https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 05 May 2026 15:13:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-191596 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:40:47 +0000 chewyspaghetti 191596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's nice to hear an update, Ele. It sounds like you have a good plan. It's too bad you can't just marry a Canadian- that worked out really well for my FIL! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-191520 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:44:24 +0000 Ele 191520@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I thought I'd stepped back in time when I saw this thread on the front page today! </p> <p>Moving has been shunted to the back burner in the past few months, as it was just too much to deal with on top of some other stuff recently. We have plans to get back on top of things in the Fall, when we come home from our holiday to Canada. It's looking like we won't be back before next summer, but that's okay. Our priority is moving back at a nice time of year, when we can take a month or so and travel around Canada, seeing a lot of the places we/my bf hasn't seen yet, before we settle, gets jobs, etc.</p> <p>So Mac, that's a little far off for a get-together but I did tell Michelle that I might be in TO at Christmas. I will keep you both posted! </p> <p>Katie, thank you for your words of support! Really, it sounds like you know how this stuff feels. I'll be re-visiting this thread back when we start filing things again in a couple months, because you've all left such helpful and sweet comments. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-191494 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:48:28 +0000 Katiepea 191494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Poor you Ele, I really do sympathise!</p> <p>My brother had to go through this when his lovely wife (now one of my gorgeous SIL's) decided to immigrate to Australia. They went through an absolutely dreadful time of it. They even got to the point where they went to their local member of Federal Government (who luckily for them, was in the Cabinet, so had wide reaching influence) to complain about the amount of time it took to get their genuine relationship processed and her permanent residency approved and issued. Funny how that sped things up. After twelve months of waiting, suddenly her residency was approved within three working days. Coincidence? ;-)</p> <p>Don't give up, one foot in front of the other. You really will get there! (I'm saying that sincerely. You really will. It's just that you have to accept might be feeling like you are slightly lacking your sanity for a while. My SIL's eye has finally stopped twitching now when she talks of the experience......) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-191486 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:54:18 +0000 Mac 191486@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ele - When will you be back? Michelle and I will be waiting for you in Toronto, ready for a YLF Toronto get-together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-127682 Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:34:52 +0000 shana 127682@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ele, I empathize- it is very stressful!!! People often complain about immigrants but have no idea how difficult and strenuous the process of immigration can be. I never had to go through this for myself (my parents did it for me since I came to the US as a child) but it was eye opening going through it for my husband (I was his "sponsor" as his wife). I managed to do all the forms myself - we were struggling students at the time so we could not have afforded a lawyer anyway. But I did have alot of help from a few online communities of people who were going through the same thing. They really can be a terrific resource and I would suggest searching out one for Canadian immigration. So basically look for the immigration version of ylf!! </p> <p>Funny story - going into the INS office was always a trip since people automatically assumed that the brown girl must be the one that needs to be there - not the blond, blue-eyed caucasian. I always enjoyed setting them straight that no, I was the US citizen and the white guy was the one applying! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126786 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:29:14 +0000 Ele 126786@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No Angie, you're right- maybe I wasn't being clear! Immigration process is for Andrew, but because of the type of immigration we're pursuing (Family Class), I am involved too. Basically, I am the Sponsor and he is the Principal Applicant- there are a stack of forms and though most of them are for him, 25-30% of them are questions for me. I have to be approved as a sponsor before they consider his application for permanent residence, if that makes sense. </p> <p>Also, because we're partners, I'm automatically involved in all the forms about "proving" our relationship- and getting the joint bills, photos, letters, etc. together. I suppose I *could* just let the poor boy do it all on his own, but I have a feeling it would take a lot longer that way! </p> <p>He has lived in Canada before on 3 occasions- first as an exchange student for one semester, then two separate gap years (separated by one year at uni), with a temporary work visa. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126731 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:55:23 +0000 elpgal 126731@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Medusa, There are plenty of immigration lawyers and consults and they cost a pretty penny. Ele, Good luck. We spent a few years on the process and I am glad to be on the other side of it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126720 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:35:58 +0000 Angie 126720@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ele, I am missing something. This immigration process is for Andrew and not you, right? You are Canadian and do not need permission to live in your own country. Just like I do not need to immigrate back to the Netherlands because I hold the nationality. </p> <p>Has Andrew lived in Canada before? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126649 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:15:53 +0000 Ele 126649@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kristen- Thank you! I might just take you up on that in the future, if things get too confusing. Don't worry, I don't think there's a conspiracy, though your comment made me laugh- I bet a lot of immigration lawyers get that line from clients! </p> <p>Bella, we've had people suggest that to us before, but in this case it wouldn't actually help. I'm very grateful that Canada holds common-law unions in exactly the same light as marriages. From what I've read (maybe Kristen can confirm this?) the approval and decline rates are very similar, whether you're married or not. We fill out the exact same forms as married couples- it's a question of "Are you married? If so, when/where/etc, if not, skip to the next question." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126597 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:44:48 +0000 Kristen 126597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hang in there, it can be a bureaucratic nightmare but there is no conspiracy and it usually will work out, but beware, the queue is long and it can take a while! I am a Canadian lawyer and have practiced some immigration law. Email me if you have any particular questions. I am sure I can help you navigate! <a href="mailto:kristenrudderham@yahoo.ca">kristenrudderham@yahoo.ca</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126593 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:21:41 +0000 bella 126593@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Why don't you get married? I know it seems silly to get married for bureaucratic reasons. However, I have many many friends (from various countries) who had been together for a long time and finally got married because it made their immigration process (and not only to the US but to European countries as well) so much simpler. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126486 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 02:51:18 +0000 medusa 126486@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ele, I had a similar question to Ana's - could you work with an immigration lawyer or immigration consultant (does such a thing exist?) to get help with everything? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126448 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:42:50 +0000 Ele 126448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for all the support, everyone. I feel a bit better about the whole thing today, and also a little guilty for being so whiny about this yesterday. I know that many people, including some of you, have been in much more difficult situations! Bella, travel must be a nightmare for you, and Isabel- I can't believe your story! How horrible for you. Angie, I can't imagine doing this as many times as you and Greg have, you're pros! </p> <p>Ana, that's great that you and your husband were able to get help from a charity. I think for us, it's more a question of processing times than actually confusing forms. Though I might consider it in the future- the difficult (after we get everything together, of course) part for us is "proving" our relationship to the authorities. We're common-law and not married, so have to have loads of photos, letters, joint bills, etc. They want things like ticket stubs from trips we took to visit each other, which is annoying since we've been together for 7.5 years! I'm a shedder and not a hoarder- like I keep junk around that long! </p> <p>The thing is, until recently Andrew and I were loving life here in the UK. Then, all of a sudden, it hit us both- we just feel like we're done here, and ready for a new chapter. I wish we'd had some warning, because it's looking like another year before we can act on that feeling!</p> <p>Fiona, you're right and that's one of the reasons I love YLF so much! So many nationalities and points of view keeps things interesting </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126438 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:16:18 +0000 londonkiwi (now back in NZ) 126438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is it just me or is YFL extremely multi-national in that a lot of people seem to be from one place and living in another... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126400 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:22:51 +0000 Debora 126400@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear about your immigration troubles! I don't have any suggestions, but I'm sending you hugs and support instead. Hang in there and it will be worth it in the end. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126371 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 13:18:25 +0000 Ana 126371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ele, is there a charity organization that can help you fill out the paperwork for less than a lawyer would cost? When my husband and I got married, I tried doing all the paperwork myself. I felt pretty confident I could do it, I mean, I had drawn up my own divorce papers and presented them to a judge for my first marriage. However, when it came to ALL the stuff you need to do in order to immigrate, I was very overwhelmed. B is from Britain too, so his process was "straight forward," (I was told) since all his documentation was already in English, etc. Plus, the people on the phone at the USCIS are not helpful, AT ALL. Grr!! Anyway, B and I ended up getting a recommendation to Catholic Charities to help us with our paperwork. It cost $175 for the whole process. It was all the money we had at the time, but it was so worth it. It was a relief just to know that our paperwork was filled out correctly and everything we needed was attached. The person who helped us was not a lawyer, just a very knowledgeable Legal Aide type person. B and I are not Catholic and they helped us anyway, and for that I'll always be really grateful. Do they have an organization like that where you are? Or it might possibly be worth it to find a legal aide or someone who knows about the process who can just look over your paperwork and make sure everything looks good for a reduced fee. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126363 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 11:21:35 +0000 londonkiwi (now back in NZ) 126363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep! You should see the wad of paper my husband and I have currently so that we can apply for permanent residencey in the UK in a couple of months time. I have had friends have to return in NZ for 6 months while they apply for an extension on their visa in the UK. No country makes immigration easy for anyone because of course it is a political hot potato! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126277 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:29:22 +0000 LoP 126277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not fun! How do I know? I might have done that a few times... But it is worth it in the end. Just having the choice to live in different places is something. Hang in there! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126273 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:17:16 +0000 Isabel 126273@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hang in there Ele ! Though I personally didn't have to go through all the paperwork to move ( my parents did ), I went through all the paperwork to become an American citizen.</p> <p>I filed all my paperwork and paid much money and for years heard nothing...then someone told me they couldn't find my paperwork. ( The rest of my family didn't have much of a problem - though it was lengthy ). So they made me wait another 2 years to refile and pay again ( because though the check had been cashed, the-then INS had no idea where the money had gone ! ) Then 9-11 happened and everything came to a grinding halt for four years. There's more, but I will spare you - since you have enough of your own !!! ( And I was from a "friendly" country - an ally ! )</p> <p>I am with you in spirit !!!!!!!! Spew all you want ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126270 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:06:13 +0000 bella 126270@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, at least you are both citizens of first world countries. Think of all those who apply from other countries.<br /> I have to jump through hoops every time I want to travel abroad, just to get a lousy visa, let alone immigration. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126260 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:18:49 +0000 Angie 126260@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You and your sweetie have my empathy. Wait till you have to fill out your tax returns in two different countries! Things get very complex. </p> <p>We have moved to live and work in other countries many times and the bureaucratic process is very stressful. Especially the one here in the USA. Just keep your wits about you and take it one item list at a time. We will be here to help you keep your chin up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126253 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:11:56 +0000 Vani 126253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Ele, don't give up already! I completely empathize. Immigrating has become very, very painful in the last few years. I think U.K. and the U.S. are the worst offenders, but of course, not without reason.</p> <p>I've been dealing with immigration procedures for the last 10 years and have had to suffer through many unreasonably frustrating processes. You will need to develop a thick skin and just push through everything taking it one day, heck, one form at a time. Hang in there! It will all be worth it in the end </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126252 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 20:10:06 +0000 Anonymous 126252@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That sounds amazingly terrible.<br /> I don't know, but possibly countries are somewhat afraid of immigrants these days.<br /> You really do have my sympathy though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126247 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:56:54 +0000 chewyspaghetti 126247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't give up. Things that are worth it are hard to do </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-rant-immigrating-sucks#post-126244 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:52:13 +0000 Ele 126244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Excuse the OT and the less-than-ladylike language, but I'm hoping some of the YLF ladies who've ever moved from one country to another will back me up on this sentiment </p> <p>My boyfriend and I are starting the process of immigrating to Canada; me sponsoring him as my common-law partner so that he can become a permanent resident. I say "starting" but really we've been talking about it, and dragging our heels, for months now. All the forms, documentation and background checks are enough to make your head spin- so long and confusing. Part of the problem is that the same bunch of forms are used for loads of different instances (sponsoring your spouse, an adopted child, a conjugal partner) so it's up to us to figure out which forms/questions apply to us, and which don't. </p> <p>I'm generally pretty smart about these things, but half an hour with these forms makes my head feel like it's full of molasses! I swear they're not even written in English, but rather "bureaucratic speak", designed to make everything 100x more confusing than it needs to be. Every time it seems we're getting a little closer, some other issue comes up and makes us feel right back at square one. </p> <p>Today's kick in the teeth is the police clearance forms. I've just discovered that Andrew will need two, one from the UK (standard- can do it locally and has a 10-day processing time) and one from Canada, as he lived there for more than six months during his gap year(s). For that one, he has to have fingerprints taken here, which are then sent to Canada, where it will take 120 DAYS to process them! And that's not even the whole application- just one lousy form out of many! </p> <p>Honestly, it cannot have been nearly this difficult when my grandparents immigrated 60 years ago. I feel like giving up </p>