YouLookFab Forum » Topic: One for the book, part 2!

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: One for the book, part 2! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 01:07:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Lisa on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2/page/2#post-340364 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:11:15 +0000 Lisa 340364@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm sorry but someone with a rude comment, should just be slapped. I'd have said, "thanks for noticing" and left them feeling awkward without a further discussion of their chosen topic. biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2/page/2#post-340315 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 18:41:08 +0000 biscuitsmom 340315@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks, everyone! MaryK, I really like that 'reframing' idea! Think Im going to try that on my sister too..she drives me up the wall most every day Great comments too....Michelle, I think you read my mind with your first reaction! Exactly what I thought....great idea that you had too....San, I definitely will try that, thanks! Linn & MaryK, I think what really bugs here is that when she first began working there (I had already been there several yrs) she had medium brown hair and after a few months, she dyed her hair red, in a shade very similar to mine...she kept it that way for several yrs and now is letting her grey show a lot more than it ever did and I think it bugs the heck out of her she's a *lot* more grey (about 40%) and I am about 10-15% so she feels compelled to point out mine..aaggh You all have been SO great helping me deal with this! I truly appreciate it MsMary on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2/page/2#post-340282 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 17:27:34 +0000 MsMary 340282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love that, Linn. "Wow, you seem to be REALLY interested in my hair. What's up with THAT?" Linn on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2/page/2#post-340237 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:57:10 +0000 Linn 340237@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm curious as to why she is so concerned about your hair. If she starts in again the next time you see her I would ask her why and make her explain herself. Or you could simply say you joined Going Gray Looking Great. san on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-340236 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:49:09 +0000 san 340236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sometimes we have to grin and look the other way but this lady has gone way overboard, especially with the motioning you over to her and then touching you. That would be extra hard to take. I think you should consider her off her rocker and don't expect normalcy from her, and keep your distance. You don't have to answer her or respond to her at all. That is ofcourse unless she touches you again, but hopefully you'll never be close enough. Michelle on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-340233 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:30:29 +0000 Michelle 340233@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm not going to lie...snarky comments were the first to come to mind as I read the thread, even though I was unable to say anything of the sort when faced with a similar situation myself. In the first scenario, my first reaction was "wow, you've really gotten obnoxious and rude since I worked with you." Not remotely appropriate, I acknowledge -- you've received far more productive suggestions here. The second situation, however, is flat-out intrusive and must be nipped in the bud. How about something like "yes, I love natural colour on me, and it saves so much money!" MsMary on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337291 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:31:14 +0000 MsMary 337291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm with Patty. She is being WAY over-the-top inappropriate and it's time to fight back. I'm liking Team WTF is Your Problem, myself. But Team How Sweet of You to Notice is good, too. Actually, that might be good. In psychology it's called "reframing." Instead of thinking "Oh, man. I have to put up with Former Boss being horribly inappropriate with me and I don't know how to defend myself, and it's just awful," you think to yourself "I'm going to the store and Ol' Jerky Former Boss is going to do her Jerky Thing, and this is how I'm going to handle it." And then you DECIDE what you are going to do. It sounds like you aren't the confrontational type, so you might want to experiment with Team Kill Her With Kindness. At this point it's become a pattern. Next time she makes a remark about your hair, you can pick one of the suggestions here, and say: "How sweet of you to notice!" or "Yes, I just LOVE this color!" or "It always brightens my day when I come in here and you pay such close attention to my hair color!" And no matter how she responds, you can keep repeating something similar, all the while being inwardly amused that she is so obsessed with this issue that is none of her business. Or if you think she has really crossed the line with the touching, if she tries it again, you can be prepared, and grab her by the wrist, look her straight in the eye, and say something like: "Sorry, no touching!" or "No touching. I have cooties." or "No touching. I don't know where your hands have been!" or "No touching. I mean it." Repeat as necessary and I bet she will be speechless. Good luck! You can do this!!! biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337253 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:47:17 +0000 biscuitsmom 337253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wish I could say that! I just have a *really* hard time being confrontational/standing up for myself.....I *need* to work on that lol, Steve sure has been! You wouldnt believe the trouble and drama he's been thru, especially lately! Probably a *good thing* I only see him once a week or so! I am SURE she never wouldve said/done that if my husband had been there! Patty on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337238 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:38:19 +0000 Patty 337238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A simple--"What the f*** is your problem??" next time she does anything--be really out of character --you weren't ready the first couple times now you will be---she is out of line if she thinks she is that familiar and safe with you!!! (I can say all that but if it were me I'd probably just assume my beta/don't want to hurt anyone self and slink back to the car) This buddy Steve has been a lighting rod for you lately eh??? biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337231 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:32:27 +0000 biscuitsmom 337231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ lol....LOVE it, Joy! Wish I could pull that off! ps- knowing her, she'd probably say 'no, it looks dull and drab' or something like that-aagghh Anonymous on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337227 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:30:27 +0000 Anonymous 337227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Isn't it a lovely shade!? I'm becoming a silver fox. biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337226 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:30:26 +0000 biscuitsmom 337226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ LOL, Lynne! Man, I felt like it! I would like to either wait in the car while my buddy Steve shops (but I pick up my groceries at the same time) or just give her a *very* wide berth, but she is friends with him, *always* wants to talk whenver she sees him and generally works at the service center counter you MUST go near when you enter/exit the store...so there is no avoiding her The schedule changes very week so I never know what days she will be working..... lynne on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337219 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:24:14 +0000 lynne 337219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ok, now its time to forget being nice. Bite her. biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-337205 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:13:33 +0000 biscuitsmom 337205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ AAAGGGHHH......Just saw her again and she motioned for me to come over to her- actually lifted a section of my hair(!) and said 'grey is not just on top, huh'? WTH makes people think they have the right to physically touch you?? I just looked at her and backed away, shaking my head...didnt know *what* to say! biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336681 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 20:46:27 +0000 biscuitsmom 336681@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was just *so* suprised! She was about the last person (I worked with) that I expected a snarky word from! Even if I had thought it, I'd certainly never say it....especially telling me that 'she'd been meaning to tell me that for quite a while'.....what, I *dont* have a mirror? Like I said, I had a little grey while I was working anyway-lol....thank you all SO much! You've made me feel much better Carole on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336558 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:34:49 +0000 Carole 336558@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, it's amazing how insensitive some people are. I would have been speechless! I probably would have said "Nice to see you too!" lynne on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336550 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:28:26 +0000 lynne 336550@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Another reason the "sweet" reply works. It can offer the offender a face saving "out". I had all kinds of practice with 4th graders. biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336165 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:49:54 +0000 biscuitsmom 336165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks, girl...she said 'Ive been meaning to tell you that' after she said it, so it wasnt a spur of the moment thought.... like I said, she's not *exactly* a fashion plate either! NOT that I am! lol....she wears 'mom' jeans and dated tops when she's not working and comes to shop....didnt help that I was feeling -and looking- especially frumpy and ill put-together that day! Bookarella on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336125 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:38:53 +0000 Bookarella 336125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Some people just don't think before they speak. Sorry that happened to you, but don't let it get you down. Hugs to you! biscuitsmom on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-336099 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:14:25 +0000 biscuitsmom 336099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you *all* for your kind responses! I guess it just really bugged me cuz I thought we were 'kindred spirits' or whatever....she is about 10-12 yrs older than I am and dyed her hair red (similar to my natural shade) several yrs ago and Ive told her it looks great several times...I noticed she is showing more grey recently, so maybe thats why she commented on mine? Im 50, she's in her early 60's Im guessing...It *really* irritated me that she said it SO loudly, in front of about 15-20 people...most of whom I know I need to keep shopping there, as long as my friend Steve needs me to take him (he has no car-and no plans to get one anytime soon!) otherwise I'd go back to shopping there once in a blue moon...Im already more depressed cuz Ive gained weight since I stopped working and need to use either a cane or my walker....I push a shopping cart if I use my cane and shop alone...if DH comes along, he pushes the cart and I need my walker to go that far... MsMary on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335965 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 15:48:05 +0000 MsMary 335965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, lynne! That's fantastic! I have to remember that one! That's a much better alternative than getting all medieval on them, a la my suggestion. lynne on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335953 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 15:21:30 +0000 lynne 335953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Take a tip from southern belles. "Aren't you sweet to notice" said with a smile makes the other person look like a total ass and you like a saint. OK, so maybe it's a little passive aggressive..... Aunty on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335856 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 08:10:31 +0000 Aunty 335856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I give up!! Who are these people, have they all landed from outerspace??? What is going on??? Head up and move away, she is not worth your time. Niki Lea on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335794 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 03:37:39 +0000 Niki Lea 335794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Man, some people can be such dorks. I would've been tempted to say, "Thanks. Did you notice that your butt is attached to your head?" Elly on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335783 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 03:17:54 +0000 Elly 335783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I once had a fellow classmate that was old enough to be my mother stand up in the middle of a group discussion in class and turn to me and say, "You know you have white hair right?" I just wish I would have been quick enough to say, "You know you're the one who gave it to me, right?" argh! Debora on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335736 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 02:19:39 +0000 Debora 335736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, that's not cool. Some people are just tactless. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hugs to you (and also to Biscuit)! Jonesy on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335709 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 01:36:33 +0000 Jonesy 335709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ People really have no tact or shame! Good grief! I always wish I had some sort of snappy comment (a la MaryK) but I'm usually too startled to think of anything. Instead, I have this running through my brain: "Did she really say what I think she just said??" Melissa on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335706 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 01:33:48 +0000 Melissa 335706@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ugh. I usually swallow my sarcastic comments when people say this sort of thing, but man, sometimes people are inappropriate! Big sympathetic hugs. I know how it is. I just came back from a professional event, and by the end of it my greatest wish for my colleagues is that they could learn to say "You look great" and then stop talking. All the things that follow that opener are inevitably either inappropriate or insulting. rae on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335647 Tue, 19 Apr 2011 23:33:28 +0000 rae 335647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bleah! Hugs to you... that was pretty uncalled for. :T Maybe it *is* the moon... Anonymous on "One for the book, part 2!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/one-for-the-book-part-2#post-335632 Tue, 19 Apr 2011 23:12:31 +0000 Anonymous 335632@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think there's a full moon.