https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 16:01:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1597888 Sat, 02 Jan 2016 15:11:37 +0000 harmonica 1597888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, elpgal! This thread has been really interesting and lots of food for thought. I hope you find your way step by step.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596641 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 07:33:15 +0000 Cerinda 1596641@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Laurinda, for fixing the link. &nbsp;I've been off the 'net for a few days: our family tradition revolves around skiing!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596503 Sun, 27 Dec 2015 15:38:13 +0000 Anonymous 1596503@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just want to chime in and say that I love the Guardian link provided by Cerinda and Laurinda.&nbsp;&nbsp;Also I echo what Echo said re-Santa...my son has stopped believing, but adores the idea of giving with love. He has had a magical childhood, but, now he knows, the magic is no less for him. He came to his own conclusions about it all too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596460 Sun, 27 Dec 2015 02:12:45 +0000 Laurinda 1596460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Double post. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596459 Sun, 27 Dec 2015 02:12:14 +0000 Laurinda 1596459@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I believe this is Cerinda's link from <i>The Guardian</i>:<br /><div><br /> <div><br /> <div></p> <p><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/dec/24/non-christians-at-christmas-i-love-it-as-much-as-i-love-diwali" rel="nofollow">Non-Christians at Christmas: 'I love it as much as I love Diwali'</p> <p></a></div><br /> </div><br /> </div><br />It is a good read.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596356 Sat, 26 Dec 2015 03:44:55 +0000 elpgal 1596356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cerinda, can you repost your link. I am eager to read it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1596263 Thu, 24 Dec 2015 22:40:27 +0000 Cerinda 1596263@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe this story will be of interest:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/dec/24/non-christians-at-christmas-i-love-it-as-much-as-i-love-diwali"><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/dec/24/non-christians-at-christmas-i-love-it-as-much-as-i-love" rel="nofollow">http://www.theguardian.com/wor.....-as-i-love</a>...</a></p> <p>Merry Christmas. &nbsp;Happy New Year.</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1595882 Wed, 23 Dec 2015 13:10:41 +0000 Mona 1595882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Me and my husband are not religious at all but when we moved to Canada with a 2 and a 5 year old, we started celebrating Christmas so that kids can be part of this tradition. When kids were younger, we used to enjoy baking cookies together and decorating tree. I always bought them a gift too and festive Christmas dinner with friends. Now that kids are older and know what Christmas is all about, we celebrate with friends and kids get a gift each. I don't go overboard with gifts and don't spend what I don't have. It is more to celebrate the tradition than religion for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1595879 Wed, 23 Dec 2015 12:59:03 +0000 Anonymous 1595879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just adding -- my husband is from the Muslim tradition, and I'm from the Christian world.&nbsp; We both celebrate with a Christmas tree and gifts.&nbsp; He's coming to the Episcopal church on Christmas Eve to hear our friend's solo in the choir.&nbsp; His sister (also from a Muslim background) is making dinner for her family and friends on Christmas Day.&nbsp; In a couple of months, we'll all be celebrating the Middle Eastern New Year, with a whole other set of beautiful traditions and rituals.&nbsp; It makes life beautiful to have this rich tapestry of celebrations. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1595814 Wed, 23 Dec 2015 03:54:38 +0000 Isabel 1595814@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Peri...AMEN !!!!! &nbsp;I say that as a Christian. &nbsp;What we celebrate no longer is a religious holiday. &nbsp;It has expanded to mean so many other things. &nbsp;My family puts up a nativity scene and we do Advent. &nbsp;But most people don't. &nbsp;That is ok. &nbsp;I agree with those that can take it to mean a time for generosity and introspection. A time for peace. A time for abundance ( Kwaanza). &nbsp;So many wonderful things at this time of year as we "settle in " for winter. &nbsp;My children attended a Jewish preschool and we celebrated the Jewish holidays in order to understand and think about it. &nbsp;Like we study civilizations in history class, for example or like we celebrate Martin Luther King day. &nbsp; : )&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids/page/2#post-1595795 Wed, 23 Dec 2015 03:10:38 +0000 Echo 1595795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't want to threadjack or anything, but I just wanted to comment on the Santa thing. I always LOVED the idea of Santa, both as a child and as an adult. I definitely engaged my children in it, too. When I felt it was time for them to know (the age at which I felt it would embarrass them to defend a belief in Santa), I sat each one down and asked why they thought Santa would bring them gifts. Without fail, each of them answered, "Because he loves us." I gently asked each one who loved them more than anything else in the whole world. They thought and then nodded and smiled, and we never spoke another word of it again. They still get gifts from Santa, and so do I. Somehow, Santa never got the memo that I moved, though, so he drops the gifts for me at my mum's house. I agree that debt or living beyond one's means is not a good thing, but in my experience a belief in Santa never has to be "crushed". Indeed, if handled properly, I think it can really open a person's heart to the joy of giving and deepen their love and trust in their parents and family. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595792 Wed, 23 Dec 2015 02:59:09 +0000 Laurinda 1595792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Happy Holidays</b> is a kind and respectful greeting. Best of all it is intended to include everyone.</p> <p>For those interested in how Christmas celebrations have evolved in the US, I recommend&nbsp;<i>The Battle for Christma</i>s by Stephen Nissenbaum (1997).&nbsp;</p> <p>From Publishers Weekly:&nbsp;<i>Christmas in America hasn't always been the benevolent, family-centered holiday we idealize. The Puritans of the Massachusetts Bay Colony so feared the day's association with pagan winter solstice revels, replete with public drunkenness, licentiousness and violence, that they banned Christmas celebrations. In this ever-surprising work, Nissenbaum (Sex, Diet, and Debility in Jacksonian America), a professor of history at the University of Massachusetts, conducts a vivid historical tour of the holiday's social evolution. Nissenbaum maintains that not until the 1820s in New York City, among the mercantile Episcopalian Knickerbockers, was Christmas as we know it celebrated. Before Washington Irving and Clement Clarke Moore ("A Visit from St. Nicholas") popularized the genteel version, he explains, the holiday was more of a raucous festival and included demands for tribute from the wealthy by roaming bands of lower-class extortionists. Peppering his insights with analysis of period literature, art and journalism, Nissenbaum constructs his theory. Taming Christmas, he contends, was a way to contain the chaos of social dislocation in a developing consumer-capitalist culture. Later, under the influence of Unitarian writers, the Christmas season became a living object lesson in familial stability and charity, centering on the ideals of bourgeois childhood. From colonial New England, through 18th- and 19th-century New York's and Philadelphia's urban Yuletide contributions, to Christmas traditions in the antebellum South, Nissenbaum's excursion is fascinating, and will startle even those who thought they knew all there was to know about Christmas.&nbsp;</i><i><br /></i> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595468 Tue, 22 Dec 2015 13:40:43 +0000 Diana 1595468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For the record, I say "happy holidays" because I don't celebrate any specific event but I do enjoy and celebrate the festive season. On occasion, I wish people a Happy New Year but that seems odd in the first half of December. But I don't mind if others wish me merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, etc. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595401 Tue, 22 Dec 2015 04:33:26 +0000 Anonymous 1595401@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Merry Christmas, Cerinda!&nbsp; God bless us, every one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595390 Tue, 22 Dec 2015 04:07:26 +0000 Cerinda 1595390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, Elpgal, it is a puzzle finding ways to hold one's own traditions in the midst of secularization, globalization, and commercialization. &nbsp;My kids attended a school that celebrated Christmas as a religious festival, and sometimes they <i>did</i> have difficulty accepting that Christmas just wasn't part of our tradition. &nbsp;But they grew up with our music and our holidays and our blessings, and our friends --Wiccan, Christian, Jewish, Atheist-- coming to our house to share our celebrations. &nbsp;They also grew up feeling welcome guests in those others' celebrations.</p> <p>This year, I find myself annoyed at being wished "Happy Holidays." &nbsp;It feels flat and generic to me. &nbsp;My holidays are over for the winter (Hanukkah isn't a very big deal among our friends, family, or community anyway). &nbsp;Wish me "Merry Christmas," everybody: &nbsp;I am HAPPY to share in your goodwill. &nbsp;Tell me, "Have a good Solstice." &nbsp;Wish me "Happy New Year." &nbsp;I'm with Gaylene on inclusivity. &nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595358 Tue, 22 Dec 2015 02:46:57 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1595358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, I remember feeling really embarrassed when I found out Santa wasn't real, as well as somewhat angry at my parents for participating in such a longstanding lie. Obviously that was when I was young and I understand the larger context now, but if I had kids I don't think I would perpetuate the Santa thing.</p> <p>What many of you are talking about is why I find the expansion of Christmas so frustrating. It's not even secularization at this point, it's gotten so everyone no matter what their religion or background is not only allowed to participate, but expected to. When I was a kid you could say "oh no, I'm Jewish" or whatever, and that was enough explanation. Now the commercial and gift giving aspects are so normalized that you can't opt out without being seen as a grinch and a horrible person. And the pre-christian traditions have been rolled up into Christmas, for sure, but it at base is still a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ, and to pretend that it's not and is about 'giving' and 'family' or whatever - I mean, maybe it is for individual people and that's great, but it's disengenous to say it's not Christian at its base, and thus assimilationist, as grad fashionista mentions.</p> <p>I was raised Christian and my family of origin as well as my husband's is still religious, so I participate in some of the religious and some of the secular stuff when I visit them, and a bit of gift giving and minor decorating at home. I celebrate all the solstices, equinoxes, and cross quarter days already (I'm a bit of a Buddhist pagan fusion at this point), so I usually do a little something for the winter solstice, but by myself, not as part of a larger group.</p> <p>I honestly don't know what I'd do about Christmas if I had kids. It would be hard for me to not let them participate in some way, because I'm not specifically Jewish or Hindu or even Christian in a way that would make me avoid the secular aspects and celebrate it as a religious occasion only. But I don't know that I'd feel good about letting it be just about presents and Santa, either. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595333 Tue, 22 Dec 2015 01:37:21 +0000 Anonymous 1595333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As one who is probably in the minority, I celebrate Christmas as a sacred religious feast day, and am appalled at all the busyness and commercial stuff going on. Advent, the weeks leading up to Christmas, is meant to be a quiet time of meditation and peace. I especially object to the lengths people go to to instill a belief in Santa. I see practically homeless parents spending money that they don't have to buy children expensive gifts just because that is what the child has asked for. The child's belief in Santa is going to be crushed sooner or later anyway and the biggest trauma is usually embarrassment. If you want a child's trust, be truthful or at least ask them what they think. They probably know or suspect anyway. Sorry to get off the topic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595281 Mon, 21 Dec 2015 22:20:33 +0000 gradfashionista 1595281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't grow up in a Christian home, and because of that, I notice the religious, assimilationist, and missionizing undertones to holiday festivities. Secular Christians don't notice it as much because Christianity is their norm, and the norm in Western society, so there's a certain desensitization and acceptance of certain beliefs. If you cultivate a love of your religion/tradition in the home, the kids shouldn't feel too left out not receiving gifts, though. Create your own rituals in which the kids can participate. For me, the holiday season is still pleasant because other people are cheery, and because it's a chance to visit family and friends. These are all fun activities, even in the absence of gifts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1595013 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 21:41:33 +0000 ramya 1595013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm elpgal growing up in India , my mom and I made a Christmas tree at home with ferns and plants and decorated them and made a nativity scene with my dolls. Now in Norway I see my friends put up a tree and lights for kids and they get one gift for Diwali and 1 for Christmas. Oh new clothes for Diwali too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594996 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 19:49:05 +0000 rachylou 1594996@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe I shouldn't say this... But although Chinese food and a movie is a very American thing, I believe this can be done all over the world. Albeit it was actually after Christmas, I had some really bad Chinese food in an Austrian town - like not an uber city, not Vienna or anything - and yes, like Arizona bad - but it was Chinese! I think my people have even opened a restaurant at the the North Pole for Santa and the elves. However, they probably have to do a dvd for the movie part... Right, and no offense to my former state, Arizona I found had really good sushi and it was landlocked! Az also seemed to have a lot of surfers, which I totally don't get... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594919 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 12:39:06 +0000 kkards 1594919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachylou--- I can't believe that I forgot to mention that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594901 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 06:22:52 +0000 rachylou 1594901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So right... The traditional thing to do on Christmas, when it is not your tradition, is Chinese food and a movie... No really! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594852 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 02:10:48 +0000 Nebraskim 1594852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband and I only celebrate it as secular holiday. We exchange gifts and enjoy a nice formal meal. But we do not put up a tree or decorate. I do attend and enjoy a couple of annual holiday concerts because I truly enjoy the music and pageantry for its beauty, not so much its religious meanings. We don't have children so we've never faced that concern. I enjoy the season because it's beautiful and people are joyful, but I try to not succumb to the pressure of decorating, etc. I also try to not be judgy about other people's tradition and I do not get all uppity if someone says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holiday." I just say, "thanks, you too!" Several years ago, I overhead a conversation at the grocery where the clerk said to the little boy in line in front of me, "what are you hoping Santa will bring you?" The mother very frostily said, "We do NOT believe in the lie of Santa. Tell her who brings you your gifts." "Baby Jesus brings my gifts," the child said. Alrighty then.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594850 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:45:25 +0000 Echo 1594850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While many people are not aware, like previous posters have mentioned, Christians co-opted a Pagan celebration and imposed their own beliefs upon it. It was already ingrained in the culture that people celebrated around the time of the solstice, so that is when Christians chose to celebrate the birth of their saviour. While historically there may likely have been a Jesus, no one knows when he was born.&nbsp;</p> <p>My family was Christian in passing. In other words, if someone asked my mum what religion she or the family was, she would tell them we were Methodist, but we rarely attended church and never, ever celebrated Christmas as anything but a secular holiday. I am firmly atheistic, and I love the lights and gifts and giving and celebrations. If I lived in another culture, I would happily adopt their major holidays as my own, in a purely secular sense. When in Rome, after all...</p> <p>My kids understand why some people celebrate the holiday in the religious sense, and I have explained why we do not believe in that aspect of the celebration, but time with family, good meals and an emphasis on giving are never a bad thing, IMO. I think kids have a better capacity than we give them credit for for separating the fun from the meaningful. The holidays you make meaningful will be the ones that make an impression for them, and religious meaning does not automatically seep into any holiday unless that is what is emphasized. I think it is possible to take part in culturally mainstream holidays yet still having a child understand and be clear in their own beliefs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594833 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 00:22:28 +0000 Laurinda 1594833@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for starting an interesting thread! We are such a diverse group, it has been fun to read the replies. </p> <p>As atheists with Nordic roots my family celebrates with the secular aspects of the shortest day of the year (an evergreen tree, lights, gifts, food &amp; family) and some years might respectfully attend religious services with others in our family. </p> <p>Best wishes with whatever you decide. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594818 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 22:36:58 +0000 elpgal 1594818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are all so wise! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on a somewhat sensitive topic. Much to ponder about.</p> <p>To answer a few questions - yes, we live in the US, have lived here for a while and will continue to do so. We go to all the Christmas/holiday parties we are invited to and have no problems participating in the gift exchanges and secret Santas. We take a 'hostess' gift to these events but have never given any personal gifts. </p> <p>We also host get-togethers in December but they are not holiday-themed or Christmas themed. Just an opportunity to get together with friends who are not traveling and visitors to our city.</p> <p>The Hindu festivals are in November (Diwali) and there is another one coming up in January and it is nothing large-scale. A few Indian families I know started exchanging gifts for Diwali but by the time December rolled around, the kids forgot all about it and they ended up having to do another round of gifts. Too funny! </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594790 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 20:55:25 +0000 Anonymous 1594790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Actually, the ancient Romans used fir trees to decorate their temples during Saturnalia.&nbsp; It reminded them of the new life to come in the spring.&nbsp; Another old custom that has carried forward and been adopted by the newer religions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594785 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 20:23:18 +0000 Barbara Diane 1594785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm Jewish and we have never celebrated Christmas in our home. I was told that a Christmas tree is evergreen as it is a symbol of Jesus's life and resurrection, or immortality (I can't remember exactly) so I wouldn't consider it a secular symbol. My sons have celebrated Christmas with others in their homes or at restaurants. It can be a little hard to not be Christian in December in the US but I think we can discuss it as another part of the wonderful diversity here. But I do think it is useful to acknowledge it can heighten feelings of "otherness". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594777 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 18:55:30 +0000 Diana 1594777@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm atheist, my family is mostly atheist/agnostic, and my husband (and his family) are Christian. As a child, we celebrated Christmas in a purely secular manner. We had a tree and presents and a holiday party. I think my parents mostly did it so we (the kids) wouldn't feel left out; we had many Christian and Jewish friends so we're also exposed to many of those traditions growing up. I'm glad we did it. When it was just me, I didn't celebrate it in any meaningful sense (I mean, I went to holiday parties and gave gifts where socially expected, but that was it). Nowadays, I celebrate it with my husband's family, although to be perfectly honest certain aspects of it (the religious part, but also the heavy emphasis on gift giving) leaves me cold. I do like the family focus and the idea of celebration/festivity to brighten up a long winter. I do actually like having/decorating Christmas trees too. :)</p> <p>If we have kids, obviously the in laws would expect us to go all out, and I do think it's nice/fun for kids. I do wish it was less about presents though and I'm not sure how I'd implement that. (At the moment, I give few gifts and try to make them really good/thoughtful ones, but don't expect little kids to understand my philosophy, lol). Plus let's face it, Christmas is so ingrained in American culture it's hard to avoid it. Everyone has holiday parties and gets Christmas (not other winter holidays) off, and there is Christmas music/decorations everywhere. </p> <p>Do you have other cultural/religious winter celebrations or traditions around Christmas time?. my family celebrates Chinese New Year (and I still do) but that's generally in late jan/early February so not really an alternative to Christmas celebrations. So we had secular Christmas. I think as long as there is some sort of major celebration/ event in December actually celebrating Christmas at home would not be necessary. I do think it's nice for kids to have *something* to celebrate at home. FWIW, my Jewish friends growing up usually had some sort of Hanukkah decorations/gifts/etc and didn't seem to feel left out, etc. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/not-celebrating-christmas-and-kids#post-1594771 Sat, 19 Dec 2015 18:33:57 +0000 Gaylene 1594771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To me, Christmas is two celebrations--one religious and one secular. And I've applied that thinking to any cultural celebration with religious overtones when I've had the opportunity to participate in the festivities. As long as adherents understand and accept my participation as an observer, not a believer, I see no harm in celebrating with them. </p> <p>I also think it is very hard to ignore major religious celebrations when you live in a country where the majority of the inhabitants belong to the same religion, especially if you have children. To me, if you pick the secular aspects of the celebration that are in your comfort zone, it's a good opportunity to teach children tolerance and respect for others without compromising your own values. But, then, I think our world would be a much place if we were all taught to embrace inclusiveness instead of separation. </p>