https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 04 May 2026 04:26:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-242345 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:27:53 +0000 Laura 242345@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Couldn't agree more that it's much more interesting and thought-provoking to stumble than to glide along perfectly with no glitches. This thread proves that, right?</p> <p>I wore the dress Friday night and felt fab. My girlfriend and I had a great time getting ready for the party together. We wore our ridiculous wigs and laughed at ourselves A LOT. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-242278 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 07:15:41 +0000 RoseandJoan 242278@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My word Laura, this will add the all important ...I'm human and not perfect element to your writing. When undertaking tasks such as these some people can become rather sanctimonious and it distances the writer from the reader. The turmoil and struggle of SYC is what will keep me reading.</p> <p>and how many times do you find a piece which is so perfectly you, you are willing to do anything to acquire it? That dress is special, please send no guilt in the direction of that precious dress. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-242032 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 22:12:19 +0000 judy 242032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is the point of an experiment to do it perfectly?…or to discover new things along the way? For SYC, you might discover that you can't do it! This would still be a worthy finding, wouldn't it? </p> <p>I've noticed that my mind gets excited about buying new things. Much more than merely owning nice things :). But with my shopping restrictions, I've only purchased two items of clothing since the end of July. (and one was with all the extra change that I rolled and cashed in). So I've had to do some new things, clothes-wise. One thing is that I've gone to some very expensive stores and looked at designer clothes. The fabrics feel amazing. It was like going to a museum! </p> <p>The ban has been helpful because I realized that I had developed a habit of spending a lot of time on shopping and clothes, to the exclusion of some other things. When really, there's lots of other things to do and experience, that I used to do before online shopping/browsing! To me, this was worth finding out. I don't feel like the two things I've bought were failures of the version of SYC that I've had to do for financial reasons.</p> <p>I'm so glad you kept that dress, Laura! It looks amazing on you. There's no failure, only experience. And experience can make for good writing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-241053 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 15:23:26 +0000 lynne 241053@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laura, after all that thought, introspection and valiant sharing you DESERVE that dress. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240963 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:07:24 +0000 Laura 240963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you my friend!</p> <p>You raise a good question -- while it would be a huge relief to be done, I've decided to pick myself up and keep going. </p> <p>The only thing that would make me end SYC is getting a job. In that case, I will need work clothes and it would be ridiculous to think I could shop my closet when I haven't worked in an office for 15 years. As long as I don't get a job, I am still in. And I hope everyone is still in with me! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240962 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:42:04 +0000 Kristen 240962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laura, I know you didn't want to "fail in front of the world", which is partly why I have been such a hard-case to you in keeping you on the path. But what you just wrote, and what you wrote in your blog, is exactly what I meant by digging deeper, and that's all I really wanted you to do. To me, the value of the SYC challenge isn't necessarily not buying anything for five months (which I totally agree, was much too long!) but examining the decisions that prompt making or not making a purchase. Buying something during SYC isn't failing if you learn or write something about it. There is still great value even when we "fail" -- that is something I have been trying to remind myself in terms of my weight fluctuations. I'm very glad that you are letting yourself see that; to me that is much more satisfying than secretly buying a bunch of dresses and wearing one to a party without saying anything, don't you think? </p> <p>That said, are you going to continue now with SYC through January? You still have deadlines to go! Or will you do more of a retrospective of the previous 3 months instead? I am curious! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240959 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 11:25:12 +0000 Laura 240959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you everyone for supporting me. It means a lot when you feel like you're totally failing in front of the world!</p> <p>If anyone else wants to do this in the future, I highly recommend 3 months. That's long enough to learn the lessons of SYC - saying "no" to items, diverting your energy into other projects, borrowing from friends, restyling what you own. </p> <p>All this is ironic since my editor hired me to write about SYC monthly Oct 1 - Jan 1. If I'd stuck to that I could have made it. Basically, we are at Nov. 1, the three-month mark. If this were the finish line, I would have worn my friend's dress tonight, ordered the MK dress on Nov. 1 and been done with it.</p> <p>Shopping my friend's closet was really interesting. It made me realize that I have too many clothes -- specifically, too many items in the same categories. In the last two months of SYC, my goal is to purge lesser-worn items in those categories (except for dresses because you can never have too many!) and wait to discover big wardrobe holes - like tall black heeled boots, which I had to borrow from her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240811 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 01:40:48 +0000 Reneeb 240811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so glad you are keeping the dress. Maya is right like is to short and the dress looks fantastic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240807 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 01:34:45 +0000 Angie 240807@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I one thousand percent support your decision, Laura. You and that MK sheath were love at first sight! Now go off and celebrate passionately </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240758 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 00:15:07 +0000 Jonesy 240758@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I support this decision! I agree that "everything in moderation" is a good motto, and you have really moderated your shopping/spending over these past many weeks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240751 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 23:52:32 +0000 Mo 240751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it was a long and well thought out decision. And isn't half of the purpose of SYC to keep you from impulse buying stuff you find you don't need or can't use? I understand setting limits or goals for yourself and wanting to attain them. I do this often with training/fitness. But no one is really keeping score. Even if we *put it all out there* online for the world to see/judge. I was supposed to run tonight. Well, it was just too damn hot and tomorrow will still be there. I can pick up my training plan then. For now I have pizza and cabernet and who will care 2 weeks from now? Not me! Enjoy your dress. It looks beautiful on you. And thank you for the SYC challenge - it's helping me tons! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240724 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 23:16:34 +0000 Laura 240724@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tara, you are the fantastic writer and thank you, you made me chuckle!</p> <p>I shopped my friend's closet today and she couldn't find the dress she wanted to loan me! She thinks she might have permanently left it at a dry cleaner Anyway I did borrow a dress, but I tried on the MK dress and my friend forbid me to return it. We were figuring out all sorts of ways to wear it, with turtleneck and blouses underneath. So that settles it! I am wearing the MK sheath tomorrow night, with a pair of boots borrowed from my friend.</p> <p>Tara makes a good point. Maybe I am a failure for not sticking to my self-imposed ban. But maybe not. What I learned is that anything that is too restrictive -- and SYC for five months is very restrictive, I should have gone for 3 and I would be a success right now! -- won't work for me. (This insight might help next time I diet!) And I learned that I love fashion and therefore need to be picky about what goes into my closet, because I want to rotate clothes out frequently. I also learned to say NO and avoid a lot of temptations over these 13 weeks (so far). It's still a long way to the finish line! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240539 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:41:54 +0000 tarzy 240539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OMG! I love this thread! The drama! Will she or won't she ... </p> <p>Everyone brings up so many great points. I'm sort of with Sarah and others. I don't really like diets or bans. I think they create an artificial environment that's very, very hard to really sustain. </p> <p>On the one hand, I agree that breaking the ban for Halloween might seem frivolous, but special occasions are what make life fun! If you were buying an Avatar costume, I might say no, you're not really going to get a lot of use out of that. But a fabulous LBD that fills a wardrobe gap? Sounds quite sensible to me. Do you need it? Do we need any clothes other than one pair of pants and one shirt that we can wash every night? What does "I have enough" mean? These are all great questions, but I don't think there is one, definitive answer. Life is fluid.</p> <p>If I say I'm not going to eat sugar or fat, and then I find myself in Paris (um, it could happen!), you can bet I'm going to eat every single fabulous thing I can find. Live! Enjoy! Who knows when I'll be back in Paris? </p> <p>Yes, it might seem like a justification. Yes, there might be "ego" involved in wanting to look cute at a party. So what? Who cares? Are we nuns? (Not that there's anything wrong with nuns!) Yes, I'm sure you have something in your closet that you can wear, or something that you can borrow. If you truly can't afford to spend the money, that's another story. Are you a failure if you don't stick with your self-imposed ban? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you'll have learned something else more important? </p> <p>You must do what feels right for you. This is the hard part about being a fantastic writer with a killer blog. You put it all out there for everyone to see, and everyone will have their own opinion. I say life is too short! Sorry - I know I'm no help. Whatever choice you make is the right choice for this moment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240490 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:41:19 +0000 lynne 240490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm reversing my previous opinion - sort of. If the dress really does fill a gaping wardrobe hole, and you will get lots of wear out of it, keep it. Just don't wear it to the Halloween party. That way it will be the I Broke SYC For A Good Reason dress rather than the I Broke SYC For a Costume dress. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240137 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 01:36:37 +0000 Kristen 240137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are no rules against shopping from other's closets! I think it's a great way to expand your wardrobe, even temporarily. If we were closer in size I would open up my smallest sizes to you; I loaned a bunch to Shopping Friend recently! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240111 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 00:25:55 +0000 Laura 240111@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*warm fuzzies*</p> <p>There is nothing like a boost from Angie, is there?</p> <p>What I've decided is that tomorrow I will go and shop my girlfriend's closet. She has made me swear not to comment on the condition of her closet in exchange for a dress. That seems like a more-than-fair deal. And if nothing works - well, ladies, desperate times call for desperate measures! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-240097 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:34:24 +0000 Angie 240097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have only just caught up on this thread. Sorry that it took a while, Laura.</p> <p>Okay, so FWIW: </p> <p>o I really want you to have the MK dress. It actually *does* fill a wardrobe hole.<br /> o Good fitting sheaths are hard to find - this one scores an 11 out of 10.<br /> o You should feel extra fab tomorrow because it’s a special occasion – life is too short my dear.<br /> o AND, you are our Dress Queen. You have a royal reputation to live up to :)</p> <p>You have done so,so,so well, Laura – going above and beyond for the SYC challenge. I see no reason why you shouldn't buy this frock. I'm high fiving Sarah and Taylor! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239973 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:41:10 +0000 Laura 239973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nice try, Celia I appreciate the thought!</p> <p>My id and ego are still battling it out on each shoulder, Julie. Good visual.</p> <p>I feel lucky to have a girlfriend with killer taste in clothing who is the same size. We're getting together in her closet tomorrow and we will see what the result is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239963 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:30:28 +0000 celia 239963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here I am as promised on your blog.<br /> Please don't do it for your own good. I know you have such a great excuse to buy something new but in the long term you will be much happier if you can say that you started this SYC and finished it without falling into temptation.It's all about the experience in itself.<br /> And if I can appeal to emotional blackmail I just started this SYC and if I see you doing that , you that have been like a role model to me , I will personally feel defeated. (does this line work ?) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239962 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:29:49 +0000 Marley 239962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm in no position to give you any advice on this - but I think a Halloween party where you are going to be wearing an ORANGE wig is kind of a silly reason to break your SYC oath! Whatever you decide, I'm very touched by your honesty and your willingness to share your insights into the entire process. Thank you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239935 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:58:19 +0000 Emily 239935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Kristen...don't do it. You'll be glad in the end I think. And it will make for a great (albeit painful) article for you to write. Whereas, if you buy it, you'll have to write about how you broke SYC for a Halloween party. Good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239928 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:48:22 +0000 RoseandJoan 239928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The Michael Kors dress is fabulous but I do not think it fills a wardrobe hole, you do not need a Little Black Dress if you have a Little Grey Dress, Little Blue Dress, Killer Little Purple Dress bladi, bladi, blah....What you do have is a very convenient excuse to buy something you have probably wanted for a while. I do get the battle between your id and ego, I can picture the little devil and angel sat prettily on your shoulders but you do not need this dress. In fact the wig, which I picture to be the perfect shade of orangutan, would probably cover up the best part of the dress, yes? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239921 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:34:36 +0000 Lorem Ipsum 239921@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope getting that orange wig didn't break any SYC rules. If it does, the zippered dress is a much better reason; however, I wouldn't break the shopping ban for a Halloween costume. It sounds like you have alternatives you can explore before you give in to your desire to have a LBD. I agree that this is the perfect opportunity to explore your reasons for wanting to break your shopping ban. It will make a great post. Good luck with your decision. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239915 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:18:12 +0000 chellebrate 239915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! I'm so not a good friend, because I'm all over you buying the zippered sheath. You look so good in it! But reading your "good" friends' responses, they make great points. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239912 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:14:06 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 239912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just chiming in again...I do love the zipper dress (as I mentioned earlier), but I wonder how versatile it is if it will be your only LBD? It's pretty distinctive. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do/page/2#post-239910 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:59:08 +0000 Sarah 239910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And this is why I don't do bans. I am ALL about shopping and buying *less*, but if you indeed have a wardrobe hole, especially one as large as this, I don't understand why you can't get it. I can see not buying more jeans, boots, shoes, jackets until you wear them all, etc. But this is different to me.<br /> It all goes back to your personal reasons for doing SYC, though.<br /> I for one could not imagine doing SYC through the entire fall season. That is just too long a time to go without.<br /> Whatever you decide, we'll back you. You've been doing so well with wearing what you have for so long, and it's not like you're binge shopping here.<br /> FWIW, I love the zipper dress best. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do#post-239908 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:50:32 +0000 Auburn 239908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Let me just say that, whatever the causal factors at play may be, I completely relate. I frequently use events (a party, a fundraiser, a wedding, even vacation) as an excuse to buy something new. It feels ever-so-slightly less indulgent at the time because I'm buying "for a reason" rather than just to add to my closet. And yet, having done this so much, there's no real reason to continue doing so, rather than just going back and re-wearing something, or borrowing something or putting a new outfit together using older pieces. I just love the idea of wearing some new and cute to a formal event, even if the dress code itself isn't formal at all. Perhaps this is because our work days and weekends are routine-filled and don't allow sufficient outlet for creative expression? Perhaps because we know we'll get recognition at the event that we don't get at our office or homes? I agree, meaty issue here and not one I'm able to unpack skillfully. </p> <p>As to your specific quandaray, while I agree that an LBD is an absolute MUST, I think you'll be just as happy owning in January, particularly now that you've vetted the issue publicly and have a nearly unanimous response (with Kristen leading the charge)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do#post-239902 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:36:42 +0000 Michelle 239902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>NOOOO!! Be strong and send it back! You've identified a key wardrobe hole, and in January when your ban is lifted, you'll have extra resources to devote to filling it. You'll be able to find the absolute perfect option with time on your side and pressure off your shoulders!<br /> Have a great time at the party, though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do#post-239888 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:21:41 +0000 LoP 239888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK. I know I'll regret later that I'm writing this right now since I would not like to be the one to make you break your challenge. Just buy that zipper dress! You look gorgeous in it and you don't have an LBD. When does your challenge end? You can add a few more weeks to it to make up for the dress. Does that make sense? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/please-tell-me-what-do-i-do#post-239821 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:00:46 +0000 Lisa 239821@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Convince a same size friend to buy the dress and then let you borrow it. </p>