https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 23:24:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-699990 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 07:18:23 +0000 Kate 699990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, I've been in your situation, and it is hard. Consider yourself hugged, right now! The suggestion to take a language class is excellent. It will give you a place to go, some needed structure to your life, and you'll meet people who are in the same position you are. Plus, you'll learn a new language. Getting out and walking around your new city is another great idea. When we lived in Belgium, I ended up knowing more about getting around Brussels than I've ever known about Washington, DC, and I've lived here for almost 30 years. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698912 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 22:00:48 +0000 Janine 698912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel for you as I am somewhat in similar circumstances myself. We moved 4,000 kilometers from Ontario Canada to San Jose USA for hubbys work a month ago. I cannot work as I cannot get a visa and I just had a new baby boy so I am somewhat stuck at home. The first 2 weeks all I did was cry from missing friends and family. I have met a few neighbours but not many other people. I hope it gets better....the suggestions everyone has given look great! I am planning to join a gym, volunteer and take some online courses....hopefully things will get easier for both of us </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698861 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:15:26 +0000 Anonymous 698861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We moved 1,220 miles away from everything and everyone we knew a year and a half ago. IT IS HARD! I still get homesick, although we've made lots of new friends here. I know what you're going through.....((hugs)) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698775 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:08:13 +0000 ramya 698775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>thank you all... loved the tips you guys gave me...<br /> starting now I am going to try all the tips you guys gave me.</p> <p>I am not usually so negetive but something got into me and i was<br /> misserable.</p> <p>you guys made me feel better thank you so much </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698740 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 19:43:30 +0000 jayne 698740@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi...I will send my phone number on the PM and you can call me. I know I am not close enough to visit but we can talk and I have a acquantaince in Stavanger who can give me tips on what is going on locally. </p> <p>Tips..as Harmonica said, Norway has free norwegian courses for us foreigners so you need to find out where and sign up. I met my best friend in Norway in my first day of norwegian class. Remember, those people will be new here, and lonely too. </p> <p>Norway and especially Stavanger is super international so you don't have to actually speak Norwegian to get by. Just speak English ...almost all the foreignors I have met who moved here less than 10 years ago, do not speak the language. Norwegians speak English too well for them to learn. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698723 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 19:24:36 +0000 RunnerChick 698723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Ramya -<br /> I really feel for you! I went through these feelings when I moved from India to the US for graduate school. Even in a country where I spoke the language and had a "job", life was tough, so I can imagine how much harder it must be for you. I'm sending you big, big hugs! There's plenty of great advice here already, and I don't have other suggestions. Please do know that it does - and will - get better. In the meantime, hang in there!<br /> Savitha </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698673 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:47:11 +0000 Ingunn 698673@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big hugs, Ramya! Norway is not always cold, and you will settle in, I'm sure! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698661 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:34:37 +0000 Ornella 698661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, I *so* hear you. Two months and a bit more after my move, and although I am meeting people and there is potential some friendships will develop, it IS SO HARD. New place, new culture, new language - everything. And I've been through this cycle before, we moved a few times across Europe, but each beginning is difficult. Although I'm portraying "been there, done that" attitude towards outside and know it realistically takes and an undefined length of time (but things will eventually sort themselves out), I think right now I'm at my most impatient - I just want it over, this transition that is. </p> <p>Keep your mind occupied. Develop some routines. Exercise. Look for some form of involvement in the local community. Have your own little rituals. </p> <p>Above all, learn the local language. It is one form of social interaction that will do you so much good - you'll meet others in your position, plus you're investing in future relationships with the people in your surroundings with whom you'll be able to communicate.</p> <p>I myself am house-bound, so to speak, at the moment as my son has not started kindergarden yet, but when he does this autumn - I'm starting classes asap. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698653 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:28:07 +0000 CocoLion 698653@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry you are feeling this way! I will be thinking of you all day. It's so hard to move to a foreign country, I have done it myself. I moved alone to Asia several times and it almost did me in.</p> <p>Have you thought of getting a dog? They are truly excellent companions. I never feel lonely with my dog(s) around. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698639 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:18:05 +0000 Scarlet 698639@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would really sign up for an intensive language class. You are bound to meet other people in your position who also have time on their hands. Maybe you do this already, but it would really give your day structure and social contact. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely/page/2#post-698568 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 16:46:57 +0000 Gaylene 698568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*big hug*</p> <p>It may help to know that many of us have been in your position-- and that feeling lonely is always a part of changing locations. I laugh at it now, but I remember feeling so lonely one day that I went out and bought a broom just so I could talk to someone. BUT, as others point out, gradually it does get better and better. And the best way to get through this period is to figure out how to spend your days, especially if you aren't working.</p> <p>I think it's important to leave the house everyday, even if all you do is walk around your new neighborhood or check out some new shops. One of the things that I did was to buy a map of my new city and take the bus somewhere different every other day. After a couple of months, I think I knew the city better than people who had lived there for years. It also gives you something to talk about with your husband and his friends.</p> <p>If you are a sociable person, it can be hard not to have a community of friends and relations around you, but you can also look at this interval as an opportunity to develop your private self. Often, we get so used to being with people that we don't know how to be happy unless we are surrounded by others. Be a bit daring and go to the theatre by yourself, or sit in a coffee house and watch the passing crowd for a while. </p> <p>Just knowing that what you are experiencing is totally normal and happens to everyone who makes a big move can be comforting. And going through this period is going to make you much more sensitive when, after you get settled in your new home with new friends around, you notice a newcomer who looks a bit lonely and lost. You'll be the one who makes the first move to strike up a conversation and suggests going for a cup of coffee. And that person will be ever so grateful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698562 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 16:39:24 +0000 Mochi 698562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry you're feeling alone and out of sorts, Ramya. It's really tough (my first six months in Tokyo were extraordinarily lonely). I think you got great suggestions from everyone. I will send great vibes for you to start finding your groove in Norway! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698557 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 16:30:50 +0000 MNsara 698557@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>More {{{hugs}}} to you, Ramya! Others have given you some wonderful ideas and encouragement. I haven't had to do anything like this (although often I've WISHED I could move away ;-)</p> <p>Someone mentioned gym and it wasn't an option, but I wonder if there are yoga classes in Norway? I find that there are lovely people in my classes - and some are available to chat and get to know.</p> <p>Also, are there any continuing education or adult education classes available? In the US, we usually offer a variety of personal interest classes through the public schools - evenings/weekends - that teach crafts, hobbies, technical stuff, etc. Another place to meet people with that common interest.</p> <p>Do look for a place to volunteer where your limited Norwegian is okay and gets practice! Around us, we have Second Harvest, where people pack foods for those in need, and great English is not necessary. I'd hope there's something around you too that you can try. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698552 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 16:20:22 +0000 Jonesy 698552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry it's been so hard for you and you are hurting! It sounds so trite, but I do think it will get easier with time, as you settle in and develop a routine. I like the idea of trying to find some groups of expats to pal around with, at least initially. (((HUGS))) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698549 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 16:17:33 +0000 Freckles 698549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big cyberhugs.</p> <p>If you get out of the house and wear a smile it often brightens your day as do the hellos you give and receive from strangers on the street. I find when I feel housebound I do not necessarily need a friend but multiple hellos from strangers or acquaintances make me feel part of the world or community. That might be a small start.</p> <p>You never know where or how you will meet a new friend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698479 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 15:18:55 +0000 rae 698479@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, big hugs and good luck to you. I can only imagine... I have a hard time making friends, so I feel lonely a lot, too, but it must be much harder in a whole new country. I hope some of the other suggestions work for you. *hugs* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698448 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:29:52 +0000 Parsley 698448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>((Ramya))<br /> It is so hard being far from home in a foreign culture.<br /> Please hang in there, and it will get better! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698444 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:26:28 +0000 celia 698444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs to you.<br /> When you change countries it is like that in the beginning but little by little you get to know people and find friends and fun things to do.Don't despair, it will be ok. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698440 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:21:28 +0000 Anonymous 698440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm really sorry you feel this way. I completely understand and relate. I moved to the US at the age of 18. I felt so out of place at the beginning. It does get better, you will make friends, I promise. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698439 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:21:12 +0000 Suz 698439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, I am so sorry you are feeling sad and lonely. It is HARD and you are very brave to do what you are doing. Wishing you all the best as you find your feet in your new home. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698437 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:17:04 +0000 lyn* 698437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awwes, no advice from me, but big hugs! *Squish!* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698435 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:14:28 +0000 rute 698435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You'll make new frend and meanwhile you can always talk to us!<br /> hugs </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698434 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:11:17 +0000 Anonymous 698434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Big jugs, Ramya. It's even hard to relocate in the same country, let alone to one with a different language and customs. You have had some good suggestions. This might also be a time to find a creative outlet. My hardest move as a stay-at-home wife was eased when I signed up for off-loom weaving classes at a shop. It could be painting, learning to cook a different cuisine, or taking up a new sport. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698431 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:05:08 +0000 morethanbeige 698431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just chiming in to say that I have experienced these feelings also and can relate to how difficult moving to a new place can be. Hang in there and lean on us, as my experience was that it changes and things will look up. Hugs to you, Ramya. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698427 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:59:51 +0000 MsMary 698427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Warm hugs, Ramya! You are so brave to have moved so far away from home, and I can only imagine how lonely it can feel! I hope things look up for you soon! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698423 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:50:26 +0000 anne 698423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs from me too.</p> <p>My friend runs a friendship group for immigrants (here in Aust) and has real empathy because she used to be an immigrant in Sweden. Finding something like that would be really helpful, I think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698419 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:46:13 +0000 missvee 698419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a shame you are struggling, I am so sorry. There must be other people in the same situation. Do you live near Oslo? Perhaps there is a centre for immigrants and refugees where you could volunteer. The fact that you are an educated woman and fluent in English means that you have a lot to offer others. What about other expat Indians? Perhaps the Indian consulate if there is one, could put you in touch with others. And just another suggestion, do something entirely new - get a puppy, take up skiing, go to a cooking class, whatever you like. Try not to worry about your lack of spoken Norwegian - if you learn a few stock phrases you will pick up words gradually. Maybe you could tutor people wanting to improve their English in exchange for improving your Norwegian. Sorry for this rambling response. I know how isolating it feels in a new place and I hope that you start to feel a bit better soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698413 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:25:11 +0000 April 698413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ramya, I'm gathering from other comments that you're from India but now living in Norway? Is there a community of Indian expats anywhere nearby? </p> <p>I can't vouch for their quality, but there seem to be several online communities that connect people from other countries living in Norway. </p> <p>In the past, I have also moved to a new place with a husband, and even though it was in the same country and there was no language barrier, it was isolating. I'm sure the language thing makes it that much harder -- sending warm thoughts your way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698408 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:06:10 +0000 harmonica 698408@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's really great if you can find some of the ideas working for you. Social media is a strange place, but electronic relations can be just as real as RL relations. Especially when you have such a warm, accepting and respectful community like YLF </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ot--feeling-helpless-and-lonely#post-698401 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:44:38 +0000 ramya 698401@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Harmonica trust me I consider you my friend (I know that may sound strange)... but then knowing few of you who were already in Norway helped me a lot when I was moving... Kinda saying my brain look you already know some one there... So there you go... Dont ever hesitate giving advice to me... It helps :)...</p> <p>I like the themed week idea... Gives something to look forward to :)</p> <p>Traci thank you so much,,, This is a long term move... </p>