https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 13:00:33 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480157 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:25:32 +0000 Sara L. 480157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a fascinating conversation! I had wondered about some of these questions but it never occurred to me to ask about them. I read far more posts than I actually comment on. I'm not a shopper (and there's no Nordstroms in my state) so while I'm curious where people bought stuff and what they're looking for, I can't really respond to their posts. Also, I enjoy viewing WIW posts but if there's already 25 responses and I don't have anything original to add, I don't comment. I always assume there are others like me who don't have time to comment on every post, even though I read quite a few of them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480145 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:01:44 +0000 Queen Mum 480145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Regarding *my* comment about not always wanting to bump a thread back to the front page. I'm not suggesting that this is "hogging" at all. And I don't find it rude. Usually I just feel that my thread has had plenty of time on the front page, I've gotten the feedback I'm looking for, and so I don't necessarily want to bump it back up for another day or so. Honestly, often it's a K/R post that I realize later I should have known the answer myself, so quietly let it die so I can regain my dignity... LOL</p> <p>I am amazed at those who faithfully acknowledge each comment by name, and specific words of thanks. When I try to do this, I feel that I'm just droning the same words out over and over... I guess I don't have the gift of words So, while I have read every comment and *try* my hardest to remember to click the appreciation buttons, I usually offer a blanket, "thanks for the input" unless someone has asked a specific question or given a specific unique compliment (like specifically complimenting my hair, shoes, whatever...) if that makes sense....</p> <p>Everyone has a different approach to how they handle theirs and others threads, and nobody's method is anymore right than anyone else's. Comment on those you want to, and ignore those you wish to ignore. It's all good. Bump if you want, let it die if that is your preference. Variety is the spice of life! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480074 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:51:02 +0000 Astrid 480074@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fruitful, I guess I'm guilty of not adding descriptive titles all the time. I'll try to change that! </p> <p>I always try to respond to conversations I started in a timely manner, but I'm not always successful. I don't have a problem with bumping threads to the first page and thank people later on, I think this is just the way the forum works. And I agree with Kate, I assume many people read way more than they comment. It's the same for me! I try to keep up to date, but I don't have the time to comment on everything, especially because English is my 2nd language and I have to look many words up when I write a longer post and not just a short comment on an outfit post. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480066 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:08:03 +0000 JulieinMI 480066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess I never really thought about this before. I know I have asked for advice, and many of you have taken your time to give it to me. I have never given advice , and I'm not sure that I will as I don't have a lot of confidence in that advice! However, I certainly can find other ways to participate such as complimenting all of you on your fab outfits, and I am going to make an effort to do that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480045 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 09:06:05 +0000 anne 480045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I second what Kate said (esp about which threads she chooses to look at) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-480044 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 08:51:39 +0000 HeleenH 480044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I sometimes do feel like I shouldn't be posting WIW or questions because I haven't been very active at the time. Sometimes I have time to read YLF, sometimes I don't. I might only have time to read the blogs on some weeks, other weeks I have time to read loads of posts. Wether I reply to posts depends on a) did I have time to read the posts in the first place b) do I feel I have someting to contribute and c) do I feel confident I am using the right language - English is a 2nd language and at times I feel I don't have enough vocabulary to say things in a kind and thoughtful way. Especially when I have the feeling that this particular clothes or this specific combination is not my favourite for someone. But I do try to invest in other peoples threads when I have time to post my own outfits or questions.<br /> So thank you for asking, from the answer I think I am doing all right </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-479942 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 03:06:34 +0000 Kate 479942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fruitful, I completely agree about the titles. On a similar note, I'm more likely to read threads that make it clear that they're asking for advice, and skip ones that are simple WIW and the date.</p> <p>I also assume that there is a lot more reading happening than posting. I can spend a good half hour pouring over threads and not post anything because I don't have anything new to add. And other times I spend a half hour writing a book of a post. And some days I can't find the time to come on YLF at all. It's a natural ebb and flow, and as long as someone posts on occasion I assume that they're reading a lot more than what they're commenting on, and thus are still participating in the community even if they don't post. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-479764 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:35:43 +0000 Fruitful 479764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RoseandJoan, this has been a fascinating discussion. </p> <p>I think we as women are a bit too worried about pulling our weight or taking up too much space.</p> <p>I'm a little concerned that people are worried about boardhogging? If people didn't post, there wouldn't be a board! Post away!</p> <p>If a post gets bumped down so it's not seen, there's nothing wrong with bumping it up! Sometimes I do this for myself, sometimes for other people.</p> <p>I don't care if you bump your post just through thanking people. It is a forum, it will get bumped down again :)</p> <p>Secondhand, we'd love to see you post but I have never gone through your profile to realise you don't do the "heavy lifting"! Don't feel guilty. Just post if you'd like to. </p> <p>I love that there are frequent posters like AlaskaGirl, my only frustration is I'm not able to participate in the conversations as much as I'd like!</p> <p>There is only one forum etiquette thing I would like to see addressed on this forum. It is PLEASE USE DESCRIPTIVE SUBJECT TITLES. Sorry for shouting. If I see a forum thread with a title like "Help!" or "I've lost my mind" or "what was i thinking" it tells me nothing at all, nothing at. all. about whether it will be a reasonable use of my time to click on the thread and read it.</p> <p>I usually don't open these threads unless I notice nobody is replying to them, then I feel sorry for them. If they're by a member I "know" and like, I may indulge them :). But overall, if I click a "help" and it asks where to buy X when they live nowhere near me, etc etc insert any topic I know nothing about, I have wasted time, when forum time is limited enough as it is. So I don't.</p> <p>The irony is, I think these vague titles are the result of female politeness striking once again. People might feel it's rude to state upfront what they're going to talk about. Please understand, it's (unintentionally) rude not to. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-479746 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:13:27 +0000 Secondhand Shopaholic 479746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been a very interesting and informative post for me to read. I am always humbled by how many responses I get from my posts, being that I don't participate in other conversations much. </p> <p>I'm a bit ashamed, really. You all have been so fabulous to me, and for me, and I see so many awesome outfits and beautiful women, that I really should reach out to them (you) and let you know how impressed I am with your style, instead of just thinking it. My excuse is that I don't feel I can offer advice in fashion, but that's just an excuse. </p> <p>Your comments have so positively affected me, and I don't know why I haven't felt the need, until now, to give back. It is in my nature in my personal life to make others feel good about themselves, but for some reason I haven't shared that with you all. I have just been a taker. </p> <p>Thanks again for this conversation, you really have given me pause. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-479702 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:22:05 +0000 citygirldc 479702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great topic. I love YLF but because of time restraints due to work, I usually post outfits in the evening. Occasionlly I'll pop in during the day if I'm not busy and will reply to posts if I have time. I don't consider myself to be a professional fashionista by any means but if someone posts a beautiful outfit and it looks fabulous on them, I will say something. Otherwise, I tend to keep mum unless they were asking for advice on how to wear an item. (I'd like to think that people have their own ideas of fashion and what I fancy might not be someone elses cup of tea.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478804 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:54:18 +0000 morethanbeige 478804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do love this place. I echo some of the comments made. I was wondering about this too. Great topic, RandJ. I love that this is an inclusive place and that there are no *rules* about this sort of thing. I know that I too am able to spend more and less time, depending on my schedule. Sometimes I don't comment on others' posts because I am not confident in my knowledge and don't want to give inappropriate feedback. And I really enjoy that people can pop in and out based on their availability. It seems like the other *ill-willed* stuff is weeded out, but maybe I just haven't been much exposed... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478794 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:47:05 +0000 Patty 478794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gosh--I don't think I'm that deep when it comes to posters--you answer when and if you can---what ever your time or style is--no sweat. I NEVER even thought of most of what is listed here!!<br /> I reply when I can, if I have the words, if it's not a blatant repeat of others (I wish I had different words/ terms to use) and if I thought I was making sense ( I have deleted tons of stuff coz of this) and for fear of misunderstanding and making a dumb reply.<br /> Personally--I usually post fluff and feel like I've poisoned myself for replies and am backing down again but I love reading and seeing peoples efforts and evolutions. I do feel like I am educating my eye. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478783 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:30:43 +0000 Refugee 478783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Being someone who is a several times a day lurker, a comment when I can, hardly ever poster I wanted to throw in my $0.02 worth on this. Like lots of you I wish I could spend more time here and contribute more. I have a different perspective in that I feel I should post more. I feel that those of you who do post are doing all of the 'heavy lifting' on the forum. The time it takes to set up photos, take them, get them to the computer from the camera just so I can admire and learn from you guys is admirable. By simply commenting and not posting and asking for your input, I feel that i am doing a lot more taking than giving. Also, by not having the time to post photos, etc I worry that people might wonder 'well who does she think she is? Offering all her comments but never letting us see what .she is wearing or asking for our input.' Maybe I'm just weird with this point of view. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478751 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:55:44 +0000 RoseandJoan 478751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am astounded by the responses to this thread, thank you so much for your considered thoughts and yes I am now fully aware of<br /> a) how it has taken me 24hrs to get back to a thread that posted<br /> b) I am now shamelessly bumping the thread to the front page in order to thank you all properly.</p> <p>I guess I will try and moderate my urge to post conversations Every. Time. I. Stop. By. and also be considerate of why other members are unable to respond.</p> <p>Bionda, I do agree with Angie, part timers and one time posters do enrich the diversity of the community, Pease post away.</p> <p>Love this place</p> <p>*air kiss* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478349 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:52:02 +0000 banananutmuffin 478349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm a newbie here, so just thought I'd chime in to say that I sometimes don't comment on others posts simply because I have no confidence in my ability to determine what is stylish or not. I mean... I know what I *think* looks good. But I am pretty much a mess with my own style, so what I like may or may not be what actually is stylish.</p> <p>Did that babble make sense? ;)</p> <p>That said, I am more likely to comment in other types of threads (i.e. When do you iron?) simply because I'm more comfortable in that area. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478277 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 08:15:45 +0000 anne 478277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Julie you are the last person who should be worrying about this. You have always been so selfless, warm and helpful on this forum. You have always told us the reasons when you had to have a break, and excellent ones they were too! we cherish even the small chances that you have to write in to us</p> <p>As for my own feelings, I feel like a post and run girl too, and try to balance any frenzy of my own posts with a lot of time inbetween. I don't read every post by any means these days (I did when the forum began) and spend way too much time THINKING about the posts instead of actually writing down my response. In fact I have decided to try to respond to posts straight away instead of reading them all and thinking I'll come back later to respond. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478231 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:50:11 +0000 AJ 478231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well I'm guilty of not being on here as much as I used to be. I may have had some posts here and there that I just completely forgot to press the appreciation buttons. I always appreciate any comments I get and I try to comment on others when I have time. I have to admit that lately I've lurked more than I have been commenting. As others have said, real life comes first. </p> <p>I adore this community and I'm glad that there always seems to be an influx of active commenters at any given time. I'm constantly learning from all you fabulous fashionistas whether I'm lurking or actively participating. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478221 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:31:13 +0000 CocoLion 478221@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I respond on my threads to people individually when I can because I like to acknowledge them and comment on their thoughts. That's conversation, no? It actually never occurred to me that this could be considered hogging the front page by bumping. It doesn't seem inconsiderate to me. I used to respond with group thank yous, maybe that is better etiquette? But I noticed some members like Kari and Aida who would leave thoughtful acknowledgements and thought it was really nice. My $0.02 on that point.</p> <p>And I have no problem with post and run. Even if someone hasn't participated much (I'm not talking about you RandJ) and has initiated more conversations and commented on others' threads less or not at all, I tend to think, maybe that person doesn't feel confident enough to comment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478216 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:15:44 +0000 Lantana 478216@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The time difference is an issue for me. I think I might be the most westerly forum member. Yesterday I posted, got a couple of responses and wrote my thankyous, thinking the conversation was finished.<br /> Now I see I have more responses and I'm caught in that whole" I don't want to bump a new post off first page" scenario.<br /> And I really wanted, today, to methodically work through each new post, meaning I won't get to mine until heaven knows when.<br /> So I think it's best if I quickly say my new thankyous to my old post and then bump myself down the page. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run/page/2#post-478207 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:55:49 +0000 Sylvie 478207@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My thoughts are going to echo a lot of other people's:</p> <p>If someone only posts their own threads but never responds to other people's I'm less likely to respond in theirs.</p> <p>If someone typically responds to my threads, I'm more likely to seek out and respond to threads by that person.</p> <p>I try to thank people who respond to my threads/push the appropriate appreciation buttons. I'm usually the last poster on threads I start. If someone posts after the thread chatter has mostly died down, I tend to just use the buttons and not post due to the fear of bumping the thread.</p> <p>I agree that so long as you're making an effort to give back and maintain some sort of give/take ratio, then that's what matters.</p> <p>In online life, as in real life, people are going to judge you by your behavior. If you're a veteran and have given a lot of advice in the past and suddenly have a flurry of threads, people are going to be gracious. If you were always asking for help and never tried to help others, even after being a member for several months, people will take that into account. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478134 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:42:12 +0000 Anonymous 478134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great thread Julie! Too bad it's not on the front page where everyone can see it! It took me a while to figure out that not every post starts on the front page. In fact, I just learned about the bumping thing...I hope I haven't been guilty of doing something wrong, yikes! </p> <p>Anyway, you are a legend around here and I hope you pop on whenever you can. We won't have any expectations of you or anyone else who has a life (other than YLF). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478085 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:09:09 +0000 Suz 478085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a really interesting and valuable question, Julie, and I'm glad you asked. It's got us all thinking and talking about our expectations, which is a really good thing in a lively community like this! Since joining I have been so impressed by the community spirit here; I think that most veteran members try their very best to balance their giving and taking, and by doing so, model that approach to newcomers, thus keeping the friendly and collaborative spirit alive. But from my perspective it is also perfectly all right to dip in now and again; we all have full lives and sometimes, addictive as it is, the forum needs to take a backseat to other priorities! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478081 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:05:52 +0000 Queen Mum 478081@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isis- that makes perfect sense to me. That is my MO at times. If my post has gone to the second page, I feel funny bumping it back to page one just to say "thanks" so usually I don't. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478077 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:00:39 +0000 Isis 478077@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am guilty of not responding to everyone, but there is a reason behind my madness!</p> <p>If it takes awhile for me to get back and look at the responses, I don't respond unless I've been asked a question, or I have something specific to say. </p> <p>The reason is that when I return, my post is usually on page 2 or 3, and if I respond, my post goes to pg 1. This pushes someone else's post further down, and I don't want to "hog" the front page. </p> <p>I do appreciate each and every response! I always click the "appreciate" buttons to show the person that I have read their post! I hope I have not inadvertently offended someone!!!! I have gotten great advice here!!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478070 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:54:22 +0000 Sveta 478070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lately I feel guilty too because I don't spend as much time as earlier on the forum. I am trying to respond to several threads every day but it is so hard to get my hubby away from the computer at night!<br /> Another reason I don't post responses as often as I would like is that I sometimes find it difficult to put my thought into writing. I cannot tell you how many times I started the response and then half way through realized that I cannot really express my thoughts well and delete it. Maybe it is because English is not my native language...<br /> Saying that I am always glad to see your posts and responses, Julie! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478065 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:48:39 +0000 Queen Mum 478065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bionda- you and other part timers are always more than welcome as far as I'm concerned. Pop in when you can!</p> <p>Much of what Fruitful said really resonated with me. We put way too many pressures and expectations on ourselves as women. We need to give ourselves and others grace. If you occasionally don't get back to a thread that you began... don't worry about it. If you have a busy week and don't get a chance to comment on everyone's WIW... oh well! If I comment on a thread and that person doesn't acknowledge my comment, I need to choose to assume that life got in the way... not that she didn't appreciate my comment.</p> <p>It's all good </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478045 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:23:36 +0000 celia 478045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nowadays I feel a little guilty of not participating much.But my laptop broke down and answering in the android to regular posts is not very easy.<br /> This being said, I always love your threads and completely understand that people have busy lives.Every time you pass by is like having a quick coffee with a busy friend.<br /> There is a visible difference between self promotion and just being unable to participate more. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478033 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:13:22 +0000 D'Ellen 478033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RoseandJoan, I'm happy you raised this question as I've also wondered about the "etiquette". I'm one whose online time is limited and I participate sopradically. I do pop in every day to read Angie's blog and check out the fashion forum, but often it's during a break at work and I don't respond at work for fear of getting too involved and taking too much time away from my always busy schedule. By the time I get home, sort the mail, have dinner, straighten the house, etc. I may not have time to check back at all, or I've forgotten what I intended to respond to, or don't have time to respond to all I'd like to. I have yet to start a thread knowing that I may not have time to follow it up, and I don't anticipate posting photos in the near future. All of which makes it seem as if I'm hanging about on the fringes, so I'm interested to see how others feel about "part-timers". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478027 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:10:25 +0000 Transcona Shannon 478027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is an extremely timely post for me - I had recently started a thread asking members' thoughts on WIW posts. I had no idea it would garner so many responses and I simply could not keep up with replies. I am very grateful to all who responded but could not personally reply to each and every comment. I then felt guilty for starting a conversation that I couldn't continue to participate in. I also recently had a wonderful exchange with Angie seeking advice on accessories for a party outfit. After that flurry of activity, I again felt guilty thinking I'd been a "blog hog". Now the past two days it's been extremely busy for me and I've hardly been able to read other members' threads and comments. So what's a person to do? I must admit, I'm finding it difficult to find a balance between reading everyone's threads and commenting (which I always want to do) but also seeking some advice for my own style questions. How do we find balance? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-web-etiquette-post-and-run#post-478021 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:02:15 +0000 Fruitful 478021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Melllls (wow, how many lls lol) I get what you're saying I was responding that way mostly because of my own guilt over not replying sometimes!</p> <p>It's human to feel irked when others never respond; I know I do, sometimes. And if someone never, ever comments on other posts, I'm less likely to comment on theirs as it feels a bit one-sided. I agree with Angie though that we *should* actually welcome all positive, on topic posts as it is still a contribution that someone may appreciate! </p>