https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:04:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1114912 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 19:47:02 +0000 Louise 1114912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay so pleased the treatment is finished. I think a good friend will understand and let you have a moan, you've been through a very difficult time. I'm sure there'll come a time when you can repay the favour and let her chew your ear off! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1112024 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 17:23:58 +0000 Scarlet 1112024@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hurray, Tanya! I am so happy for you and wishing you strength for the difficult times still ahead. You have been so brave and strong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111971 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 16:38:02 +0000 texstyle 1111971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, </p> <p>I agree with the others, don't spend any more time regretting anything you said to your friends - they are your friends&nbsp;and letting a friend vent is part of friendship, you know? We all do it to some point, esp. when we are stressed. </p> <p>As for trying to change the habit of saying too much (if you really think it is a general problem and not just related to the past few months), you likely can change that habit. I once met with a business counselor as part of the senior business mentor program. He stopped me at one point in our discussion (as I was blurting on and on about our business plans) and said "You want to know one of the big secrets to success in business?" And of course I did, and he said&nbsp; something like "Stop talking so much&nbsp;and wait for the other person to say something." Then he proceeded to give me some examples of how this works. I began using it as a negotiating tool right away and to my amazement, it was so helpful.&nbsp; I had been guilty of trying to answer questions I hadn't even been asked - which was likely leading to all sorts of insinuations on my own part in my own head. By practicing the act of being quiet, purposefully, it slowly became a habit and I've used it all my life since that one meeting many years ago.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111678 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 06:40:55 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1111678@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So glad to hear that is complete and wish you the best these next few hard weeks of recovering and taking time for self care. &nbsp;Sending you hugs and healing prayers.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111520 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 03:34:11 +0000 LACeleste 1111520@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya,</p> <p>Please don't be upset AT ALL with yourself. &nbsp;You have been through an extremely traumatic situation. &nbsp;</p> <p>It is a privilege to be a confidante--to be&nbsp;there for someone and to truly listen to their concerns.</p> <p>We are here to help each other.</p> <p>I really think most people feel this way.</p> <p>Things are very emotional right now. &nbsp;Please cut yourself some slack and completely excuse yourself.</p> <p>Happy healing thoughts to you.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111353 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:20:41 +0000 Kristin L 1111353@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay!&nbsp;I'm so happy your past this hurdle! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111288 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 23:22:27 +0000 Tanya 1111288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks ladies, much appreciated.<br />Mary K, I&nbsp; am in therapy, though I need to find a new therapist.&nbsp; I have been seeing a specialized cancer&nbsp; counselor (social worker by training) throughout my treatments, who was very nice and helpful.&nbsp; However, I can not keep seeing her anymore as that hospital is over an hour drive away and I do not drive.&nbsp; It was one thing to find drivers for radiation therapy - I will never be able to repay them as long as I live.&nbsp; But it would be very impractical and impossible to keep doing that for therapy, and I wouldn't want everyone knowing I am going there anyway. So now I need to find a good local psychologist that I can see discreetly on my own. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111276 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 23:05:52 +0000 MsMary 1111276@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, are you going to therapy at all?&nbsp; If not, let me urge you to give it a try!&nbsp; I've been in therapy for quite a while now, and it's so helpful because not only can I bend Dr. Shrink's ear about all the things I would otherwise bore my friends with, but I can bend his ear about how I'm so mortified about bending my friends' ears about all my problems!&nbsp; (And for the record, he assures me that I'm not nearly as horrifying as I think I am, and I'd bet a million bucks you're not nearly as horrifying as you think you are, either.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1111236 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 22:17:36 +0000 RoseandJoan 1111236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, I think many of us have been in a similar situation! </p> <p>I have literally chewed my friend's ear off with frustration over the lack of support when issues arose relating to DD's autism but I have since been able to repay her tolerance and kindness and our friendship is stronger as a result.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110965 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 17:43:22 +0000 Tanya 1110965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for making me feel alittle better ladies, but I am still pretty upset at myself. Mortified actually.&nbsp; I am currently thinking of sending a good apology and thinking of inviting the friend in question to a movie (during which I would have to be quiet), but I am not sure if this would make the things better or worse and if she has had enough of me for a while. Urgh... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110337 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 02:00:51 +0000 deb 1110337@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am glad you are over this part of the journey. As you said you are tired physically and emotionally so falling into old habits can happen. Be kind to yourself right now. You need it and deserve it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110321 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 01:46:11 +0000 Diana 1110321@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you that I for one do not mind at all if my friends whom I have not seen in a while want to over share, especially if they've just gone through a life changing event. I think it's probably good for you to talk about what you're going through anyway, and I think your true friends will understand. </p> <p>And you know you can always share as much as you want here, right? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110168 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 00:11:49 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 1110168@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, it is absolutely normal to be a tiny bit self-absorbed after a life-threatening illness especially when you are quite young.&nbsp; Your friends will understand that and continue to support you.&nbsp; Do not worry about this at all.</p> <p>And if they are your friends, then they already know you are an over sharer and love you anyway.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110149 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 00:02:24 +0000 MsMary 1110149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, I think you are more than entitled to share your disappointment and pain with your friends and loved ones!&nbsp; They are there to support you and I know if I were in their shoes I would be honored that you felt close enough to let loose and let some of it out!&nbsp; </p> <p>That said, I am a gigantic over-sharer myself so I know how you feel.&nbsp; A couple of suggestions:&nbsp; Can you tell the people who visit you, up front, that you are in a very vulnerable position and although it really helps to share your difficulties, you hope that they will keep your sharing at this time confidential?&nbsp; </p> <p>And this is crazy but it's something I might try:&nbsp; Set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes and when it goes off, say "Okay, that's enough of me complaining for now.&nbsp; Your turn to tell me what's up with you!"&nbsp; I actually did something similar when I had houseguests visiting a few months ago, right when I was in the thick of filing for divorce -- set a 5-minutes-at-a-time limit on divorce talk.&nbsp; It worked really well and even when I went over time, it lightened the mood. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110133 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 23:48:38 +0000 Tanya 1110133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your kindness never ceases to amaze me.&nbsp; It is a always a wonderful feeling to read all these encouraging words.</p> <p>It is such a pleasure not to hurry anywhere and have a relaxing day.&nbsp; I had a long visit from a friend today ( and two other ones on Sunday).&nbsp; These are almost the first in-house visits I had in the past two months (with one or two exceptions) and I was beyond thrilled.&nbsp; However, I am fairly annoyed at myself.&nbsp; During all the visits, particularly today's one, I talked and talked and talked.&nbsp; Mostly complained and talked about various cancer related things.&nbsp; And also, even tough I did not want to do it, ended up also talking about my loneliness and how hurt I was some friends disappeared (obviously not the ones that visited) and how I don't know how to deal with it and so on.</p> <p>Now, I am partly excusing myself since I know that I am literally starved for human contact and attention, so once I had it the flood doors opened.&nbsp; Nevertheless, I was told in the past and I am aware myself that i talk too much, Over share.&nbsp; Than regret it later.&nbsp; And I know it is disrespectful and ungrateful to complain about the people whose disappearance&nbsp; hurt me to joint acquaintances - I should leave that for my counselor and people who do not know them.&nbsp; Yet I can not seem to help myself.&nbsp; And now I do not like myself much for doing this.&nbsp; I wish I could change, talk less and control more what I am sharing.&nbsp; Every time I say I will be better next time, and every time I fail in some manner.&nbsp; I am afraid that if I continue with this annoying and inapropriate behaviour I will drive these few friends I have left away as well.&nbsp; Sigh... How do i change and overcome these tendencies? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1110101 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 23:27:27 +0000 RoseandJoan 1110101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, thank you for sharing your journey with the forum. Your experience is teaching me a lot and I hope&nbsp;as a result&nbsp;to be more compassionate to love ones if the need arises in the future.</p> <p>I am sorry things are likely to get worse, I guess each day ticked off is a day closer to&nbsp;the new normal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1109905 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 20:11:45 +0000 bella 1109905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay, Tanya! so happy for you! I also want to say that I am always late to your threads nowadays, but that's because of the time difference:)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1109822 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 18:27:44 +0000 Parsley 1109822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hooray, Tanya!<br />I'm so happy for you that one more phase is behind you!<br />I'm hoping that the next couple of months aren't as bad as you fear, and that you can begin to feel better soon.<br />Thinking of you, and sending you my all my best thoughts and prayers for strength and healing!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1109807 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 18:09:45 +0000 Peri 1109807@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So glad for you that this part is over. Wishing you all the best as you recover and get back to health. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over/page/2#post-1109798 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 17:58:57 +0000 Debora 1109798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Tanya, I am tearing up just reading this, and I am so happy that this phase of your treatment is over. You have been so strong and brave throughout it all, and I am in awe of your grace and courage. Hugs and continued warm wishes for a smooth recovery! xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109776 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 17:35:38 +0000 Mo 1109776@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ugh. &nbsp;Glad that the worst is behind you at least. &nbsp;Yay! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109759 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 17:21:37 +0000 annagybe 1109759@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hooray!<br /> Hopefully the worse won't be too much worse. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109728 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 16:57:43 +0000 Alassë 1109728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations, Tanya! I'm so glad for you that it's over! Looking forward to "seeing" you during recovery when you can. May it be a wonderful, healing time for you without anxiousness as you let your body recover. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109691 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 16:17:32 +0000 Beth Ann 1109691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So glad to hear the treatments are behind you!&nbsp; Be gentle to yourself in the next few weeks, and begin my relieving your mind of any "shoulds" with regard to YLF.&nbsp; There is no obligation on this end!&nbsp; Participate in the way that works for you right now!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109676 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 16:04:18 +0000 Angie 1109676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>There is light at the end of the tunnel.&nbsp;</b>We are rejoicing and celebrating with you. Rest and Restore, Darling Tanya. You are a CHAMPION.&nbsp;<br /><b><br /></b>No need to thank us at all. We are here to help you as much as we can. Lots of love always. xo<b></b></p> <b><br /> </b> <p><b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109652 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 15:33:08 +0000 Isis 1109652@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So glad the radiation part is OVER! &nbsp;Yay! &nbsp;Here's to a faster recovery.</p> <p>You are doing so amazingly well……I admire each one of your posts. &nbsp;It is hard but you are kicking it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109645 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 15:27:25 +0000 Classically Casual 1109645@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So happy that you've achieved this milestone, Tanya!</p> <p>You're young, healthy and you rock! Once you've rested from the radiation, let's kick cancer's butt, and defy those medical norms. Use every method you can find to restore energy, health &amp; vitality to the new, and CANCER FREE Tanya. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109622 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 14:57:56 +0000 Diana 1109622@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay!!!! &nbsp;It's OVER! &nbsp;I've been thinking about you a lot lately. &nbsp;I'm glad you are through this phase and can now begin working on recovering. &nbsp;I'm looking forward to seeing the healthier, more vibrant, and more fabulous new you in the new year.&nbsp;</p> <p>((((hugs)))) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109587 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 14:22:21 +0000 LACeleste 1109587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is the best news Tanya!! &nbsp;I am so happy for you! &nbsp;We will all be thinking of you as you recover. Sweet dreams! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/radiation-over#post-1109581 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 14:19:59 +0000 Janet 1109581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, I wish I could have let you know every time you have crossed my thoughts lately. I'm so glad this treatment is behind you, and I am praying that only healing and improvement lies ahead! Big hugs to you, and a virtual toast to your recovery and a much healthier new year! </p>