https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 24 Apr 2026 05:38:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1544587 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:01:21 +0000 Ankita 1544587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It broke my heart to read this and i'm so sorry i'm late, but Belated Happy Birthday :)<br />I can only imagine how difficult it must be to see a loved one in pain... but you've got to be strong, for your mother, for your children, for your hubby and most importantly for YOURSELF.&nbsp;<br />Sending you the biggest and warmest virtual hug (I'd give to you in person if I could in a heartbeat) and hope that the days to come will be more cheerful :)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1542494 Thu, 20 Aug 2015 04:56:16 +0000 Aziraphale 1542494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks again, everyone. I really appreciate all the kind words. I'm feeling much better about life in general this week. :-)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1541932 Tue, 18 Aug 2015 23:55:43 +0000 jackiec 1541932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been away so I missed this, and your birthday. But extra special belated birthday wishes to you. I'm so sorry it's a rough time emotionally with your mom. Hug your wee ones. I know my guys are pretty ignorant most of the time, but I've made it a &nbsp;habit to prep them in advance about birthdays and yeah, I do get pouty when they forget. Let me vent a little about the whole Facebook thing, and I'm just as guilty. It's taken away from the personal call or card, and it sucks. Birthdays&nbsp;<i>matter.&nbsp;</i>full stop. Birthdays always merit a call or a card. Full stop. That's my new mantra. I know how much better i feel when someone remembers mine. The world would be a better place if people just picked up the phone more often and made that call. Totally agree. And Happy Belated Birthday. You matter. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1541717 Tue, 18 Aug 2015 18:08:08 +0000 Mona 1541717@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs and a belated happy birthday! I am glad that you were able to spend a good dinner with your family. They made you feel loved and appreciated which is what counts, birthday or not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1541668 Tue, 18 Aug 2015 16:38:32 +0000 viva 1541668@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the forum has had so many wise and warm words for you that I hesitate to add ... but I will only say that I have been there, have had those exact feelings (including my mother no longer knowing me as her daughter), and I know how heavy they are. I hope you were able to enjoy some special time this week. It's not too late to celebrate your birthday, you know. Not even now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538458 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 15:26:32 +0000 Marilyn 1538458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you had a difficult birthday, Elisabeth.&nbsp; I remember the first birthday when the dementia had taken so much of my mother she didn't remember my birthday.&nbsp; And shortly after, she didn't remember me at all.&nbsp; That time still haunts me so I understand just how difficult it is for you.&nbsp; It's OK to feel sad!<br />Birthdays are also tough for me because I'm adopted.&nbsp; And non-adopted people don't generally get that so they don't understand why the whole lead up to my b-day messes me up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538396 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 13:23:13 +0000 Anonymous 1538396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was so sad! So poignant! </p> <p>It's not unusual for people to go through phases that make them feel a little less relevant in their own lives. I've found that it's cyclical and most often it's not that you're <i>not&nbsp;</i> important, it's just that something or someone else is <i>more</i> important right now. It's too bad if your birthday coincides with one of those times but it's still your birthday, good job!</p> <p>&nbsp;When I have a down time like that I let myself be sad for a little while and then I use the time to focus on something that's all about myself, like how to use the different settings on my camera, or new places to go with the dog, etc.</p> <p>At least I'm the most interesting to myself!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538320 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 07:42:17 +0000 Maneera 1538320@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just saw this post. A belated Happy Birthday!&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm sorry to hear your birthday was less than special. That sucks.&nbsp;</p> <p>Some birthdays are harder than others. I now take matters into my own hands so my birthday is EXACTLY how I want it to be. I removed my birthday from Facebook &nbsp;years ago because I don't want random acquaintances to call/message and wish me, and important people to <i>remember</i> through FB. I had these feelings on my 30th Birthday. I had suffered a big personal loss and was hoping for a 'cheer-me-up' gesture from someone else, no one remembered my birthday, my husband was equally distraught and while he tried, the birthday wasn't such a success, and it was just another terrible day.</p> <p>I learnt my lesson. Even when things are going crazy in my life (which was also the case last year), I take that day to celebrate just MYSELF. I do whatever brings me peace and happiness and I forget about people and who,how,why remembered my birthday. To tell you the truth, once my parents and sister talk to me on the phone and wish me, I switch off the phone and then I forget the world.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am glad your family came through and gave you the love and support you deserve. In the end, that is all that matters.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538254 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 03:01:20 +0000 celia 1538254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just saw this post. Happy belated birthday!<br /> Some moments in our life are very lonely , but that is not your fault, just the accumulation of several external factors.<br /> I am glad your family came trough and gave you the love and support you deserve. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538238 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 02:31:20 +0000 Parsley 1538238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Belated birthday wishes, Elisabeth!<br />I'm so sorry to hear that you were feeling down on your special day. All that's going on with your mom has to have been a big factor; having your mom not even know you anymore has to be terribly painful.<br />There's nothing that can be done about that, but can I offer you a suggestion for the rest of your family? <br />I'm a believer in letting people know what your hopes and expectations are. For example, say to your kids, "Tomorrow is my birthday, and I would love to be pampered! I would like for you to draw me a special birthday picture, to come and give me big birthday hugs in the morning, and then to be especially nice to me all day long." &nbsp;I'm sure your kids (and husband) want to please you, and they will be glad to know what they can do to make you happy. Of course it's nice if it happens spontaneously, but sometimes kids (and husbands) need a little reminder. Please don't hesitate to ask for what you want!<br />As a bonus, your kids' future spouses should thank you for training them to behave in a thoughtful manner!</p> <p>I hope that you also won't be afraid to pamper yourself, because you need it and deserve it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm so sorry that you're going through a difficult time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538193 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 01:20:27 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1538193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry I'm late on this. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry it was so hard. I always enjoy reading the things that you have to say on the forum - you are so intelligent, insightful and wise. It also goes without saying that you have fabulous style! I'm glad the day was salvaged somewhat, but I do hope you can plan and make some special things happen. I find that sometimes I get more enjoyment out of the purposeful things that I plan for myself because it ends up being exactly what I need and want. Even if it isn't exactly a birthday celebration in the normal sense, it can be a wonderful, peaceful time of doing something that makes me happy. I hope that you find ways to make the passing year in a memorable way - even after the day. (And by the way, we are almost exactly the same age. My 43 is coming...) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538127 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 22:53:33 +0000 Debbie 1538127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just saw this. I hope you know that you are important. Birthdays can be difficult as we grow older. Please do something to celebrate the fabulous you. Lots of hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538102 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 21:59:42 +0000 texstyle 1538102@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big birthday hugs to you and wishing happier times to come again soon.</p> <p>I can remember some of "those" birthdays. Life can really throw some challenges our way, right? So, please take it easy on yourself and others and know that we all face similar birthdays from time to time.Like others, if I didn't plan for my own birthday it would simply pass as one more day of one more year of my life.&nbsp; </p> <p>Dealing with your mom's illness must be a very difficult process - but try to see the best in what you can do for her -- and preparing for her departure is one of those steps. Think about what she might have wanted as her last wishes and try to do something to honor that.&nbsp; </p> <p>Be gentle on yourself and try to plan something a bit into the future for you and your family maybe - even a year or more out, something to look forward to perhaps?</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538086 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 21:31:04 +0000 Mochi 1538086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, big hugs, that's hard, all of it. I'm really sorry.&nbsp;</p> <p>Please don't limit yourself to today: make it your birthday week or month and up the self-care: book a massage, buy yourself something you'd like, go out for a lovely meal or dessert with friends, family or on your own. Just keep reminding yourself through self-kindness that you are a wonderful person.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday/page/2#post-1538079 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 21:17:49 +0000 Anonymous 1538079@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I'll wish you a belated Happy Birthday, but also offer up a virtual hug and shoulder to commiserate on. &nbsp;Yes, there is no doubt about it, you are having a lousy time right now. &nbsp; Birthdays are a funny thing - starting with my 50th and with every one since then, they've been underwhelming and disappointing - but this year I decided to stop setting myself up for that. And you know what? It worked . I celebrated more spiritually and internally, and took myself out to the park for a cup of coffee and did some thinking. &nbsp;</p> <p>I am really sorry to hear about your mom's health decline and what you'll have to deal with in terms of palliative care. I just went through this myself , and I can tell you is palliative care people are wonderful. I hope your mother is at peace, because that's all that really matters. &nbsp;</p> <p>Hang in there - these phases of life usually turn themselves around if we work at them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537988 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 18:19:39 +0000 Alassë 1537988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry to read this, Aziraphale. Praying for you and the emptiness you talked about. I hope you can pick something special to do (or suggest it to your family). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537927 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 16:40:13 +0000 Diana 1537927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs and belated birthday wishes!</p> <p>I'm not really a big one for birthdays (too much expectation, baggage, etc) but I do think it's good to have a day of celebration once in a while.&nbsp; So I think you should pick a random day and just do things that make you happy.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537904 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 16:13:38 +0000 Aziraphale 1537904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the kind words, everyone. :-)&nbsp;</p> <p>I didn't actually have high hopes AT ALL for this birthday -- in fact I was sort of dreading it, because I knew I'd be going over to my parents' place, which is sad at the best of times. A birthday can sharpen the sense of loss (My mom's birthday in June was just as tough). Also, this birthday really brought into focus all of the other little losses that have piled up over the years.</p> <p>However, now that it's over I feel better. The hardest bit was having dinner at the dining room table with an empty space where my mom used to sit (she was upstairs, asleep). But my husband came through and made it there by 6:30, which is really early for him. Family occasions are so much easier when he's there. The kids were very sweet, too. I'm grateful for my loving family.</p> <p>Thanks again for letting me vent. I really do appreciate you taking the time to write something supportive.&nbsp; </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537857 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 14:50:41 +0000 abc 1537857@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Happy bday. I am so saddened to read your thread but the replies full of support and love and really great suggestions made me feel better so I hope they do the same for you, too. Hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537815 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 14:18:22 +0000 Jenn 1537815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know it's now the day after your birthday, but we're near-birthday-twins (I turned 42 today) and I wanted to let you know you're not alone. I haven't felt this way for my birthday this year, but you're describing exactly the way I felt on mother's day. I lay on my bed for an hour and cried, feeling simultaneously like no one really appreciated or valued me and like there was something wrong with me for being so upset when I, of course, knew I was loved.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anne is right when she says our loved one can't read our minds, but we really want them to, don't we? And movies and books and television all condition us to believe it's possible. I hope you followed Peri's prescription and, if not, I hope you're able to celebrate for the rest of the week without the weight of expectations. Happy birthday <i>week&nbsp;</i>to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537802 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 14:08:27 +0000 Eliza 1537802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Elisabeth- sorry for your disappointing birthday. Despite childcare, life had other ideas and you have a heavy weight on you with your mother's decline. You are valued here and day to day. Sometimes the stars don't align on "the day", but it doesn't mean you can't have the experiences that would matter most. </p> <p>I hope it helped to state your frustrations; sometimes that is a big part of moving on to create a better moment. Don't give up on this one; one of my then young relatives dubbed her birthday a "month-long jubilee". Some groups of friends create a birthday tradition of going out together near each other's birthday or even once a year for everyone. You may not be alone in valuing such a gathering and having a routine helps to keep it happening. </p> <p>Lots of ideas here and lots of good thoughts headed your way. I'm guessing most of us have had years like this and perhaps they spur us to take care of ourselves, even as there is tough stuff going on. </p> <p>Hang in there and all the best with your mother. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537738 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 13:01:59 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1537738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've had years where I felt very let-down by my birthday, and I determined that it was a matter of my expectations more so than how much other people loved and valued me. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, at all, but working through what your actual expectations are (that you would be kissed by your son, that your husband would greet you first thing instead of letting you sleep in, that you would be convinced that people celebrate you without an online prompt, etc) and letting them go, somehow, will make things happier for you in future. I now am very open about what will make *me feel celebrated, and have found that my husband is more than happy to do those things (I think husbands in general are happy to have specific instructions about what makes us happy). I plan something happy for *myself, and I cherish *myself (whether that means shopping, planning a lunch date, going to a spa, whatever). Happy birthday to you today, and I hope that your day gets better. You are no doubt loved and cherished and will be in the future, too. Cherish yourself today. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537664 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 11:08:55 +0000 Style Fan 1537664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry that your birthday was not a special day.&nbsp; I second the advice you have received to make a birthday week or birthday month.&nbsp; You are dealing with the change in your mother and the growing up of your son.&nbsp; Friends tend to be scarce at this time of life.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537661 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 11:05:41 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 1537661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Happy birthday!!! &nbsp;Is there something you have wanted for a while but don't have yet? &nbsp;If so, I think you deserve a B-day present from you to you. &nbsp;Indulge yourself. &nbsp;You deserve it for everything you do for others without thinking about yourself. &nbsp;</p> <p>You are doing nothing wrong. &nbsp;Life has ups and downs and sadly you may be in a down phase. &nbsp;Ride it out and life will once again be happy. &nbsp;</p> <p>Facebook is a double edged sword. &nbsp;It is a wonderful way to keep in touch with people but can also bring you to the realization of how superficial some relationships can be. &nbsp;</p> <p>It is very difficult to establish new friendships when we have competing priorities and family responsibilities. &nbsp;You are not alone in this. &nbsp;</p> <p>(((hugs))) regarding your mom. &nbsp;My mom is drifting away too and it is so hard to see and there is a feeling of helplessness that comes with it. &nbsp;Hang in there.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537645 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 10:22:38 +0000 Summer 1537645@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry that your special day was so underwhelming for you, and I agree that some treats are called for. &nbsp;Please be kind to yourself, and know that you are valued and appreciated here on the forum. &nbsp;Here's to better days ahead. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537638 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 09:46:11 +0000 Deborah 1537638@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am late, but echo Angie. &nbsp;You are a beautiful smart woman and I love that I know you, even if it's just a little bit, here on the Forum. &nbsp;I say embrace your specialness and share it... let it the celebrations begin! &nbsp;Lots of love and happy birthday. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537625 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 07:58:35 +0000 Anonymous 1537625@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Happy Birthday! I'm sorry it hasn't been fab so far, but I do love Peri's suggestions and I definitely think you should make it a Birthday month. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537616 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 07:10:03 +0000 Gigi 1537616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, AZ, what a rotten b-day! My b-day is pretty well forgotten among my family members too...it can be so depressing. Know that you are loved here! I hope that you can find some way to treat yourself that will bring you some happiness. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537603 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 06:18:23 +0000 rachylou 1537603@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww, Az! Think of it this way... Birthdays are the High Holy Day of Anton LeVey's Satanic Church... Don't take that the wrong way peeps, Anton is just a schmuck. I never do my b-day on my b-day personally... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/saddest-birthday#post-1537591 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 05:22:26 +0000 anne 1537591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It'll be past the actual day when you read this, so hope you've taken everyone's advice and done (or planned) something to celebrate. Birthday week or month sounds great.<br />This is such a hard time for you in general, specially with your mum, that I can understand how a few extra things, like missing the cuddle from your son, and being sick last weekend, can seem like the last straw.</p> <p>I really help your DH and kids rallied round in the evening - if they didn't I'd be having a few words with them!!</p> <p>I'm also in the camp of organising my own celebrations now too. My family are keen to love me, but they can't read my mind.</p>