https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 08 Apr 2026 01:34:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310502 Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:16:03 +0000 Jonesy 2310502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am super late here but wanted to simply say that I admire your directness, honesty, and ability for self-reflection, and I think your insights are powerful.</p> <p>Thank you, Angie, for always saying what needs to be said in such a diplomatic, wise manner. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310254 Sat, 25 Feb 2023 14:30:02 +0000 LJP 2310254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Brooklyn, I appreciate your thoughts. &nbsp;</p> <p>FWIW, it looks like "cat2" edited her original comments. &nbsp;Also , I looked at her posting history, and see that her very first post here 2 years ago or so was almost identical in tone and stirred up the same kind of discourse and dissent. &nbsp;</p> <p>The more I think about this whole issue, the more I want to say that judgmental tones run both ways here. I love fashion, trend watching, everything ......and there should be nothing wrong with that. We all look and judge through different lens, and need to not get so bent out of shape with other viewpoints. &nbsp;I do sense a fair bit of push-back against trends and what "fashion girls" say we 'should" wear. &nbsp;That stuff is only one small part of the bigger picture that is fashion and dressing. &nbsp;Why is it bad that I happen to enjoy reading that kind of thing ? There are no entry rules to this forum that state only shopping your closet, buying vintage, wearing the classics, whatever type of person you are, &nbsp;are accepted here.&nbsp;</p> <p>Ok, I need to stop and move on. &nbsp;Thanks all for your comments and support. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310195 Sat, 25 Feb 2023 03:45:56 +0000 Brooklyn 2310195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wasn’t going to comment on this thread since, by the time I got to it, you had said you wanted to close it. But, as others have commented, I thought I would sneak in mine too :)</p> <p>Adjusting our internal style dialogue is a big challenge for many of us. Is this dated? Does this look like I’m trying too hard? Is this too young for me? Does this make me look bigger? etc etc etc. We are constantly judging ourselves, and usually against a standard that we don’t set for others. </p> <p>External style dialogue can also be a challenge, as this post shows. </p> <p>I found your original post, and most of the comments that followed, interesting and positive. I’m sorry it went sideways. I hope you are not discouraged. </p> <p>Kudos to Angie for handling these issues so well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310187 Sat, 25 Feb 2023 00:41:19 +0000 DonnaF 2310187@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa; I love reading your thoughts and insights. Your professional life was/is so different from mine. If you can believe it, my life is and has been anti-fashion, as in thinking about and displaying fashion and style is frowned upon and no doubt thought of as shallow, frivolous, and a waste of time. As someone who thinks about how I dress, I am conspicuous and people around me comment frequently enough to make it embarrassing. I’ve gotten over the stage when women in my field are SUPPOSED to look/dress frumpy, but the bar is now so low where I am living at the other end of the spectrum, I thought I might give you a laugh and an additional perspective. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310160 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 20:16:59 +0000 LJP 2310160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Lesley ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310148 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 19:13:45 +0000 Lesley 2310148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha ha, pressing on a bruise here despite your wanting to close this issue but also wanted to chime in and say these (and not the emotionally-charged comments that followed) are my favorite kinds of posts, the ones that are more than about just a specific outfit but more our underlying thinking about getting dressed and keeping a wardrobe. Keep 'em coming and don't worry too much that something will always hit someone wrong if they're in the wrong mood to hear it.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310101 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 14:31:23 +0000 lyn67 2310101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm late, but wanted to say loved the original post, keep on the good job <b>Lisa</b>- I always apreciate your posts- philosophical or not!:-)&nbsp;<br />We&nbsp; surelly could have done better without the&nbsp; ramblings in the second part of <b>Cat2</b>'s comment....I just don't understand where that links to the original post either- looks like taking it all negatively&nbsp; personal but this is&nbsp; non-sense for me, sorry....:-( </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310021 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 02:28:21 +0000 LJP 2310021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Jaime and Helena . I don’t think it was a misunderstanding . I think it was pure anger and disgust from an anonymous poster / bot designed to stir up discourse . My initial shock has given way to annoyance . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310018 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 02:23:25 +0000 Jaime 2310018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry Lisa, despite your wish to close this thread I have to pipe up and say that the vast majority of it has been respectful and illuminating and I given me a lot to think about. Please do not be discouraged by what appears to be one misunderstanding of what you wrote. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310017 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 02:20:18 +0000 Helena 2310017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi, sorry Lisa to keep it going but I just want to say ... This post is exactly the kind of nuanced, interesting, thought provoking commentary that had kept me engaged with this community for 10+ years ... So I hope you will continue to share your thoughts about your style journey because they are very appreciated. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2310010 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 01:27:24 +0000 Indigoprint 2310010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes Angie. You always provide a positive perspective that is consistent and reliable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309995 Fri, 24 Feb 2023 00:10:25 +0000 LJP 2309995@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Angie . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309989 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 23:40:43 +0000 Angie 2309989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b></b>It's been a busy day, and I could not get to this thread&nbsp;properly until now.</p> <p><b></b>Generally, as&nbsp;far as dated&nbsp;items go,&nbsp;I believe that dating a wardrobe item is a dated concept! I elaborated on that thinking three years ago here:</p> <p><b> </p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/2020/08/05/dated-wardrobe-items-a-dated-concept/">https://youlookfab.com/2020/08.....d-concept/</a>&nbsp;</p> <p></b> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b> </p> <p><b></b>Specifically, <b>LJP</b>, firstly, please don't feel sad! Your thoughts here about vocabulary and perspective changes are positive, good, enlightened and FWIW - you have my full support. I'm excited and DELIGHTED to view your wardrobe and style through this new lens with you. Onward!&nbsp;</p> <p>This:&nbsp;</p> <p><i>"If I eliminate the concept of dated and change the factor to " do I still love wearing it?" - maybe I can see things in a less judgmental way. I also look forward to using different language in response to forum and blog postings about style changes in the marketplace"<br /></i><br />Love that! May it make you feel empowered, liberated and happy in your heart. Goodbye skinny ponte pants and embellished combat boots. They make others happy, but not you. Onto something else :)&nbsp;</p> <p>Btw, I have been in the international Rag Trade for 30 years - non-stop.&nbsp;&nbsp;Designer, Specialist Buyer, Consultant, Fashion Stylist, and Wardrobe Consultant. I hear you on how we used to handle trends and decisions back then. &nbsp;Fashion and style have evolved in a good way, and us evolving with it is good too. I applaud the epiphanies you shared here! </p> <p><b>Tanya,</b> I view trends similarly! Trends are a buffet I enjoy snacking on, or filling my belly with when it suits me.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309985 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 23:11:38 +0000 LJP 2309985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like that Tanya :). And I pay attention to trends the same way you do . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309978 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 22:44:15 +0000 Tanya 2309978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am also saddened about how this thread evolved.&nbsp; I was going to write much more, but I respect your wishes, Lisa, that you would like the thread closed.&nbsp;</p> <p>Regarding the "trend sensitive" term, there was no forum discussion you missed, I used the term in the comments on yesterday's blog post and several Fabbers seemed to like it.&nbsp; &nbsp;Since the post was about doing your own thing fashion-wise, I used the term to indicate that I am more comfortable doing it for some aspects of trends than others.&nbsp; Specifically, I am very happy to do my own thing independent of trends when it comes to colors, patterns and textures; but am more conscious of trends and influenced by them when it comes to silhouettes and cuts/shapes of garments.&nbsp; This, of course, was me talking about myself, it had no implications about anyone else. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309971 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 22:17:15 +0000 Dee 2309971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just wanted to say that I love your new perspective and please know that we are supportive of you and your style journey. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309963 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 21:43:15 +0000 Janet 2309963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m sad it’s come to that point. I really appreciate the original post and all the observations of fellow forum members until it went sideways. I love your idea of reframing this language and feel like cat2 completely missed the intention of your post. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309961 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 21:31:32 +0000 LJP 2309961@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Let’s close this thread . I feel it’s gone off the rails and I don’t have the emotional fortitude to explain , defend , debate further . It’s left me feeling saddened after such a positive start . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309959 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 21:22:37 +0000 Gaylene 2309959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big thumbs up for everything <b>Suz</b> wrote above!</p> <p>A few years ago, I decided to step back a bit from this forum because I was feeling like a bit like <b>cat2</b> that my ideas around keeping my style “current” were not aligned with what others seemed to be seeking. I‘ve always loved fashion from an artistic and creative perspective, but I can’t say that I’ve ever feel much affinity for, or interest in, whatever “cool girls” were obsessing about this month.</p> <p> <div>The process of drastically reducing the size of my wardrobe a few years ago in preparation for a move made me realize I did have a core style which was easy to discern once all the faff and distractions were removed. It made me confident enough to pick the words <b><i>simple</i></b> and <b><i>modern</i></b> to reflect my overall style. I decided my third word needed to reflect the non-static part of my style so I picked <b><i>interesting</i></b>. <i>Interesting</i>, especially when I define it as “<u><i>interesting to me</i></u>” can morph and change as seasons come and go, plus saying something “<i><u>doesn’t interest me</u></i>” is obviously just an individual reaction to whatever is being shown or discussed. <i>Interesting</i> keeps me from falling into a rut because fashion always is coming up with something which catches my eye—a colour, a silhouette, a styling tweak, an accessory, an attitude, a combination… &nbsp;Unlike <b><i>current</i></b> or <b><i>trend-sensitive</i></b> or those other words marketers like to use to turn over inventory, <i><b>interesting</b></i> is more—neutral? </p> <p>&nbsp;Saying I’m not interested in owning a cold-shoulder top, or I’m not interested in purchasing another pair of tight jeans just means my style goals are currently heading in a particular direction. Sharing our different directions might be a lot of fun, no? &nbsp;And, possibly, shared with a less judging implication?</p> <p><b>Addendum</b>: &nbsp;</p> <p>And, <b>Lisa</b>, for whatever it’s worth, I think you have a very strong core style even if you haven’t decided to define it in so many words. You’ve a good sense of what works for you, but you’ve also a good eye for not letting your core look become static. Your inventiveness is one of the reasons I always enjoy seeing your outfits—you bring that <i>Lisa-style</i> to whatever direction you are exploring.&nbsp;</p> </div><div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309957 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 21:15:28 +0000 LJP 2309957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes , Suz, that is and was my intention. Thank your for clarifying and for your support . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309945 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 20:09:29 +0000 Helena 2309945@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Per Suz: "</p> <p>Groups like this one work best when we assume one another's best intentions and work towards mutual support." Amen! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309942 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 19:28:31 +0000 Suz 2309942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of the best aspects of this forum is its diversity. We come here for different reasons, from different backgrounds, with different goals. That's what makes it interesting! </p> <p>But that also makes it easier for signals to get crossed. </p> <p>If words like "dated" can be internalized in negative ways or misinterpreted by others, then maybe they aren't the best words to use, of our own outfits or other people's. Even if they are terms of art, in a sense, and part of one's professional vocabulary.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;If I understood you correctly,&nbsp;&nbsp;<b>Lisa</b>, that's precisely what you were getting at. You've hit on a linguistic shift that might help you evolve your own style in a more relaxed, less judgement-laden way and might <b>also</b> help you communicate more effectively with the diverse members of this group. That sounds like a win-win to me!</p> <p>I'm curious, <b>cat2,</b> about what you intended with your comment? If I understood you, you have felt judged by that kind of language in the past or possibly triggered by it, if not on this thread, then elsewhere. I get that; it's&nbsp;a sensitive and complicated area, for sure.&nbsp;</p> <p>At the same time, if we're asking for respect from others, it seems to me we need to offer it in kind to them. Groups like this one work best when we assume one another's best intentions and work towards mutual support.&nbsp;</p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309941 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 19:25:39 +0000 Angie 2309941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b></b>I am reading this thread for the first time right now. Unfortunately, I cannot be everywhere at once :)</p> <p><b>cat2</b>, I get that this is emotional terrain, and we can feel negatively judged at some point. If you would like others here to be kind and respectful about your style and fashion choices, it would help if your tone was less harsh. Try to be more gentle about the way you express your opinions.&nbsp;<b>LJP</b> started this post precisely because she wants to change her perspective and improve the language she uses here - all in an effort to be less judgmental, more gentle, and more inclusive. That should be supported and commended. In my experience, reinforcing the positive is always a better way to go!</p> <p><b>LJP,</b> thank you for your thoughts! I'll get back to them later.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309932 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 18:44:11 +0000 LJP 2309932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Irina - thank you for your support. I share your thoughts.</p> <p>ANYWAYS - this is meant to be a philosophical discussion. Thank you all for your thoughts !</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary/page/2#post-2309929 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 18:35:25 +0000 LJP 2309929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger and gryffin, yes, you've hit on something regarding how this impacts enjoying my own wardrobe. &nbsp; &nbsp;Maybe it's why I don't have a strong , distinctive personal style? &nbsp;Always, thank you for your insight, I appreciate your thoughts.</p> <p>I didn't start this thread to have to defend myself, and I'm not interested in being admonished, either. &nbsp;I chose to share my thoughts because I am an open book, if nothing else, and am willing to learn and grow. I also figured others might share their experiences too. &nbsp;</p> <p>I love the Tanya's term "trend sensitive" - must have missed that discussion ! &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary#post-2309925 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 18:22:16 +0000 Irina 2309925@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I read and re-read&nbsp;<b>cat2&nbsp;</b>comment. I feel very upset and sad that such hard judgment is allowed here. And without a reaction of others than Ginger. It makes me seriously consider if I want to continue to be a part of this community.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary#post-2309919 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 17:45:43 +0000 Ginger 2309919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Lisa</b>, this is a fascinating discussion. I completely see where you're coming from. It must be incredibly difficult to have been a professional in a subject that everyone deals with everyday. It's similar to my being picky about garment cut (since I know how it would be a better fit) or my inability to watch most historical movies and shows with enjoyment, but a lot harder. Recognizing what's going on and choosing to change vocabulary in this context is a great move to me. I also wondered with&nbsp;<b>gryffin&nbsp;</b>if your knowledge and experience are a challenge for you in enjoying your own wardrobe. I hope that this realization will help you as well. :)</p> <p><b>Cat2</b>, I agree that your comment comes across harshly and also does not seem to grasp what Lisa's post is about. It seems there's assuming another person's motivation.<b></b></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary#post-2309910 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 16:50:41 +0000 Irina 2309910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Cat2</b>, wow, it is really harsh. I’m shocked, honestly.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary#post-2309909 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 16:40:19 +0000 cat2 2309909@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don’t think the competitive is-it-in-or-out fashion lens is the only way one is permitted to manage one’s style. I have always worked in a professional setting, and what works here is clothing that is a recognizable version of classic menswear. So what I want from retailers is really different. I want good quality pieces that last and have a classic cut. I don’t want trendy or impractical details, or fits that are too body conscious. Outside of work, I have a classic style, so again, I have zero interest in a lot of what is trending, and I look for pieces that are interesting spins on classics, or are in colors I don’t already have. I don’t think your goals are bad, and all I ask is that you respect mine as well, rather than harshing on anything that isn’t what you think everyone should want to wear that nanosecond to be trendy. Learning what is trendy is really helpful information, as is seeing new styling. It just needs to come without the assumption that the only possible goal in life is earning the approval of another fashion girl. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reworking-my-fashionstyle-vocabulary#post-2309890 Thu, 23 Feb 2023 13:34:51 +0000 Irina 2309890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Lisa</b>, I’m glad you found a way to have a new look at your wardrobe and style. I appreciate you are sharing with us your thought process thus encourage us to think, too. I’m an analytical person, so I put a great value on these kind of things.&nbsp;<div>When it comes to expressing oneself’s opinion, however, I find the topic is fraught with uneasy feelings. We talked about it <b>a lot.&nbsp;</b></div><div>Lately I feel that almost&nbsp;<b>anything&nbsp;</b>said here can offend someone even when one comments on oneself or in general. It seems that your change of language comes from an internal need and will benefit your style development. We are all nothing if not a work in progress. :)</div> </p>