https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 15 Apr 2026 04:38:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1995118 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 19:14:49 +0000 Isabel 1995118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>WOW !&nbsp; Short and right on point. I LOVED it. Thank you Jenni. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1995056 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 15:05:37 +0000 Scarlet 1995056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, thanks for that perspective. I will be thinking of this with my children. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994994 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 10:02:00 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1994994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, you mean the Gillette one? No harm showing it to girls, I suppose, but I really agree with the idea that girls and women all hear all about this all the time, just like we hear how to avoid being raped, and it's time for boys and men to hear about it too, and learn not to be leches and rapists. I like that the video's text makes it very clear that they don't think all men do those things, and they show simple ways that men can and some do interrupt offensive behaviors. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994966 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 06:44:55 +0000 Anonymous 1994966@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wonderful video. We must get this message to our daughters, granddaughters and young students. That means allowing them...insisting on...daily times of silence so they can think and discover who they are. No music, no video games, no phone. Just silence to be able to hear the voice within, to meditate and think of their day, to discover their problems and so.utions, etc. think of the times you needed silence when you were a child. Perhaps you had a tree to climb or sit under, a garden to sit in and turn over rocks, etc. a place to consider problems and what to do, to unwind from the pressures of the day..<br /> Sorry about the rant. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994310 Sun, 20 Jan 2019 19:16:04 +0000 Angie 1994310@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Sal,</b> EXACTLY. Report back.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Bijou</b>, my 19 year old nephew is into body building too - but he did play 1st Team rugby at school.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't know how I feel about men being bombarded with ways to "fix" the way they look. I'm happy about things being less sexist these days, but unhappy that the beauty, fashion and entertainment industry is preying on their insecurities too.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994306 Sun, 20 Jan 2019 19:08:30 +0000 Sal 1994306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I watched the Gilette ad yesterday - I liked it and did not find it offensive. I guess it was role modelling some situations - whether that is patronising or not to the many wonderful Dads. friends etc...&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I will show it to the males of the household and see what they have to say!!&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994300 Sun, 20 Jan 2019 18:45:56 +0000 Angie 1994300@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>WOW. Thank you for the awfully wise, heartfelt and thought provoking comments.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Suz,</b>&nbsp;you are SO right about the combination of sexism and ageism being toxic. It's never too late to start changing the way we think, especially when we are role models to the younger generation.</p> <p><b>Jenni,</b>&nbsp;I liked the Gilette ad too, but also wonder what my hubs will think. Like your hubs, he is very pro women's rights. More of a feminist than I am at times.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>FashIntern,</b> I agree with this: "<i>I do think it is very easy and inaccurate to assume we can do things "for me" and not "for society", as if there were a clear, easy distinction, instead of recognizing that who we are as people is shaped at our very core by our social interactions".&nbsp;</i></p> <i><br /> </i> <p><i></i>I think it boils down to being honest and at peace with the decisions you make about changing, or not changing your appearance. You have to do it for the reasons that make sense to you. And not judge others negatively for the decisions they make if they are very different to yours.</p> <p>&nbsp;<i></i> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994180 Sun, 20 Jan 2019 11:06:24 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1994180@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Jenni, huh. How'd that happen? I'm too lazy to fix it, because I think you have the idea--nice idea, driven by profit, not idealism, the $3mil Gillette is donating to some charity isn't much, &amp; lots of firms are equally hypocritical. The Fastco article focused on the last part there.<br />What you said about your son must be frustrating and saddening. I'm trying to do a dance with my son of differentiating looking from The Gaze, iykwim. I often think that men who had a single mom have a better clue that women can be strong &amp; should be respected as equals, but we'll see what happens. Mine is 16 now. I bet your daughter's understanding will change as her perspective shifts. <br />About the ad--apparently&nbsp; some men are so pissed off by the images in the first few seconds that they don't even watch how the narrative changes, nor hear how the words say "not all men".</div><div><br /></div><div>Shevia, are board shorts for girls/women not available there? <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.swimoutlet.com/searchresults.asp?Search=board+shorts&amp;checkRealSearchInput=Y#page=1&amp;search=board+shorts&amp;cat=9326&amp;catlvl=2&amp;sortby=Relevance&amp;viewall=no">https://www.swimoutlet.com/sea.....e=1&#038;a</a><br /></div><div><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994131 Sun, 20 Jan 2019 03:52:30 +0000 Jaime 1994131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Why VPL is so terrible and why women have to wear bikinis and not board shorts are just two of the gender expectation things that I never really understood. I do think there is a scary lack of individualism happening, but there is a backlash also. My daughters definitely seem to have a healthier self image than I did at their age, so there's that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994023 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 21:25:35 +0000 Jenni NZ 1994023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks FashIntern. I had never seen it or heard of it until now. I loved the ad, which is perhaps predictable, but I see it as a little odd that a razor company should do it. Your fastcompany link goes back to the 9news article.I already disliked Piers Morgan.&nbsp;<br />I am not sure if my husband and son would like the ad, they might see it as sort of false I wonder but I am speculating. I'm not sure that I will show it to them. I do think they may resent a razor company telling them what to do.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994017 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 21:07:44 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1994017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>More than you want to know about that ad:</div><div><br /></div><div>Ironically, one of the first articles that popped up is from your side of the world, Jenni NZ <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.9news.com.au/2019/01/18/12/10/gillette-advert-toxic-masculinity-watch-cheers-and-anger"><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/2019/01/18/12/10/gillette-advert-toxic-masculinity-watch-cheers-and-anger" rel="nofollow">https://www.9news.com.au/2019/.....-and-anger</a> <br /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>There has been a backlash <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.rt.com/news/448892-piers-morgan-gillette-ad-toxic-masculinity/">https://www.rt.com/news/448892.....sculinity/</a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Here's a criticism from a different direction:<br /></div><div><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.9news.com.au/2019/01/18/12/10/gillette-advert-toxic-masculinity-watch-cheers-and-anger">https://www.fastcompany.com/90.....king-an-ad</a></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994005 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:12:38 +0000 Jenni NZ 1994005@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PS Janet and FashIntern, what is this Gilette ad you discuss? Unfamiliar to me here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1994004 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:09:44 +0000 Jenni NZ 1994004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree Bijou, and with mtsofthemoon who noticed an increase in these messages aimed at men. My own son has been affected. He is 22 and has not used any steroids thank goodness but he and some friends clubbed together to buy some gym equipment which was in a friend's garage and is now in ours. I find it interesting that that is the sort of exercise they have all chosen to do since about 18/19. They all did sport when younger but not being top notch soccer players all gave it up leaving high school. He said it was for strength and also to look better. I mean he looked great already as a tall slim young man!<br /> So unfortunately you will have to help your young son navigate all this. And I'm also not sure my son respects women as much as I would like, even though I tried to bring him and the girls up the same way. He and my husband are both quite hurt by advertising that shows men as stupid clueless creatures and complain that there would be a tremendous outcry if women were portrayed that way. Sadly that makes them less receptive to feminist messages, even although my husband in practice over 32 years of marriage has been the most feminist husband I could have wished with equal sharing of childcare and actually doing more cooking and cleaning than me. Which plays into FashIntern's point that we cannot separate what "we" want from society's pressures entirely. Even in bringing up my own son! And then my 25 year old daughter tells me I'm not a proper feminist for this or that reason, which amuses me. She may change her tune in another 25 years or so and see that I was the best feminist I could manage at the time </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993872 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 14:42:02 +0000 Bijou 1993872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In terms of appearance, as a mother to a young boy, I see that there is now a lot of pressure on young men to have a muscular physique.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't want women to be pressured to change themselves and feel that they need to have a breast enlargement but equally I think it is wrong for men to be told that they need to take steroids to be attractive. Has the world has gone mad? </p> <p>Whilst this may be equality, I don't think this is the world that the feminists of last century were fighting for. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993867 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 14:03:26 +0000 cloud9 1993867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for sharing! Powerful messages that make us ponder. </p> <p>This maybe a tangent, but I’ve always wondered why girls gymnastic uniform is a leotard close to a bikini bottom (but long sleeves), when they have to do splits and all that... but men get to wear long pants?.!? Just because that’s been the “norm”? Glad to see more of the biker shorts length ones now... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993835 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 10:02:42 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1993835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Janet, a meme I saw makes a similar argument--claimed that if people upset at one are "snowflakes", then the others are too. Really strange to even see the parallel being drawn between being encouraged to be a person who impacts the world positively and being told you should change your body. But then again, the fact that there are people who are pissed off at the message of the Gillette ad in the first place is already mind-bending for me. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I do think it is very easy and inaccurate to assume we can do things "for me" and not "for society", as if there were a clear, easy distinction, instead of recognizing that who we are as people is shaped at our very core by our social interactions. <br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993832 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 09:43:38 +0000 Jenni NZ 1993832@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Barbara Diane, I totally understand. I still battle with body image. It was bad in my teens even as a cute young woman (love handles appeared, they were "fat"), got better with boyfriends then husband , got a bit worse after babies but reading " The Beauty Myth" was also in my head which helped. Got worse again at menopause around 10 years ago now along with some bullying which affected me very badly at that time.<br /> So I'm with you... I know better, but the feelings are there. I am glad the younger woman who wrote the article got angry. I hope it helps her. I am angry for my daughters. They have done OK navigating it all but of course have insecurities, as must all young women. How could they not, living in this world? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993829 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 09:18:40 +0000 Suz 1993829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Jussie</b>, that is appalling!! No wonder you were upset!!</p> <p><b>Angie</b> -- I love what you said. Both/and (the gift of aging, I suspect?) We can be more enlightened/ aware and angry -- and yet also more peaceful in our hearts. It's a gift and what I hope is that those of us in our 40s and beyond can somehow transmit it to younger women in a way that they can receive it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I was a vocal feminist from a young age -- was always speaking up and always being put down for it, as a teen -- there was little support among my social group. I was the voice of "women's lib," which is laughable because temperamentally I'm unsuited to activism. Meanwhile, internally, I absorbed the same sexist messages we've all imbibed to varying degrees, and thought less well of myself (and worried about VPL! -- among other things) &nbsp;as a result.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Jenni </b>-- I think the <b>combination</b> of sexism and ageism is especially toxic. It is something those of us in our generation can perhaps do something to combat.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993815 Sat, 19 Jan 2019 07:21:41 +0000 Barbara Diane 1993815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One quick memory, taking DS2, age10? 11? to buy a bathing suit. They were all board shorts. There was a similar age girl there shopping with her mother and horrified grandmother. The girls bikinis had almost no material.</p> <p>I wish my body self esteem was higher. Growing up in LA with the blond surfer chic as the ideal did me no favors.<br /> I know better, but the feelings... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article/page/2#post-1993650 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:11:31 +0000 Jenni NZ 1993650@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Go Jussie! I totally agree. That's why I say these interests are so powerful. I totally understand why a woman may want a reconstruction of her breast/s after cancer surgery, but then the plastic surgeons could use that as an "in" for having all sorts of other procedures as well...sigh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993648 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:08:44 +0000 jussie 1993648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry that was a rant lol. Sometimes I see red about this type of stuff...... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993641 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 21:00:07 +0000 jussie 1993641@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Once I did a women’s 10k charity fun run. It was to raise money for breast cancer research. Got to the end, and they handed me my free showbag, (usually contains some freebies/product samples of sports drinks and muesli bar type things/little “medal”/tee shirt etc) and it was full of...... brochures for cosmetic surgery. Not just peels/injections but actual surgery.<br /> Call me old fashioned but I was pretty appalled to be given this at that moment in time.....<br /> No disrespect to those that choose surgery but this was a totally inappropriate setting to hand all those brochures out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993636 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 20:53:54 +0000 Sal 1993636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love your last comment Angie - and Jenni. I will be thinking about this today. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993626 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 20:29:42 +0000 Angie 1993626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of great thoughts here, ladies. Thanks for sharing, and I'm enjoying your musings.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>mtsnofthemoon </b>and<b> Helena,</b> I can only imagine how you worry about how all of this type of messaging affects your children's way of thinking. I'm sure you're great role models.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Jenni! </b>Glad you&nbsp;chimed in. It's never to late to question things. I find I'm doing that more and more - like you! Years ago, I never questioned the grossly sexist things that I simply accepted as being the way of the world. Now they are not so simple and I'm pondering a lot. Getting furious about things, AND finding peace in my heart.&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993624 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 20:28:22 +0000 nemosmom 1993624@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Love it. Thanks for sharing <b>JenniNZ</b> and <b>Angie</b>. Nodding along with <u>all</u> the responses here.<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993618 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 20:03:54 +0000 Jenni NZ 1993618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I shared it because it resonated with me. Not that I haven't thought about these issues my whole life. Being born in 1961 I was definitely too young for first wave feminism but benefitted from it- when I went to medical school in 1979 we women were 1/3 of the class which was the biggest number yet. I was familiar with the next wave of power dressing, women having it all, working while having young children, etc. I read The Beauty Myth in 1990 which really helped. What interests me is that this woman is about 25 years younger than me maybe- either pregnant with or just had her third child. And here she is saying this like she only just noticed. And me with all my feminist thoughts has never noticed that men are not criticised for VPL. It's like I absorbed from the zeitgeist that I shouldn't have VPL without ever questioning it? I agree with kkards that it's like an endless loop, I think that's because the pressures against us from powerful interests are so strong. And now those interests are trying to make men feel bad in the same "beauty myth" way </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993615 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 19:58:08 +0000 Anonymous 1993615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>re:&nbsp;&nbsp;Just like it's a personal choice for men to look attractive.</p> <p>Yes, I agree.</p> <p>I love the idea of supporting women with their beauty decisions. That includes decisions that are not necessarily popular. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993604 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 19:19:17 +0000 BrieN 1993604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good article!<br /> I wish though that she had highlighted the link between advertising and the “not good enough” messages. We are pounded all day every day by a barrage of advertisements and product placements so carefully crafted to highlight an insecurity (or create one) in order to sell a fix for it. The messages are bold to subtle but they are there all the time. The more insecure we are the more we spend to “fix” it.<br /> Why can’t you wear a dress you already own and have worn before to the event? Are you not enough? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993598 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 19:03:20 +0000 Helena 1993598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Amen and hallelujah! Agreed definitely - I want to be the best short, brunette, untannable, flat-chested me I can be (and I'm specifically picking out the bits that don't fit the "ideal") - not a second-rate anyone else. I hope my 10-year-old feels the same and will do everything in my power to make it so! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/read-this-fab-short-article#post-1993583 Fri, 18 Jan 2019 18:23:38 +0000 April 1993583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great piece, especially for those of us who are d'un certain&nbsp;âge.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>