https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 02 May 2026 15:31:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303953 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:19:25 +0000 Scarlet 303953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also found this to be very frustrating. The book Bridal Bargains was pretty good. I had two weddings (different continents) and two dresses. One was a cream cocktail dress from Macy's (ordered on the internet), kind of 60s style. Actually my aunt told me it looked just like her wedding dress. The second one was mail-order J. Crew fitted by my trusty local dry cleaner lady. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303600 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:31:42 +0000 Deb 303600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae: I have nothing to add to this engrossing thread but to wish you all that's wonderful in the years ahead. In the end, it is your commitment to one another - everything else is just trappings.</p> <p>Very best wishes, and a wedding ((hug)). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303590 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 03:13:00 +0000 rae 303590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, I am really grateful for all of your experience and suggestions! And I am so happy to see that so many of you were able to hold fabulous weddings within a realistic budget. I am taking so many notes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303578 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 02:18:37 +0000 cloud9 303578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae... if you are in LA.. There is this "bridal street" on Las Tunas in Arcadia. The section is full of shops for wedding related stuff. There is a huge wedding dress shop (I think was 2000 dreams or something), you can try on. They even allow you to RENT a wedding dress, and may even tailor it as well. They cater to chinese community around there, so lots of petite options as well.</p> <p>Oh, to commiserate with you, my friend who is getting married next month, says the same as you do. what a scam! Any place for a meeting would cost for $100, as soon as they hear the word "wedding", another 0 gets added... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303503 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 23:10:39 +0000 Kate 303503@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not married but I wanted to chime in and say that there are LOTS of blogs out there about getting married for cheap. The first that comes to mind is <a href="http://2000dollarwedding.com/" rel="nofollow">http://2000dollarwedding.com/</a>, and there's some cheap-ish wedding stuff here <a href="http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/" rel="nofollow">http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/</a>. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303415 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 20:11:19 +0000 DanaLynn 303415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey Rae- I also did a small wedding too. We had 25 people total- so a little larger than yours. We found a restaurant that was really cool. It was an old train station that had been renovated. It was fun and different- and CHEAP! </p> <p>If you keep running into wedding fees- maybe try a different approach. Tell them you are renewing your vows with your parents. Maybe that would avoid fee police if you get caught in a park or something? I don't think most reasonable people would hassle 6 folks in a park. The fees are designed for the hassle associated with 100 people tramping through. </p> <p>Best of luck and congratulations! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303407 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 19:55:10 +0000 RoseandJoan 303407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm of the opinion that it's not the wedding but the marriage that counts. I would have married Ben in a bin bag in a carpark so long as we were married by the end of the day. Mine and Ben's family plus some close friends all travelled to vegas from the UK for less than half the price of the average Britiah wedding. You will get the day you and your hubby to be wish for and you will be so happy you did not compromise along the way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303274 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:02:13 +0000 Bluebell 303274@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh hun I'm SO SO sorry of your experiences - that is AWFUL.<br /> I'm literally typing and running but we renewed our vows at xmas and I was doing it on a shoe string. We had no money and I made the bits and we found a 5 star hotel who rented us out a conference room - it was all amazing.<br /> We were meant to be having the ceremony in a church and then the night before my son was really ill so we had to cancel so we brought the ceremony to him - collected the decorations from the church - lit the room with candles etc it was magical - then did the 2nd half a week later. The whole thing cost us almost nothing. We didn't invite anyone so that was easy but it all worked out well. All my decorations were things like twigs from the woods near us etc. I kept emailing hotels, restaurants etc about private dining rooms and the prices varied between 150 - 2000 for EXACTLY the same thing!!! We went for the 150 pounds and it was INCREDIBLE!!!! and they treated us like stars and even bought us a bouquet of exotic flowers worth about 100 pounds to congratulate us!!! I revamped up my old dress but I would have bought off ebay if not xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam/page/2#post-303273 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:00:26 +0000 catgirl 303273@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I just want to offer my sympathy. Weddings should be fun to plan, not make your life harder. I hope you manage to have the day you want and deserve.</p> <p>Here in Alaska anyone can be a justice of the peace for a day and lots of weddings are performed in people's houses, yards, or mountaintops. I did the wedding ceremony for my best friend on a frozen lake - we skied out to the middle and stood there freezing with just two witnesses. Cheapest wedding EVER. (Of course, we had a huge party afterward!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303268 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:51:04 +0000 Queen Mum 303268@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I't not actually in LA, but we had some family pictures done at Claremont Colleges in Claremont.<br /> <a href="http://www.claremont.edu/" rel="nofollow">http://www.claremont.edu/</a><br /> We did our pictures on the Scripps campus. It is a beautiful old campus with wonderful architecture to use as background for pictures.<br /> <a href="http://www.scrippscollege.edu/" rel="nofollow">http://www.scrippscollege.edu/</a></p> <p>We were using our own camera, and while we were there (on a Sunday afternoon with 22 people) we were approached by a security guard asking if we had a permit. Ummm, no..... She just said to keep it quiet and as long as nobody complained we would be fine. I realize that is a completely different situation from yours, but it would be an option for an outdoor ceremony and pictures and then you could go to a nearby restaurant for your meal. </p> <p>I have no idea what their policy for weddings is, but I do know that it is a really popular place for bridal parties to take pictures. Also, my sister had her wedding reception there 10 years ago, but it was for a large wedding. Anyhow, it might be worth looking into. How you go about that is anyones guess though :-)</p> <p>edit.. okay, so here is the link for contact information. It does look pricey, but since yours isnt' a typical large wedding it might be worth talking to this lady to see if you have any options.<br /> <a href="http://www.scrippscollege.edu/campus/conferences/policies-wedding.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.scrippscollege.edu/.....edding.php</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303259 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:14:45 +0000 rae 303259@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Refugee, thanks for suggesting a B&amp;B -- it never occurred to me, but I will add that to the list of things to check. </p> <p>Elly, BIG thanks for the news about needing a permit. We don't plan to hire a pro, but some of my friends have professional-looking camera equipment. Perhaps we will let them know to keep it low-key. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303149 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 08:20:42 +0000 Lynne 303149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Firstly, Rae - congratulations! It's a big but wonderful committment to make. </p> <p>I agree that you put 'wedding' in front of anything in the price soars. Even rings, apparantly. I love the idea of an evening dress (I don't actuall know anyone who ever did wear their dress again, but the principle is always there!). And I love Angie's take on your rings - that you can change them around later and keep the same hubby :).</p> <p>We booked our favourite restaurant for the evening, for 50 people, and not long after that it became a really 'in' place and the prices soared...we've been back for anniversary dinners when we've been in Australia. Nice memories :).</p> <p>Have fun, I'm looking forward to hearing more! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303136 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 06:39:56 +0000 Elly 303136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The park will only work if you don't have a professional photog-- L.A. parks requires a permit for anything other than family snapshots. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303091 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 04:27:23 +0000 Refugee 303091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Have you thought about looking into a Bed &amp; Breakfast? Lots of them love to do small intimate events. And have lovely spots to get married in gardens or parlors and great spots for photos. You can easily do a search online to get some places to start with and then call to chat with them about possibilities. The smaller less known ones will be much more willing to work with you and not charge you an arm and a leg. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303072 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 03:57:08 +0000 Isabel 303072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Because it is emotional and that is exploited. It also plays into this myth we have been given that it is "THE" day and that it is all about us and there is soooo much value in that that money shouldn't be the principal thing on our mind. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303052 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 03:24:22 +0000 rae 303052@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hm, the best part about this thread has turned out to be getting to read all of your own wedding stories!</p> <p>Amyreh, congrats to you!!</p> <p>Kristine, thank you for sharing the price point for the park - I'm definitely going to start checking out city and state park areas.</p> <p>Steph, on your suggestion, I've added a BCBG dress to my Ebay watch list! If I get into gear, I might be able to tell if my home-made dress will work by this weekend, and then I'll know if I need to buy something. </p> <p>Desmo, we're on the West side and eying some sushi places. I also had good thoughts about the Japanese garden in CSULB, which is free for regular entry, but they want big monies for a wedding. </p> <p>Jenava, your reception sounds wonderful! Mmm, barbecue! I have been to exactly ONE wedding myself, so I literally had no idea, but I now agree about avoiding "wedding" related stuff like the plague... O_O </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303022 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 01:56:48 +0000 Jenava 303022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you are only six then I think the park would be a fine option. You won't be having booze, so I don't see how you are doing anything illegal.</p> <p>I bought a Marc by MJ dress for my wedding (not floor length - didn't seem practical since we married on a farm). Our venue was a B&amp;B between guest stays. It cost $500 and really besides the food, was the most expensive part. But since we have about 80 guests the park without a permit wasn't an option, plus we needed somewhere for the receiption which did include champagne.</p> <p>We rented tables, cloths, we did the flowers ourselves (ordered online), and had a beautiful BBQ with all the family pitching in afterwards. It was really a lovely day, and I avoided anything "wedding" related like the plague. Just tell people you are having a birthday party. (-:<br /> Oh, and my brother got ordained online, so he married us. We wrote our own vows (-: </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-303005 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 00:40:03 +0000 Desmo April 303005@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>the wedding industry is crazy. I got married in Jamaica which was fantastic and super simple.</p> <p>Rae--<br /> What part of town are you in? You might be able to find a someone to help with the dress in the fashion district. I know a lot of sewers don't like to work on weddings because brides can be crazy.</p> <p>Is there a local restaurant that you guys like? If I was planning something I have a few that I'm pretty sure would cater for me in a back room.</p> <p>Have you looked at the James Irving Japanese Garden in Little Tokyo? I think it is pretty small so it can be much cheaper then other SoCal spots.<br /> <a href="http://www.jaccc.org/weddings.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.jaccc.org/weddings.php</a></p> <p>There is always Vegas! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302990 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:54:27 +0000 Michelle 302990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, glad you enjoyed Unhappybride...she's awesome and would love to know she's got company! :)<br /> Best of luck finding a suitable arrangement, you're getting great tips here! And, Congratulations! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302986 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:46:36 +0000 Kristine 302986@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's awful! It's one of the reasons I chose to make my own dress. Could you hire a seamstress/tailor to make one from a pattern for you? We got married at a park and it was very reasonable, less than $100 if I recall correctly. I would imagine with 6 people no one would hassle you in a quiet park. Don't forget to check with city and county parks. Or could you find a hotel package with a nice setting? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302984 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:36:32 +0000 Steph 302984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have never been married, but the whole wedding dress thing really gets to me. Bridal shops are the only places I know that can get away with requesting thousands of dollars for a dress that you don't get to try on in your size, have to wait months to receive, and can't return once it arrives. It always blows my mind that they will put a woman who is a size zero in a size 10 sample size, clip it in the back, and that's supposed to let her know everything she needs to about the dress she's going to be married in! </p> <p>I would encourage you to go to department stores (as well as the aforementioned J. Crew, Ann Taylor, etc.) to see what they have by way of white dresses. Since spring is upon us, there should be white dresses in stores soon. Also take a look at BCBG, which often sells long white dresses. </p> <p>I have to admit that the bridal industrial complex completely fascinates me. It is amazing that they have sold women on this fairy tale vision that can only be obtained by spending lots of money. From a business perspective, it's really quite brilliant! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302982 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:35:50 +0000 amyreh 302982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with the comments about online stores that you can return to being a good option - they have some beautiful stuff - White House/Black Market has some really pretty options that are fairly affordable as well! I am getting married in June, and while we are having a big wedding, I definitely sympathize about the craziness - my in laws didn't think our appetizers, salad, and full entree plate would be enough and wanted us to add another course... we finally convinced them it was not worth $2K to add soup to the menu : ) Good luck with everything, I'm sure you will find somewhere and it will be beautiful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302980 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:33:05 +0000 Anonymous 302980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just did a quick check of Craigslist in my town and it has a gazillion wedding dresses, many with tags still on. Just a thought! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302975 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:31:08 +0000 annagybe 302975@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Because the chances of repeat business is very low. Even if one gets married again, it'd probably be all different. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302974 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:27:40 +0000 Anonymous 302974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wonder if you might be able to find a dress at a resale shop? Good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302973 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:16:00 +0000 rae 302973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zoe B. That is exactly what we were thinking of: short go among some trees, then dinner at a restaurant. I'm glad you were able to do it! Hm, I will look into horticultural societies. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302970 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:10:27 +0000 rae 302970@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, it does make me feel better knowing that it is not just ME. </p> <p>Michelle, I particularly enjoy commiserating with unhappybride! Thanks for the link!</p> <p>chewyspaghetti, I totally agree about going outside the box. I'm using curtain material to try and make my dress (white on white vertical stripes). </p> <p>I just keep having visions of some unhappy security man stomping over to fine me in the middle of our ceremony because a we've chosen a field or garden or alleyway that was supposed to be reserved. "Oh, is that a wedding dress?" Unhappy Security Man will say. "In that case, you owe us $30,000,000." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302967 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:01:58 +0000 Zoe B. 302967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, this reminds me of my frustrations 4 years ago. We did a small wedding too... I got a dress from JCrew. Its nice quality but a very simple style (kind of like that thrifted pink dress you posted earlier but cream and long). We went to an arboretum where we did the ceremony and then off to a local restaurant. Sorry to hear that arboretums are not as accessible in LA. That's so frustrating and outrageous. I know that one of the parks in Boston allows wedding parties to take pictures there, and possibly ceremonies too, as long as they sign up in advance. Not sure about LA though. Another option would be a horticultural society of some sort that has a restaurant on premises, or a small farm with some sort of restaurant or cafe...<br /> A friend of mine got married in a short 60s style white dress a couple years back. If you're into that, maybe you can find a fun white dress?<br /> oh, and some inspiration from weddings that don't necessarily feature matching bridesmaids and all that jazz <a href="http://theunbride.com/" rel="nofollow">http://theunbride.com/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302954 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 22:39:47 +0000 FoolOfATook 302954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bridal shops can be obnoxious. Way overpriced. Have you tried online options? The Limited, Nordstroms, J Crew, Ann Taylor all have wedding apparel. Good luck. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-why-is-everything-wedding-related-such-a-huge-scam#post-302951 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 22:36:23 +0000 Michelle 302951@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I have no particular advice, but thought I'd let you know you're not alone. Check out this blog that a woman I know is writing about her wedding experience...it's on this very subject!<br /> unhappybride.wordpress.com </p>