https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 23:42:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1626443 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 14:36:33 +0000 Anonymous 1626443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jen, I love your inspiration pics. It does sound like you need to add a little more to your budget. Maybe create an extra little 'fall back' fund for time when things suddenly bite the dust. Also...you should get sewing! Hehe...seriously though, I know you said you wanted to get back to sewing, so&nbsp;I bet you could do a few quick summer top makes for your casual stuff that may wear fast and if you sourced sale fabrics I bet you could do it quite cheaply </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1626319 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 03:27:49 +0000 Anonymous 1626319@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You haven received lots of great advice already. I used to buy outfits all at once and always wear them the same way. Needing to build a wardrobe from scratch after weight loss a few years ago, if made better sense to pick a couple of neutrals and build a column of color of each. Then it was east to add in color and patterns that expand my outfit choices. Right now my neutrals are black, mixed shades of white, and navy (which includes dark denim). If you keep the column of neutral color slim, it is easier to form outfits.<br /> It sounds like you need to spend time looking at what you have going into the next season. Make capsules or outfits and prioritized lists of what you need to complete them. For clothes that last longer, avoid knits of any price and go with wovens. They generally do not get shabby as fast. Are you paying attention to how pieces need to be cleaned? Hand washing and hanging to dry extends the life of most items and is not hard when doing 2-3 items each night at bedtime.<br /> Good luck and keep us informed of your progress and frustrations. This is a great place to get feed back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1626299 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 02:24:25 +0000 Vix 1626299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi jenanded --</p> <p>If you mean it's annoying to be on the treadmill of planning, buying, maintaining/cleaning, figuring out combos, replacing and/or donating (all while keeping budget in mind) only to have these periods where suddenly it's all going to hell and nothing's working together and all your favorites are ratty then I get it!</p> <p>I agree with the great thoughts upthread about this REALLY being the case with a smaller wardrobe, a low tolerance for wear, and a dislike of having "sit-arounds" in the closet. I prefer a smaller wardrobe packed with favorites &nbsp;and workhorses but I don't get bored that easily and I'm a lot less disciplined that you re the cycling out....</p> <p>The upside of a closet like yours is that when it's functional, it's like a machine. The downside is when a few things are off it can feel like it's all a hot mess.</p> <p>Some ideas --</p> <ul> <li>Think about whether you really need 7 pairs of sandals (maybe you do, but since you're heading into winter maybe you can look at replacing 3-4 now and seeing how it plays out)</li> <li>Take your $50 tops shopping and figure out what bottom(s) look good; buy&nbsp;</li> <li>If you don't have what you need to make up one or two outfits like those of your inspirations, think about buying the missing pieces. But don't buy the pieces alone unless they work with something already in your closet and in good shape&nbsp;</li> </ul> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1626200 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 20:05:25 +0000 Ginger 1626200@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think smittie and BrieN particularly hit on the underlying causes for your current situation. Smaller wardrobes wear out faster and must be maintained.&nbsp; Smaller wardrobes also work better if the items can be pulled together into many different outfits.&nbsp; The capsule approach can be particularly helpful in that case. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625789 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 00:08:21 +0000 BrieN 1625789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds to me as if perhaps you may have a lot of nice pieces, but not so many outfits. The outfits you *do* have get a lot of wear -- well -- because they are outfits and they look the pulled together way you want to look. I have been in this position, and for me it's when 1) my budget allows a purchase or two but not a whole outfit at once and 2) I'm shopping haphazardly.</p> <p>Do you have a running list of clothing to purchase?&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;For me, I prioritize the items that once purchased would create a full outfit with the items I already have in the closet, e.g., If you already have the pants, shoes and blouse, then buy the topper that pulls it all together. &nbsp; Or I have the top and jeans, but need the shoes to make it "wow". &nbsp; </p> <p>I also found that certain pricey items - like nice shoes and toppers were the ones I was missing from my wardrobe because I would need to be more planful to afford them.&nbsp;</p> <p>I find my mindset shifts when I have a list. I'm less overwhelmed and more logical and careful. I'm able to spend wisely.&nbsp;</p> <p>My wardrobe is very much a work in progress, but I have made a big change with about a 10 items that I was missing (for 2 seasons).&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625670 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 16:53:58 +0000 Tanya 1625670@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would start by replacing the essentials and by getting a fun trendy comfy new pair of shoes - shoes can refresh a wardrobe like nothing else IMO.&nbsp; A good strategy I have heard somewhere is to aim to have at least 3 perfect (and different) outfits you love in your wardrobe.&nbsp; So I would try to put those together from my wardrobe and buy first whatever is missing to complete them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625667 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 16:40:28 +0000 Anonymous 1625667@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a small wardrobe and things wear out a lot faster than people with large wardrobes. I'll wear the same pair of sandals every day for the whole summer. Those sandals will last about 3 years before they start to look ratty and need to be replaced (and my summers are only **three** months long).</p> <p>Ultimately, my guess is that you're not spending enough on clothes, and you're not upgrading quick enough.<br /> It seems like you need a bit of a cash infusion now, to get the basics in place. </p> <p>What I've found is that even with a small wardrobe, I need to spend around $2-3k (CAD) a year to "stay afloat". That's with jeans in the $100 range, tshirts in the $20 range, bags in the $200 range, and shies in the $150 range. That's a lot more that I used to spend...but it's only $200/mo. This month I bought a pair of converse ($60) a top ($40) and some earrings (80) and with tax I'm at $200. I needed a plain white top, and didn't have a pair of casual sneakers at all, and have only two pairs of earrings that I wear, so you can see that just staying on top of basics gets expensive.</p> <p>I used to spend about $1000 and always felt shabby.</p> <p>I think if you're doing a wardrobe reset all at once, you'll need even more money in that first year...</p> <p>I live in Canada and outerwear is very expensive, so that scews the budget upwards. You simply can't get a down puffer under $450.</p> <p>Sorry to go on and on about my budget. I thought it might be helpful for illustrative purposes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625644 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 15:40:49 +0000 Anonymous 1625644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think one has to remember that clothes are meant to be worn, and as a result they wear out and that is ok. Although it is hard when many items seem to expire at once. It can be overwhelming I know! At least it sounds like you have good options for replenishing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625619 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 13:56:53 +0000 Colette 1625619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you have it figured out, spend a few times a year and keep a little play money for something fun from time to time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625587 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 08:30:05 +0000 chirico (Chiara) 1625587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know that feeling! It's frustrating, especially if what becomes shabby it's a piece I love and it's unique enough to know it's impossible to find something similar.<br /> I have come to accept that even the most expensive (for my budget) shoes will need to be replaced at some point. Two days ago I found a hole in my beloved Geox boots. After wearing them heavily for 3+ years, what can I do?<br /> No wardrobe will be forever, that's my conclusion. But we can maximize its longevity by prioritizing and budgeting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625586 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 08:13:03 +0000 jenanded 1625586@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Chirico. I think my sense is I am just on top of things, and then suddenly a bunch of stuff is shabby or breaks and then I am back to the starting block again. </p> <p>I also feel like I am always buying... I have a reasonable budget but also need to buy better shoes as well as look ok for work. But maybe I need to spend just a few times a year and then keep a little play money for something fun from time to time... I never QUITE get everything right...</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625584 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 07:52:02 +0000 chirico (Chiara) 1625584@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am not sure I get the point, here, so sorry if my answer is not quite what you are asking...<br /> Sounds to me you are overwhelmed at the change of season/wardrobe, confuse by the fact that most of what you see here refers to the North Hemisphere, and maybe overwhelmed with the choices for the next season? Am I right?<br /> When this happens to me, I check my clothes for the next season. I have a good memory and a limited amount of items, so I don't pull everything out, but you might need to. I see what is in good shape and what must be donated/repurposed for home wear. Then I write a list - I love lists!<br /> I write everything I think is needed to update my wardrobe. Then, depending on my budget, I establish priorities. I decide what is really needed and what can wait for the sales.<br /> For example, for S/S, I NEED long sleeve tops, white jeans and new beige sandals. Girlfriend jeans and leopard pumps can wait, and if at the end of the season I can't find them it's ok anyway.<br /> I find a good bag and a new pair of shoes are great starting point for updating.<br /> Hope this help, I am eager to see what other fabbers have to say. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/reflecting-back-and-forward---the-too-loved-and-the-lonely-long#post-1625581 Sun, 06 Mar 2016 07:39:33 +0000 jenanded 1625581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What started with ogling everyone's sandals, has led me to some navel gazing about my wardrobe. I found some sandal replacements yesterday, but I still have some holes to fill and your suggestions of getting some good options from the Nthn Hemisphere summer means I could be looking at 6 or 7 pairs of shoes in one hit. Quite an outlay at once.&nbsp; This led me to these reflections (warning this is long!)</p> <p>And then I thought my work wardrobe was going ok with getting some things made - and now some older pieces are so loved they look shabby - so there are new tops and jackets to get. That is without thinking that I would like some more dresses.</p> <p>Then Deborah asked how my casual wardrobe was going - well I have been wearing a few $10 tops through the heat hoping I won't run into anyone when I go shopping etc... Yet a couple of nice $50 tops are just sitting there lonely because they don't quite sit right with my good collection of pants... </p> <p>And winter will come soon and I need new jeans. And a jacket... And a few blouses for smart casual for a work trip to the North...</p> <p>You can see where this is going... Let alone looking at everyone's WIWs and admiring their cool wardrobes and outfits.</p> <p>OK to break this down:</p> <p>I do have an ok budget (broken down fortnightly)&nbsp;and seem to spend it&nbsp;&nbsp;quite happily. I would not be in the league of Angie's once a year client, but it seems a decent idea so everything goes together, is fresh together, and means if a few older pieces go at once well that is ok.</p> <p>This time of year has the best pickings I think. The clothes in general are work relevant for where I live and I can also tap into the Nthn Hemisphere things as your winters are way too heavy for even the coldest days here and so have not longevity. I could easily buy 6-10 pairs of shoes for the year, jeans are in stock here as are year round weight tops, jackets etc.</p> <p>I have a small wardrobe space, I hate unworn things and can purge quite easily, love a 'complete' wardrobe, but also get bored quite easily and can not bear anything RATE. </p> <p>With a small wardrobe, and in this hot weather, everything needs laundering after one wear (except maybe jackets and skirts in winter) so I guess they get a lot of 'love' even though I wash very carefully.</p> <p>I am not sure where I am going with this but would love some suggestions or insights. If I was to pick a work and a casual 'look' for me, the pictures below would work for me.</p> <p>I will stop whining now. Thank you for reading this far.</p> <p></p>