https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 02:20:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697912 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 01:23:23 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>S</b><b></b><b>uz,&nbsp;Colette,&nbsp;Beth&nbsp;</b>I'm glad you liked that line :). And thanks for the commiseration.&nbsp;<b><br />Firecracker, </b>I hope you find another really good SA.<b><br />Ledonna N.,&nbsp;</b>Thanks for the advice. One good thing is that Nordstrom has the MOST amazing return policy.&nbsp;<b><br />Chris987,&nbsp;</b>thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad I'm not the only one who experienced it the way I did, although I wish you hadn't. It is a learning experience, isn't it.<b><br />Amy,&nbsp;</b>thanks for being here for me.<b></p> <p></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697739 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 20:54:13 +0000 Amy 1697739@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gosh, I have nothing to add to the brilliant advice you've already received, except to reiterate that we're here for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697723 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 20:34:39 +0000 Chris987 1697723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of excellent advice here.</p> <p>I can totally relate to your story&nbsp;Barbara Diane&nbsp;because I too had a negative experience with a Nordstrom Shopper a couple of years ago (not during NAS).</p> <p>To be fair, I gave her very little idea of what I was looking for because I didn't really know, but she also didn't ask me any questions. She brought me a bunch of stuff that fit reasonably well in styles that she liked. The worst part was when she said I was going to have to wait for an hour to get my stuff rung up, and asked me to go have lunch while I waited. </p> <p>I was shell shocked like you were and took a whole lot of it back. I ended up with a few good things and a couple more that I didn't really like that much.&nbsp; And I ended up redoing some alterations because they were not quite right. </p> <p>I'm glad I did it overall, it was quite an experience! I think I learned a lot (sort of the hard way) about being picky about what you want. </p> <p>If I wanted to go this route again I agree with the advice here that if you want an SA to work with&nbsp;you the relationship needs to be built over&nbsp;time and not just at NAS. And of course like any other profession, some of the shopper/stylist people are really good at what they do and others are not. </p> <p></p> <p>And ...what Angie said...!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697676 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 19:34:33 +0000 Ledonna N. 1697676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>WOW, alright great suggestions from the family.&nbsp; May I include taking a break from the sales associate.&nbsp; Buyers remorse can be a real thing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697609 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 17:55:23 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1697609@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten lots of good responses here already, and I've picked up a few tips by reading! I shopped with an SA last year and this year whom I really like. One of the remarkable things about her is how low-pressure she is, and how she really helps me find the bargains. Like a good friend, she will steer me away from over-spending on an item that just isn't worth it, <i>for me</i>. (As in, it might be very well worth it on someone else!) So they are out there, and this one, unfortunately, is moving away before next NAS. It will be hard to find a successor to her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697424 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 13:40:22 +0000 Beth 1697424@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>"I love that. "I will not be naked if I don't find what I want during the NAS." I need to remind myself of that."<br /></b><br />Yup. This is brilliant. Wise words Barbara, and hugs to you.:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697409 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 12:41:26 +0000 Colette 1697409@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just wanted to chime in and say that I'm so sorry you had an awful experience. I'm happy to know that you're feeling better about it now. And "I will not be naked if I don't find what I want at NAS", should be made into a slogan tee. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697392 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 12:14:19 +0000 Suz 1697392@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love that. "I will not be naked if I don't find what I want during the NAS." I need to remind myself of that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697335 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 07:46:51 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697335@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much <b>Angie</b>, for the hugs and the offer of help, from you and the other <b>YLFabbers</b>. I have really appreciated everyone's support and advice.</p> <p>I am looking forward to your picks.</p> <p>I have learned a lot from this, especially that some of this was self-inflicted. And that I go into scarcity mode. (If I don't buy first thing the first day everything will be gone and I will have nothing.) I can see that now, but couldn't on the 14th. But without the forum the thoughts would still have been swirling in my head. It was so useful to write them down here, and share them, and the feedback has been heart-warming.</p> <p>One of the most important things I realized was that I will not be naked if I don't find what I want during NAS. It is just one store, and just the start of the fall/winter shopping season.&nbsp;</p> <p>And I'm so pleased with my watch, necklace and comfy sneakers.</p> <p><b>Thanks Angie! Thanks everyone! I will post any keepers or questions in a new post.<br /></b></p> <p></p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long/page/2#post-1697186 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 00:34:49 +0000 Angie 1697186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(((HUGS))).</p> <p>Barbara, may I suggest that you browse yourself and take note of my top picks. Ask the forum <b>and me</b>&nbsp;questions about items and looks, and we will help you. Don't feel bad about doing that. I would love to give you some NAS TLC. I am always on YOUR side, and not on the side of the retailer.&nbsp;</p> <p>As Suz mentioned, everything is returnable and no one will make you feel bad for returning items. Nordstrom absolutely expects a high volume of returns.&nbsp;</p> <p>And last, despite the ongoing weight loss,<i> you always dress the body you have now.&nbsp;</i>Purchase fewer things - that's all.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697175 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 00:21:24 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Update-the necklace came early. I love it as it is something I've never seen before. I would love if it was silver instead of silvertone, but I am smiling, smiling. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697173 Tue, 19 Jul 2016 00:19:20 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697173@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks <b>Muffin</b>. This post and everyone's responses have really helped.<br />I also realized today that I didn't look at the clothes from the side or back.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697089 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 21:42:31 +0000 Muffin 1697089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so glad you took the time to write this and that others have chimed in with helpful advice and stories. I think there is so much hype around NAS it can be just like a big holiday- lots of expectations/disappointments. </p> <p>Please take pictures and really evaluate what you bought but more importantly if it isn't for you (lifestyle, need or $$$) feel absolutely no regret or guilt for returning.</p> <p>I have a designer shoe SA whom I adore. I am by no means among his biggest clients and he has never pressured me to buy (if anything he is great about telling me not to). So the good ones are out there but it may take some time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697064 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 21:07:26 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Joyce B,</b>&nbsp;Thanks for the support and all the return information. I really think I have to go back a little clearer on what I want. </p> <p>I haven't purchased anything yet except a shirt that I am returning because once I got it home I realized it wasn't as flattering as I thought.<br />I will go back to try on everything she ordered for me, and hopefully some of the ones I requested will fill some holes. I do want a few things and she does know the products better than me. I may take someone with me who knows me but can envision me upgraded.<br />And, I will take everything home and try it on at home before I remove the tags. Maybe that will be where I try things on for my DH's and friends comments.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697037 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 20:33:13 +0000 Joyce B 1697037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry that you had that awful experience with the SA. It's hard enough to navigate the sale, decide what you need and figure out if it fits.<br /> You don't need anyone to push stuff and make decisions for you.<br /> I have not made any appointments with SAs. I am sure there are some good ones but I do not want to go through the interaction and pushiness that may ensue. Personally, if I felt that someone pushed me to buy something I would return it no matter how well it fit or how I liked it. If things become a matter of manipulation and guilt, I do not want the purchase. Maybe I should make an appointment after all because that would save me a lot of money as I would not buy a thing!<br /> Please do not feel bad, just return what you do not want and move on. After all you are the one who will be paying the bill, nobody will ask you if you need help with that.<br /> BTW, you can also return Nordstrom's merchandise at the Rack and Nordstrom's proper has now a return desk right by the main entrance, you will not need to interact again with her if you don't want to.<br /> Congrats on the weight loss! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697031 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 20:28:49 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just realized, I'm really happy with my shoes and watch, and hopefully my arriving Wednesday necklace. They are all happy purchases. I'm going to focus on that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697030 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 20:27:40 +0000 Suz 1697030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>GREAT idea to take some photos. :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697026 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 20:16:52 +0000 Barbara Diane 1697026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>julesegr,&nbsp;</b>thanks for sharing your experience with me. I think you are right about the first day of the sale. She is still crazy busy, but is chasing things down for me. I actually said to her, at the outset of our time, that at least she will learn what I like even if I don't find clothes. I have to say, I had her almost undivided attention.<br />I think I was panicked that if I didn't shop the first day things would sell out. I need to remember that these are not the only clothes in the world!<br />And, actually, except for shoes, and longchamp, I often have better luck at other stores.</p> <p>I will be meeting with her again when everything comes in, and I'm counting on taking what I learned from everyone here into that meeting.<b><br /></b><b><br />KnittingGene,&nbsp;</b>thanks for your comments about my choice to post this. I really thought about it before I posted, but this is such a great community. I am certainly experiencing personal growth through this, thanks for pointing it out.<br />I really appreciate your comment about negative associations. I am definitely mulling it over. It could go either way, negative from the experience, or positive, from growth. I'll see when I put them on again. I'm so glad you've made me aware of this. I also really like the idea that I could find other great things. Doesn't have to be these. Come to think of it, I realize that at least one of the items I don't see as great.&nbsp;</p> <p>I just realized that even if she is there, I can snap a photo or two of myself in the outfits, as sometimes it is easier to see clearly in a photo. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1697001 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:49:12 +0000 KnittingGene 1697001@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Barbara Diane, how great that you wrote this post. Obviously you provided support for others with similar experiences and, as mentioned, it's helping you process the experience. Who says shopping can't be a place for lessons about ourselves? I often feel that when we are trying to notice unhelpful patterns in ourselves (like avoiding conflict), we don't really notice it fully until after the fact. But that's OK because it adds to what we know we need to change next time. I think you're doing a ton of self-learning! Well done.</p> <p>I would also say that, if it were me, I might not feel that I could fully embrace the outside-my-usual style-items from this encounter because they would be full of some negative associations. It would be OK to let those go this time and re-consider something similar on your own later. Just a thought. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696996 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:41:22 +0000 julesegr 1696996@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Last year was my first shopping the NAS in person. I don't have a Nordstrom near me but I was visiting family near a big, well-stocked store, so I went at the end of July. While there, I met a great SA and my experience was a lot like CC's. Yes, I spent more than I expected and went out of my comfort zone a little, but I really loved what she did to tweak my style. It was definitely a learning curve getting to know each other, but we hit it off and I continued to work with her all year, via text.&nbsp;</p> <p>Flash forward to this year. I made an appointment with the SA for opening day but it was not <i>at all</i>&nbsp;the same experience! While she had pulled some things for me in a room (mostly unique or wildcard pieces that might sell out), she also had things she pulled for other clients in there, too. She darted in and out, leaving me mostly on my own, so she could answer texts or place orders for other clients, I assume. In the end, I tried on everything she selected, let her ring me up for anything I thought might make it to Round 2 (with 3x points), and had it all sent home. I'm going through it now, and ordering some things on my own here and there, and made another appointment at the end of the month to finish up in a more relaxed manner.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;<br />I say this because it became clear to me that the first days of the sale are probably <i>not</i> the best time to have a good, long, 1-on-1 with a SA (or get to know a new one). I still think my SA is great, but I'm sure NAS is overwhelming and stressful for her, too (especially someone making her living in the designer area, as she is). She did the best she could, but I did begin to feel guilty that I was taking too much of her time that day. If I didn't have our previous relationship to go on, I'm sure I wouldn't have liked her at all. A personal stylist can be a real asset, so it may be worth giving her, or another, SA another try later in the sale, or after, when things have calmed down. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696994 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:40:32 +0000 Barbara Diane 1696994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, my cousin that got great help at Macy's? She hadn't bought (or worn) a dress in many, many years. She spent 40 minutes and was overwhelmed and about to leave, but she needed one for something. She remembered a friend had mentioned using a stylist, so she had a SA get her one. The SA pulled out several dresses my cousin liked but never would have considered and brought one home. Her DH was pleased and asked her why she hadn't bought more. They went back and bought the rest of them. Now she wears dresses and looks so good. So, it can work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696990 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:35:30 +0000 Barbara Diane 1696990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Robin. Yes, the intersection of image and money. Both personal. I am re-learning and re-learning and re-learning some of these lessons. I guess until I learn them. I was thinking of her more than me. And it is really annoying that my store stopped carrying my size. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696985 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:25:06 +0000 Barbara Diane 1696985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>SW Ann,&nbsp;</b>sorry to hear about your experience. However, your DH's experience shows that it can work. She says hopefully.<br /><b>Suz,&nbsp;</b>thanks for the sympathy and the idea of training her. I think she would be open to it. I think I just somehow forgot me in the whole process. She had picked up a summer item on sale for so cheap I really didn't think about it. Got it home and realized I didn't like it as much as what I already owned, so back it goes.<br /><b>Classically Casual,&nbsp;</b>thanks for telling me your experience. Makes me hopeful. I was definitely reeling. Two of the items she picked might work, but I have to wrap my head around them. Are they a good nudge in a new direction or destined to become little worn mistakes?<br /><b>smittie,&nbsp;</b>all I can say is me too. Our contractor is my friend's husband, he took a 9 to 5, and I hate to bring up having him finish it. And I think he doesn't want us to get upset at the bill so he's avoiding it all also.<br /><b>BC,&nbsp;</b>please don't let it dissuade you. I think the best idea is to not go needing anything, not go during NAS until you know your person is a fit for you, feel ok not to purchase, and know why you are going. And print out examples of your wardrobe, items you are interested in, and let her throw in some wild cards. And probably the magic words, of course, I'll have to take it home and see how it works in my wardrobe. Of course, since one of the items in question for me was a dress, it doesn't really have to go with much. I think I should have started with me, not what she had pulled. It is different in my case because clothes that fit me aren't in my store.&nbsp;</p> <p>So, some of my situation is my own uncertainty, and the fact that I need more time than others to process things. And some is that I really did not know what to expect. And some is that I need to not feel guilty if I have her bring in a lot of clothes. It's not my fault they eliminated my department.</p> <p>So, I'm still processing but making progress.<br />Thanks everyone!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696981 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 19:13:14 +0000 Robin 1696981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo all the sympathy and perspective you've gotten so far. It's super-hard to deal when you're feeling pressure around things as personal as what you want to wear, and how you spend your money.</p> <p>Re feeling guilty: It strikes me that your local store is the one putting you and the stylist in a bind by not stocking your sizes. IMHO, the stylist should *not* have given you a hard time about charging those items to her expense&nbsp; card, since the store doesn't give you the option of trying your sizes on in the first place. IN short, the store doesn't give you the choices customers who shop other sizes have, and the options you are getting aren't meeting your needs. It's quite a different thing to have something ordered for you to try&nbsp; because the store ran out of your size, than to have everything ordered because they don't even stock your size. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696963 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:29:34 +0000 Anonymous 1696963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh dear! I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience. Don't feel sorry about venting; we all have to do that once in a while.</p> <p>I've never used the services of a SA, and now I'm beginning to think I never will. I don't live close to a Nordstrom right now anyway, so I do have to order online. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696961 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:26:48 +0000 Anonymous 1696961@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Barbara Diane, this sounds exactly like me! I love the SAs and I love shopping but it ends up being a totally irrational carnival of random, purposeless shopping. And then I actually feel guilty about returning things because the SA was so nice. Sigh.</p> <p>I think others have given good advice but wanted to let you know that you're not alone! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696957 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:22:30 +0000 Classically Casual 1696957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Over the years I've had a few appointments with Nordy's stylists, though not during NAS. I bought much of what they selected, and quietly reeled from the total expenditure all at one time. HOWEVER, those items inveribly upped my style, wore well, and were total and enjoyable workhorses.<br /> Maybe your story will have a<br /> happy ending too? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696955 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:21:49 +0000 Suz 1696955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another thought: It's a bit like training a hairstylist -- the person needs to get to know you, so what I was saying earlier and what <b>SW Ann</b> said is helpful -- presumably if they know you in advance it works better.&nbsp;</p> <p>Either that, or you have to go into the meeting knowing yourself 100% and your needs, fit preferences, colours, etc. And be willing to fight for those. ;)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696954 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:19:09 +0000 Suz 1696954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, my -- I <b>really</b> don't like the sounds of that last bit:&nbsp;</p> <p><i>"before I had time to look and decide about something she told me to take it off because she didn't like it. I literally hadn't had time to see it for more than a second.</i>&nbsp;"</p> <p>She was railroading you!! No wonder you felt pressured, bamboozled, and confused. That is just unfair.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Peri's</b> story makes me realize that stylists are a bit like therapists -- there has to be a fit between the two of you or the relationship is not going to work out!&nbsp;</p> <p>The truth is, I don't live near a Nordstrom's and traditionally have done all my NAS shopping online where I have time to deliberate and consider, as <b>Author Linda</b> puts it, and my introverted self can make up and change my mind to my heart's content (or at least until the item is gone, LOL.)&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway. This one sounds like somebody you cannot work with; she's too overbearing and doesn't "get" you.&nbsp;</p> <p>Try not to feel guilty for returning things or not buying things she has ordered. They aren't for you.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rantings-etc-advise-request-very-long#post-1696948 Mon, 18 Jul 2016 18:04:31 +0000 SW Ann 1696948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, dear.&nbsp; I only am writing because I, too, have had a horrible experience with a Nordy stylist&nbsp; several years ago&nbsp; I have since then done all my own shopping myself online.&nbsp; I've found it has worked better.&nbsp; I find, in general, the sale to be very unsatisfying except for either designer/very high end items (to you) that you can buy now at lower price (example--better undies, handbags, accessories in general) OR for basic needs you already know you love.&nbsp; Everything else for me has been a "wild card" .&nbsp; Mostly, the sale has been a GREAT place to replenish my DHs wardrobe. but not so much for me.&nbsp; I won't go into details about my awful stylist experience in Scottsdale AZ except to say--she did not listen to one thing I said, was 1/2 an hour late for my appointment, and was upset at me because I didn't buy more.&nbsp; Last year, I went with my DH and took him to see a male stylist that we'd had experience with in the past helping him.&nbsp;&nbsp; He did a really good job and I would consider asking him for help for me if there was something specific I wanted.&nbsp; I think if you think you might want help in the future--make an appt outside of sale time to get to know someone so she can help at sale time.&nbsp; Otherwise, you probably know yourself best.&nbsp; I think the sale is overhyped, and sometimes, one can find some great things.&nbsp; Sometimes, you won't.&nbsp; </p>