https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 03 May 2026 19:27:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-257581 Mon, 29 Nov 2010 13:01:19 +0000 stringy 257581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I haven't been online much so I hadn't seen this before - I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you, and am sending big hugs your way! I hope you're keeping busy until it's time for the results. </p> <p>This is pretty scary stuff, but you're getting onto it early which is the most giant *hugely* important factor in getting through this. </p> <p>I'm taking your advice and getting my skin checked next time I'm visiting my GP. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-257121 Sun, 28 Nov 2010 03:31:26 +0000 Isabel 257121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Katie, to answer your questions : I was pretty young the first time a "suspicious" mole was taken off my face. I was 8 years old. So I really didn't get it. The second time, it was melanoma and I was in my mid twenties and I didn't have children. I think that adds to the stress. I just kept thinking that I was in the best place possible for treatment and that it was out of my hands. Though I TOTALLY freaked out the day I heard that I had a herniated disc protruding into my spinal cord ( I am ok from that too).</p> <p>All I can say is don't put pressure on yourself or judge yourself about reacting a certain way. Each of us deals with it our own way, so every way is ok. The worst reaction ( and I am NOT kidding ) that I have ever had was when I went to see a migraine specialist and he said no more chocolate or pepperoni/sausages. </p> <p>Please let us know how things turn out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-257116 Sun, 28 Nov 2010 03:24:29 +0000 morethanbeige 257116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I am sending you prayers and hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-257013 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 20:11:29 +0000 Steph 257013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katie, I'll definitely be thinking of you, and based on everything you have said I am very optimistic that you are totally fine and caught everything very, very early. </p> <p>To answer your question about whether other people have felt the same way you did when they first found out: I have never had any suspicious moles or growths, but I do have a friend who did, and was told it could be melanoma. She definitely went into a panic, and actually ended up seeing a therapist and going on some basic anti-anxiety medication because the prospect of having a malignant melanoma was so scary to her. Like you, she has two young children, and she said that hearing that she might have something potentially deadly was terrifying to her. It turned out that she was totally fine, the growth was easily removed, and she has had no further issues. She does go for skin checks every six months, just to be extra safe, and I know that makes her feel a lot better. She is a completely normal, rational, and very intelligent person, and I think her reaction was completely understandable, as is yours. There is absolutely no reason to apologize for how you are feeling. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-256999 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 19:52:03 +0000 Reneeb 256999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry to hear about your health report. I think you are handling this news very well. I will be praying for a good report and please keep us posted. God Bless You. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-256989 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 19:42:09 +0000 Marley 256989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just want you to know that I have been thinking about you these past few days and sending up lots of prayers! The worst part (I think) is the waiting - I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this! Sending you hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-256943 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:57:49 +0000 Jonesy 256943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Of course it's absolutely normal to panic and feel anxious! This is how anyone would feel! No need to apologize for reacting like this. I am thinking good thoughts for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/3#post-256928 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:42:15 +0000 biscuitsmom 256928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I havent been online much, so I missed this when you first posted but I want to say how sorry I am that you need to go thru this! The other ladies have given you so much good advice, I really have nothing to add except you are in our thoughts and prayers....TG it was caught early and dealt with right away. Please NEVER feel the need to apologize about your feelings- you are with very caring, concerned friends here who wish you the very best of luck..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256827 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 09:06:02 +0000 Theresa 256827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Kirstie, I am sending you the most massive of hugs and want to jump in my car and come down and give you one in real life...</p> <p>I think its perfectly naturally for you to be as cautious as you are about this. But I also think that the right steps have been taken, and you are in good hands.</p> <p>The girls dad has a condition (the name escapes me now), but it causes lots of skin lesions, and when he was 18 he was diagnosed with melanoma and told he had 18mths to live if he didn't have it removed ASAP. So, he has a massive scar on his neck that has been covered with a skin graft from his thigh (and FWIW, he said the skin graft was more painful than any other part of the whole ordeal), and is vigilant about getting everything checked - he pretty much goes to the Dr's now and lists the moles he wants removed and they just take out as many as possible in each visit just to be sure. But, he is now a very healthy almost 35 year old who is very vigilant about keeping his own skin, and the girls skin protected.</p> <p>Please, vent as much as you need, and know that you are the thoughts of many.</p> <p>Big hugs sweetie. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256818 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 08:22:14 +0000 Lena 256818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry, Katie, I didn't answer one of your questions. </p> <p>You asked: "Could you tell me, after you got the all clear following removal/surgery, how long did it take for you to realise that you were ok and could still go on to live a long and healthy life, not living in fear of dying from this "condition"? Straight away? After a year? More than that?"</p> <p>I think I calmed down significantly after the last pathology result, which was negative. Then I had follow ups with my surgeon for one more year, and he would basically check my ear and the surgery site to be sure nothing was showing up again. By that time, these appointments didn't feel any different than my regular dermatologist checks. In fact, I'm more anxious about my other moles than my ear. </p> <p>So to answer your question, it was very fast, almost instant. The initial waiting for surgery and consequent test results was the most stressful. </p> <p>Hang in there and stay strong. And distract yourself with whatever in the meantime. I also think it's healthy that you're not in denial and pushing down your feelings. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256812 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:59:53 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 256812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no real words of wisdom, Katie. Only hugs and well wishes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256809 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:55:04 +0000 Sharon 256809@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear this has happened, but like your Dad,pleased to hear it was picked up so early. My thoughts will be with you over the next few weeks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256805 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:48:28 +0000 AJ 256805@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry that you are going through this. However, you are not alone. Our health IS serious business so no worries about reaching out and sharing your fears. I'm so thankful you are vigilant about getting checked. I will be praying for your week and the test results. Waiting is so hard...distract yourself with being in the moment with your loved ones. Lots of hugs to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256804 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:48:12 +0000 Lena 256804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sparky, so true about viewing the Sun as The Evil Incarnate. Like you, I was always good about limiting my sun exposure, except when I was a child and sun bathing was actually encouraged. And melanoma is this weird beast that's unlike more shallow skin cancers like basal cell and squamous cells cancers. For example it can grow in places that get little or no sun exposure. It's believed that sun plays a role, but it's not the whole story. </p> <p>Anyway, I also went through a phase when I avoided the sun like crazy. I drove myself and my family nuts, obsessing with sunscreens and coverage, and basically living like a vampire. I realized I was making myself more miserable, but I let myself go through it because it was a part of learning to deal with the reality of this disease. Plus I had a feeling it will lessen with time. And it did. I'm far less obsessed now than I was two years ago. </p> <p>(curiously, I became hyper aware of sun damage and sun protection about a year BEFORE my melanoma surgery)</p> <p>I can't say I'm completely calm about it, though. I know I'm genetically predisposed to have skin cancer, so I'm still vigilant about sun exposure, and keeping track of all my numerous moles, and generally staying healthy. It also reminded me to live life as fully as possible. And that's why I've taken to having fun with fashion </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256798 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:29:10 +0000 Lena 256798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Katie, I'm sorry. Don't apologize for sharing - it's not good to keep these feelings pent up, and it's completely natural to feel this way. I totally understand how you're feeling right now because I was in the same situation several years ago. </p> <p>The first suspicious mole was also on my lower back and it was my first serious scare (it turned out fine). Then a year later my doctor found an early melanoma on my ear lobe, and I had two plastic surgeries to remove it (to remove more margin, and to put my ear back together).</p> <p>When I first found out about my ear I was shocked and afraid. And what shocked me the most was my own reaction, which I didn't expect. I didn't expect that it would hit me as hard as it did. I never expected to feel so afraid and so angry.<br /> My dermatologist and the surgeon were very calm about it, and I got the feeling that it wasn't an emergency surgery, so it reassured me a bit. My general doctor, however, told me it could be serious, and how she had a male patient who died very shortly after they discovered his late-stage melanoma (my general doctor is excellent, but can be harsh at times as you can see). </p> <p>Hang in there, Katie. We're thinking about you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256751 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 02:47:45 +0000 Vani 256751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BIG (((hugs))) Katie. Please don't apologize for venting. I cannot imagine being in your position but I am sending many thoughts and prayers your way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256735 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 02:05:52 +0000 Sparky 256735@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>K, please do not apologize or feel sheepish! I pictured the exact scenario in my head ~ you were home with the little ones, couldn't talk on the phone to other adults b/c they were underfoot, and all the pent-up fears and gush of emotion just needs to come out somewhere so that you can work your way through it. We are here for all that! :)</p> <p>&gt;It has made me feel better to hear these stories about people who have had &gt;melanoma's cut out and are all fine, often many years on. Can you please tell &gt;me, when you first heard the news, did you also feel the way that I currently am (ie. &gt;panic, fear the worst)? It is fine if you didn't feel the same extent of fear - I'm trying to &gt;work out whether my reaction is rational or a tad over the top. </p> <p>I vividly remember the phone call from the surgeon. When I had shown the mole to the dermatologist, she had said it might be atypical but that she wasn't concerned it was anything serious (and she even said if she thought it was serious she would have walked me down the hall to the surgeon immediately). She referred me to a surgeon to have it removed though, and the surgeon also said she didn't think it was anything of concern. So when the surgeon gave the biopsy results, I remember being in shock. I was at work in my office. I closed the door and called my then-BF (now DH). He started crying. I remember mostly how I wanted to learn everything there possibly was to know about melanoma. However, the surgeon also spent a lot of time explaining to me that the margins were clear, that the cancer was localized, that I would be okay and didn't need any other treatment besides a bigger excision. I also did not have kids at that point. That has a HUGE impact on how I view things and react to the world around me nowadays.</p> <p>&gt;Could you tell me, after you got the all clear following removal/surgery, how long did &gt;it take for you to realise that you were ok and could still go on to live a long and &gt;healthy life, not living in fear of dying from this "condition"? Straight away? After a &gt;year? More than that? </p> <p>I was lucky in that I didn't worry much about dying from this melanoma given the excellent approach my surgeon took, but boy did I ever think of the sun as Evil Incarnate afterward. The surgeon and the dermatologist both put the fear of G*d in me where the sun was concerned! I had always been pretty good about protecting myself from the sun as an adult but I went to extremes after this. It really affected how I lived my life for quite a while, a good couple of years. Those feelings of the sun as some devilish creature out to kill me slowly lessened and have quite vanished now. I had the melanoma 13 years ago. </p> <p>KP, feel free to pm me if you want. Anytime. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256723 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 01:39:46 +0000 Jenava 256723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You might do well to mention how your doctor's remarks affected you to her so she can learn to be more careful with others in the same situation in the future. Glad to hear you are being well taken care of! (-: </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256721 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 01:37:31 +0000 KristineK 256721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending more hugs your way and keeping my fingers crossed for you, Katie :-). Having been through something very similar myself (except in my case, it was a few breast tissue biopsies), I can totally relate to the stress, anxiety and even fear this kind of experience can cause. Do you know anyone close by who has been through something similar? I found that it helped a lot to talk to someone else who'd been down that road before me.</p> <p>Also, for what it's worth, your Dad sounds great. So supportive and wise </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256714 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 01:13:54 +0000 taylor 256714@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katie, Hang in there!! Doctors say the stupidest things sometimes! I don't believe they realize the impact words have!!<br /> Lots of prayers and support coming your way! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256710 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:50:14 +0000 nicole470 256710@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katiepea, it is totally natural for you to feel anxious and scared, so please don't apologise for it. As many people believe God works in mysterious ways to make things happen, I believe the universe works in many ways similarly, and what you speak becomes truths. So instead of worrying and being anxious, try saying to yourself that you are strong and healthy, strong and healthy. Just repeat it to yourself over and over and focus on the positive, don't let negative thoughts enter your mind. Some people might think that's a load of old cods wallop, but it has worked for me over a very hard and trying last 9 months and I can only hope that it will work for you too. Stay strong Katiepea xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256709 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:49:36 +0000 catgirl 256709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>KP, sorry I just read this! Sending you lots of hugs and love. I just checked in and haven't read all the responses, but I know you will have tons of support with whatever happens. I recently went through a health scare myself, and I know how frightening it can be to think of all the possibilities. Take care and keep us posted. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256706 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:41:09 +0000 Michelle 256706@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dearest Kirstie, never ever apologize for giving way to your feelings. We are your friends, regardless of whether we've met in the flesh or not, and if you can't speak honestly to your friends then you can't do much.<br /> I believe that your dad has hit upon an excellent way to look at this issue, and I hope it gives you comfort. But if you find that some days his wise words simply won't register, that's ok. It's perfectly natural and even healthy to be worried about this development, and you are allowed to think of your own mental well-being as well as your family during this time.<br /> Your doctor certainly sounds like she has things well in hand, and I sincerely hope the procedure you just went through closes out this chapter of your medical history. Whatever happens, please let us know.<br /> Love and hugs from this Canadian cancer survivor! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256692 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 00:03:46 +0000 Marigold 256692@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to send you a virtual hug and tell you to vent as much as you want/need here. It's very important to let out pent up emotions and fears, and we're here to listen and lean on, always! When will the doctor have the results? I pray it's going to be ok and you don't need additional surgery. Sending warm wishes and thoughts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256691 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 23:44:14 +0000 Katiepea 256691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support, you really are so kind and beautiful. I can feel your energy, your love, your empathy and can feel you holding my hand. </p> <p>I am currently feeling quite sheepish and like I've been a drama queen for posting here yesterday - all I can say is that I was so incredibly pent up with emotion and trying outwardly to be calm around my little children yesterday. My beautiful hubby was at work and I was alone at home with the kids until he got here. Thank you for Angie and everyone for providing me with a much needed outlet to voice my biggest fears. I promise you that it won't be a frequent occurence. </p> <p>It has made me feel better to hear these stories about people who have had melanoma's cut out and are all fine, often many years on. Can you please tell me, when you first heard the news, did you also feel the way that I currently am (ie. panic, fear the worst)? It is fine if you didn't feel the same extent of fear - I'm trying to work out whether my reaction is rational or a tad over the top. Could you tell me, after you got the all clear following removal/surgery, how long did it take for you to realise that you were ok and could still go on to live a long and healthy life, not living in fear of dying from this "condition"? Straight away? After a year? More than that? </p> <p>My husband is so incredibly furious with the Dr for even saying that diagnosis to me off the cuff without having pathology results to back her up. He thinks it was a cruel thing to say, given she knows how I lost my mother a couple of years ago. You know what, I agree - I'm feeling a bit mad now as well!! </p> <p>I am hoping that pathology wouldn't take a week - I'm hoping I'd know either way Tuesday or Wednesday next week.</p> <p>Anyway, thank you so much everyone. I truly hope that I have been blabbing about this and getting myself all worked up over a Dr being careless with her choice of words. I promise after my family and closest friends have been informed of the next steps (if any), I will write and tell you all!</p> <p>Once again, please let me use this in a positive way to be a nagging mother and remind you to GET YOUR SKIN CHECKED!!! Please do this EVEN if you do not like spending time out in the sun and EVEN if you use sunscreen. Remember, you can't see all of your body - mine was on my lower back and very small - my hubby didn't notice it as being abnormal in appearance. OK, mother rant over. </p> <p>Now my gorgeous hubby is going to make me pancakes for breakfast. (I love having a personal chef on a weekend morning to cater to my every whim! :-)) </p> <p>Back to gorgeous fashion and style...</p> <p>x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256609 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 19:32:33 +0000 tarzy 256609@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to add my good wishes to all the others. Stay strong! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256607 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 19:24:40 +0000 Barbara 256607@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending thoughts and prayers your way, Katie. My brother, a very fair red-head, has had several melanomas - all small - successfully removed without any further treatment needed. I know that you are scared, but try not to worry - we are here with you!</p> <p>Good point about checkups. My entire family is VERY fair skinned (Scots-Irish); my siblings and I visit our dermatologists yearly for thorough checkups. We all use high SPF sunblock daily. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256589 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 18:57:30 +0000 CK 256589@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending good thoughts, Katie. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256583 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 18:25:54 +0000 Kristine 256583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this KatiePea! It sounds like you have a lot on your side. I'll be hoping and praying for the best for you. Please take good care of yourself and let us know what you find out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-scared-can-you-please-cross-your-fingers-for-me/page/2#post-256580 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 18:18:04 +0000 Isabel 256580@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry to hear that Katie !! The "C" word is very scary. Your suggestion that everyone get checked is something positive that will come out of this. I had melanoma many years ago and they took a chunk out of my jaw line. It was early, like yours, so I didn't need radiation or chemo ( You can barely see the scare ). My mom has also had something like 5 melanomas, again all early because we are vigilant. </p> <p>Don't let this reframe you life, just be thankful that you now are alert to it and can catch it early. GOOD LUCK !!!!!!! Let us know how the margins work out. </p>