https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 14:46:14 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570746 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 04:09:34 +0000 Jenava 570746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My best friend in college did basically the same thing to me after I came back from spending the field work term with my grandmother (who spoiled me with food), only she accompanied it by smacking me in the bottom as I was going up the stairs in front of her! Of course, she didn't mean I looked bad...it was more like a term of endearment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570686 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 02:21:55 +0000 Michelle 570686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sigh, indeed. I'm well and truly perplexed by what makes people think such comments would ever be welcome. When was the last time you marched up to anyone and said, "man, that's one hell of a zit on your chin!" or "Good lord, someone's hairdresser was drinking on the job." Weight, like either of these other factors, is so very personal. My sincere comiserations. I go through this regularly with my family, who are otherwise marvellous. It's so bad that I'm actually freaking out about an upcoming vacation with them all. Like, losing sleep freaking out. You're going to be my role model for handling it with such aplomb.</p> <p>Shannon: That plaque needs to be mass-produced and posted everywhere. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570660 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 01:02:46 +0000 ironkurtin 570660@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>She always calls me by endearments. She's the only person who ever really does! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570651 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 00:53:43 +0000 CocoLion 570651@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Hon" ? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570596 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 23:33:40 +0000 Transcona Shannon 570596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother gave my second oldest brother a plaque for his bedroom door when he was an obnoxious and mouthy teenager: "be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth into gear". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570592 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 23:29:27 +0000 soobee 570592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It was always my awful father who made the nasty comments. I had "puppy fat" growing up and as a young adult I finally lost it and was a healthy weight. Instead of the nasty fat comments, then it was "oh - you've got that disease - you should see a shrink". He meant that I was anorexic. There's no pleasing some people! I wonder what nan would have said if you replied "Oh my goodness! Have I?" lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570579 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 23:14:22 +0000 ironkurtin 570579@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OMG, your mothers-in-law say this?! The urge to say something deeply catty back would be almost unbearable... something like, "Oh ha ha yes, your son just won't ever let me out of that bed!" or "Oh yes, it helps to keep me looking young! Skinny women can look so haggard, don't you think?"</p> <p>Luckily I know my nanny would never say anything mean to hurt me. She's from Trinidad, I wonder if getting a little bit softer is a compliment on the islands? (It certainly can be in some places!) She went on to say that she could tell life was a little bit easier for me now. The comment just hit a sore spot because I miss being as fit as I once was. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570422 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 20:01:35 +0000 biscuitsmom 570422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sara, mine did too Im so sorry... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570421 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 19:58:00 +0000 Sara L. 570421@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother-in-law always says things like that to me. She always says it really loud too so everyone around can hear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570420 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 19:57:43 +0000 biscuitsmom 570420@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My sister NEVER misses the opportunity to talk about *any* perceived weight gain of mine... One time she actually gasped and said 'oh my gawd, whats that? oh, I guess its your stomach' even though she sees me WEEKLY! Some people need to put others down to satisfy some need of their own, I guess....please dont let it get to you! I (and many others) think you are VERY lovely! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570408 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 19:50:17 +0000 Meredith1953 570408@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK,<br /> Sorry, but some people just say inane things!</p> <p>I'm really lucky because my sweet 83 year old mom thinks I look beautiful no matter what! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570330 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 18:35:59 +0000 Janet 570330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Groan. </p> <p>I love and miss my mom dearly, but I can't help but remember the time I showed up at her house to paint her living room ceiling, with my new boyfriend (now my husband). She took the opportunity to remark that I looked like I'd gained a few pounds. Gee, thanks, mom. :-/ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570314 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 18:13:01 +0000 ManidipaM 570314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to smile, IK! I can just imagine the mothering tone of voice this would be delivered in!</p> <p>FWIW, you look great in the photos, though I've no point of comparison! And it's probably better than the old chestnut I get handed --- 'You've lost weight! What have you been doing?!' (erm, no, actually I've put ON five pounds! How fat did you think I was last year, again?) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570279 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:38:15 +0000 Elly 570279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother pulled an "Isabel's mother" last January. I had been feeling really poorly with fatigue and shortness of breath when I visited her over the holidays-- and she told me that everyone gets tired at Christmas. I was back for a visit a couple of weeks later and she started talking about my weight and how I looked "puffy" (my mother does not have a healthy relationship with weight and food, so I find it particularly annoying because I would never talk to her that way). After the first 3 times she said it I just had to tell her that my doctor thought that I had gone into heart failure. Sure enough, all 20 pounds turned out to be fluid pressing on my lungs because my heart wasn't able to keep up. </p> <p>Unfortunately, she still talks about the size and shape of my thighs, and if she has the opportunity-- anything about my behind. Some people never learn . . . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570275 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:35:40 +0000 rachylou 570275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wait! Is she German Catholic? That's what my aunties would say to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570222 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 16:47:12 +0000 rae 570222@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, heh heh, I agree this is the motherly instinct in her! You don't need to be super skinny, anyway. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570205 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 16:24:50 +0000 Freckles 570205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sigh, what is the weight issue with mom's or almost mom's?</p> <p>You look great in your pics and they always tend to look like you carry more weight than you actually do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570167 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:02:31 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 570167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you look great as is too. Ignore. People sometimes say things that aren't what they meant to say and don't know how to dig out without making it worse. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570164 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:59:44 +0000 Isis 570164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, ......ignore! FWIW, you always look super fit in your WIW's.....</p> <p>Have fun in NYC! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570156 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:47:48 +0000 ironkurtin 570156@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isabel, I can't believe your mother said that! Actually, yes I can. My mother would have said something along those lines, I can hear her now. Only she wouldn't understand why I would have snarled at her about it, because of course she's only saying it out of love! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570155 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:45:42 +0000 ironkurtin 570155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh it's fine! It's just that I just LOST weight (or at least inches) from where I was. But not back to my previous super skinny NYC incarnation, I guess! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570152 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:42:48 +0000 Anonymous 570152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Arghrrrr... Not even sweat it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570150 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:41:39 +0000 Anonymous 570150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570145 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:39:38 +0000 Isabel 570145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry IK, but this sort of cracks me up..motherly types and caretakers seen to feel ok telling you that you have gained weight, have facial hair, dress terribly, and so on. Once I started feeling a little better, my mom said, " You have gained weight , especially your stomach. You look 4 months pregnant. It 's not attractive at your age. " </p> <p>I responded with, " It's the cancer meds. I would rather have a big belly than have metastic cancer." Shut her up. ( By the way, my dad audibly gasped when she said that. Time for a male nanny, LOL )</p> <p>Have fun in NY and eat to your heart's content, right in front of the nanny ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-thanks-for-noticing#post-570140 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:35:18 +0000 ironkurtin 570140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We are in NYC as a present for my daughter's 8th birthday. She is getting to spend time with her nanny, the loveliest possible woman. We haven't seen her in 4 years. So they get together this morning, and after all the hugs and kisses this sweet woman says to me in the nicest possible way, "Put on a little weight, hon?"</p> <p>Um. Yes...? Shoot. </p>