https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:55:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2083004 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:30:46 +0000 Kari 2083004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Whatever is going on in private, I think it is extremely inappropriate and drama-inciting to call this person out on a public thread, especially if you say Angie has asked you not to.<br /> I’m asking you to stop it. I am not going to argue about this.<br /> Carla has asked us to let this thread go. Please, let’s do that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2083000 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:22:26 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2083000@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Janet, I came back to add an eta, but your comment picks up the same point, so I'll add it as a reply. This person is really interesting. Her pattern of thinking is skew to mine. It is really fascinating. Understanding what she is talking about can be really hard sometimes, because I will think she is on a straight trajectory from point A to B to C, and she will go nowhere near C, and wind up somewhere I've never heard of. I don't mean to say that she has no logic. I'm sure she does, and when it is explained to me, whole new areas open up, so it is great when I can figure out not just how she made that journey but lots of other things that could come from that same way of approaching things. Not being able (per her request and Angie's support of it) to ask her directly what she's talking about means I either try 50 other ways to get at the point through back and forth with other people, or I just let it go. I don't do either of those consistently. I like her just fine, am sorry my questions drive her crazy, don't see what she has against me. All I can figure out is that one way our thinking is different is that when I see something I don't understand, I want to figure it out, she is apparently one of the many people to whom "different" and "interesting" mean "ew, stay away". There have been a couple go-rounds of her writing to tell me to go away, me continuing to not interact, then just as I wonder if it's getting better, she does it again. I don't know why she doesn't like me. But the girl who lived near us in fifth grade who was always mysteriously pissed off at me has now sent me a friend request on Facebook, so maybe there is hope. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Kari, what is it that you don't find nice? It's strange to hear someone call me passive aggressive. I tend to say exactly what I mean. If I say something is "nice", you don't need to read any snitty or rotten tone of voice into it--I mean it's nice. When I say "fascinating", I mean it is compelling and makes a person want to dig in and understand it. I use "different" and "interesting" as per their dictionary definitions as well, not as some kind of insult--was in my 30s before I understood that people use them that way. <br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082995 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:11:57 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082995@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Synne, I can't figure out that it does any good at all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082992 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:03:52 +0000 Carla 2082992@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am saddened by the negative turn this thread has taken. No matter your feelings about what has been written up-thread, please refrain from adding new comments so that this post can slip off the page and disappear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082991 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:03:44 +0000 Synne 2082991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Could someone explain the "block" button to me, please? The blocked user can still see your posts and replies, but the blocked users posts are hidden from YOU? Or am I wrong about that? Could this future need a tweak? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082990 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 22:03:32 +0000 Gaylene 2082990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“Forum mischief” is a good way to put it, Janet. Places snippy comments and backbiting in its proper context! &nbsp;:)</p> <p>Seriously, though, I do think that “plain speaking” needs to be accompanied by a modicum of sensitivity when we are dealing with a diverse community of ages and cultures. It’s possible to convey a different perspective by making it clear the thought is just my opinion—nothing more and nothing less, (2) not assuming others will agree with me (as witnessed by heads probably shaking at this very moment &nbsp;;) &nbsp;) and (3) avoiding unflattering labels, passive aggressive comments, and less than positive assumptions about people I’ve never met in real life. &nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>YLF has been a lovely diversion for the past decade and I’d love to feel that new members can experience the friendship and support I’ve experienced here.&nbsp;</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082984 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:54:29 +0000 Kari 2082984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Also a reminder that the “block” button exists if there’s someone we don’t want to see or interact with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082983 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:52:43 +0000 Kari 2082983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, I was going to say the same as your last paragraph. And no, FI, that is not “nice”.<br /> Angie works incredibly hard to set a supportive and friendly tone. She’s on vacation right now. Please, let her enjoy it. Let’s stop calling posters out for whatever has happened privately between you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082979 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:43:44 +0000 MsMaven 2082979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a good reminder as I am also prompted to look at my profile and update it a bit. I'm still thinking about the photo of me. I don't think Jett will mind too much if my image replaces hers. She sleeps most of the time anyway.</p> <p>Before I came here I belonged to another fashion forum that eventually had to close down because of unnecessary harassment of posters. First it went completely private, then the owners just quit. It has been so great to come here where it feels so much safer, yet I still learn so much.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082976 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:35:31 +0000 Neelie 2082976@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread prompted me to finally put a picture in my profile, after 6 years! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082971 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:28:47 +0000 Janet 2082971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, I agree that the metaphor is deeply flawed. Let's take a step back here. We are talking about reporting or responding to sketchy forum posts, not criminal behavior.&nbsp;</p> <p>But hey, look, if someone wanted to sow distrust and poison the well of a mostly-peaceful community, they are succeeding. Let's not have quality veteran forum participants abandon ship to let the trolls take over, please. I would think we could point out forum mischief and encourage good participation without fighting and accusing.&nbsp;</p> <p>FI, I'm going to just come out and say this. Some of your comments here are quite passive-aggressive. I don't know specifics of who or what has gotten you upset, and I'm sorry you feel wronged, but I've seen you talk about off-forum discussions before, and that's just not cool. If it's off-forum, it's for a reason. If you have a beef with someone, please take it off of here.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082969 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:25:09 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, fwiw, I far prefer plain talk when an outfit I post has a problem. My son had to learn this. When I first started asking him how I looked, he would always work to find a compliment. I eventually told him that if there was something wrong with what I was wearing, I much prefer to hear it from him than go out into the world that way. I feel the same about the forum. As much as I appreciate the kudos when I put together an outfit well, i also want to hear when someone thinks one isn’t working. I take those comments the same way I do my son’s: look at what they are talking about and decide if it matters to me. Maybe it does and I change it. Maybe it doesn’t, but then I’m aware that some people might have that issue with it. That’s good too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082965 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:13:49 +0000 Gaylene 2082965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That’s a rather alarming comparison, Rachylou.</p> <p>I have difficulty envisioning Angie and Greg adopting a “shoot first, ask questions later” approach to someone whose post has been reported by a YLF forum member. We aren’t talking about criminal behavior here, but how intentional discourtesy and insensitivity can dissuade people from participating on the forum.&nbsp;</p> <p>I’m also getting a bit tired of “frankness” being used to camouflage sniping. I’m thinking this might mean it’s time for me to move away from the forum.</p> <div><br /></div><div><br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082964 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 21:13:08 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachylou, is this what you are referring to? <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_Y0LwX0uOz-P63FVhV0OFkDObbBXcy16YPOcsqnBqto/edit" rel="nofollow">https://docs.google.com/docume.....nBqto/edit</a> I strongly agree with it; there are many things we can do to build up our civil society in the US rather than call the police, which can be just as awful as you say. I don’t think the same is true of reporting spam posts. For one thing, this is a private website, not civil society. But beyond that, alerting them might, at its most drastic, remove someone from the forum. So I guess you could call that “forum death” if you want to, but it is nowhere near as drastic as the real thing. </p> <p>Lisa, after the incredible success of the “for dummies” books series, I assumed most people recognize that as an off handed, somewhat tongue-in-cheek way to refer to oneself and others in a similar low-knowledge position. I do agree with you that it is offensive to label other people that way (which is why most of us stop doing it in third grade). I am glad to hear that you are welcoming of people who are here to learn. On your other point, there is only one person who sends me the messages you mention, but seeing as Angie says it is fine for her to do so and I shouldn’t call her out publicly, the notion that this is a snuggly place where everyone is warm and welcome is disproved. If that was the kind of place Angie wanted, she would firmly reprimand this individual, and remove her from the forum for continuing, or find some other way to insist that no one play that way in her house. She has made it clear that she doesn’t care. So yeah, when people get warm and fuzzy about how safe this corner is, that person’s permission to send me those messages immediately comes to mind. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/3#post-2082949 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 20:25:32 +0000 rachylou 2082949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a rule from living in the ghetto where everyone looks dangerous, either guilty of something or crazy: there is no such thing as preemptive justice. Don’t call the police and don’t shoot until you’ve witnessed personally an actual crime. Because the police always shoot first. If the person was innocent, then guess who’s the criminal? That’s right: Me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082947 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 20:18:15 +0000 Janet 2082947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some of the reading I mentioned earlier. Beware, some of this gets into current US politics, but it's important. No matter where we are on the political spectrum, we are being played. This is a long, long game.&nbsp;</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.technologyreview.com/s/614572/political-war-memes-disinformation/?fbclid=IwAR3tsKFeQ5rU8BQE--Pm2VUPkXz1y7TWyjr4IS5pj_1BEdFnXVguZrU9Us4">https://www.technologyreview.c.....tsKFeQ5rU8</a></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/russia-troll-2020-election-interference-twitter-916482/amp/?__twitter_impression=true&amp;fbclid=IwAR2juAGyT5Bce6sc74YVkl-xqnCGHBseDFcixVDtjxjQxXZjLUjXd9SP3lA">https://www.rollingstone.com/p.....rence-twit</a></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/11/15/heres-how-russia-will-attack-election-were-still-not-ready/?fbclid=IwAR1vUAosEZPsik2D1OQXPFZY-kWgai4MQqAY7Zit6oytRvHWWrXHJS4106Y">https://www.washingtonpost.com.....ere-still-</a></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.voanews.com/usa/pentagon-concerned-russia-cultivating-sympathy-among-us-troops">https://www.voanews.com/usa/pe.....-us-troops</a></p> <p>Potential for digital distraction techniques being employed to affect elections:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/11/russian-hacking-20-could-employ-a-whole-new-bag-of-digital-dirty-tricks?fbclid=IwAR2NTuvBLu9jK-CMxQbziTaXMSl8szZy8LaiETCPG871eCe4T2zy-qS5dgU">https://www.vanityfair.com/new.....-digital-d</a></p> <p>And if you want to start digging deeper:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RR2713.html?fbclid=IwAR1OMyT9PoYCx1StophixZSR4HtvvEE6huUDOF4X5SfAZTDDQ481p19q9UE">https://www.rand.org/pubs/rese.....tvvEE6huUD</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082945 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 20:04:43 +0000 Roxanna 2082945@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the reminder Carla - just updated mine :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082938 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 19:31:11 +0000 Gaylene 2082938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good reminder, Carla, to update our profiles every now and then because a lot does change in a decade. ;)</p> <p>Over the years the YLF forum has been blessedly free of trolls and ugly comments because everyone from Greg and Angie on down has been diligent about keeping the atmosphere warm and welcoming but always respectful. Janet’s list of questionable behaviors is very close to mine because, unlike a fairly obvious marketing-driven post, those behaviors are ones which are contrary to the atmosphere which Angie strives to create on this site. We can ask questions, have different opinions and interests, and look for different things from this site, but it’s both rude and disrespectful to barge into a group expecting to be included without offering anything in return. The “waiting period” before posting pictures is a newcomer’s chance to indicate a willingness to respond to others’ needs and questions before expecting the same in return.&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>I’ve always thought participation in the YLF forum was a privilege, not a right. Picking fights with other members, asking without giving, and not respecting the forum’s diversity are not in keeping with why most of us seek out this corner of the internet. I’m thankful for forum members, like Carla and Janet, who care enough to keep these kinds of disruptions to a minimum.&nbsp;<div><br /></div></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082933 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 19:12:35 +0000 Anonymous 2082933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fashintern - you often make references to members here who message you , tell you not to engage with their friends , ( and now you have members engaging with trolls to feed their own ego , and other assorted miserable things ) . This is in many threads , not just this one . I wonder if it’s better to not refer to members this way - these comments leave me , for one , at a loss . Do you want response or acknowledgment or advice or commiseration ? And who are “these people “ and “ certain members” ? There seems to be a tone of petulance - and maybe I’m better off ignoring it , but you do have a lot to say here . What kind of engagement are you looking for with these remarks ? And lastly - there are no *fashion dummies* - simply many people ( not just here ) who are uneducated and inexperienced in the world of fashion and design . Just as there are many inexperienced and uneducated in woodworking No one is a dummy and everyone is welcome , especially those eager to learn </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082924 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 18:24:33 +0000 Tina 2082924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There is also an old, ongoing thread where people can introduce themselves. I believe Nicole started it years ago. Every once in a while I read the latest ones. There are actually a number of people who use that as an intro. Some are like me and don’t post a lot but they enjoy the forum and wade in from time to time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082917 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 18:10:55 +0000 Anonymous 2082917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet - interesting comments regarding disruptors. (So?) . I’d like to read more about this .... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082904 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:59:18 +0000 Carla 2082904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Janet - yes. I heard a radio show about what you describe. Just the first paragraph of this says a lot.</p> <p><a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll" rel="nofollow">https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll</a></p> <p>There is a pattern here on YLF. They seem to come out more when Angie goes on a trip or is occupied with something special.</p> <p>HOWEVER, the request to update profiles was not just about trolls. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082895 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:19:53 +0000 Helena 2082895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, interested to read those articles too! It's annoying but also quite fascinating, and information about their tactics is surely their worst enemy.</p> <p>Jenna, I hadn't thought of it either - buy as Janet says, it's the combination I think ... Like a new profile with no info plus odd activity on the forum ... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082893 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:12:08 +0000 Janet 2082893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FI, links like that (omg look at the amazing deals I got at cheapdressesdotcom or some such) are so obviously spam that I didn’t even bother to list them. I immediately report those as spam and they disappear from the forum. What I’m talking about here is a different thing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082891 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:01:46 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, interesting that the #1 thing that sets my radar off doesn’t register on yours. If there is a link to any product, no matter if the person writes that they think this is the most fantastic thing ever or if they ask advice about it, then I look to see who they are. If it’s their first comment (or if they’ve mentioned the thing in comments on other people posts), I have never seen any info in a profile. I report those post-haste. I don’t comment, because I don’t want to bump it to the top, but it seems that Greg, or who ever makes the call, agrees with me because they vanish. I agree with you about the bots &amp; trolls being used against us, but I’ve always read this activity as mostly benign marketing by a person who didn’t take the time to read the rules of the places they posted their ad. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082880 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 15:28:02 +0000 Anonymous 2082880@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Intrigued &amp; interested to read the articles. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082876 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 15:21:04 +0000 Janet 2082876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I want to emphasize that simply not having a completed profile is not a red flag. I don’t often click on members’ profiles. However, when there is a spate of new posters all asking vague questions about something as basic as “business casual” with 1) no introduction and no context, 2) no participation on other members’ threads, 3) no participation on Angie’s blog posts, 4) no subsequent answers in their thread that explain their interest, and 5) weird spelling and grammatical errors, I get a strong whiff of troll. Any one of those things isolated are not necessarily cause for concerns but put it all together and yeah, I’m highly skeptical. </p> <p>As for what the goal may be, I don’t really know. But these days there is a LOT of noise being generated by troll farms and bots — some from Russia, some from other places. It’s not all political either. But it is designed to create distrust and disharmony. It looks like even in a space as seemingly safe as YLF, it can be effective. I know I’m speculating here, but it’s not as far-fetched as some may think. There are some very compelling reads out right now about how memes and other seemingly benign viral campaigns are being used against us. I’ll try to share some links when I’m at my computer later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082868 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 14:57:07 +0000 Anonymous 2082868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Been away for Thanksgiving and am now home. It never actually occurred to me that not filling out the profile would/could somehow be interpreted as shady. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082863 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 14:26:22 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2082863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kathie and Mollie Mac, thanks for updating your pix. Those randomly generated flowers have confused me many times! I’m simply not good at names; having a unique visual to attach to a person (a cutting board, a pet, whatever) makes it so much easier. I’m not good at faces either, but recognize most around here immediately. The red shoes, for me, can be just as helpful, particularly if they connect to something about the poster. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-updatemanage-your-ylf-profile/page/2#post-2082859 Sat, 07 Dec 2019 13:58:22 +0000 Kathie 2082859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Molly Mac- your hair looks great. Fabulous cut!</p> <p>Carla- I am having such a good time reading everyone’s updated profiles. Thanks for starting this thread! </p>