https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 05 May 2026 03:29:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-205227 Tue, 24 Aug 2010 05:26:26 +0000 Scarlet 205227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Looks beautiful, Mac. I really think that crying can be healing.</p> <p>How about planning some fun outings with your girlfriends? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-205220 Tue, 24 Aug 2010 05:02:08 +0000 Mac 205220@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, ladies. As you can imagine, I'm still grieving but going up to a lovely hotel for 2 nights of swimming, crying, watching dvds, crying, going on long walks and crying did me the world of good. Here are a few of the pretty views that helped me feel the tiniest bit better.</p> <p><a href="http://s878.photobucket.com/albums/ab341/MacYLF/Escape%20from%20the%20City/" rel="nofollow">http://s878.photobucket.com/al.....he%20City/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-203033 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:49:54 +0000 Anonymous 203033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs, Mac. I was going to say something along the lines of Katie, but her story says it all. The best advice I got was to get "revenge" by being the best I could be. Read, take classes, travel, find a new hobby that you love, volunteer... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-203007 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 11:40:33 +0000 stringy 203007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ear piercings is a great idea, right in the spirit of things! ((hugs again)) Sounds like you're taking good care of yourself so far. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202944 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 05:04:22 +0000 Melissa 202944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big hugs, Mac. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202940 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 05:01:25 +0000 Sihaya 202940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac - big hugs. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. The three things I'd suggest: a) spend time with girlfriends, b) sleep in a bed other than the one you and he slept in for at least a few days if you can, c) it's a great time to exercise: releases all those negative feelings/energy while getting you in even better shape. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202826 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 02:42:17 +0000 Kari 202826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, what a bummer. That's a painful situation to deal with even if it was your decision.</p> <p>Three years ago I went through a difficult breakup that rocked many of the plans and foundations of my life because I had put all these plans into place around the relationship, and they all kind of fell apart. </p> <p>After the breakup happened, I had a very helpful and kind conversation with a family friend. I can't do justice to exactly what she said, but essentially she shared a story with me where her family had decided to make a very major life change, and a year after they put the plans into motion, they all decided that it was a huge mistake. She said that after a while, rather than thinking of their original plan as a failure, she started to think about the rest of their lives from that point onward as a clean slate. </p> <p>Somehow it was just the thing I needed to hear. It took me several months to internalize that advice and get my life in gear, but I decided that I needed to think about the breakup not as a tragic ending, but as an opportunity to start over and do something new.</p> <p>However, I fully believe that it's okay to grieve a bit over the end of an important relationship, too. Be patient and gentle with yourself, okay? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202700 Wed, 18 Aug 2010 23:41:24 +0000 Sparky 202700@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Mac, my heart goes out to you. I'll never forget that feeling of the ground giving way under me during a particularly hard breakup. The guy broke up with me a few weeks before the end of my first semester of grad school, right before finals and major papers were due. I remember gritting my teeth and telling myself that I would NOT let this guy railroad my masters degree. Like Katiepea, I decided the best revenge was to ace my studies, take care of myself and get in great shape. </p> <p>I also relied heavily on family and friends ~ spent countless hours on the phone with my mom and my closest couple of friends, who were there for me at just about all hours. Their soothing voices calmed me and their anger on my behalf helped let me let go of my own anger. I also made sure to get lots of sleep, and figured out visualization and meditation techniques to fall asleep and stay asleep. Keeping a journal, where I poured out everything, helped a lot too. </p> <p>Hugs to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202659 Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:16:14 +0000 Laura 202659@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I'm sorry to hear about this but hope you find comfort knowing you did what you had to do. You were brave and that is to be commended. I always threw myself into my work following a break-up. It's amazing how much you can accomplish with no distractions! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202616 Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:46:56 +0000 shana 202616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. I'm glad to hear that you are taking the opportunity to get away - it sounds like the best thing you can do right now. I agree with crw - allow yourself time to grieve. Listen to sad songs, watch sappy movies, look over pictures but set yourself a time limit! On that day, tell yourself that you are done wallowing in sadness and you are ready to start your new life! It's also a good time to try something new - maybe a new group of friends, or maybe a fun class (basket-weaving, italian cooking or jewelry-making or whatever tickles your fancy!). Hang in there, it will get better!</p> <p>. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202471 Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:51:37 +0000 April 202471@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I'm late chiming in but just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. When my marriage was ending, the hardest thing for me was having to tell everyone. It was exhausting and humbling to have to keep acknowledging it in conversation, but I think ultimately that process does help you move through it and get to a place where you feel less raw. It will happen, but give yourself time to get there. </p> <p>I found music helpful too. Just as when you're first in love and every song on the radio seems to be about you and your feelings, breakups can be the same. Indulge yourself in whatever music comforts you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-202003 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:48:58 +0000 Mellllls 202003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad you got a plan Mac. A big, fancy hotel sounds perfect. Take care of yourself. And don't forget to eat. That is my biggest problem during break ups, loss of appetite. You need to keep eating to keep your emotional strength up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201909 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:40:39 +0000 NK 201909@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No good advice, just wishing you the best right now, and letting you know we're all here for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201904 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:31:41 +0000 RandomThoughts (Andrea) 201904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I wish I had some advice but it sounds like you've already gotten lots. Going out of town, getting a piercing, new hairstyle, etc all seem wonderful ways to "start fresh".</p> <p>Though I've never had an LTR that ended (teenage loves don't count and are certainly not 10 years!) I have lost loved ones. It's a terrible feeling. Take good care of yourself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201892 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:08:52 +0000 crwilson 201892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac - I'm so sorry that you're going through this. The best advice I got was from a dear friend when my ex-fiance and I broke up. She told me to let myself grieve. I don't know why, but it helped me to use that word and to think about the process as something "real." It made me feel like it was legitimate and okay to be devastated for awhile but that then I could move on when I was ready. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201886 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:00:43 +0000 judy 201886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Mac, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a heartbreaking situation! Good for you for reaching out. You've got such great advice here...and story, Katie. I wanted to add another voice of support that you will get through this, you will.</p> <p>You bring up such interesting questions on the forum, Mac, that it's often had me wondering...and wishing...that you had your own blog. Have you ever considered that? It can be fun...and empowering to pour yourself into something at a time like this. (But please don't stop sharing here!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201885 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:00:40 +0000 Mac 201885@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Ladies. </p> <p>Michelle and I are finally going to meet in person. </p> <p>Angie: yes, it was I who did the actual breaking up but he'd been acting in ways that made it very difficult to continue, so I feel as tho' the split was very much mutual.</p> <p>Stringy: yes... I considered getting a new hair style but I'm terrified of not only feeling dreadful but LOOKING dreadful, too, if the style doesn't suit me. However, I like the way you think and figure this might be as good a time as any to finally get my ears pierced.</p> <p>Mellllls: I'm heading out of town for a few days, on my own: fancy hotel with a big pool, comfy beds, fresh air, etc. Internet connection too, of course, since being in touch with friends - and that includes YLFers - will be of the utmost importance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201884 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:58:09 +0000 Maya 201884@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow Mac, I am so sorry to hear this.</p> <p>I have no advice as I have never been in your position, but I love Katie's story and I once more applaud the strength of the YLF women. </p> <p>You always start the most intelligent, articulate, thought-provoking discussions here and that is 100% a reflection of who you are and what you have to offer. I hope you remember this and carry yourself proudly. It's his loss. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201879 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:52:40 +0000 Alison 201879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm really sorry! Even though it doesn't seem like it now, life will get better. A few years ago I had a 9 year relationship go up in flames, and spent several years sorting things out. The good news is that now I am 40, single, happier than I have been in ages, and I don't miss him at all. I actually feel like I am really lucky to be in the place I am now. </p> <p>Everything will be ok, really! Hang in there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201876 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:50:55 +0000 Mellllls 201876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry to hear this. I haven't had such a long-term break-up but if it was me, I would want to leave town. Get out of town, be it a cabin in the woods, a beach house, your parents' house, your sister's. Just somewhere that isn't home. I think it will clear your head. Then, like Katiepea said, game on. Live the best life you can and don't let him get you down!!<br /> From the few things I've read that you've written here, I know you're intelligent, articulate and passionate. I know you will get through this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201874 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:50:05 +0000 Lynne 201874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>hugs... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got/page/2#post-201867 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:36:28 +0000 tarzy 201867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Mac - so sorry to hear this. </p> <p>Please know that there is life after a big breakup!</p> <p>A very, very good friend of mine wrote a great manual for moving on after a breakup. It's called "It's a Beakup, Not a Breakdown." It really is a great guide for moving through the loss. Honestly - I'm really not trying to sell her book - but it really has some good advice! </p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1598691724?ie=UTF8&#038;tag=breakupchrcom-20&#038;linkCode=as2&#038;camp=1789&#038;creative=390957&#038;creativeASIN=1598691724" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....1598691724</a></p> <p>She also has a website with some good stuff on it! If nothing else, you might at least feel like you're not alone -</p> <p><a href="http://lisasteadman.com/" rel="nofollow">http://lisasteadman.com/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201797 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:41:29 +0000 biscuitsmom 201797@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo the others in saying how sorry I am to hear this..be gentle with yourself, treat yourself whenever possible to whatever you may want, whether its a new haircut, a clothing purchase or two, etc...and remember you have a lot of friends here who really care about you.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201792 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:36:52 +0000 Debbie 201792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Mac I'm so sorry. You have gotten a lot of great advice here. Please take care of yourself and take Michelle up on her offer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201783 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:26:57 +0000 Dusty 201783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten some great advice. Just take care of yourself and know you've got a whole bunch of girlfriends here to lean on when you need it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201753 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 13:42:44 +0000 rute 201753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The same happened to me right after my daughter birth.. The best advice is than God has so much better for you.. now it's diffucult to see, but one day you'll look back and see it clearly! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201749 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 13:36:18 +0000 Frances 201749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And one more thing that can help: travel! It doesn't have to be right this very minute, but if it's in your budget and you can get time away from work, travel can be wonderful for taking your mind off this, for getting you out of the same familiar surroundings marked by painful memories. Oh, Mac, I'm so sorry. I hate hearing that other people are going through this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201713 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 07:39:53 +0000 stringy 201713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww, Mac, so sorry to hear this ((hugs))</p> <p>There's plenty of good advice above, but I thought I'd chip in one that helped me: get a new style next time you get a haircut. Or a new colour. </p> <p>Think of it as a butterfly coming out of it's cocoon. I'm sure there were wonderful parts to your relationship or it wouldn't have lasted so long, but you're in a new stage of life now and it's helpful to have a little visible evidence of that. </p> <p>You could get a tattoo or something, or buy a whole new wardrobe, and that'd work just as well. But a haircut is cheaper and less permanent </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201685 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:55:36 +0000 Kate 201685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mac, I am so sorry and am sending some big hugs your way! The best advice I can offer has already been given - allow yourself to feel the ways that you feel, and make the most of your new freedom when you feel up to it.</p> <p>Katiepea, that's one of the best stories I've heard in a long time! I hope you don't mind if I tell it to friends when they're going through breakups, because it's wonderful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot-best-break-up-advice-you-ever-got#post-201660 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:38:17 +0000 Scarlet 201660@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, there is already better advice here than any I ever got myself. Just, oh I am sorry. I would give yourself a little bit of time to feel your emotions, but after awhile I find it helps me to have some kind of project or work that occupies my mind. Also I would stop talking to this person for a good long while. I think it makes it easier to sort your head out. It's so nice that you can meet up with Michelle there. </p> <p>Katiepea, that is such a great story. </p>