https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 18 Apr 2026 18:11:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766595 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 18:46:37 +0000 LaPed 1766595@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, that is too cute. I was never a hot dog for Halloween, but I was a Nestle Crunch bar one year. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766578 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 18:13:45 +0000 Janet 1766578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LP, the princess culture comment reminded me of this meme, which I love. One of my dear friends has triplet daughters, and one of them is totally the hot dog girl. When I was a kid, I would have been more comfortable with the princess costume, but the older I get, the more hot dog I become. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766527 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 15:24:51 +0000 eleventhall 1766527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Really enjoyed this article. Thanks for sharing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766511 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 13:20:29 +0000 LaPed 1766511@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So great to hear everyone's perspectives.</p> <p>I will say this: I'd thought "tomboy" was an outdated designation, too -- until I had a kid. Among young girls right now, "princess culture" is so prevalent in a way that I don't remember it being when I was growing up (but maybe it just wasn't on my radar). &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766490 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 09:34:00 +0000 Bijou 1766490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia, Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club was the coolest girl in my book, I wanted to be her, not Molly Ringwald! I enjoyed this article very much too and think that at times our language is deficient in being able to accurately describe the diversity of people. Thank goodness women are more than Stepford Wives.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766460 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 02:53:18 +0000 Jaime 1766460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thought provoking - Angie had once labelled me as elegant tomboy and although I do not see myself as either, I was flattered to the moon. I was a bookish, non-athletic, morose girl and teen. Pretty much the Ally Sheedy character in the Breakfast Club (as I was told repeatedly at the time) for those of you that remember that. Not traditional gender behaviour, not tomboy either. If girly girl is ok, then tomboy probably should be too - as a description as some forms of activity rather than the person themselves. Not sure at all, but thanks for the interesting discussion! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766448 Sun, 08 Jan 2017 01:50:57 +0000 MsMaven 1766448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating discussion. To me, "tomboy" is an outdated term that I haven't heard in ages, so I was surprised to see the article.&nbsp;</p> <p>I grew up in the 1950s when sex roles were strictly enforced in school and church. This applied to clothing as well, although it had begun to change a bit. Girls had to wear skirts or dresses to school--no exceptions. I'm still haunted by some of the rules regarding what was appropriate for girls to wear. I remember one girl--think it was sophomore year--who was sent home to change because she'd worn a gray sweatshirt to school! (No--we didn't wear sweatshirts much then. They were mainly gray and were for workers or males in sports.) The blouse she'd worn underneath was wrinkled, so she had to go home. No wrinkled clothes either! Blouses had to be starched and ironed, although you wouldn't get sent home for this. This started to change when I was in college, and some female students started wearing ski clothes to morning classes claiming they'd be in ski class later in the day. I thought of myself as kind of a tomboy because I liked to do physical things.&nbsp;</p> <p>So many rules then. If you played a game or sport with a boy, the girl had to let him win, or his ego would be crushed. Even if only playing croquet.</p> <p>I was too tall and too skinny (born a decade too early--before Twiggy was popular) to be a girly girl, so by high school graduation I aspired to New York City sophisticate--or what I imagined that was from movies and magazines. My Mom suffered indignities in trying to get me to be more girly. I knew what I wanted. No ruffles!</p> <p>I do have trouble with the concept of racism related to tomboyishness, probably because I grew up in a nearly lily-white world until high school.&nbsp;<br />Not to say my culture wasn't infused with racism, because it was.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766328 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 15:35:33 +0000 kkards 1766328@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>in an age/society where it is the culture norm for women to wear pants and play sports/go to the gym, and a young man is now the face of cover girl....i'm not sure what this term means.....or why we need it.&nbsp;<br />i guess as i think on it more and more, i come back to why do we need this....what exactly are we trying to say..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766321 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 15:06:53 +0000 Janet 1766321@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another interesting discussion. And I really like Ledonna's points about needing to name and categorize everything, particularly in a time when gender is beginning to be seen as more fluid and less of a box to be checked. </p> <p>I never related to the "tomboy" thing as a child. I was not athletic in the least. I was bookish and quiet, and my mom didn't let me wear jeans until I was 12. But I had friends who proudly wore their tomboy status. I have a hard time with the term being applied to women now, and I can't come up with any good terms for that element of masculine ease in dressing, but I certainly sport more of it now than I did when I was younger. So it's funny to think that the older I get, the more "tomboy" I get. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766308 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 14:20:22 +0000 Alexandra 1766308@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting read. I grew up running around with boys, with grass stains and knee holes that often matched theirs. I wasn't the only girl in our group. When I learned English, I found out this was referred to as tomboy but never knew about the history of the word. The Slovakian word is the equivalent of "wild child" and is used for both girls ("divoska" = wild girl-child) and boys ("divoch" = wild boy-child) so no gender implications there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766304 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 13:55:20 +0000 Ledonna N. 1766304@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have read this thread with great intrest along with the linked article.</p> <p>I have to say that from my standpoint this article is slanted towards a certain % of white women. Taking that into account I tried to read it again with an objective mind.</p> <p>The reference to slaves and how the woman disguising herself as a young man then following the cultural and accepted customs of that time. So as that she would not be found out I really would not expect anything less. </p> <p>People in general feel more comfortable if they can place another in a box. For example rich, middle class, poor, black, white, Asian Hispanic. Titles make people feel safe. I think calling a young lady a "tomboy " may make some or the majority feel comfortable. </p> <p>The more we as a society evolve the less comfortable we become with outdated monikers. But still what persist to me is that we stll need a definition for what our brain cannot understand. </p> <p>If we cannot understand the who,when why,what where of it all. Most tend to get stuck in that place.</p> <p>I grew up being called a tomboy. While I did not care about the name or for that matter any title. I chucked the traditional norm of what a,woman or girl should be. Even on ylf titles are still while major importance when trying to define our style or fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766264 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 04:58:28 +0000 Rambling Ann 1766264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Carla - agree, it's more than just practicality. Pinstripes, even Annie Hall's ties. There's a piece of borrowing from boyfriend's closet that can be sexy too.</p> <p>I found this <a rel="nofollow" href="http://the-reed.com/pages/about-us">blog</a>, the "blog formerly known as Tomboy Style" LOL, and I like this quote from the about page: "she found mobility to be a core tenet of tomboy style—if you can't hop a fence in it, it's probably not tomboy style." &nbsp;</p> <p>Another thing that's interesting are the types of clothing that used to be considered male gendered, but now are not: jeans, cargos, sneaker, etc. It's hard to think of female originating clothing that has gone toward neutral. It's finally starting to happen with skin care, of all places. And footie socks. And shapewear. But not anything worn on the public interface. Surely guys would find infinity scarves as useful as women.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766248 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 02:47:05 +0000 Carla 1766248@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not just rugged, RA, because there is also tailored and refined shapes - jackets, trousers, button down shirts. Also, footwear like brogues. Certain hairstyles too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766223 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 01:00:20 +0000 Rambling Ann 1766223@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's not quite right, but the word that comes to mind for some of this is rugged, something that conveys the appealing durability and practicality of mens clothing, as opposed to the delicacy that frothy and frilliness implies for everything from fabric to cut to decoration.</p> <p>We are talking about clothes that you can do stuff in, rather than sitting-only shoes. There is an attraction for form over function that is not particularly linked to gender. Interesting how a&nbsp;rugged-looking man is a compliment, not so much for women.&nbsp;</p> <p>And here's a great synonym for tomboyish: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.dictionary.com/browse/hoydenish">hoydenish</a>, from Dutch, from the word for "heathen" as if that isn't loaded with cultural biases of the past. But I guess heathen was applied regardless of gender. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766212 Sat, 07 Jan 2017 00:36:53 +0000 Anonymous 1766212@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't help but think "tomboy" is an outdated term now. &nbsp; I think it used to be a word, when there were none, to describe girls who did not fit the prescribed feminine form. &nbsp;But those days are gone, as the language (and knowledge) we have to better express differences has vastly expanded.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766198 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 23:40:57 +0000 Isabel 1766198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>la Pedestrienne, yes, couldn't agree with you more. : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766191 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 23:15:22 +0000 LaPed 1766191@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isabel -- yes to new language! I think this points, once again, to our inability as a culture/society, to find genuine ways of talking about women's experiences/desires/aspirations without filtering ourselves through a masculine lens.&nbsp;</p> <p>runcarla -- "garçon manque" -- that does get freudian awfully fast, doesn't it?</p> <p>CWS -- that Julie Swanson piece is great. I like her willingness to play around with new terminology.</p> <p>Astrid -- I got labelled a tomboy as a kid without being particularly athletic or outdoorsy (that all came much later). I was just bookish and didn't wear pink or skirts!&nbsp;</p> <p>El Cee -- it's interesting, for so long women who wanted to be outdoorsy basically had to wear men's clothing, or miniaturized versions of it. Now the womens athletic wear industry has exploded and you can do basically anything in a pink skirt if you want. I think as activities become less gender-exclusive, the "tomboy" designation becomes less relevant.</p> <p>Deb -- two babies in the woods elevates you way beyond tomboy status -- no guy could manage that! ;)</p> <p>Suz -- your daughter is lucky to have you. We work pretty hard not to inadvertently push masculine norms on our almost 3 year old son. He likes pink and purple, and recently told me that he'd like a dress, because he doesn't have any yet! I'm a little baffled by the prevalence of hypermasculine buzzcuts and camo and such on very little boys -- just aesthetically I don't find it appealing, not to mention too much cultural/political baggage for young children to shoulder. I grew up with parents who never really pushed traditional gender roles too hard. I did not, as a child, associate women with make-up, jewelry, heels, fragility, etc. because so few of my female relatives embody that concept of femininity. So I never had the feeling that my gender didn't have room for me.&nbsp;</p> <p>I, too, find "garçonne" somewhat more appealing - but it's still using maleness/masculinity as the reference point. Big takeaway: finding non-binary ways to talk about personal style is very difficult! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766179 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 22:33:47 +0000 Isabel 1766179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It just hit me that "girly girl" isnt the line by which to measure how women dress, I think. It shouldn't be the starting point. It is a spectrum. I am definitely not a girly girl. I prefer clothes traditionally labeled as "menswear" . Ruffles make me shriek internally at the thought of wearing it. But I do like a dress.</p> <p> I think it is like a bell curve where most of us lie in an extended middle and not the extremes of girly girl or flat out men's clothes. We need knew language , definitely. Who would you say is similar to your style ? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766175 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 22:22:14 +0000 Isabel 1766175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So after thinking about this all afternoon and doing a bunch of Internet searches, I am in the dustbin category. The article is fantastic, btw. </p> <p>It seems that the word was relegated to character ( seen as rude ) or activity ( outdoors and sports ). I don't like that. It got me to thinking how rarely I have heard my teenagers use that word. And it has been about two girls that wear nothing but boys athletic shorts and t shirts ( even in winter time) yet sexuality and/or gender identification has never been part of the conversation regarding these two girls. It is simply that they buy their clothes in the boys department vs another girl who buys in the teen or woman's or thrifts... </p> <p>So do we really need to replace it ? I don't think so. Just like we take words and evolve their meanings into completely different things or create new language, why not drop certain language too ? : ) </p> <p>( though being a Francophile, I kinda like the "New Garconne". ; ) ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766152 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 21:07:11 +0000 cindysmith 1766152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Before reading the article, I would have suggested "androgynous"... But that feels wrong somehow. Androgyny is, to me, epitomized by Fabio Costa of "project runway" fame, or Emilio's creations in the PRAllStars androgyny challenge--he freaking nailed it.</p> <p>It was interesting to read the racially charged history of the word "tomboy", and now I just don't know what to call it. I am, however, reminded of the "what not to wear" episode where Stacy &amp; Clinton made over a female boxer who called herself the most feminine woman she knew (and she was right, somehow she was more feminine than all her very girly friends, perhaps her empowered attitude?). One of her final reveal outfits was a monochromatic grey pants/top/cardigan sweater combo that was so freaking rich looking, so feminine--and yet there was not a single girly frill to be found. the outfit would have worked just as well on a man IMO, and yet it wasn't androgynous the way we usually think of androgyny.</p> <p>Words like practical and empowered come to mind and yet they still feel like they're not-quite-right. Practical brings to mind a german mental patient uniform or something (which actually doesn't bother me, I'd totally rock that look LOL) and empowered brings to mind 80s shoulder pads and power suits. Being a non-girly-girl myself, I don't know what I'd call us. Tomboy feels wrong, because we are grown women; and because the racially charged history of the word bothers me (that's just me, though, it wouldn't bother me if any of you guys used it for yourselves).</p> <p><a href="https://julieaswanson.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/the-word-tomboy-can-we-come-up-with-something-better/" rel="nofollow">https://julieaswanson.wordpres.....ng-better/</a></p> <p>Still no answers in that link, but an interesting take on it. You handed me a full plate of food for thought, and this link just overflowed it.</p> <p>I'd say strong, but I don't want that to take away from the unbelievable strength I've seen in women who are girly girls.</p> <p>Quite the conundrum indeed </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766150 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 21:05:42 +0000 deb 1766150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This article is a good example of how language is a living, changing thing. Thank you for sharing. </p> <p>Oh, and I still consider myself as a tomboy. I can hunt, fish, survive in the wild, and do it with two babies. No matter what nationality, a female that can survive in a mans world is a tomboy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766144 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:52:42 +0000 Carla 1766144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>French translation is terrible! Garçon manque. Yuck! As if there is something lacking. Didn't the English have Teddy Girls? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766135 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:30:07 +0000 Astrid 1766135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's a good question and I have no idea. I love some tomboy vibes in my style, but I wouldn't describe myself as athletic/sporty/outdoorsy - those words paired with "tomboy" bring the German "burschikos" to mind and not in a good way, I don't really like that term. I looked up "burschikos" in the dictionary and I think the suggested translations are rather interesting. I do like devil-may-care, but it doesn't resonate when it comes to style. </p> <p>ETA<br /> They do translate a burschikoses Mädchen as tomboy, so maybe I always gave the term meaning it didn't have. And people who speak English as a first language didn't see it the same way. For me it seemed to be the better alternative to the German term, but maybe that's not true. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766127 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:02:30 +0000 El Cee 1766127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting piece... and thought provoking. It is tough to think of an alternative one-word style descriptor for "tomboy". Friends of mine who might be described as having a tomboy flair are spirited, active/athletic and outdoorsy. Their style might be "borrowed from the boys", but they still have a ton of feminine energy.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766113 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 19:04:55 +0000 Style Fan 1766113@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting article.&nbsp; Thanks for sharing.&nbsp; Lots to think about.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766105 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:49:27 +0000 Carla 1766105@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Garconne<br /> Dandy</p> <p>...still borrowed from the boys :-(</p> <p>Androgenous? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766094 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:31:58 +0000 Suz 1766094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a fabulous article! I really enjoyed it. Thank you for the link.&nbsp;</p> <p>A great question, too. My daughter is a "tomboy" who used to embrace the term but now (at 17) seems to chafe a bit with it. She's non-binary, not too sure where she is going but certain it will never involve being "girlie" in any way.&nbsp;</p> <p>Some woman have adopted the term "gentlewoman" but this describes a very different type of style than "tomboy" -- so it's not interchangeable.&nbsp;</p> <p>I hope some of our members with "tomboy" style will chime in!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766088 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:12:35 +0000 Isabel 1766088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting question...I will read the article and be back a little later. &nbsp; I am definitely not frilly but I like to be a little feminine. So can one like menswear and/or tomboy "wear" but still like a pink lipstick ? &nbsp;Fascinating.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-the-tomboy-moniker#post-1766083 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 18:05:23 +0000 LaPed 1766083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A friend of a friend published a great article in The Atlantic on the roots of the term tomboy. This isn't style-specific, but it definitely got me thinking about whether this is a term worth trying to reclaim or "own" or whether it's best to relegate it to the dustbin of history:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/01/tomboy/512258/?utm_source=feed">https://www.theatlantic.com/he.....ource=feed</a></p> <p>And what are some more empowering alternatives for us non-girly girls to describe ourselves?</p>