https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:10:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-594121 Thu, 12 Apr 2012 06:34:01 +0000 ManidipaM 594121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Even if off-topic, thanks for those links, Andrea! </p> <p>I've heard trainers spout those all my life, and have been worried whether family members were making training mistakes and confusing pups in our home by not establishing dominance! Thankfully, our family mostly had easy-going (if loud and rambunctious) Labs and Retrievers of assorted mixed pedigree, though I was especially worried about the effects on a Dobermann, a couple of Alsatians and a nervous Pom rescued from a bad home. </p> <p>As for friendly dogs suddenly biting, one of our Alsatians actually did nip my dad once, when she was feeling quite moody after a recent separation from her first litter --- and then stayed a little 'bitey' with everyone for a long time. One learnt to approach fairly carefully... but it was a worry for gentle Elsa to suddenly go a little wolf on us! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593882 Thu, 12 Apr 2012 01:16:58 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 593882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Donna, I realize I am going off topic here but I feel I must comment, being a professional dog trainer. The whole act like alpha/be dominant stuff is completely false so you are NOT missing anything. Dominance Theory was developed after two, two-week-long studies done on captive wolves (**not dogs**) in unnatural groupings - not "packs" (aka family units) - back in the 1940's. The conclusions drawn were way off the mark.</p> <p>Yes, there are certain well known TV trainers that have re-popularized these ideas and they are sexy so many people latched on and never gave them up. But you are not missing out on anything.</p> <p>Some links if you're interested: <a href="http://www.avsabonline.org/avsabonline/images/stories/Position_Statements/dominance%20statement.pdf"> American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior's position statement on Dominance Theory</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.sfspca.org/sites/default/files/reconsidering-dominance.pdf">Reconsidering Dominance Model in Training</a> by Jean Donaldson </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593867 Thu, 12 Apr 2012 01:01:24 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 593867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This might sound rude, but personally I just wouldn't have the child over. If asked, I would probably recommend a professional.</p> <p>I deal with these sorts of things all the time - in pets. We typically employ desensitization and counter-conditioning techniques as well as teaching the animal an alternative behavior. For instance, I work with many dogs that are "reactive" - they have a big, often seen as aggressive, reaction to the sight of people or other dogs. So we work "under threshold" and D&amp;C to the presence of the trigger and also teach the dog to do something else. IOW, rather than freaking out about the other dog, look at your handler. We do a few other things too but that's the base.</p> <p>As far as guests go, I figure my dogs live here. If people don't like dogs, are allergic to dogs, or whatever, this is not a good place for them. I am happy to visit other people. Perhaps that makes me a bad hostess but there you go. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593774 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 23:15:36 +0000 catgirl 593774@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Carole, WHAT? The only time our dog ever nipped (our first dog) we found out two days later she had cancer and had to put her down. She was clearly in pain and also old. Your poor friend! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593771 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 23:13:21 +0000 Carole 593771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not to add fuel to the fire, but a dear friend of mine shows up at art class yesterday with her face looking puffy and heavily made-up. I noticed a few little bruises and a couple little scabs, I thought she had a bout of adult acne like me! But she says "did you notice my face today" Scooter" her insy winsy miniature poodle bit her upper lip. She turned it inside out and it was so very red and swollen. She is the biggest animal lover in the world and has had this pup for almost 10 years.....I guess you never know. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593680 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 21:15:13 +0000 Isabel 593680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with all the ladies that stated that you just never know what will provoke a dog...especially if someone is hysterical around their owners. Our dog, a 78lb lab is a very friendly, good natured dog. But when one of my daughter's friends ( who is 9 ) had a meltdown at our house and my daughter went to comfort her, our dog flipped. I think that he thought the child was attacking my daughter. Luckily I grabbed him before he jumped on her.</p> <p>WIth that said, children can suffer allot of anxiety. This child could even be on the autism spectrum. I would suggest that you crate your dog so that she feels comfortable and that she "visit" him in the crate. Or take her to an animal shelter where she can get some exposure but feel very comfortable. This is a tough one.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593667 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 20:58:08 +0000 Anonymous 593667@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>True Rachylou, tell me about it. My four year old nephew bit me to pieces last weekend and then told me "to keep it between us" because he thought "I was (a piece of) chicken" LOL.<br /> In all seriousness though, we all know that dog bites can inflict a lot of damage, especially in a small child. We have always been really cautious around small kids, with all family pets. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593543 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:24:57 +0000 DonnaF 593543@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So you WILL have this little girl over a weekend? I know this may be farfetched, but maybe you could observe her for signs of an allergy to dogs and cats -- on the theory that possibly her body is trying to tell her something. After over ten years of allergy shots, I still react allergically to cats and some dogs even after taking antihistamines. I am okay for an hour or maybe two, then my system is overwhelmed even if the pets are not in the room since their dander is still around. At this point, my symptoms are not particularly overt; I just can't breathe and feel pretty crappy. If Kona has such symptoms, you would probably have to ask her since you wouldn't necessarily see them.</p> <p>Another thing that was mentioned here that struck me as a non- dog/cat owner: Maybe she could be coached on the meaning of certain animal behaviors and what to look for. You or your son might watch YouTube animal videos with her; pause it and talk about what you saw. For example, I never knew that dog owners are supposed to act like alpha dogs and have their pet assume a submissive position or even what a submissive position looked like. </p> <p>I am not a therapist, nor should I pretend to be one. My big fear when I was little was big white guys with booming voices, as I was a little Asian girl with a 5' 4" or maybe 5' 5" dad with a typical light Asian voice. (In the 1950s, I saw mostly SAHMs and was rarely exposed to the dads.) The worst were those department store Santas. They weren't dressed like *normal* people. And clowns. They weren't predictable, looked weird, and were big. Those *Occupy* masks still bring out a visceral fear in me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593529 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:00:13 +0000 Carole 593529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm afraid of snakes, mice, rats, bats, spiders, anything that moves quicky and surprises me. I am also very disturbed and afraid of anything in clusters, ants, bees, rhizomes (I know that one is weird) I was traumatized as a child by a swarm of ants I couldnt get away from. Who knows what makes people nuts about certain things when they are obviously not threatening. I don't believe in catering to irrational behavior, but being sensitive to someone's feelings is important too. I can't imagine anyone being afraid of your darling Kona, hopefully over time her fears will diminish. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593528 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:59:24 +0000 Patty 593528@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A tough spot--animals (pets) are like to magnets to fears and allergies.</p> <p>(I can still remember the reaction of an elderly lady friend sitting at our crowded kitchen table with a bunch of other elderly visiting family. Our cat brushed up against her feet and she jumped up on the table yelling CAT then scrambled down on her chair and ran out the back door. ) (sometimes it's worth having a cat LOL) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593516 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:43:18 +0000 catgirl 593516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cathy, very wise indeed. Your fairy story just brought a tear or two to my eye... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593512 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:41:23 +0000 cciele 593512@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, you are so kind to be concerned about your friends' child! I agree that if she can get over her animal fears that her adult life will go more smoothly (especially in animal-friendly locales).</p> <p>However, one thing that most adults and parents (myself included) is to not give children the benefit of the doubt. As adults, we think we know better or how the child should be acting. But they have their own complex, experimental thought processes. For example, you find out the real reason why your daughter always leaves her shoes untied after you've told her a thousand times to tie her shoes and you think she's doing it to be obstinate, and then you discover that she believes by leaving her shoes untied a fairy will come and tie them and she really wanted to see a fairy--that presents a new perspective on her behavior.</p> <p>That's not to say adults should not guide children through life. It's just to realize that a lazy lump of a cat to an adult can be a fantastical monster to the child. Not logical, but the child's experience is real. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593501 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:35:01 +0000 catgirl 593501@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae and Kyle, good point! I don't think her parents are over-coddly, but they definitely do what they can to minimize the impact of her behavior on others by catering to her reactions (picking her up or moving her to another place) which I think any parent would do in a social situation.</p> <p>I once had a person at a playground ask if my son and I would leave the park with Kona (who was lying at my feet leashed under a picnic table) because her child was so scared he could not play when a dog was in his sight. Now THAT is craziness! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593498 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:31:29 +0000 rae 593498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kyle makes a great point about how parents can reinforce the behaviour. </p> <p>Even if the child is NOT doing it for attention (hey, that may be it, but who knows?), when adults drop everything to coo and comfort her, it reinforces the idea that there *is something to be comforted about* - if that makes sense. Kind of like when a kid gets a minor bump and the parents have a choice to either laugh it off or gasp and oh-no like the sky is falling... the kids usually take the cue from their parents to decide whether the situation is a big deal or not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593448 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:50:38 +0000 Aziraphale 593448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I second what you say, Rachylou. Dogs are ubiquitous (in North American society at least) so we should all learn how to behave around them. However, if you didn't grow up with one, chances are you're not familiar with canine body language, and if that's the case, it's easy to misinterpret friendly exuberant behaviour and even barking for aggression. Throw in a child's small size and you can see why they might panic! My own four-year-old son, who has always lived with a small, friendly dog, is still a little nervous around strange dogs -- especially young ones that bounce around unpredictably and try to lick his face/chew his fingers. That's totally normal puppy behaviour, but still! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593427 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:24:54 +0000 rachylou 593427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zapotee is right: all dogs bite. And so do all children. If provoked.</p> <p>But that's the rub, people don't know what is provoking or not. I rather think that everyone should learn how to behave around animals, because animals are integral to human society.</p> <p>Btw, it's provoking of a person to move straight at an animal. Especially with dogs, polite behavior is to pause, to show friendliness and respect, and to give the other (the dog) a chance to say "No, stay away from me." There is thiscrazy lady who JOGS through our off-leash DOG PARK. She, of course, never even slows when coming up on dogs... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593356 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 15:01:27 +0000 Elly 593356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have any real advice other than her parents need to take this seriously. I've never been to Alaska, but the dog-heavy culture sounds very much like Colorado where you can't walk down the street or go to many shops without encountering dogs. Growing up with a phobia of dogs would not just mean asking friends to put their dogs up when visiting their homes, but could be similarly disruptive to having agoraphobia or phobias about people to being out in public. Also, it could be quite an issue if someone at school or on a plane ever has a service dog. If the kid doesn't grow out of this quick I could see it becoming a huge issue that needs a lot of work or therapy. Otherwise, it is possible that if she is just screaming and crying and not truly terror-stricken it could be an attention issue or a fear that is now being milked for attention.</p> <p>Bad experience or not, kids should be taught that dogs are like people. You are cautious of "strangers" but you need to be kind and tolerant of people (or dogs) that your parents determine are OK or safe. It is not appropriate to scream unless someone is trying to hurt you or steal you. It can also cause animals to attack. Living in Alaska I would assume that her parents would encourage this anyway, since it is a bad idea to scream at bears, especially grizzlies. </p> <p>It is just bad form to allow a neurotypical child to scream indoors unless they are in serious danger, and uncontrollable fears need to be worked on with therapy. My own father has hearing loss/damage and finds high pitched screaming (like that of a child) horribly painful and it can cause lasting pain and tinnitus for him. A lot of older men have this problem and kids can definitely cause animals pain as well. </p> <p>I was bitten by a dog in the face as a small child ( 4 or 5? and it was one of my very first experiences with dogs) and the bite was unprovoked. I've also been chased and knocked down and have dealt with doggy aggression and subsequently bitten by other dogs. </p> <p>People absolutely have reason to be intimidated or fearful of dogs who are unruly, aggressive, or unfamiliar and unleashed. However, beyond training dogs not to jump or bite or run unaccompanied it becomes the issue of the person that does not like dogs to either avoid them at their own inconvenience or tolerate them and if the fear is that great of an issue that they can't tolerate the presence of a well behaved animal it probably should be something they need to work on with therapy. </p> <p>Allergies are a different deal. I would consider putting up my dogs if someone with bad allergies was visiting my home to help them avoid as much contact with danger and fur as possible (i.e. the puppy touching them or sitting near them). I would also consider putting my dogs up if they were acting inappropriately or jumped on people or in the case of a large dog if I was afraid they might accidentally bump someone with an injury or a balance issue (someone elderly, for example). My dogs are trained to avoid being underfoot, but if there was someone that might easily trip and fall if they didn't see my small dog (a balance or sight issue) I would consider crating him. </p> <p>I personally do not like cats (one of the only animals that creep me out) and have been bitten or scratched several times with no real reason. I would not expect anyone to lock away their cat unless the cat insisted on touching me and then acting aggressively. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593192 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 11:45:09 +0000 Anonymous 593192@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wish I had more time to comment, but I just wanted to tell you to be careful. I had the most gentle, loving dog growing up and I had a friend, just like the child you are describing. One day, my dog got so nervous with her screaming off the top of her lungs that he actually attacked her. I am telling you, you will not see a more mellow dog in your entire life. Fortunately, the story had a happy ending and my dog only scratched her in one ear. We are still friends and she no longer fears animals. You should also tell her parents to be careful. Animals, especially dogs, get very nervous and will attack out of fear, no matter how gentle. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593141 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 06:13:39 +0000 ManidipaM 593141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking uneasy truce is likely to be the best you can hope for under the circumstances --- phobias, as I'm sure you realize yourself, are not easy to cure in 'rational' ways; irrational fear that is *not* an outright phobia is. Hard to distinguish sometimes, though, even for medical professionals --- and especially at this young age.</p> <p>And this is my cue to confess, with great embarrassment, that I've not taken a shower in two days because... there is an eency-weency little spider sitting in a corner of the tub. It's spindly grey and a little bigger than my thumbnail. Now, I'm scared of spiders. I no longer scream in terror or leave the room altogether (that would be very problematic, this being the bathroom), but I *cannot* muster up the courage to shoo poor spidey out of the tub, lest she decide to run up my arm or something. </p> <p>You can now christen me Miss Muffet, but what I'm trying to point out is that I live in a house quite lively with spiders, geckoes and other insects --- and proximity has not entirely cured me. At best, I can do the dishes *knowing* there is a spider or three under the sink --- but I remain antsy and ready to bolt at a moment's notice. Cockroaches and geckoes get the same reaction from my SO, but don't bother me in the slightest! So Jack Sprat etc.) </p> <p>So again, with your niece, you're likely best off ensuring distance and calm between canine and child --- until she has enough of a grip to at least not scream or shiver uncontrollably.</p> <p>As for *why* she's scared, that's maybe something to try asking her. Though of course if it's a far enough memory, she won't really know. I used to howl at the sight of my grandmother as an infant (of all things! much to my other grandma's great distress!); and then froze and screeched at the sight of two of my uncle's friends (no connection between them, nice people both, and I have no idea why --- though I suspect it *could* be that they looked like a couple of other people each, and I had once been unintentionally 'tricked' into going away for a walk by the river with my favourite uncle's identical twin, realizing I had the wrong bloke carrying me only when I saw the right twin!) </p> <p>Fears often are irrational and unfathomable, even when not uncontrollable phobias. Mine, of spiders, began as just a general fear of creepy-crawlies and turned into full-blown panic only after my Dad got bitten by a venomous one in Australia (we never saw it, and it only gave him a sore and swollen toe for a long time). Interestingly, I have no issues with the radioactive spider biting Spiderman --- so I guess my brain is rational enough to recognize 'not a threat to self, so don't panic yet'!</p> <p>Good luck to you, to Kona and the kid arriving at an understanding! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals/page/2#post-593118 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 05:14:20 +0000 catgirl 593118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, absolutely! Our dog IS big and she looks a bit like an anorexic wolf. However, the cat is also a source of terror, despite being fat and practically immobile, so it can't be just about size. Thank you all for the great suggestions, and please feel free to continue discussing as you see fit! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-593116 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 05:11:06 +0000 Gaylene 593116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm just trying to imagine how a dog looks from the viewpoint of a 6 year-old child. Large head, big teeth, hairy face-- and all at eye level. Add in a dash of phobia and no wonder the child starts screaming. And I have a hard time seeing how forcing someone in that state into closer proximity with the dog, regardless of how gentle the animal was, would help overcome that fear.</p> <p>While fears can be irrational, the emotions are real. Letting her know that you understand dogs frighten her and that no one will force her to get close to the dog might help her cope with her emotions when she visits. Point out that your house is Kona's home and ask her how she can visit Kona's home without getting scared. And maybe the best you can hope for is an uneasy truce between your beloved pet and your almost "niece". Some people never overcome their phobias about mice or snakes or spiders or dogs, but that doesn't mean that they can't eventually figure out how to co-exist with the creatures. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-593115 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 05:08:44 +0000 Kyle 593115@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very tough call. I think you have been very accommodating. I was faced with a similar situation some years ago. I realize that this sounds insensitive, but it was my sense at the time that the freaking out over the dog was a way to get attention, and the parents were reinforcing the behavior, big time. Every time she cried or threw a fit, about anything (not just the dog) mom and dad came running and all focus was on her. So our gentle, elderly dog spent several days banished to the garage, in deference to my houseguests, and the 6-year old called the shots about virtually everything. Interestingly, the very well behaved older boy received very little attention from mom and dad. </p> <p>The dog is part of your family and is clearly not a threat. If I were the parent I would give the child a choice. 1. Stay home with a babysitter when others go to your house. 2. Be part of the visit without throwing a fit about the dog. No once is forcing her to do something that causes her distress, and no one is asking you to disrupt your home and routine to accommodate her. Visiting and having a melt down or banishing the dog would not be an acceptable option. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-593105 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 04:50:29 +0000 jayne 593105@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>he he loving this thread! you gals are so insightful and wise and have differing opinions which I LOVE!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-593064 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 03:44:00 +0000 Anonymous 593064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww thanks guys! I just looked at the calendar and realized I'm entering the "raging hormone" phase of the month, which can make me a little irrational, too! </p> <p>Una, I feel so sorry for you! Your friend is putting you in a tough position. DH and I just talked about this on our walk. Even if the little girl has never had an actual negative experience with an animal, traditional "big bad wolf" nursery stories (complete with scary pictures) might have already done the damage. Plus who knows what she's seen accidentally on TV or online? </p> <p>It would be asking a LOT to have you watch her for the weekend, as you'll essentially have to be her therapist or you'll have to take Kona to a kennel. That's like someone dropping off their 2 year old and asking you to potty train them. Above your pay grade, I'd say! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-593007 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 02:36:24 +0000 catgirl 593007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Claire, I totally understand how you feel, especially about out-of-control dogs. I have pepper-sprayed charging dogs on the trail to protect myself, my kid, AND my dog. Being afraid of a leaping, barking, growling or charging dog is absolutely rational. But Kona is the timidest, gentlest dog ever. This is what makes it a phobia - it's an *irrational* fear. And I think phobias have to be dealt with differently than fears, as you can't just explain them away with logic. </p> <p>This is a good friend, and I consider this child a niece of sorts. Maybe talking to her directly about broader solutions would be the best thing, so I don't have to feel bad for both the girl and the dog every time they come up. My friend just called and asked if we could watch her daughter on Saturday - when I mentioned the dog issue, she said "Oh, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." I don't want to be the bad guy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-592997 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 02:27:44 +0000 Aziraphale 592997@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Claire, I'm sorry...now I feel bad for being so strident! Of course I do sympathize with people who are nervous around animals (and some dogs and cats DO bite), and an off-leash dog that jumps all over strangers is in dire need of some serious training. That's never acceptable! Owners need to take responsibility. (Very few dogs come reliably when called because it takes very careful and consistent training to accomplish that skill. It doesn't take a dog very long to figure out that it's a lot faster than you. But if you're letting it off leash, it MUST come when called). And dog lover though I am, I just cringe when you visit someone's house and their huge, hairy, drooling golden retriever knocks you over in its joyful attempt to welcome you into its home. Again, owners need to invest some time and energy into training. </p> <p>But being nervous around wild, loud, out-of-control dogs is one thing; being irrationally afraid of a polite dog that is NOT jumping or barking is something else. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-592963 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 01:47:51 +0000 Anonymous 592963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have never considered myself to have an irrational fear of animals, but this post is giving me heart palpitations, seriously! </p> <p>I was raised in a quiet home with no animals. I had a cat for a while, but my mother took it back to the pound because I wasn't being responsible enough with it (I as in the fourth grade). *trauma* </p> <p>I was bitten my a dog on the beach as young child, but I don't remember that much about it.</p> <p>Try to imagine not knowing ANYTHING about dogs and their behavior (this is likely the mindset of your friend's child). It always seemed like such a vain promise when I would visit a home with a large, barking dog and the owner would assure me, "Oh, he won't hurt you!" all the while grabbing at his collar as the dog choked and scratched to get to me, salivating at the thought of how I would taste! </p> <p>Many times dogs jump up on me, scratching me with their claws while their master says benignly, "Down, down." but not doing anything to *make* the dog get off me. I have had my clothes snagged and soiled and the owners just laugh it off. I try to be a good sport about it, but it does raise my blood pressure! Even though I've watched a bit of the Dog Whisperer when we briefly had that channel I cannot understand what a dog's intentions are when he lunges at me. He is not smiling and cannot talk, after all, so are my fears irrational? I try to be calm and not care if he eats me for breakfast, because I can't show fear after all, right? They can't be allowed to smell my nervous perspiration or it will be all. over. </p> <p>Last summer I was riding my bike at dusk when out of nowhere, a pitbull came charging at my ankles. His owner was walking him off leash and called to him (but they never listen!). I decided to just stop my bike and hand him the salt and pepper. Now I know that pitbulls are no more vicious than other breeds, unless they are trained to be that way. Even though I was secretly scared witless (and that other word that rhymes with witless, TYVM), I stopped and got down to his level and offered an open hand to sniff. I figured he would make me wreck if I didn't stop. I've blanked out most of the memory, but it must have turned out okay because I'm still alive to tell the story, lol!</p> <p>I'm always mortified when I go to someone's house and their dog sniffs my crotch or humps my leg. Really? Does this mean I have an irrational fear of dogs? I'm sure getting a dog would cure all of this, but I really don't want one, any more than some people don't want children. I really don't hate them. I find them (especially puppies) extremely cute and cuddly. Some people I know crate their dogs when the doorbell rings. This might not be fair to the dog, but I feel very respected when I visit these homes. I enjoy meeting gentle dogs and petting them, and I can see why they are such good companions. </p> <p>Wow, sorry for the rant. Perhaps I need counselling, too! Anyway, maybe your friend's child has had some experience that the parents don't know about? I just wanted to give you a different perspective. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-592919 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:55:11 +0000 lyn* 592919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Late to convo - but I read that about the tiny holes. I have the same fear. I have shivers just thinking about it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-592904 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:37:23 +0000 Aziraphale 592904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've read through the replies here again (there are quite a few more since I replied this morning!) and I feel I have a few more things to add.</p> <p>Una, in your situation specifically, if this friend is a good friend, and it sounds like she is, you can probably discuss with her what strategy she would feel comfortable with. If the two of you want to keep getting together at your house, something needs to be done to address the situation, because I don't think it's fair to lock up your sweet, well-behaved dog, and in the long run doing so will not do the phobic child any favours. Claudia is right; animal-phobic kids become animal targets, and besides that, if this child cannot be taught to tolerate animals, how many friends' houses will be off-limits to her? Hopefully her mother recognizes what a big deal this is. How many people do you know with at least one dog or cat?</p> <p>I'm not saying that kids must tolerate a badly behaved dog leaping all over the place and knocking them over. This is understandably upsetting, and the dog owner needs to train their dog not to do that! But children do need to learn to be in the presence of a dog without screaming hysterically. It's an incredibly inconvenient phobia that needs to be addressed. Your fear of honeycombs, however out-of-left-field it may be, isn't going to upset your life or anyone else's much. Domestic animal phobias do. </p> <p>In our house, locking up the dog is not an option for the simple reason that she barks and howls and disturbs the whole neighbourhood if you put her outside (or in a separate room) by herself! We have tried all kinds of things, even hired a dog trainer, and we can't get her to stop doing that. She's otherwise quiet and well behaved -- in fact she mostly just sits around, being quite old. So we don't lock her up. Nervous kids have to get over it, or not come over. Luckily we've only ever had two such kids. </p> <p>And Jayne: I respectfully disagree with you. That guy who the severe cat allergy who was annoyed that you did not stock antihistamines....WHAAAAT? He's a grown up and needs to take responsibility for his own health. If his allergy is serious enough that he had to miss several days of work, it's serious enough that he should carry around his own medication (and possibly an epi pen). I too am very allergic to cats, so if I'm going to a home that has cats (I always ask before going), I take my own damn antihistamines. Sheesh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-fear-of-animals#post-592814 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 21:30:06 +0000 rachylou 592814@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Um. If you're severely allergic, you really really need to carry your own epi pin. You can walk into a restaurant and sit down one table over from a pet owner and kabam. Severe allergies are too unusual for everyone else to be prepared. Schools don't even have automatic defibrillators... </p>