YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Ouch. A candid sideview

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Ouch. A candid sideview https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 24 Apr 2026 01:07:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Helena on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802480 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 20:16:07 +0000 Helena 1802480@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry you were feeling that way, but as everyone says - all I see in this photo is a super-fit athletic looking woman! <3 anne on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802376 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:47:27 +0000 anne 1802376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to make such thoughtful replies. I hope none of you felt I was ignoring you in taking a while - on the contrary I needed time to think through what you said - and then I needed a time when I can be uninterrupted to write it  - a time which also coincided with a keyboard being available to type on as I'm not great with phone typing. So that's finally happening. Firstly, I have amended the original post a little by adding this For anyone coming on to this thread at a later stage I was having a bad day and saw my body in this pic in a way on that day that may have not really accorded with reality. There are lots of wise responses below about this. I was to emphasise that I am a healthy weight, and that I'm often much happier about how I look. Even when I wrote it though, I meant that my arms/thighs were big proportionally, and my bust is small proportionally. These are dressing challenges that I face, and that was what I was looking for help with. Thanks Sterling Rachylou and Jane - yes I have been wearing jeans, long pants and opaque tights to cover it up. I was able to cycle to and from work today (for the last time for awhile as the days are getting sorter here) but haven't tried running yet.  The fall split my big toenail, which I'm worried may hurt. I'm not sure how long after the op I'll be able to run again. Jaileen and Thirkellgirl- I already do to some extent - just by looking at pictures of me 20 years ago!  (I've been married almost 20 years) I'm sure the same applies to later on. Manny - thanks. I was pleased that I made it there in the knick of time K.M.- thanks for the empathy. I really appreciate it.You know something else - I didn't recognise your name and went to check out your profile and discovered I'd blocked you. Which must have been an accidental mouse bump because I don't like blocking people. So now you are unblocked and I saw that lovely picture of you with those gorgeous sailor pants, and won't miss out on your posts! I also checked my profile, discovered there was a list of "blocked" people and unblocked someone else who I had no intention of missing. annagybe thanks for your gracious response. I have been thinking a great deal about what you said about what we say about ourselves affecting others and I'm even more sorry than when I wrote it. I would never talk the way I wrote to my daughters, or the young women I see regularly - and yet I subjected YLF to it. Sometimes I think I use you guys here to sound off about things I prevent myself saying in other parts of my life, and it is selfish of me. My addition to the original post was an attempt to make improve matters a bit, should it be read by vulnerable readers. Vix- oh yes I know what you mean. Skins etc? Thanks for the tips on looking at resale shops. Jules - thanks for that very encouraging reply. Given what I have said above, your perception that I am a "positive poster" (usually) was appreciated greatly. Thanks Becky - and wow - haven't seen you for ages here. Great to see you and glad I encouraged you. I seem to remember we had some of the same dressing challenges. :-) Beth Ann  oh to sure I had no idea anyone was taking a picture at all. Actually one positive result of that was that I quite like how I'm smiling. I find it harder to smile for a posed picture! (on my wedding day my photographer asked me if I could change how I smile and I was self conscious for all the photos on that day. The best pictures of me were candid ones by friends.) And you are so right about comparison - something I'm prone to. Parkrun has a huge range of sizes, ages, and speeds (lots of walkers too) - but I only tend to compare myself to people who are thinner, faster or bustier.. - much better, as you say, to see ourselves with kindness. Janet - so true - and me too KL - I hope you found your thought processes encouraging.Thanks for sharing. Keix on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802070 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 16:22:00 +0000 Keix 1802070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just wanted to chime in and say, as someone who is still in her twenties and wears a size 0/2 (i.e. young and slim by societal standards), I have had the SAME criticisms of my own body since I was 16. Flat bust, big thighs, visible tummy--and I don't even have pregnancy to explain it--yet when I looked at your photo, the first thing I thought was what everyone else did, that you looked SO fit. Whereas if it were a photo of myself, I'm sure my eye would pick out every tiny flaw first. Thirkellgirl on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802041 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:15:07 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1802041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh my word. One day you will look back at this and regret that you didn't think you looked as amazing as you do. Janet on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802040 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:14:41 +0000 Janet 1802040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth Ann, your first paragraph is so true. I've actually thought a photo was awful when I first saw it, only to take a look later on and see something different. Much like the way I can feel awful and fat one day, and just fine a couple of days later, even though clearly my weight/size could not have changed significantly in mere hours. Our mental states have a huge influence on how we see ourselves.  Beth Ann on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1802026 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:31:15 +0000 Beth Ann 1802026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Photos tell one truth, Mirrors tell another, but neither tell the whole truth.  They capture one moment in one way. Add to this the notion that how we see ourselves is affected by our mood and self confidence.  Add to this the crippling effect of the omnipresent messages through a social media culture that profits (literally) when we consume images that convince us we're not enough. We start always comparing ourselves (the slim german girl), rather than seeing ourselves with kindness. What I see is a fit and healthy woman in a candid photo.  You're not posed as if you're aware of the camera at all, which is refreshing.  Scroll through any popular Instagrammer's feed and you'll see a succession of careful poses.  Then watch teenagers take selfies outside of school and you'll see 10 year olds doing the same thing.   I'm so impressed that you are making time to get out there and challenge yourself physically at a busy time of life!  Feel the wind in your hair, listen to the birds, chat with new friends, and feel free! Becky on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801769 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 20:04:47 +0000 Becky 1801769@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anne, you look great. Your worries are actually encouraging to me, as they make me realize that while I may be critical of myself, others probably don't see the things I'm self-conscious about. Kudos to you for getting there and staying active! Jules on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801708 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 17:02:54 +0000 Jules 1801708@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Anne, I was also really glad that the comments changed your perspective - for your sake - you do really look healthy and fit in that photo! I understand what annagybe said as well, because I have felt that way after some other posts I've seen on this forum. But I think of you as a very positive poster and coming back to acknowledge everyone was very nicely done Vix on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801682 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 15:03:37 +0000 Vix 1801682@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi again Anne -- By performance compression wear I just meant the stuff the exercise brands sell (vs spanx etc). You may wear it when it's cool enough for running tights/leggings, if you run in tights? Supposed to be good for muscles, definitely good for a bit of support. Generally available in light to strong levels. There may be shorts with a bit of a lycra inner liner, not sure. It'll be a love/hate whether you like it or not.... savings tip: check your resale shops for exercise wear...lots in EUC (or with tags-on) around my way annagybe on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801675 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 14:46:07 +0000 annagybe 1801675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm glad you responded and acknowledged how you said it. Because honestly it felt like you have some body image issues. I understand everyone has their own battles. But also you should realize what you say about yourself also affects others, and they may feel about their body. K.M. on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801665 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 14:16:18 +0000 K.M. 1801665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ anne, just wanted to say thank you for sharing this moment and this post. I know I have felt the same way many times. It helps immensely to talk about it and sometimes just simply share. I get by with a little help from my friends... With all the negative messages from social media and mainstream media, it's nice to get some positive messages for a change. Maneera on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801648 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 13:19:39 +0000 Maneera 1801648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Seriously...are we looking at the same photo???!! You look really good Anne! Fit, healthy, slim, toned, and quite frankly......a rather gorgeous mommy! Celebrate the fact that you GOT out to exercise despite waking up few minutes earlier and that you accomplished your workout goals. I like your gear....can't see what's wrong with it. And I wish I looked half as good as you in candid post-workout photos! JAileen on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801646 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 13:11:57 +0000 JAileen 1801646@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you look great, Anne. In 20 years, you'll appreciate what I mean. Anonymous on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801632 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 11:31:37 +0000 Anonymous 1801632@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Came late to this thread.  Nonetheless, I am glad I found it.  You look absolutely fabulous.  Fit.  Strong.  Capable.  Fun.  Emphasis on the fun.  Jane on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801610 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 06:51:31 +0000 Jane 1801610@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Horrid bruise. Well done for getting up and out. You look good to my eye, I hope the op goes to plan and you are back running again soon. rachylou on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801609 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 06:45:58 +0000 rachylou 1801609@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Re bruise - Ack! Re mummy tummy - that's clothing, not tummy! And you look real cute in it. The fit and proportions are good. You're very toned. anne on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview/page/2#post-1801607 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 06:35:26 +0000 anne 1801607@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ PS. Gratuitous bruise pic! anne on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801600 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 04:40:56 +0000 anne 1801600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, thanks everyone. You have been so encouraging and I'm sorry  for sharing my bad moment with you. Your kind words have been changing my reaction to the photo and it now doesn't seem nearly as depressing as it did when I posted it. Sharan, Gigi, Staysfit, RobinF, CindySmith, Approprio, Janet, Kkards, Aquarmarine, Summer. Isobel thankyou, Smittie - really? - I thought you looked way slimmer than me! Joyce B you are right Jenni NZ -thanks. Hopefully my exercise does make an impact, though it is probably mostly heredity, and possibly being celiac (only diagnosed 3 years ago) and not liking most chips or drinking much alcohol My diet could be better in other ways though.  I guess when I go through menopause I'll see what happens in the bust area - but both mum and aunty stayed pretty flat (and relatively slim). Even with breastfeeding I didn't get very big. And now I'm pretty much flat down to the nipples (not so evident thanks to bras in most of my WIWs!) I didn't really want to say that I was big - it was clumsily expressed. I think I was influenced by all the body type posts that have been around on the forum recently. - I just felt that a bigger bust would balance out the other parts of me. Fit wise it might help too - as I have the issue of things fitting either the shoulder/arms or the bust, but no both at once! Sal - for sure it is a mental health boost KM - thanks - and yes pregnancy does change things. I have some back fat that has never budged from my first one, Not the shoe size thing though! Bijou "It is OK to not be perfect and the more that we accept ourselves, it makes it easier for others to do the same." Wise words and also made me think that I  hope the responses here are making it easier for others, and mitigating any difficulties I may have created for any readers (for which I'm sorry) Andrea H Thanks for sharing your scrubs diaper moment with me :-) Thanks for such a lovely detailed response Krish - and I'd want to be friends with you too (and I'm in awe of that workout you showed us a while ago) Tisa - You are right posture does make a difference. I need to work on mine. I'm afraid this pic was from before the run though - I was all red and sweaty afterwards! Lisap I appreciate your empathy. And yes I'm in a privileged position being able to run - and I've already had time off from it with injury etc to make me appreciate that. And yesterday I fell off my bike and have some quite big bruises on my leg, plus I'm having surgery on my foot next week, so I might not be able to do it again for awhile Vix  you always have such great practical advice. I like your ideas about  "So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help. So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help." What do you advise about performance compression wear? I did run most of the 5km, thought I walked a bit. Still getting over a cold. I do have a running skort and it does look better, but I couldn't find it in my rush! I need to buy a shorter more fitted top to wear with it too, and not just for figure flattery reasons - but because I think loose tops are getting in my way when I exercise (not when running, but other things) Thanks so much everyone! Anonymous on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801483 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 18:08:42 +0000 Anonymous 1801483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh Anne, you look so cute! I think your smaller bustline is young and girlish looking and I wish I had your little feet and flat stomach! It's hard to see the whole package when you dial in on certain things but you look adorable! Vix on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801477 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 18:00:26 +0000 Vix 1801477@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Anne -- Hey, even in a less-than-ideal candid pose you look very fit and are walking (running?) the walk in terms of exercise! I know you know that camera angles/lighting/body position can make or break a photo. *I* know it, but admit it gets to me.  In terms of exercise wear, I am VERY boring, usually, since I hate to spend money on it...but employ the same tips/tricks as with dressing. So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help. Also I think I remember you wear running skorts? I don't run unless something's chasing me or I'm chasing something, but I do prefer skorts to shorts for flattery. Summer on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801465 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 17:32:59 +0000 Summer 1801465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Echoing Suz and others: you look fit and healthy, suitably dressed, and with none of the body issues that you mention.  Good for you for getting to park run and keeping yourself fit. Anonymous on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801436 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 15:22:45 +0000 Anonymous 1801436@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'll add my voice to the chorus . I'm my own worst critic too , and I understand the feelings you experience looking at a photo you don't like . But hey - you can run still , which is not a given as we age , and I think you look like every other fit and slim runner out there . i only wish I looked that tiny in my workout gear ;). Aquamarine on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801428 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 14:47:32 +0000 Aquamarine 1801428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We never see ourselves like others see us. I've always thought you were a slim, athletic mother to three kids, here to work on her fashion groove like the rest of us. Period. Tisa on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801427 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 14:37:53 +0000 Tisa 1801427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I really don't see a problem with you body, Anne. You look strong and toned, fit and healthy.  There's not just one beautiful body type. Body beauty isn't defined only in measurements, but also in what a body can do. I have a friend who's a ballet teacher. She has strong thighs, she's not tall. She doesn't have the stereotypical ballerina body measurements. But when she moves, she's so graceful and skilled that there's no doubt in anyone's mind that her body is amazing and perfect. Even when she's just standing still, she owns her body, and that's really beautiful to see. In your photo I see a cool woman with a fit body, who just had a good time at a fun event. If you really want to nitpick and change something about your body, then straighten your back, pull your head up, pull your shoulders apart and open your chest.  There's no reason not to show your body off a bit. After all it allows you to do so many things, it just completed a parkrun! A good reason to be proud of it, don't you think? But all in all that is a very minor thing, since everyone understands being tired after a run and therefore slouching a bit . I hope you had a nice time at the event!  kkards on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801421 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 14:07:24 +0000 kkards 1801421@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OMG...here's what i see....a wonder women who is setting a fabuolous example for her children. one who works to provide food and shelter and puts time and effort into her health and welfare.  Janet on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801419 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 13:55:56 +0000 Janet 1801419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anne, to quote Angie, what are you smoking?? You look amazing. I can tell your arm is pressed against your side, which will always make arms look bigger, but the picture shows you are perfectly fine and fit as you are. There is a reason I don't share candid shots of me in my running gear -- it does favors to no one but fitness models. approprio on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801412 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 13:30:16 +0000 approprio 1801412@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I concur - you look amazing! Fit and fab. Nothing to worry about. I wish I looked that good in my running gear cindysmith on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801410 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 13:27:26 +0000 cindysmith 1801410@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look great, fit and healthy and beautiful krishnidoux on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801399 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 12:45:51 +0000 krishnidoux 1801399@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OMG you look so good to me!  Arms: fit, healthy, lovely, with nice definition. And also in a bent position, which will cause any normal arm to pump up a bit, which is why bodybuilders bend their arms to show off.  Thighs: so fit! So toned! The thighs of a runner. Some people workout like mad to get lovely, strong legs like yours.  Mummy tummy and bust: what mummy tummy? You mean you are a mom! You are in great shape. I don't see the tummy you mention, but you might mean your stance: it's because you are hunching slightly. Despite this being a good shot of you, one can't evaluate your body shape solely from this pic.   I see waist definition, I see a lovely neckline, shoulders, and a proportionate, trim, strong, slim body of someone who is active, who is out there, and who could wear LOTS of styles successfully.  I see fun, comfortable, sensible workout clothes. If I met a girl like this in a marathon or an event, I'd certainly want to become her friend because she looks like she's got it, like she's fun and she likes to do things RobinF on "Ouch. A candid sideview" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ouch-a-candid-sideview#post-1801394 Sun, 23 Apr 2017 12:19:57 +0000 RobinF 1801394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you look great! Good for you for getting out there and running!