https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 10 Apr 2026 15:07:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2273009 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 14:23:27 +0000 Angie 2273009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My condolences, and you are a sweet friend,<b> Rachy.</b> Your support is greatly appreciated, I'm sure. The dress and any of the toppers are a good choice.</p> <p>Glad you can pit stop at your brothers. Handy puffer vest, and safe travels.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272959 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 08:20:15 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2272959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha! What a first outing for the vest!<br /> Enjoy your brothers company, but get some sleep! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272958 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 08:18:03 +0000 rachylou 2272958@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And I anticipated your question SF: addendum in above post. Haha! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272956 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 08:15:43 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2272956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Glad for the progress report! Are you warm enough? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272955 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 08:09:57 +0000 rachylou 2272955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I appreciate your reassurances everybody! Missing the funeral and an overnight stay is a different one for me. The funeral was this afternoon and also not the time to be texting my friend. It’s 1 am and I’ve just pulled into my brother’s. Rest of the trip in the morning.</p> <p>(Peanut gallery comment to my own thread: It’s a humid 68F. The puffer vest came with and I’m wearing it now, ha!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272944 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 05:19:42 +0000 Suz 2272944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm super late here but I wanted to say how sorry I am. I'm sure your friend is going to be so glad to have you there -- whatever you wear. The dress is fantastic on you (not that worrying about how you look is the main thing, but wow, it's really a great dress) and I think whatever you use as a topper will look appropriate and acceptable to all. The green seems just fine to me.&nbsp;</p> <p>Safe travels.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272930 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 02:41:45 +0000 elpgal 2272930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, my condolences. You are such a good friend. I agree with Vildy, I’ve seen family members wear ripped clothing. Your goal should be to cover up sufficiently to not attract negative attention from other mourners and more conservative family. What you have picked looks appropriate to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272926 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 02:29:24 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2272926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Rachylou, my condolences to you. What a good friend you are, to make this drive and be there for them. <br /></div><div>I like the green sweater and find it somber enough. Safe travels.<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272915 Wed, 20 Jul 2022 01:58:49 +0000 Jaime 2272915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry Rachy and you are a wonderful friend. Shiva is a week long out of reality experience and a very traditional family would not even change their clothes much, so whatever you choose to wear that isn't screaming for attention will be fine. Safe travels. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272849 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 22:08:56 +0000 Lana 2272849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m sorry to hear about your friend’s sister’s son. &nbsp;You are a good friend to travel so far to be there.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272842 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 21:20:27 +0000 Windchime 2272842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The grey dress looks really nice on you and seems perfect for this sad occasion. Your presence will mean the world to your friend and the family. Travel safely. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272829 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 19:17:02 +0000 Aquamarine 2272829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to say that being there for your friend is enough, but I think your instincts re: what to wear and how are good. No worries. Safe travels. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272817 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 16:32:18 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2272817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You might be driving by now, but in case not, consider otk socks instead of leggings. They are much easier to put on/off around other people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272811 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 16:13:22 +0000 rachylou 2272811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your thoughts. It’s sad.</p> <p>Brooklyn—you’re right. I’m gonna add a pair of leggings to my mini suitcase.</p> <p>Staysfit—you are also right re Conservative. I use it for want of an accurate term. My friend’s dad, may his soul rest in peace, considered himself orthodox. But this conjures distinct images, like payot, which he did not wear. There were times I had to cover my hair going to synagogue with the family… and all those synagogues were thoroughly abandoned by the rest of the family first chance. No one is observant like as when he was alive, but the sensitivities remain… so I thread the needle… </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral/page/2#post-2272792 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 13:59:10 +0000 catherine 2272792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This sounds like a sad, sad trip with some heavy emotions throughout. Can’t offer any sartorial advice, but I’m certain your friend will be comforted by your presence. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272784 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 13:47:01 +0000 Irina 2272784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry, rachylou! You outfit is perfect for the occasion and suede coat sounds nice, too.<br />Drive safely! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272776 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 13:02:32 +0000 Minaminu 2272776@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So young! so sorry for the loss and what a lovely friend you are to be there for them during this sad times.</p> <p>The outfit look perfect to me, btw. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272775 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 12:58:44 +0000 merwoman 2272775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My sincere condolences Rachy, wishing you love and strength over the coming days. Safe travels </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272769 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 12:48:12 +0000 Staysfit 2272769@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of someone so young. Your dress looks perfectly appropriate to me however, the level and form of observance varies from one congregation to another, and also from one family to another, so it’s very hard to know exactly what “conservative” means. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272756 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:58:07 +0000 Vildy 2272756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>April, that's because the shiva period is like going down into death and coming back up.&nbsp; Many people will not "anoint" themselves: wear any fragrance or even deodorant.&nbsp; Not bathe, etc.&nbsp; Not wear any clothing that is new or even suggests it is new.&nbsp; No leather shoes.&nbsp; Like Yom Kippur rules.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272754 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:55:31 +0000 Helena 2272754@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy I can't add to the excellent advice you've got but just wanted to chime in with my love and condolences. No one should have to be at their child's funeral; it's too cruel. Sending positive vibes and support from afar. Xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272753 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:47:35 +0000 April 2272753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One thing I have found surprising when paying a shiva call is that the mourners (i.e., the family/significant others) will not necessarily be "dressed up."&nbsp; They might be but they might not.</p> <p>As a person paying respects, however, I think you're right to try to be&nbsp; less casual, RL.&nbsp; And, yes, as Vildy said, cover as much as you can without making yourself miserably hot.</p> <p>A food item such as yours, which is not perishable, will be most welcome. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272752 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:40:36 +0000 Brooklyn 2272752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m so sorry Rachy. I think both outfits work. Have you got 3/4 length leggings? They could be useful to wear under the dress for cooler weather. Safe travels. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272749 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:17:56 +0000 Janet 2272749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think either one works, although I have a slight preference for the green. I’d take both and see what feels right in the moment. </p> <p>I’m so very sorry for your friend’s tragic loss. Please have a safe trip. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272748 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:16:47 +0000 Vildy 2272748@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a staunch friend you are, Rachey.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272743 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 11:03:55 +0000 Anonymous 2272743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry Rachy Either definitely works, though I prefer the green. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272741 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 10:49:28 +0000 Inge 2272741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I have no extra suggestions (agree with the comments above), but also wanted to offer my condolences. Such a tragic loss.</div><div><br /></div><div>Have a safe trip!<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272734 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 09:48:56 +0000 rachylou 2272734@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>…I had something kosher sent (dried fruit and nut basket), and I thought I’d bring macaroons from the bakery, since they’re dairy free. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272733 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 09:43:30 +0000 gryffin 2272733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy - so very sorry to hear this. So much tragedy and loss but someone so young…. There are no words. Beaming peace and safe travels. It’s incredibly kind of you to make such a long trip and your friends will be deeply touched if you came in burlap. The dress is cool, lovely and appropriate. Both sweaters work well. You look like you could also later under the dress. The idea of a shawl or scarf was good too. Sometimes you want to wrap up. Be safe and may the visit bring comfort to all of you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/shivafuneral#post-2272730 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 09:32:41 +0000 Vildy 2272730@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Usually a small religious service is held at the home daily and if they're doing that and you will be in the room for that, just officially "need" to cover upper arms.&nbsp; A light shawl would also work in place of a sweater. Also, people may possibly only be seated on these low boxes instead of chairs, sofas, for the duration of the shiva period.&nbsp; Looks like the dress would allow for that. There should be a lot of food there. It's the traditional thing to bring and often people will bring whole cooked meals.</p>