https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:52:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597513 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:57:28 +0000 Heather 597513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK, you have the inner drive and you want this for you! This is the hardest part for anyone to grasp! You got this!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597497 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:31:22 +0000 Aida 597497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>/highfive to already making progress, and /doublehighfive to dropping the crazy program and doing things more healthyly! Boo to hubby, but I'm sure he'll come around eventually. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597154 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 16:33:59 +0000 ironkurtin 597154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You ladies are a delight. Thanks so much for the support! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597125 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 16:02:24 +0000 catgirl 597125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am relieved you are no longer doing this program - it sounded a little scary to me and I know there will be better opportunities for you. So proud of you for doing the smart thing AND getting your money back.</p> <p>As for DH, a big GRRRRR to him. Is he is prime condition himself? Is he highly competitive and thinking that negative feedback will somehow motivate you? Or just talking out of body parts that shouldn't be talking? I'm sure you're not going to take that kind of comment lightly, and I wouldn't either. </p> <p>I know my DH doesn't always like that our eating habits are different, but he knows better than to say anything since he knows I'm making better choices than him. I never nag him about it or make negative comments to him, though... why demoralize someone that way, especially someone you love? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597107 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:42:52 +0000 Carole 597107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry that you are having to deal with this when you are obviously committed and trying so hard. I know it probably doesn't help to say this but it's DH's problem. Don't be discourage, I'm so impressed with your accomplishments so far and your committment to keep going in spite of some of the hurdles thrown in your path. Keep up the good work and talk to us, DH will come around. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597085 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:03:47 +0000 Meredith1953 597085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My DH was somewhat resistant to making som3 dietary changes (I insisted he start paying attention to saturated fat in food. Now he really supportive of it and takes pride in finding a new product that is has less fat or no saturated fat to substitute for other products. He has always been supportive of my exercising on the tread mill and weight training. If your hubby sees how you can make this work for yourself in a reasonable and sustainable way he will surely be proud of you! He is probably just a little skeptical right now. He will come around and start praising you when he sees your determination! GO IK!!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597063 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 14:05:17 +0000 kellygirl 597063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kudos to you for taking control of the situation. Sorry about DH. Let us be your cheering squad. Go, IK! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged/page/2#post-597051 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:43:34 +0000 morethanbeige 597051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with others in that you are evolving your fitness routine. It has to work for you and not endanger. Congrats on all the hard work you have put in to this. Keep going! You can do it!</p> <p>Sometimes with my DH, if he sees me upset, he will get mad. And that feels like he is not supporting me. If I take care of myself and show him I'm ok and working to help myself, he will be proud of my changes.</p> <p>No matter what, we are supporting you!!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-597029 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:44:59 +0000 ButterflyLady 597029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, IK, you've done well - to lose weight and inches AND to realise that it wasn't healthy/sustainable for you. And you got your money back! I see no quitting!</p> <p>I have no advice on your DH - the minds of men are a mystery to me! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596868 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 02:40:04 +0000 Fruitful 596868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK, you've done amazingly and made a smart decision. The calorie limit you were on sounded unorthodox and unsustainable to me.</p> <p>I'm sure you have your online support groups in place but if not I highly recommend Makeupalley Fitness Board - the women are both down to earth and hardcore, it's a very encouraging place to hang out: <a href="http://www.makeupalley.com/board/board.asp?bid=9" rel="nofollow">http://www.makeupalley.com/board/board.asp?bid=9</a> you have to log in to see entire posts though. Heaps of info and moral support. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596841 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 01:30:38 +0000 Deborah 596841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK I really admire you for putting in what it takes to get fit and healthy. I wish I had your commitment. Do not be discouraged, hang in there as I have no doubt you will be very pleased with the end result. I am sorry you DH hasn't noticed the changes yet, but I bet he will. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596833 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:59:24 +0000 Jaime 596833@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha! Good for you for getting your money back! That program sounded very extreme and although it gave you a great jumpstart, it didn't sound like a long haul plan. Without knowing you or your DH I am guessing that he might be a in a grouchy/bad mood about something that has nothing to do with you. My DH is generally very supportive, but it absolutely clueless about certain aspects of being a woman, such as noticing small weight changes. But use your annoyed energy to show him by sticking to your new plan and getting into even greater shape! (At least that is what I would do, plus possibly buy clothes with the refund as suggested about - but I am childish that way!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596812 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:06:39 +0000 Suz 596812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Somehow I missed the part about getting your money back. In my books, that doesn't make you a "quitter." It makes you one smart, determined gal!! I love what Mochi said. "An evolver." </p> <p>Rae, at this time they run the program twice a year, January and July start dates. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596785 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 22:21:12 +0000 bj1111 596785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>boys can be stoooopid dodo heads. srly, 6# AND 2". in normal people universe, this is NOT how quitters behave. i would be high fiving you for realizing the unsustainability of the old regimen. money back? you are officially promoted to hero status.</p> <p>just keep on keepin' on...la la la, i'm just working on my tight bod the "quitter" way...la la la. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596720 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:41:54 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 596720@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a tendency to always defend people and I am forcing myself to not do so this time. I am sure you are fully aware of all of the wonderful qualities your husband has since you married him and kept him.</p> <p>I read your whole post and what jumped out at me was that you lost 6 lbs and 2". You deserve a huge congratulations. That is a great accomplishment and takes a lot of willpower and effort. Good for you. In case no one in proximity takes the time to do so, please pat yourself on the back for me. Well done IK!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596712 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:31:10 +0000 Transcona Shannon 596712@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Got your money back? Good for you IK!<br /> I for one am glad you're not doing that program anymore. 1200 calories per day while working out is nowhere near enough to be healthy. I'm all for your weight and body goals but they need to be achieved in a healthy way.<br /> As for what makes men tick, I'll let you know if I ever figure it out (lol)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596691 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:10:22 +0000 christieanne 596691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good for you in realizing you weren't going to be successful at the gym/program you had signed up for. I suppose that's why the contracts give us 30 day "out" clauses and I am glad you realized you weren't getting good training. </p> <p>You can always tell your former trainer that you want to step up your former program and really work hard. Trainers should be able to mix things up to keep you challenged or take it easy for injuries, etc. Your success is their success after all. </p> <p>As far as DH - who knows what makes men tick. Frustrating for you now though. Sometimes it seems like any change is bad for men whether it's positive or not, they just like the status quo. Seems like if you are happy with new process he will get used to it. </p> <p>Keep it going! </p> <p>Oh Joy - your poor friend - that sounds like a very non supportive (and borderline emotionally damaging?) situation for your friend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596678 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:45:46 +0000 Anonymous 596678@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Be careful what you wish for. A friend's DH notices every tiny change in her body and is constantly nagging her when we eat out not to eat lots of things because they will make her "puffy' tomorrow. She gets very discouraged with herself and her body because of this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596644 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:45:23 +0000 Jenava 596644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wait, he actually called you a quitter??? Of DH did that to me I'd take the money i got back and buy a bunch of clothes...and still keep the trainer, too! Make the quitting EXTRA quitty. (-: </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596631 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:29:48 +0000 Isis 596631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PS---do not be discouraged if you gain several of the 6 lbs back..... It's very unlikely that those were 6 lbs of fat. To do that you'd have to run a 21,000 calorie deficit ( 6 lbs x 3500 calories/lb of fat), which is not probable in a week. </p> <p>(If you drastically reduced your carbs, you probably depleted muscle glycogen, which binds water.....once you replete the glycogen by eating more normally, the water will come back.....)</p> <p>Here's a great link if you like the nerdly science behind fitness:<br /> <a href="http://sweatscience.runnersworld.com/" rel="nofollow">http://sweatscience.runnersworld.com/</a></p> <p>and older posts at <a href="http://www.sweatscience.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.sweatscience.com</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596629 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:27:55 +0000 mrseccentric 596629@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>" And I got my money back." ha! as my dad would say, how sweet it is!</p> <p>pfft, i know how hard what you're going thru is. I have some big bad health issues, and people are always making ignorant comments and completely misunderstanding my situation (including family, friends, SO). At a certain point i decided i'd rather spend my limited energies on my own interests and health than on getting everyone to understand what i was going thru. I have to admit that with this attitude i have more fun! </p> <p>As yucky as your situation is, that guts that got you to to question the authorities, get your bucks back, and persist in the face of your husband's nastiness will serve you well in years to come and in other areas of your life. Hang in there!!! steph</p> <p>The truth of this world is that it's so very rare for any two people to see things the same way or truly understand another's circumstance. Here in the US i think that too much emphasis is placed on understanding - you can still be supportive and respectful even if you don't grasp every nuance. </p> <p>And you can make positive, healthy, enjoyable changes in your life whether your husband understands or agrees with you or not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596622 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:16:54 +0000 ManidipaM 596622@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kristin's got a great idea with the letter! And especially since you're a writer.</p> <p>Otherwise, just use it to build up a good head of steam and kick butt --- of any and all sub-optimal health habits --- so he's forced to acknowledge your success.</p> <p>Dana, I'm ever so glad you walked out on the 'pro' plan. It did sound miserable-making, and more than a little questionable in its science. This way, hard haul as it is now, it will hopefully mean really 'real' changes at home, and in turn that means the changes will stick --- meaning you're halfway to permanent success.</p> <p>*And* you already know from this experience some of what will NOT work for you and a little of what already has. Take heart from that, do! What you've already achieved is pretty darn phenomenal, though men really do have a harder time *seeing* inch loss I fear. (My quite supportive SO actually *asks* me whether I've lost weight or not, and then says nice things if I say yes --- but he CANNOT REALLY TELL! And of course he'll pout and whine about wanting his favourite foods, high on the empty calories, when he's home --- which screws up my eating habits half the month!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596621 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:14:02 +0000 Isis 596621@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congrats!!!! It's so great that you recognized that the other place was bad and that you got your money back!!!!</p> <p>Hopefully your boy will get off of the quitter-too-much-$-and-time rag.</p> <p>FWIW, my husband would never notice whether I had my wedding ring on.....and, 10 yrs ago, when I lost my pregnancy weight, (about 15-20 lbs, when my "baby" started kindergarden!!!), he also didn't notice! It's just how he is, and I figure he only sees the "real" and inner me, and that's great!!!.....Some guys are just like that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596614 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:55:43 +0000 Kristin L 596614@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First, congrats for loosing weight and inches! </p> <p>I'm sorry you've had these bad vibes all around you. Have you spoken with DH? I know when I get upset and crabby, I don't talk with anyone, I talk TO them. Which means, for me at least, I just go to town being upset and don't listen to the other person. If you're still fuming at DH, which I would be too, have you thought about writing a letter? Just sit down and list out why your upset and say exactly what want you want him to do and know. Then, you can either give it to him or use it as a way to figure out how to talk to DH. </p> <p>And good luck with continuing transformation. You'll do great! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596605 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:15:17 +0000 Scarlet 596605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry that you feel discouraged and that your hard work and smart decisions are not being supported, but I am very glad that you were smart and stuck up for your good health. I think you look great already, but I get you are upping your fitness and I support that too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596600 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:09:19 +0000 Isabel 596600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am going to say YAYYYYY !!! Because you recognized and changed. Many women would have stayed thinking that the "pro" knew better !</p> <p>i am going to make a crazy suggestion : I LOVE the YMCA. THe people that I am working with are trainers and nutritionists. They are non-profit so they have no monetary skin in the game. </p> <p>Good luck !!!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596597 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:04:51 +0000 rae 596597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>UGH. So sorry! My DH has always been supportive of my body stuff... but I've never decided to spend money on it, either. I'm sure he would not understand the need for a trainer. Does he know you got your money back from the other place? :T</p> <p>I signed up for the 5-day crash course from Suz's link... Suz, correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like they only take registration for the lean eating course once a year? But there's lots of good info and recipes and workouts in the crash course alone. I'm going to have to re-start after my back is 100%, but I like their approach. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596593 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:00:14 +0000 Diana 596593@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We'll cheer for you! You can do it!</p> <p>I am glad that you've switched to something more reasonable... sounds like the first place was not focused on the right things at all and it might have even been detrimental for your health. </p> <p>Annoying about DH... but in my experience, men are super un-observant and then they'll notice things ALL OF A SUDDEN. Like, 4 months in, he'll go "OMG you look fantastic! Have you been doing something different?" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596591 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:58:43 +0000 Elly 596591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Get fit, then kick his butt. </p> <p>The other organization was endangering your health. I'm really glad you had the huevos to stand up for yourself . . . and you got your money back!</p> <p>Argh . . . your husband is ticking me off. IDK what it is with the double-standard. I have several men in my life that I have come close to committing bodily harm on recently because they have been "stressed" and therefore cannot function like normal human beings and keep promises or commitments or even communicate why they are treating other people badly but want me to cater to them . . . . but they still have the time and energy to go "blow off steam". Basically it is utter selfishness, which sounds like what is going on. I, however, have more regular stress on a day-to-day basis then them, have health issues, and then have to put up with their dumb butts but don't get to be a huge jerk . . . . ever! The universe owes you IMO!</p> <p>Keep going-- 2" is quite impressive! you have your cheering section! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-discouraged#post-596589 Sun, 15 Apr 2012 16:57:00 +0000 Amy 596589@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you've been having a rough time with this. For what it's worth, I don't see you as a quitter, but a determined gal who is making smart choices. Men can be dumb. Thank goodness for DD! </p>