YouLookFab Forum » Topic: On purging... or not.

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: On purging... or not. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 05:47:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php rabbit on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1308194 Sat, 19 Jul 2014 18:21:58 +0000 rabbit 1308194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks Laura!  That was super illuminating, and actually kind of mirrored what I'd been going through, buying near multiples at the beginning of a style shift or wardrobe building, wanting to a race to a new look all at once instead of pacing it, and she has good tips. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1308155 Sat, 19 Jul 2014 17:20:11 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1308155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This post from Recovering Shopaholic seems very relevant: <a href="http://recoveringshopaholic.com/the-dark-side-of-style-redefinition/" rel="nofollow">http://recoveringshopaholic.co.....efinition/</a> Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307190 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:58:21 +0000 Elizabeth P 1307190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree Marlene... and part of the reason I've been trying to nail down descriptors, monkiers etc for myself (without much success I might add)(should get back on that).  I think if I could stand in front of a mirror, or a photo, and say "Is this x and y" that the process would be easier.  Because I can definitely love things that aren't "me".  And I totally get the white shirt thing LOL. Marlene on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307148 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:12:12 +0000 Marlene 1307148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ All this talk of purging has me thinking a lot as well.  I went through this whole exercise 5 years ago when I moved from San Diego to Seattle-area.  I went from a walk-in closet to a small not-walk-in closet.  I had to reduce my inventory by 3/4.  Now I am settled on a set number of hangers and a firm one-in-one out strategy.  Its working and I feel like i control my closet, rather than the closet controlling me.   Reading your posts makes me relive the state of mind I was in 5 years ago.  Lots of mulling and mulching about clothes and how much or how little.  I think the biggest score of the process was really pinpointing what my personal style is.  What I like,  what I like to wear.  That is definitely a part of the process.  Once you know what you LIKE, its easier to get rid of stuff that doesn't fit that scheme.   I still have several "just in case" items in there.  Things I like that I think IN THEORY should work.  Those items I force myself to style into an outfit to actually wear.  If I can do it easily with what I have and I FEEL like the outfit is works with my style then I give it a hanger.  If I try THREE TIMES to make it work and it just is too stubborn, then I pass it on.  It's that whole "everyone NEEEEEDS a crisp white shirt" concept.  I get one because I am supposed to have one but I just HATE wearing them.  Last fall I got rid of all the crisp white shirts and substituted flowy white blouses and it works for me.  Again, it is easier once you know what your personal style really is.   Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307117 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 15:27:09 +0000 Elizabeth P 1307117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes Suz, as you described, with a dose of "but it might be useful someday" thrown in that makes me keep the "meh" stuff.  I think I'm someone who needs the better replacement before I can purge... OH!!  LIGHTBULB!!  This probably stems from my pre-DYT and YLF days when I shopped twice a year, at three stores, and if they didn't have anything I liked, or that fit, I didn't get anything new.  So what I had had to continue to serve me.  And life went on.  And I spent my money on traveling or camera gear :).  But now the on-line world has opened up, and my interest has opened up, I'm shopping the same way, but every week!  And buying what I like... constantly.  Can't sustain this!  Nor do I want to, obviously, or I wouldn't be "talking" about it.  And it would make a whole lot more sense to determine my holes rather than trying to fill them first - could be they aren't even holes any more.  So, I'm going to go through spring (still fresh in my mind, and still out for cool summer evenings) and summer things, and set aside pieces I don't love.  And make a list if there is a true hole left by that.  Which I WILL NOT FILL UNTIL NEXT YEAR.  I can do that. Yay!  I'm actually excited to have arrived at this, simple as it may seem.  Thanks esp to you Suz for somehow getting to me with that last post. Suz on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307102 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 15:07:49 +0000 Suz 1307102@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah! Okay. Well, I think I understand your issue better Elizabeth. (And isn't it interesting how different we all are on this? Fascinating what clothes reveal...)  Anyway. For you, it's just plain: Too much stuff, can't keep track of it, can't wear it all. And that feels like a burden.  I think that once you have the space on your own, with the questions you've got here in mind, you'll be much more efficient.  Do I love it and want to wear it right now? Or is it just an "okay" piece that completes an outfit (maybe) but not in a very satisfactory way. That's become my standard.  If the former, keep.  If the latter -- possibly keep for now but make a list -- go looking for the upgrade.  And if I don't want to wear it now, maybe I truly don't need it. Except if it is for the opposite season. Edit in season or at the end of the season only. Don't go tossing stuff out of season. (I have made that mistake in the past.)  And I love love love LOVE Sadie's word "retire." From now on, I am retiring my clothing.  Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307092 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 14:42:14 +0000 Elizabeth P 1307092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for the additional comments... yet more great fodder for my brain. I actually don't have guilt over pieces that aren't working, if I know WHY they don't work, and if I know of a good home, it's not an issue.  I seem to get stuck when the pieces DO work, but maybe only 60% :).  If that makes any sense.  I feel they may as well keep hanging there.  Just in case.  And I don't feel bad about having a large wardrobe at the moment either, I'm just tired of feeling overwhelmed by it all, and not loving it all. Generally when I buy pieces, I love,or at least like them.  Rarely do i get a piece home and regret it.  I just have too much to enjoy them.  I do feel annoyed at myself at pieces that end up languishing even thought I DO like them - the "buy for your life now" issue which we all seem to have.  Like the sun dress I bought two summers ago that is still unworn... we joked it was my "Maui dress".  Little did I know it was going to actually wait until I was in Maui to wear it!  (still no plans ) It was/is a victim of too dressy for work, and not enough date nights. I think the strategy that makes the most sense to help ME get unstuck is the "what is the worst that can happen" question.  Well, I won't end up naked.  I may have an outfit combo I can't experiment with.  I may generate an orphan.  Whoop-tee-doo. DH is taking the DD's away for a week, so I am dedicating some time to spread things out and go through some of the tougher areas.  And it's going to be GREAT.  I can tell.  You lot have all really really helped me keep my momentum and interest going, given me approaches, things to think about.  And for that I thank you, immensely. Here's to the next 40! Alexandra on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307070 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 13:55:49 +0000 Alexandra 1307070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, lots of great thoughts here. I am struck by the amount of guilt here. I get it to some extent but then I also don't. I tend to look at clothes as hypotheses. As in, my hypothesis is that this piece will work in my wardrobe. And if it doesn't, ok, out it goes. No guilt. But I learn from the pieces that don't work - analyze what specifically didn't work so I can avoid making or buying another one just like that. Back on topic - 40 items is a great start. Good for you! Sadie on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1307014 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 13:07:05 +0000 Sadie 1307014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I too have been editing my closet these many months. It's just semantics, but when I get rid of something I call it "retired"- allows me to let it go with a sense of respect for what that item once meant to me and might mean to the next person who gets it (even if it's the rag bin!) chadya on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306998 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 12:19:04 +0000 chadya 1306998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/  OP I hear you on the Wartime thing My Mother lived with rationing and should would go nuts when we were kids and used eggs to bake, "Oh so many eggs!". But you know what we have to get over that as adults in our own houses and yes that was a horrible time and shaped who they were. Anyway as I have posted here before, if you/we are not wearing stuff get rid of it and hopefully somebody else will get some use of it.  Donate while the items are still in good enough shape and style while they can use it.  Stuff taking up space in one's closet makes you nuts and it is just one more thing to manage. Gigi on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306888 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 04:05:15 +0000 Gigi 1306888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I haven't read all the responses, but I agree that it's helpful to analyze why you have a problem purging the unworn things in the first place. I know that my own issue with purging is guilt—I don't have a lot of money, so when I see something hanging in my closet that I can't wear because it doesn't fit right or doesn't go with anything, etc., I have terrible guilt and dread that I've done something absolutely awful and horribly wasteful. So for me it's about accepting that I'm limited and, quite frankly, that I'm not God and can't always know up front how something is going to work out. Of course, after you finish analyzing why you have a difficulty purging, then it's time to analyze why you bought the unwanted items in the first place, which is just as fun! But hey, great job in getting rid of the 40 items! That is an accomplishment, yes? Anonymous on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306874 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 03:30:44 +0000 Anonymous 1306874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow Elizabeth! Thanks for mentioning this on tricia's thread. I had completely missed it. What a great post and compelling discussion that ensued. I have a lot of food for thought. You did a great job getting rid of your first 40 things. I hope it gets easier and easier to move out enough things to make your closet your truly "happy place". I'm sorry I'm too pooped to write more, but I wish you the best of luck with this project. Cheers! tricia w. on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306785 Fri, 18 Jul 2014 02:03:36 +0000 tricia w. 1306785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I could have written that part about hanging onto things just because they kind of fit, or I can wear it under something. Then I came to terms with the fact that I never do those things. I'm tired of feeling guilty over mis-spent money, and every time I opened my closet doors, thats what I felt. My editing has taken over a year. I'm done to a quarter of the clothes I used to have, and today I decided to remove everything from my closet I don't wear, and put it in a bag in the garage. If I miss it, I can retrieve it; but honestly, I don't see anything coming back in.  I wish you much success with your editing - it really is freeing. Caro in Oz on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306606 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 22:52:44 +0000 Caro in Oz 1306606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think 40 items is brilliant, it may not feel like enough but it is a fabulous start imo :) My wardrobe which includes coats, jewellery, footwear & bags (so everything except underwear & sleep wear) is 191 items. When I started working on rationalising my wardrobe just before I joined YLF I had around 220. So the numbers haven't changed that much but my attitude has AND my wardrobe actually functions :) IMO the only place to start is with tracking what we wear. Until I started doing this I had NO IDEA what I was actually wearing. Until I knew what I was wearing I didn't know if I "needed" something so it was difficult to let it go. Also tracking the CPW made me realise rather than buying clothes I didn't wear I'd rather have a holiday or go to the theatre or opera - in the clothes I did wear. I track in Stylebook so it also forced me to take photos of everything I was keeping - whew. I tell you when it came down to trying to get a good photo of a meh piece of clothing or letting it go I was able to be ruthless :) As Angie says remember to have fun :) Beth Ann on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306375 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 19:25:54 +0000 Beth Ann 1306375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What a thread!  I was thinking of starting my own this morning....."Why I don't believe in Purge-atory."  How about that for borrowing quasi-religious language?  It sounds to me, Elizabeth, that you are making changes that will get you there.  It's OK to take it slow.  I think you've uncovered your core task yourself.  You mention that your closet is "too full" and you can't see what's there.  I'd suggest donating what doesn't make you happy, but perhaps trying capsule dressing for awhile -- rotating items in an out in large capsule that you wear for 2-6 weeks.  Let your current capsule have the prime real estate in your closet. I've been focused on on wardrobe building, and when I release an item, it's because it doesn't serve my larger purposes.  It's like a builder taking unused bricks to Habitat's Re-Store because it doesn't work with the new foundation.  I'm more focused on learning from what doesn't work, buying within my means (which is a tough challenge with my tastes), and creating a style that sends me out into the world feeling confident, comfortable, and ready to be my best self. I'm well aware of some of the "original source material" behind some of our "stuff guilt."  Matthew 19 / Luke 12:13-21 are important lessons for me.   Not preaching here, just sharing.  For me, of course, there is an effort to remind myself to seek God first, but all of us have goals higher than our stuff! I have a small closet (but I kicked my DH out of it), although I do have several drawers for loungewear, underwear and gear.  Right now, I have a holding bin for things that I love but won't wear, or that almost fit (I only keep these for a year), and I put out of season or probationary clothes toward the back of the rod, or the top of the shelves. Because I tend to evaluate my wardrobe by outfit creation once or twice a week --- a half an hour or so playing around in my closet.  I remove items that aren't serving my goal of a real wardrobe -- with a sense of ensemble, not just star players and cool clothes, as I play.  I have a basket for Goodwill that I donate when it's full.  Removing things slowly, and in the cause of having a better working wardrobe, makes letting go much easier. I have mistakes.  Even post YLF.   I try to make these items work and, even when I fail, I often learn something in the process.  I feel these mistakes are fewer now, but it took me a while! Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not/page/2#post-1306359 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 19:14:13 +0000 Elizabeth P 1306359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Eliza, I think this For example, my excessive closet of too many unworn items wastes a lot of time for me. It creates additional waste when I add unwanted duplicates because I forget what I have. It wastes psychic energy to sort through it all. sums things up perfectly for me, and why I want to deal with the issue.  Last winter I "picked up" a black cashmere sweater at Costco, only to discover I'd purchased the almost exact same one the year before AND HAD NEVER WORN IT.  Forgotten all about it, obviously.  Didn't need it, obviously.  I want to be more aware, and more careful.  I know that example may be more about the shopping than the culling, but I do think the two go hand in hand. OK, I haven't got a hope of addressing each and every one of you.  I've read all the posts about five times now, and there is so much good stuff here!  But now it's almost time to leave work, I do actually have some stuff to do that I get paid to do and I have a busy evening ahead.  So once again, thank you all!  And keep the musing coming, off topic or not.  I think we are all learning from the thinking and articulating process. unfrumped on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306356 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 19:13:23 +0000 unfrumped 1306356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can so relate! I don't think I'm a "hoarder", really, I just have trouble with tossing something until I can see that it is so not right. "Mostly right" things are hard to let go of. It is becoming easier if I can really see I haven't worn it in 3 years! But the one year mark for me hasn't worked so well. I think the holding zone and the focused color palette have helped the most. So, if you can identify things you are not wearing right now, move them out. I try to have several zones (even if just marked off on same rack): off season (love and will wear when temps change); holding zone--not wearing but not sure why and seem to still fit, flatter; and chopping block definites or definite-maybe's--perhaps I'm collecting a batch to send to Twice, for example. That  holding zone may work for you to de-clutter your main closet but allow things to rest in another zone. Then, I have to re-visit the holding zone every few months. Sometimes things become "clear" then. Color palette helped me because I could tell I was struggling with too many different colors and not enough versatility--I wanted more things to mix and match, and I wanted footwear and handbag colors to have some goal of what would go with things. So, even if an item was in good shape, I could see that I really needed a similar, or similar purpose, item in a better color. So I could let it go and then put a goal on my replacement or fun-to-have list. In addition, it helped with shopping--I might think I "loved" an item, but if it were in an off color or hard to work with color, it became easier to say, wait. The other thing was I became more realistic about the fact that I liked to get new things and that I liked many of my new things better than the older--so I began to get over the idea of, "but I'll never find another ___" . That speaks to what Suz said--"what's the worst thing that can happen?". A lot of times the answer is, I'll actually find something that works better. But if it's really a HEWI--sometimes a pair of comfortable shoes or   pants that fit well but for some reason aren't being worn, or even a jacket that's a little ho-hum but very versatile, then that's when I don't worry about holding on (in holding zone perhaps). DonnaF on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306323 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:57:46 +0000 DonnaF 1306323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Culling 40 items is HUGE!!!  I come from Depression era parents; after my dad passed away we discovered that he had recycled Jockey shorts elastic for some use in his workshop.  And my mom still has clothes in one of her closets from the '80s and more from the '90s.  Take a rest from the clothes for awhile.  Do you have a lot of accessories and jewelry?  After watching a film set in the '80s, I realized that maybe the reason I wasn't wearing some of my jewelry was because the pieces were so DATED.  And scarves get dated, too.  That stuff doesn't take up a whole lot of physical room so I wasn't forced to cull, but it does make for (quite a bit of) clutter. For me, once I cull a bit it makes it easier for me to go back and remove even more since I got the juices moving.  Physics and inertia, ya know?  I still have scarves and costume jewelry more than a decade old, however.  :)  With some I probably haven't worn in over five years.  Little steps; little steps. Keturah on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306279 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:18:29 +0000 Keturah 1306279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Everyone has already made excellent points on the consumerism, moralism, guilt, emotion, etc. we have attached to clothing and fashion. <div> </div><div>As far as just purging... I did that this spring. I didn't count the items, but I did have two, heaped-high boxes jammed full of clothes, everything from gorgeous silk-cotton capris and J. Crew boatneck tees, to all sorts of items I had purchased, thrifted and saved throughout the past 3+ years. A lot of it was a style I was shedding (the pin-up, high maintenance glamour look). Some things didn't fit well anymore, or were wearing out. The boxes sat in my rooms for weeks - sort of a un-intentional holding zone. Finally got them to my car and they've sat there for 2-3 weeks. And now, it's absolutely time to take them to the thrift store and let them go. The only item I still think about retrieving is this flounced and ruffled bohemian maxi dress with spaghetti straps. But it's the wrong colors and a bit short for tall-legs me. That is the only item I can't get out of my head. (And wouldn't you know, it's the $2.00 dress I thrifted.)</div><div> </div><div>For me, it was just time for a style renewal. Most of these items I hadn't worn in months, even a couple years. I realized if I let them go I would have room for new pieces that reflected my new style. And by taking them to a thrift store, someone else can enjoy these clothes, the hospital guild gets money-- everyone is happy. </div><div> I admit to feeling pangs of guilt over ditching the silk-cotton pants. But the honest truth is, I wasn't wearing them, and even if I got them altered to fit again, I wouldn't wear them because they didn't fit my style any longer.  AND...I feel so, so good in my new style that I just focused on how good I feel now, how good it will feel to let go of the old to embrace the new. It really helped.  </div><div>That purge taught me a lot about my buying habits, what and why I hang on to clothes, my past ideas of style, my current ideas of style, and other things. </div><div> </div><div>I hope this makes you feel better about your purge!!! xo</div> Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306278 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:17:36 +0000 Elizabeth P 1306278@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Laura, go off topic as much as you want.  It's all relevant, and food for thought!  Oh sorry, maybe that was an innappropriate expression Suz on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306272 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:14:04 +0000 Suz 1306272@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Back to say...I really like rabbit's and torontogirl's comments about appropriate guilt. (Interesting...I seem to be flip flopping on this a lot!)  I mean, I DO feel guilty about never worn items or even rarely worn items. And so I should. I honestly don't have many of those. But that's largely luck. After all, I came here after weight loss and have been building the wardrobe up. So am in a slightly different position than, say, someone like Tanya who has been the same size for a long time.  Anyway, I also really, really like rabbit's idea of tracking and not purging until she has an accurate idea of what is getting worn. I'm going to start to do that.   Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306267 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:09:31 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1306267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Two quick thoughts, and I hope you forgive me, Elizabeth, for continuing to go a bit off-topic: I've had the same experience as rabbit with the word purging, and I kinda wish we used another term for it here - maybe culling? Clearing out? Purging has harsh connotations even without the eating-disorders issue. I wrote this in a PM to Mo as we were talking about this, too - I think the guilt is gendered experience for a lot of us. I don't know many men who feel guilty about the amount of money they spend on their hobbies (and fashion is a hobby for a lot of us), but I know a lot of women who do. Worth pondering, I think. Elizabeth P on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306254 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:54:36 +0000 Elizabeth P 1306254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, I'm not alone!  It's actually quite comforting to know that many of you DO understand.  I don't feel the need to purge just to purge.  My closet is too full.  Things get crushed.  I don't wear the things I love as often as I should, because I feel I have to wear the things I have.  Silly.  So while I do appreciate that I will never be minimal, and don't feel pressure to hit a number, I do think I need to reduce things a bit.  I'm going to try to address everyone's thoughts, but if I don't, please know that they are all really really appreciated.  Vildy, you do have a good point... it hasn't made it out the door yet :).  But it will.  I promise.  And I like your downward arrow idea. Torontogirl - I don't think your comments on guilt are preachy in the slightest - I think you are bang on.  It's a very privileged problem to have.  And being reminded of that is not a bad thing.  So cool that you did DYT!  And a T4 no less!  I'm a 4/3.  And I agree totally with you that the "style" that they encourage (?) for T4's isn't me at all... although I realized they don't actually push anything, they just give the guidelines.  I think the style shown on the course sets the wrong tone and turns a lot of people off. They need a refresher, for sure. Trying to find MY style within the guidelines has been challenging and a lot of fun because so much of it is bang on. Tanya, the idea of a holding zone that is really annoying is a great idea :).  I really do have a great closet, and when we moved (4 years ago) it was nowhere near full.  But it's too full now. Jackie, the photos idea is a good one.  Several items that I have purged have been ones I've worn and been less than thrilled with my OOTD photo when I've looked at it at the end of the day.  And I've done K/R's.  So I know the benefit of the exercise, but have never flipped it around and taken any purely to see if I want to keep things or purge them.  Tks.  Shannon - bagging up the 40 feels great.  It makes me want to do more, truly.  But they were the easy ones :) OK, gonna post this before I lose it.  rabbit on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306249 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:51:51 +0000 rabbit 1306249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I haven't had time to read in depth, but I appreciate what Laura said.  This is my perspective (not meant to apply to someone else, but just what feels right for me and my closet at this point): For me the word 'purging' has always been associated with eating disorders, and even though it's used differently here, somewhere in my back brain is that whole visual image of indulgence then ahem, tossing.   For me personally, the final equation pretty much means waste, of resources, of money, of time.    So I do feel very guilty about passing on a shirt that I bought five years ago but was a little tight for me then, so I never wore.   Honestly, I think I should, it's a learning experience and should be a little painful.  Minimalism to me, means I would buy very little, very rarely, not that I would buy frequently and then let go.  I'm not a minimalist right now though at times I have been. That said, out of control clutter or clothes that really don't work, or unfinished projects, or actual hoarding (not just having a big wardrobe that you do wear everything at least once or twice a year), yeah it makes sense to me to periodically review and reconsider and rehome.  I also understand the reselling perspective for those who have the skill and knowledge base.    So much depends on individual perspective and comfort level and ability to function and think clearly in your closet (and for all the other family members to also in the home).  So for me right now when I review the closet and find something that isn't working I first ask: 1) does it have tags, can I return it  (I track all of these in Excel). 2) if it doesn't have tags, but I haven't worn it much, but I  like something about it, can I find enough ways to wear it and get high happiness and a reasonable CPW from it with a bit of ingenuity.  (Again tracking carefully) Then if it's over a year old and the CPW is into my 'I got good use of it' thresh-hold: 2)  if it really doesn't fit now, can I consign it.  3) if consignment won't be interested but in it's good shape can I donate it and keep records 4)  if it has wearing out issues can I modify it (jeans into cut-offs, small repairs, re-dying) 5) if it's totally gone, can I make rags out of it I've bought a lot of items this year, especially in January and February.   Some of them didn't work out, I didn't take off the tags, and they've gone back to the store.   The others I'm tracking CPW and actively working to incorporate them.   I'm not letting myself purge any of them this year, if I bought them, I've got to wear them.  I'll reconsider in January.   Tracking and incorporating/wearing everything is work, and I'm wearing some stuff I bought at the beginning of the year that I don't love as much now, the fit is a little wonky in retrospect or I wouldn't re-buy for example, there are mistakes.  But for me, it's what I need to do to really know when and how to turn off the 'incoming' spigot from time to time.  It's also taught me not to buy duplicates of similar items. Suz on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306244 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:47:45 +0000 Suz 1306244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Laura said! Right on, sister!!  I think she is absolutely right that there can be a quasi-religious tone to all of this for many of us -- we're living with guilt all the time, either the guilt of having too much, or the guilt of hiding the evidence with regular purges (which, sort of like a cat scuffing around in the litter box, doesn't really do the job -- we still smell that something is "off.").  I grew up with depression era parents, too. "Wasting" feels down right wrong. But as others have said here, there are many kinds of waste. The waste of time that Eliza referred to. The waste of money we all recognize. And the waste of having things just SIT there in our closets, unworn, when, if we donated them, somebody else might use and even enjoy them . Or we tell ourselves, when half the time they would probably just go to landfill.... OY!!  I think we exist on a continuum. Some of us are natural savers/ hoarders and some of us are natural editors. As Viva said, there are a lot of complicated psychological reasons for this and one way of being is not more virtuous than the other.  I'm more in the Viva style -- I dispense with the evidence (or try to) with my regular purges. The evidence of ...what? What was I actually GUILTY of? Guilty of spending money? Well...I earned it. Right now, fashion's my hobby. I've never in all my life until the last few years had money to spend on clothes. Every single purchase made me worry.  I really DID have a 10 item wardrobe. And it sucked. I never had the right clothes for anything I wanted to do. I always felt frumpy. Now I want to look nice. Or nicer. So I buy stuff. Big deal. I guess it puts a small dent in my retirement funds. Oh well. Live for today.  Guilty of wasting resources? Yeah, probably. I am sure I can do better at this by becoming more mindful. And I intend to. But the only way to become mindful is to make mistakes and analyze them. That is exactly the place I'm at now. Trying to figure out what's a good number for me and how to organize it so that I enjoy all my clothes and wear them a reasonable amount.  Anyway....this is getting away from the purging discussion. I just think you have done really well to get rid of 40 items, and that is a terrific start. I also think you may be in a similar position to me. You had a bigger work wardrobe before, and you tend more towards the "saving" approach than I do, so your closet wasn't quite as puny as mine, pre YLF. But it's not like you'd really put a ton of energy into your style. That was the whole reason for coming to YLF in the first place. And guess what? It worked! Just LOOK how your style has developed! Frankly, it could not have if you hadn't made some purchases along the way. So whether or not you edit out the older stuff is entirely up to you and a personal preference. Maybe now that those 40 things are gone you can sit with it and decide how that feels. Maybe if you haven't worn another 20 items by the end of the summer, those ones will also go. Or maybe try the holding zone. Whatever you choose is the right choice for you.  Mo on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306242 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:47:34 +0000 Mo 1306242@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I also feel sometimes morality is attached to certain aspects of wardrobe management, maybe subconsciously or inadvertently.  As 'they' say, just do you!  :D Helena on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306236 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:43:18 +0000 Helena 1306236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Laura you've nailed what I was trying to get at. If the issue is sounding moralized, I sure hope I haven't contributed to that! And I dont believe anyone else has that intention either! This is an each to his own issue and surely the ability to purge intact items is as much a privilege as keeping them! I think there has been an outpouring of enthusiasm for a more minimal approach because for many it's far less stressful for various reasons. For my part, my comments re guilt were meant to say its normal to feel ambivalent about having so much, even healthy. I don't think it then flows that u need to get rid of everything. It might inspire gratitude or any number of equally valid emotions. Anyways just wanted to clarify my intentions in case they were coming off wrong Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306208 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:02:07 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1306208@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Quick thoughts: if you have the space, and having all the stuff around doesn't stress you out, then what's wrong with keeping things? You did spend money on them and if they're still in good shape and fit you may want them in the future. Before you say that I'm some sort of hoarding enabler, I will say that sometimes purging is necessary. But purging isn't some sort of moral imperative, even though it feels that way sometimes here on YLF. I think viva hits on something important. I think a lot of us here have purged in order to expunge our guilt about what we've bought and how much we spent on it. Out of sight, out of mind - and we can pretend that the whole thing never happened. But maybe we should feel a little guilty about wasting resources and not making wise decisions. Or maybe that's not a priority for you ('you' in general), and you have the money, and you enjoy having a lot of clothes to choose from. There's nothing wrong with that approach either. I don't know why I'm such a contrarian about this issue all of a sudden. It strikes me that so many of us are hugely ambivalent about the consumerist implications of shopping. There's a quasi-religious aspect to all this culling and purging and planning the perfect wardrobe, as if we're seeking redemption for living in a capitalist society and having desires for stuff. rachylou on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306175 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 16:20:54 +0000 rachylou 1306175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ First off, good job on your purge! Second off, I so so so sympathise. I have such trouble with items that are fine, even stylish, but not me... so I keep, but they sit. Or they would, but I instituted forced rotation and so fail in the area of consistent messaging... Peri on "On purging... or not." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/on-purging-or-not#post-1306125 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:31:32 +0000 Peri 1306125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can so relate...it is really hard for me too. And I can add one more ridiculous emotion...I worry that my old clothes will feel sad that I don't like them anymore. Yeah, that is as silly as it sounds! If it was something I used to love, I don't want to hurt its feelings. (Well, soft is one of my defining words after all.) I take my time. Haven't worn it in a year? No. I look harder at things I haven't worn in 5 years. And I have zero interest in "one in one out" or any other arbitrary forced purging. I have no numbers goal or anything like that. Purging does feel good. Purging cause we are "supposed to" is just a different kind of stress.