https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 08 May 2026 17:54:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/3#post-106795 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:37:46 +0000 Anonymous 106795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Now that is fabulous news! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/3#post-106793 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:11:48 +0000 Maya 106793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no idea :\ I'm going to have to poke around my closet and see. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/3#post-106790 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:59:05 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 106790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha - trust Angie to ask the really important question...what are you wearing?? I wanna know, too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/3#post-106685 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:20:31 +0000 Angie 106685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, you get the next YLF award for bouncing back so quickly. I’m proud of you. Jennifer gets one too for being her fabulous proactive self. Glad that you felt supported here on YLF. </p> <p>Wooohooo! The Russian Tea Room and a day of MoMA fun! That’s just what the doctor ordered. What are you going to wear? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/3#post-106621 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:53:19 +0000 Maya 106621@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am seriously overwhelmed by everyone's kindness, positivity, and helpfulness. I can't find the words to thank all you ladies for your support. It is like having a second family!</p> <p>Anyway, by sheer coincidence one of my friends gave me a ring yesterday. She has been wanting to go to the Russian Tea Room with me for yonks (what a great word!), but obviously the RTR is outrageously expensive so I haven't been able to go. Anyway, we are going to the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA on opening night and she offered to treat me to tea there and just make it a big fun day out, which is obviously very generous of her. </p> <p>I'm feeling MUCH better. Shiny and I are already making great progress. She makes a terrific mentor </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106593 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:46:35 +0000 Ana 106593@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, and I'm happy that Shiny is helping you with marketing. I think you would be really good at that, actually. </p> <p>I love all the positive vibes and great advice on this thread. Thanks, ladies. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106501 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:01:33 +0000 RoseandJoan 106501@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, I'm really happy Shiny is coaching you through marketing. I actually majored in marketing and believe it to be a serious career option for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106499 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:15:28 +0000 Angie 106499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That’s excellent, Maya. You sound more positive already. Get out into the land of the living too! Have tea out :0). You need to earn some money in the interim, so start that thread as well. </p> <p>LE, I adore your mantra. </p> <p>Michelle, you are an angel. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106469 Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:16:51 +0000 agrace 106469@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya - good luck to you. I hope you are able to get back in touch with some of your friends and they might treat you to dinner and one day, I'm sure you will be treating them. As to friends who live close by, I keep hearing these cheesy sayings like 'staying in is the new going out'. We are on a much tighter budget due to me being at home, we took a massive pay cut when I left my sales position to be at home and we have a very limited 'entertainment' budget as we call it. So a lot of what we do is free (with friends) like getting together for dinner or the girls will bring over a bottle of wine, etc. Anyways, I hope you have friends who can respect the need to not always have a big night on the town or that some come into your life. </p> <p>Meanwhile, enjoy catching up with your tri-state chums and please keep us posted.<br /> Blessings to you.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106444 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:59:14 +0000 Anonymous 106444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm also late to this thread, but wanted to add my "I've been there too; hang in there, you can do it!" </p> <p>Maya, I can only echo what has been said. We are here to support you, and are more than willing to help in any way possible, even though we are far apart and most of us have never met. This is a unique community. </p> <p>One thing that has helped me is repeating a mantra or saying to encourage or strengthen me. It sounded cheesy when I started, but it has helped me focus on what truth and what lies I'm telling myself. One of the phrases I've grown fond of is, "I will not be overlooked, and I will not be undervalued." My previous work environment was not a healthy place for me, and my period of unemployment, though short, wreaked havoc on my confidence. Saying that phrase helped me gain confidence and rally me towards action. Again, it can seem cheesy, but the habit of building myself up has been a foundation for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106443 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:50:28 +0000 Maya 106443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think YLF is what keeps me sane these days. I can't see my IRL friends, but I can always "see" my YLF friends! I wish I could use my time off to take a global YLF hugging tour. Something to save up for when I retire. I'm exploring marketing jobs with Shiny at the mo. We'll see how that goes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106439 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:23:48 +0000 Michelle 106439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, this is an offer that you may have no need of, but I thought I'd put it out there. Before I went into journalism, I used to work as a recruiter at a bank here in Canada. Through my work in the corporate world as well as my own experiences finding work in the media industry, I have either had to read or write a wide variety of cover letters ranging from the traditional to the creative. If you would ever like some help with resumes or cover letters, I'd be more than happy to help edit them. I'm also here to talk if you ever need to; I am proof positive that raw talent is not what it takes to succeed, persistence is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106435 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:54:25 +0000 Anonymous 106435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Below are your words Maya. </p> <p>"My anxiety does not stem from my inability to get a design job. I could get over that. My real worry is that I can't get a crappy job doing office work or retail. THAT is disturbing beyond words. My college degree(s) which I paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for means absolutely NOTHING. I can't get a job roasting wieners on the street with my degrees. I may as well have not gone to school. I wish I hadn't now. I don't want kids, but if I ever had kids, I would make them think a thousand times before making that kind of commitment. College is an absolute scam to me."</p> <p>This is your depression in a nut shell and where you could take a deep look at what you might do to have things work for you.<br /> You are frustrated because you have too much to offer and no where to offer it. There are parents who use tough love to push their children forward in life, and there are parents who are happy to keep pushing back the empty nest date. Either way it is a very hard time in life, figuring out a way to get into the action. We all go through it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106434 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:50:01 +0000 Sihaya 106434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya - I have been off the forum for a while so am just now getting to this. Firstly, I am really sorry to hear what you've been through and are still going through. I haven't been in your situation though dealt with dire poverty (I had to think twice and then not buy even a can of Coke) and I can totally imagine what you are saying you're going through. Good for you for using YLF to vent so you can then process your feelings and move into a more productive space. Meanwhile there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a week off to recoup. Even the most resilient of us sometimes need a mental/emotional vacation. </p> <p>As for life coaches, as an executive coach, I know several folks who do life coaching. There is one person in particular who offers a free first session and has had several very satisfied clients. I know her rates are reasonable in the market - that is she compares favorably to what other life coaches charge. If you're interested, let me know and I'd be happy to connect the 2 of you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106427 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:14:13 +0000 RoseandJoan 106427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, you never sounded pathetic, just overwhelmed and demotivated. Isolation is not good for anyone, it is a form of torture, so I believe reaching out and having fun with your friends will replenish your soul.</p> <p>Do not feel bad about going onto unemployment, it is a short term measure to help you through a difficult time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106425 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:04:21 +0000 Maya 106425@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, I didn't mean to sound so pathetic. I know this sounds backwards, but sometimes I just need a few days to whine, wallow in pity, and overdramatize everything. Once it gets to a point where not even *I* can stand myself anymore, I know I'm ready to move on :)</p> <p>I have refused to go on unemployment but finally broke down this week. I won't be getting much but it's a lot more than I thought and definitely a big help. The reason I feel so awful right now is not just because of the rejections, but because of the complete disruption to my life. I have become such a hermit because I'm afraid to spend money (and now I don't have money to spend), and I am really feeling alienated from my social circle. I worry that by the time I'm on my feet again, it will be too late to rekindle all of these relationships I have been neglecting. Anyway, the unemployment is going to serve as my "friend fund." Basically it's my money to use on commuting all over the greater tri-state area to get back in touch with people and, if necessary, get dinner or coffee. I'll still have money left over to make some modest contributions to my loans, but I can't continue being this isolated. It just isn't healthy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106407 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:29:42 +0000 LoP 106407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like a series of bad luck with interviews. When you find something, be sure that you'll have couple of offers at once and will have hard time choosing one. It's always at the end of hard times that one has a lot of good things coming her way.</p> <p>I haven't had the chance to read all the suggestions, but how about a blog to sketch your daily thoughts and network with people in your career of interest. Jobs go through word of mouth rather than resume submissions in these though economic times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106406 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:22:36 +0000 shiny 106406@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marianna, I can still get jealous sometimes when I compare how friends and family who are "at my station" in life are living (especially when I compare closets!) but the peace of mind is wonderful and worth it. </p> <p>It is also a huge benefit that it takes me only about an hour to clean my house, and there's also not much lawn to maintain (though DH has cultivated a garden on nearly every last inch, since he enjoys gardening). My house is a fraction of the size of my ex's but we have enough room and when the kids are grown and gone (not too long now) the place will be manageable size for just the two of us (and I'll have more closet space.. hee hee). We hope to live out the rest of our lives here, so I am not worried at all about the fact the market value has gone in the toilet. </p> <p>As for not living within your means now, don't fret about it. This is exactly the time when credit is supposed to be used. I survived the 9 month layoff in 2001-2002 by using my credit card to pay rent and groceries. I was going through a divorce so all assets were completely frozen - could not even dip into 401K savings. No child support, as we were sharing custody. Unemployment just covered Cobra, and that's it. My parents offered help, I refused a blatant handout but I did accept gifts - particularly clothes and things for the kids. I racked up a lot of debt over those 9 months - but once I landed a job, I was able to pay it off quickly. </p> <p>There will be feast and famine times in life, that's what I learned. Right now I'm in a feast period and you can bet I have been racking up savings and arranging things to prepare for the next famine. But in times of famine, there is no shame at all in relying on credit to get by. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106404 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:16:12 +0000 agrace 106404@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, I have no words of wisdom to offer but I know that you are obviously wicked smart, a wonderful writer, and very capable of expressing yourself in both a clear and intelligent manner. While I don't doubt for a minute you've come up with all of these ideas I'm going to list a few things that come to mind just to bridge this interim gap:</p> <p>-concierge service for elderly/ traveling professionals<br /> -childcare<br /> -light house work and ironing<br /> -newspaper route<br /> -landscaping (I was blown away by how much some of these people make!)<br /> -dog walking or longer term care<br /> -house sitting<br /> -Nanny full time<br /> -Advanced tutoring<br /> -</p> <p>Are you good with photography or cooking? </p> <p>I have had the largest portion of my career spent in sales. If you can find a 100 % commission sales job that perhaps offers a small stipend for the first few months that might be worth a try. The only reason I say this is sometimes sales positions are available when nothing else is b/c they are paying 100 % commission and do not have to pay a salary (but this is also dependent on whether or not they are offering benefits)</p> <p>Totally off topic but I know that when I have been between jobs it was the pressure of my mother that forced me to acquire my own temporary health insurance so I hope that you have looked into that just to take care of yourself!</p> <p>Americorp is a good option to look into as well in addition to Teach America and some of the other things you and others have mentioned. </p> <p>Be gentle with yourself. This is also going to sound very trite I am afraid and forgive me if you have already talked about this on the forum before, but are you getting up and getting dressed nicely each day early? I've always heard people suggest that just to be in the right frame of mind. Forgive me as I know that sounds trite. I really, truly believe this will be changing for you soon. I have already said a prayer for your situation and will continue to do so.</p> <p>Very best </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106390 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:44:56 +0000 Laura 106390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny, I LOVE your list. That is exactly how I (well, sometimes just try) to see my experience as well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106387 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:31:34 +0000 marianna 106387@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, you should be very grateful that your parents are helping you right now. I know it's not the ideal situation to be in, but you're a million times better off than some people who cannot receive financial assistance from their parents. My parents have been affected by the economy as well -- my dad lost his job and ultimately retired, and my mom had a very successful real estate business that absolutely came to a stand still when the economic went bad. They help me as much as they can, but lately it's been less and less... because they just can't afford to support me and themselves (just supporting themselves is difficult). Some people our age get ZERO help from their parents and are out on their own once they hit age 18. I come from a European family (and I think Indian families are the same), but parents help their children out as long as they can. It's just part of the culture and it's something we should be so thankful and appreciative for. At least you have a roof over your head, warm meals, etc, you know? After long periods of unemployment some people lose it all. You're not in a desperate situation.</p> <p>Obviously it absolutely stinks that finding work is so hard right now, but the ladies above have made some AMAZING points, especially that there have been recessions before, and people have conquered. You're obviously not going to be unemployed for the rest of your life -- that's just not realistic. We just have to get over this hump. It's going to happen. We don't know how long it's going to take, but it will happen. You're not going to be the only person in the world who never finds work. That's just silly.</p> <p>I also really like Shiny's advice about living within your means -- this is something that I am trying so hard to do but I keep failing. Shiny, you are so wise to live in a modest home that allows you to enjoy some of the more frivolous things in life. This is what I hope to achieve one day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106382 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:11:53 +0000 Mojo Riley 106382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny- I did graduate into a recession. I finished my undergraduate degree in January of 2001- smack in the middle of the dot com bust. That meant that there was a dearth of "real jobs" out there for new grads, and not only that, my means of supporting myself (waitressing- sometimes 2-3 jobs at a time, and up to 60 hours a week while taking full-time course loads) dried up in scary, scary ways. Our clientele was almost exclusively financial services people, and internet entrepreneurs. I saw my take home pay drop by some 40% when these people started staying home and spending less. I did not have anywhere to turn for help, so trust me, no wake up call required here- I've been on my own my whole life without a safety net. </p> <p>And again, I know you mean well, but "following your passion" is not realistic for many people. I would certainly never tell a young person to do that in today's world. All the passion in the world won't pay the rent. Some people are blessed with family that can help them while they explore their passions, but many aren't. For those people, getting a practical degree from a cheaper school is the wisest course. I followed a lot of bad advice about my major when I was young and didn't know better. Everyone said the same thing, and that it was the degree itself that mattered, not the exact course of study. Not true at all.</p> <p>And regarding the value of an education, when young people are paying out the nose for a degree, and being told that it's an investment in their future, there is a reasonable expectation that they won't spend the next 40 years working at Starbucks. The cost of an education has risen dramatically over the years, and solid entry-level jobs are harder and harder to come by. So yes, there is value in learning separate and aside from earning a paycheck, but "working to live and not living to work" requires, well, a job so that one can "live"....I forgot the exact figures, but I read recently that in the 70's and 80's student loan debt averaged around 30% of first year take home pay for college graduates. Today, you're looking at an average of 80-100% of take-home pay for a undergraduate degree, and in some cases, 150% or more for a graduate degree. What we're doing to young people is criminal.</p> <p>Maya, please don't let yourself sink into depression- I know you used the words "bottomless pit of despair," and those are scary words. If you really start feeling like you can't summon the drive to keep going, it might be time to talk to someone who can help. You can find mental health professionals who use a sliding scale for payments. I'm not saying you need this- but in case you do, there is no shame in it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106376 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:17:45 +0000 Angie 106376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wooohooo, positive thoughts! KILLER.</p> <p>Thank you Julie and Shiny. You're fabulous lasses. Maya, you know my story. After a degree in Psychology and a diploma in Fashion Design, (changing my career no less), I started at the bottom and worked in a clothing factory earning just a little more than minimum wage and a free tank of petrol. We were all there once and it’s very, VERY tough. Shiny, can actually count the number of times she’s been laid off! </p> <p>You have thought about this is great depth and continue to do so. I understand your cerebral pondering because that’s how you’re wired. Please my dear Maya, do not despair. Let’s start a new thread and think laterally about what you can do to get through this. We are going to help you fill your wallet with latkes. Thankfully, there is a wealth of experience and intelligence on this forum. Let the creative brainstorming begin. How say you, sweet pea? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106374 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:04:28 +0000 shiny 106374@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Stacie, I feel most sorry for people your age, because you've never experienced a recession. I know many people your age and in similar boats who were rudely awakened this past year, and all have said the same things you are saying. I get that.<br /> Like Maya I graduated during a recession, which gave me perspective that there are no guarantees for an easy life. I also spent most of my career in high tech, which is very volatile, so I am used to being laid off as it's par for the course. </p> <p>Let's not dissolve into a "my life is worse than yours" thread and think positively! </p> <p>Here's what my struggles and layoffs has taught me: </p> <p>1) To live within my means.. I am making good money now and could easily afford a larger mortgage, but I have a modest home instead - one that I know I could afford if DH lost his job, AND my own salary was halved. When times are good, we enjoy trips and eating out and indulgence in my fashion hobby - all things that we've decided together are worth spending disposable income on. But more importantly, we have peace of mind that if times are not good, we will not be suffering to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. </p> <p>2) To know that I am resilient. </p> <p>3) To take risks - i.e., pursue a path I may never have considered. </p> <p>4) Compassion for others, since I've walked in those shoes.</p> <p>5) Variety - have worked for numerous companies instead of just one. :-)</p> <p>6) To work to live, not live to work. </p> <p>7) Might as well pursue your passion. The money tends to follow, and even if it doesn't, at least you are happy. </p> <p>8) To be patient. </p> <p>9) That even when it feels like the end of the world, the sun comes up tomorrow. </p> <p>10) Education ... there is value in getting one, even if it doesn't lead to a paycheck. Education for sake of learning is a good thing. </p> <p>11) To appreciate that luck has a lot to do with it. I think this is a good realization because then you stop beating yourself over the head thinking you did something wrong. </p> <p>12) Connections ARE important. But, I think I mean that in a different way than Stacie. I mean that every single person you meet is valuable, and some day could help you out, in big or subtle ways. You never know. Cultivate your connections - but call them "relationships." Help people out when they need the help - it will come back to you down the road, when you need help. </p> <p>13) It is okay to rely on your family and friends when times are tough. Maya, please do not feel bad about your dad helping you out with your loans. It all comes around again, and someday you will be able to pay him back. This is what parents do for their kids. </p> <p>I hope others will add positive thoughts here as well! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106338 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:12:53 +0000 RoseandJoan 106338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, I think the world of you, I really do, I love to read your intelligent remarks on the forum but I feel you are on the brink of self pity, this only leads to despair and possible depression.</p> <p>You are going through an incredibly tough time at the moment but every single person on this forum has a story. You need a way to boost your confidence so you can get back on the job hunt with renewed vigour.</p> <p>Life is hard for new graduates at the moment, as it was for the graduates of the 90's &amp; 70's. Recession is not a new phenomenon, it will pass like all of the others and opportunities will emerge.</p> <p>Allow your parents to help, it is a life long contract parenting with no expiration date and I'm sure they would hate to see you struggle further. A time will come when you can pay them back in kind.</p> <p>I'm sorry for the tough love and really sorry if my post upsets you but I'm scared of the emotional path you are on.</p> <p>Sending genuine hugs your way</p> <p>Julie </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106334 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:09:06 +0000 Maya 106334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't feel bad Marianna. When I was your age (not to sound like I'm much older than you...because I'm not...), I did not quite get the hang of this responsibility thing. I was sort of forced into it: when you don't have money, you don't spend it (well, I guess some people do, but credit cards scare me so I don't touch mine except for emergencies). I burned through whatever I had saved a long time ago. My parents are paying my loans right now (I want to put the on deferment, but my dad completely rejects the idea because he doesn't want me to pay the interest). It does not feel good to be sponging off my folks who should be retired and enjoying life.</p> <p>Technically, I shouldn't be buying new stuff at all...even the super cheap stuff...but of course life isn't worth living without some small joys, so I don't beat myself up over it. I can't recommend a full stop shopping ban to anyone that loves shopping, but my current shopping philosophy revolves around one principle: learn to live with a lot less. I have learned to deal with less in terms of quantity and less in terms of quality, but it actually hasn't hurt as much as I expected. It makes me appreciate every new thing I get a lot more, and also makes me a lot more selective, which is good. I am also shopping a lot more in my closet and making use of orphans, which is almost like getting something new for free. If you told me I would one day be shopping at Forever 21 as little as two years ago, I would have laughed. As it turns out, it's not so bad if you develop an eye for it. </p> <p>I don't want to diminish your feelings because I do know how you feel, but try to think positively. At the very least, you're keeping busy, and when the economy starts to pick up, you won't have any gaps in your resume. That's worth a LOT in today's economy.</p> <p>San, I don't know the first thing about finding a life coach. It sounds a little shady...not that everyone is a crook but it sounds like there is potential to be scammed if you don't know what you're doing (which I don't). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106333 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:28:16 +0000 Anonymous 106333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh boy Maya, you are really in a bad frame of mind and I hope you can find help for it soon before it gets out of hand. There are life coaches to talk with who know how to help people get their lives on a good path. I have a very close friend who went that route and it was awsome. There are answers and ways of thinking about situations that you may have never have heard of before. Might be worth looking one up. I hope the best for you with all my heart!<br /> Sandy </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106329 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:08:03 +0000 marianna 106329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, I'm really not much better off. I work for a TV show and it sounds fancy, but in reality I'm just a lousy production assistant making minimum wage. I only work twice a week, and that's when the show is taping -- for example, currently we're on a 3 week hiatus, which means I am taking in no income, zero dollars. It's not a steady job. I am *hoping* that they take me on full time soon, but who knows. I'm basically doing grunt labor in hopes of a positive outcome but there is no guarantee.</p> <p>And Anthropologie? Well, I definitely am not thrilled about working retail after graduating college. I am only scheduled 38 hours for the next two weeks, and the pay is very very low. I am surrounded by girls who are still in college and I feel old. </p> <p>I am piss poor, but I have a college degree -- so what? What is that diploma giving me? Trust me, we're in very similar situations.</p> <p>On a positive note, you seem to be responsible with your money. I, on the other hand, have never learned how to watch my money and my spending has been out of control. I am living outside of my means. I am trying to change this, but I am so addicted to shopping and spending. You seem to be much better off in this aspect.</p> <p>I've sort of lost hope too. When I hear that my former classmates have full time jobs I feel so much jealousy. I hate being ugly like that but I can't help it. I never thought I'd be working for minimum wage with a college degree, struggling to make ends meet. I am also beginning to doubt my skills and my intelligence. I don't know why anyone would want to hire me... I have no experience and really, not much to offer. When so many experienced professionals are out of work, why in the world would someone hire me? I completely feel your pain.</p> <p>It's hard being young and inexperienced right now. If I don't get a full time job at the tv show by the end of this season (one month), then I'm back at square one -- no leads, no nothing.</p> <p>You're not alone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106325 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:03:25 +0000 Maya 106325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny, I know I am hardly alone in this, but I do think my situation is worse in many ways. I do not wish to undermine the devastation of ANYONE losing their job, especially those who have families to take care of, but I think a lot of people who are despairing right now are better off than they think they are. For example, a friend of mine keeps complaining about not having a full time job, but she has a very high rate of freelance jobs coming her way. She is doing as well as I would have expected to upon graduation, she just has some unreasonable standards that are causing her to feel dissatisfied. </p> <p>I know Marianna mentioned that she is in a similar spot as me, but I actually consider her to be much better off. I never expected that I would graduate and get my dream job right out of school. I had very humble expectations to begin with, so the fact that I have lowered my standards when they weren't that high to begin with is just sad. </p> <p>Stacie, I understand what you mean. The older folks who are losing their jobs are in a terrible spot because most of them will have families to take care of, and I feel for them. It's hard enough to be responsible for yourself, let alone others. But as you say, they have experience, connections, and usually some sort of safety net, and they have had the opportunity to enjoy their lives and make the most of the fruits of their labor. And yet I am being forced out of my chosen career before I even had a chance to start it. It is really a bottomless pit of despair. I couldn't go back to school if I wanted to. Actually, this is my second degree already, and like you, I am in so much debt it makes me want to vomit. I'm actually looking into one of those teach English abroad programs, but I would need one that pays enough for me to continue making loan payments. I am a prisoner to my debt. </p> <p>My anxiety does not stem from my inability to get a design job. I could get over that. My real worry is that I can't get a crappy job doing office work or retail. THAT is disturbing beyond words. My college degree(s) which I paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for means absolutely NOTHING. I can't get a job roasting wieners on the street with my degrees. I may as well have not gone to school. I wish I hadn't now. I don't want kids, but if I ever had kids, I would make them think a thousand times before making that kind of commitment. College is an absolute scam to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-big-bummer/page/2#post-106316 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:32:49 +0000 Mojo Riley 106316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, forgive me, because I don't know you, having just joined the forum, but I've been lurking for a while and have always been impressed by your intelligence and your ability to articulate your thoughts. So, again, please forgive me if I step out of line, but your situation really tugs at me. You remind me of me, only I'm 33 and in a similar situation....in my very worst nightmares, I never would have pictured my life turning out this way.</p> <p>We live in an ugly, ugly time right now, and the reality is, no one wants to give younger people a chance. Older folks will talk about how they made it, not understanding the reality of what it's like to start out without connections, without money, and in many cases (my own, for example) absolutely CRUSHING student loan debt in today's world. Whatever we do, it's never enough. I look around and often think, "yeah, it's hard for older folks too, but you know what- at least a lot of them got to enjoy some of the good things in life, like having kids, taking vacations, buying a home (or two) and generally, enjoying the fruits of their labor." We were raised to believe the same would be true for us. Well, it isn't.</p> <p>I could meander off in a thousand different directions right now, possibly alienating a significant number of people here, so I won't do that. I will say this- be VERY careful about returning to school for another, "better" degree. I did it, when my undergraduate degree from a very reputable Jesuit institution had me STILL waiting tables after graduation. It got me another 150K in debt (top 20 law school, solid grades, good WE), and here I am, 2 years later, unemployed. The only interview I even got after graduation was with a recruiting firm (a job I could have done with a HS degree) paying LESS than I made as a waitress. I lost that job last October, and here I am more than a year later, without prospects......You cannot discharge student loan debt in BK. Had I bought a house I couldn't afford, gone crazy on Rodeo Dr with a credit card, started a business that failed, I could at least get a fresh start. Not so with student loan debt. Can't pay? They don't care. So in other words, PLEASE don't fall into the trap of going back to school to "better" yourself, unless you have significant connections and/or you're getting a degree in a field that absolutely cannot be outsourced.</p> <p>Sorry this is so long-winded- it's been a bad week, and I'm about at the end of my rope. If I say anything that offends you, please understand that I just want to spare you what I've been through, and what lots of my friends are currently going through. If I knew at your age what I know now, I would have left the country and started off somewhere with better prospects for upward social mobility. I feel very blessed that I was able to get Irish citizenship and my partner can come with me on a resident visa to any EU member nation. Maybe you can look into academic or work programs overseas or in Canada? If you want to stay here, you might look into Teach for America- you can get a small stipend and it looks very good on the resume...</p> <p>Anyway, again, sorry for the long post. I feel for you, I really do. It's awful out there, and it's probably not going to get better anytime soon from a pragmatic standpoint. </p>