, I suspect the need to buy new things has something to do with our hunter/gatherer instincts. &nbsp;Or perhaps a need to adorn ourselves to attract mates. &nbsp;Since money and clothes are plentiful in our society we just gather a lot more. &nbsp;Does that sound crazy? &nbsp;Interesting thread. </p>