https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 04 May 2026 10:58:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-229515 Sun, 10 Oct 2010 06:34:59 +0000 Kari 229515@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs to you, Michelle. I'm too late to add suggestions, but hope that the weekend was less stressful than anticipated and that the positive comments from this thread are ringing in your ears. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228816 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 21:28:56 +0000 Angie 228816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know we think you walk on water, Michelle :)</p> <p>I had another idea: black Jones dress slacks with a lovely blouse, shirt or jacket. Doesn't Mum like you in black slacks? I am trying to suggest the items that make you feel good AND which Mum likes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228734 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 17:51:53 +0000 Jenava 228734@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, of course you are gorgeous, and it's ridiculous that your mom is suggesting that a woman's value in a relationship is measured by her lack of body mass. </p> <p>I know - it's obvious - but I just wanted to say it "out loud". Corey is lucky to have you, and I am confident that you will look great this weekend. </p> <p>I also know how easy it is for someone like your mom to make you feel bad about yourself even if you looked like a super model! Like others have suggested, just try to keep a good perspective and avoid too much nastiness. Good luck; I am rooting for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228683 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 16:42:56 +0000 Lisa 228683@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wish your family would back off about your weight. But if they did, then they would probably find something else to pick on you about. Well you like beautiful to me and you have been building a very fab wardrobe too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228588 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 14:44:53 +0000 Angie 228588@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, have you decided what to wear yet? We are here to help you get it right. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228576 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 14:31:00 +0000 Debbie 228576@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle I will be thinking about you this weekend. I think your Mom should be very proud of you and what you have accomplish you are a wonderful young woman and Your outfits are always and inspriration to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228563 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 14:12:01 +0000 Barbara 228563@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, I am sorry you were hurt by unkind remarks. Everyone here feels the same about you. YOU ARE FAB! Just keep that in the back of your mind.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228554 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:46:02 +0000 astraldaeva 228554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand how you feel, to a certain extent. My MIL is obsessed with weight and food, although she's never cut me down, since I've been consistently losing weight over the last year or so. However, since it's not weight, it's other things--I'm a different religion from her, different political orientation, hubby and I live away from her and the family (which is somehow my fault)--believe me, even if you were whatever physical proportions she considered perfect, she would find something else to be negative about. I know that's depressing, in a way, but what I have spent the last 1 1/2 years learning is that it literally has NOTHING to do with ME. She would do this no matter who my husband brought home, because she does it to him as well, and to other people. </p> <p>Hang in there, gorgeous! Sending love and hugs from the South!</p> <p>~M </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228546 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:27:23 +0000 lady 228546@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ahhh...this is probably too late to make a bit of difference as I assume you're well on your way. I can empathize completely here as I've been in this same situation. Having put on additional weight since the last time I saw my family, I'll probably have similiar concerns next month.</p> <p>I find that a jacket always makes me feel put together and it's great at concealing the extra I have around my waist. If you've got a jacket packed with you, pull it out when you'd like a bit more coverage. The added structure makes me feel a lot better about the situation.</p> <p>Hugs, dear. You ARE beautiful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228530 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 11:41:35 +0000 Kristen 228530@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Michelle, I dread family gatherings for just about the same reasons. My mother is infamous for dropping those bombs on me no matter how much I prepare in advance. If I wear a great outfit, she comments on my hair. If I have a killer haircut, it's my makeup. If I get all 3 lined up, it's my weight. There's no winning.</p> <p>Sarah absolutely nailed it: as long as you are happy with you, you will be able to withstand whatever comes, and it is more than likely more about her than it is you. Will Corey be there too? Because that is when I rely on my husband the most, to be my emotional backup if it starts to wear me down. It's great to have someone in my corner at times like that. I am sure he is there for you too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228517 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 06:33:51 +0000 Sparky 228517@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh boy, Michelle. </p> <p>Sarah said it all very well.</p> <p>Many, many hugs to you. </p> <p>Another vote for that amazing cobalt blue dress. I love it to the nth degree on you and I know you must feel absolutely smashing in it. Consider it your armor to get you through Thanksgiving Day! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228438 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 03:46:00 +0000 Michelle 228438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just love you ladies. Thank you for the encouragement; it means more than I can say.<br /> Auburn: never feel the need to apologize for sight references. I'm just about impossible to offend in this respect. :)<br /> Julie: tried-and-true sounds about right for me this weekend. :)<br /> Angie and Scarlet: Strongly considering the cobalt dress for thanksgiving dinner. </p> <p>Again, thank you ladies so much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228386 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:55:17 +0000 Maya 228386@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ugh, I always feel stressed for you when I read these posts, Michelle. I don't know what to say because I'd hate to steer you in the wrong direction, but I just wanted to send you my well wishes and support. I can't echo what the other ladies have said enough. If anything happens that you need to vent about, you know I'm a text message away.</p> <p>Hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228369 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:29:56 +0000 Lena 228369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, you're amazing and beautiful both inside and out. Please remember that no matter what anyone says. </p> <p>I don't have any suggestions, just wishing you a good weekend. I hope it goes smoothly and there's as little family stress as possible. Hang in there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228358 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:05:56 +0000 Angie 228358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, this is so hard and I'm sending through healing hugs and outfit support.</p> <p>To cut to the chase - doesn't Mum love that cobalt blue dress? If so, add hose and pumps and layer over a jacket or trench coat. And above all, I know you feel fabulous in that dress too - WHICH IS MOST IMPORTANT. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228304 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 00:34:50 +0000 Auburn 228304@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle,<br /> I wasn't aware of your blindness when I wrote my post. I am now deep into your eyeronic blog and, as a fellow wordsmith, am loving your facility with the English language, not to mention the substance! Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for my suggestions about reading/printing the YLF posts which like seem really thoughtless and insensitive. That said, your blog makes me feel totally confident that you have myriad ways of accessing YLF info which fit your needs, so the content of my suggestions stands. Take care of yourself this weekend! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228288 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 23:50:52 +0000 catgirl 228288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, I just want to send a hug and say your posts are some of the most inspiring to me style-wise here. I am sorry you even have to think about this kind of issue - these are not the kind of feelings a family reunion should bring! Please know that you are gorgeous as you are. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228281 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 23:35:06 +0000 Auburn 228281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like Scarlet, I don't have the background/history here but your post provided more than enough info for me to hate that you're having to go into a fun holiday time stressing about what to wear for someone else's eyes (and judgments)! I can totally understand why you'd be feeling so anxious.<br /> A few weeks ago, I made a general YLF comment about how I'm continually and pleasantly surprised by how enduringly and consistently positive the women on this site are towards one another. In trying to look quickly at some of your past posts to get a sense of wardrobe options (in response to your actual question), I saw that this outpouring of praise and cheerleading is no less prominent in your case. So, it sounds like you're getting lots of good thoughts about clothing. My thought is that perhaps over the weekend or whenever you're feeling put down or generally crappy, go take a look at your past posts and, more importantly, the comments you received. I can't help but think they'll act as a much-needed boost and affirmation of your many assets. If you won't be logging on this weekend, print some out and take them with you. Seriously! You are loved here! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228264 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 23:13:52 +0000 Katiepea 228264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle, you have impeccable taste with clothes. I know you featured a while back, a lovely combo featuring a watercolour scarf, I believe. Would something like this be suitable? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228124 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 20:01:01 +0000 Scarlet 228124@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I never saw you looking anything less than smashing around here, so I don't have any specific recommendations. I do recall that I really liked that cobalt dress on you and I think it was very flattering. I have to say I don't have the whole history on this, but I was pretty stunned by your story. Like jaw dropping. Families can be tough. I hope that eventually you are able to change these interactions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228085 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:48:36 +0000 Rosie 228085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Being weeks behind on the forum due to work and vacation, I haven't seen your newer items!! I of course trust these ladies' opinions. I will try to take a look at some pics and add some ideas. I just wanted to send you a big hug and echo all the sentiments above about the amazing woman you are and the awesome clothes you have at your disposal. Mothers are tough, and I agree with Sarah that it's more about her than you! </p> <p>You are lovely. And will look amazing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228073 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:34:00 +0000 Vani 228073@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle I have nothing but endless admiration for you and your fabulous style. Big (hugs). I face the same with my MIL and I can only imagine how it could be with mothers. Please chant to yourself "I am a strong, smart, successful, tremendously stylish and all round INCREDIBLE woman" because you are. </p> <p>Outfit wise are we talking about the KC red blouse, because I concur, it looks stunning on you. It will suit the casual mood and settings while being comfortable. Thinking of Thanksgiving food always makes me wish I was wearing sweatpants with an elastic band with a oversized tee, he he. The sweet pea top + jeans + moto jacket is my all time favourite outfit on you. So is the cobalt dress. Just stunning. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228066 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:26:59 +0000 Laura 228066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I agree with Julie (and everyone else), but especially I agree with Julie about the red blouse. That is just stunning on you. Chin up, you will look beautiful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228046 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:13:17 +0000 RoseandJoan 228046@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh sweetheart, I'm sending you many hugs. </p> <p>How about an outfit involving your red soft silk blouse, are you wanting to wear one of your new items or something tried and tested? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228040 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:07:52 +0000 biscuitsmom 228040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sarah is 1000% right! I think you are a incredible lady and very stylish, to boot! I am SO sorry that you have to deal with this garbage...why is it that mothers especially, have the ability to cut into you like no one else? I can still hear my mom's voice saying really nasty things about me many years later....Holidays can be so stressful...try and take a little 'me time' throughout your weekend, even if you have to say you have a bad headache and need to lie down for awhile.....remind yourself that what YOU think of yourself is much more important than anyone else's opinion of you... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228038 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:04:06 +0000 chewyspaghetti 228038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have any clothing suggestions, but I just wanted to send a hug. I know this is an ongoing issue with your mom- and I am so sorry. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228023 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 17:42:32 +0000 Sarah 228023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Michelle.<br /> First of all, you're an amazing woman.<br /> Second of all, you have stunning clothes in your wardrobe. Clothes that are youthful, fresh, sophisticated and most of all YOU.<br /> You can't dress for others. I know the comments are hurtful, but you will always feel best when you know you look your best. Please, please don't let them win.<br /> I love my Mama but she also says things and I just have to remind myself that it's her way of dealing with her own insecurities. It isn't fair to me at all, but I can't let those comments ruin the joys that I have.<br /> On a more practical note, the outfit that comes to mind initially is your Sweet Pea top, brown leather jacket, and jeans. It's very young, fun, and flattering, but not fussy at all. Is that a doable option for you? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/only-semi-ot-very-stressed-about-dressing-for-family-visit#post-228016 Thu, 07 Oct 2010 17:34:43 +0000 Michelle 228016@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As some of you know, I have an ongoing struggle with my family, who tend to be quite critical of my weight. This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada, which means we'll all be going to spend a weekend with my parents at their lovely country home. I'm writing now seeking help with a problem I'm having.<br /> I'm always a bit anxious about these visits and try to preempt as many weight-related comments as possible. I plan outfits ahead of time and try to pick options that will make me appear to advantage and not draw unwelcome criticism. But because of a real beauty of a comment delivered earlier this week, my anxiety is greatly compounded for this visit.<br /> Mom and I were talking about Corey, and she was inquiring about how he's doing emotionally. When I gave her a very positive report, the talk eventually moved to how she thought I'd been very supportive of him during a difficult time. But then she comes out with this: "But I guess he's been wupportive of you too, right? I mean, especially considering your weight."<br /> I was too stunned by that one to respond at the time, then too upset to discuss it calmly later in the day. She then got bogged down with a whack of house guests, and a discussion like that wouldn't have been appropriate. I know the talk will need to happen at some point, and that's not why I'm writing. I now need help to figure out what to wear! I'm feeling more than usually sensitive about all this and am second-guessing everything. So, if you have advice on some safe, flop-proof, not-too-trendy outfits that are as slimming as possible, I'd be most grateful. Hard-core waist-surrendering is out of the question, as are leggings. We'll be in a casual setting where beautiful, cool fall weather is expected. Fortunately there are no dress code considerations to worry about apart from Thanksgiving dinner, and I think I have that under control (black dress pants with a purple, scoop-neck top with chain detail around the neckline that she likes on me a lot, or alternatively my cobalt dress if I have room in my bag).</p> <p>Please pardon my neuroticism, and thank you for your help! </p>