https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 11 Apr 2026 22:20:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74239 Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:43:12 +0000 Angie 74239@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can see light at the end of tunnel already, PF! Keep us posted each step of the way.</p> <p>Cathy, I’m sure you’re a fine specimen to clone :0) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74226 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:41:45 +0000 cciele 74226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie -- heh, perhaps you should wait until you meet me to decide ;)</p> <p>PalmFronds, a lot has been going on in your life; I'd say keep it simple and start (re)building slowly, one piece at a time. When I started revamping my wardrobe, I made the mistake of latching onto one type/style of clothing, buying a whole lot of that style, then realizing it didn't work out so hot!</p> <p>Anyhow, it sounds like you'll fit in here just fine! No forgiveness necessary; we all like to share and learn from each other. I look forward to seeing pics of your outfits. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74203 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:31:27 +0000 PalmFronds 74203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>CCiele,Shiny and Kari,<br /> Thank you so much for your welcomes too, and you are all right on with some of your thoughts.</p> <p>Shiny, Some of the issue is definitely being quite self-critical, as I always have been. Good things and bad things come from that I guess--keeps you pushing forward and upwards but also keeps you up at night :-). I found for a while I had gotten into too much of a rut saying almost everyday "well this is the best I can do" while feeling really not great about it, heaving a big sigh and walking out the door.I think I just kind of gave up, even though really many folks again would have said,"she doesn't look so bad." I never went out in sweats or dirty clothes etc, but I felt old and VERY unstylish.</p> <p> There were tons of other things going on to make this tough though, so I appreciate cciele's insight about other factors affecting our styles and impression of what is going on--I recently moved locations cross country and quite miss the west coast, I had twin girls three years ago, my body changed in all sorts of ways I did not anticipate, I grew my hair out(whew! bad growing out stages there), I discovered that I was not going to be the full-time doc I had planned but instead really liked being at home with my kids and now didn't fit in with most of my peers, and some health issues have popped up this past year. I guess it was a bit much asking for my clothes and style to keep pace with all that change!</p> <p>I did have the "too young for me" thing going on for a while, but I have mostly gotten over that.I do still chose more mature styles. I recall a YLF entry I read a few weeks back where Angie talked about Reese Witherspoon's style(which I really like) . Angie noted that although Reese picks great clothes, she seemed to have matured too quickly and lost some fun in her style--that's me I think. Currently I tend to pick good clothes but they lack fun alot of the time.I hope the accessories and a new hairdo will help me switch that up!</p> <p>So starting from ground zero seemed like a good way to get going again. I will often try something in the store unless I can tell right off it is a no-go for my body type or modesty level. I love to shop(vice, vice, vice) but will not spend alot of money on things which sometimes bites me in the butt(or in the feet, since I often buy cheap shoes--more vice, vice, vice). I do have a strong picture in my mind of how I would like to look(with some occassional bombshell daydreams but I now accept that Angelina/Halle-I-am-not). I would like to be elegant but approachable, and not look like I worked hard to do it--asking too much ? :-)</p> <p>I have started taking some pics of my daily outfits and went on a closet rampage last night, tossing and reorganizing like a mini tornado. I do have TONS of questions too for all of you. Please forgive me in advance :-)</p> <p>Cheers! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74164 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:02:23 +0000 shiny 74164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are a couple of clues in your posts that make me wonder if part of the issue is about feeling comfortable enough to take fashion risks? </p> <p>Before YLF, I think that was a big part of my own issue. I had this vision in my mind of what I wanted to look like and present to the world, and I would buy the clothes but then something would stop me from wearing them or I would find myself toning the outfit down right before I went out the door. There's a little bit of that "saving my good clothes" thing, but also a lot of insecurity about taking the risk and wearing the good clothes. Does that make sense?</p> <p>Especially if you have a husband who has great taste but likes very classic (safe) clothes, and a sister who's taste is totally different than yours (and perhaps you view her as going too far with her risk-taking?). Then add into that all the various personas you must take on to dress appropriately for your world as physician, writer, mom, 30-year old. It can be daunting. </p> <p>For example, to this day, I find myself heavily editing and erring on the side of "safe" and not too fashion forward on the days I have to go into the office. It takes me forever to dress on those days, LOL, because I overthink it too much. And inevitably end up feeling like I'm "close but no cigar" because I'm learning to be comfortable in more interesting outfits, not safe ones. </p> <p>And when my teen daughters are with me, I find myself editing once again: no graphic tees, for example, because that's what they would wear and I want to look like their mom. </p> <p>I feel most at home with my outfits when I dress to go out on the town with my DH, sans kids, to art openings and theater and such. Then I can pull out all the stops and dress like I really want to dress. Urban, modern, funky flair. </p> <p>YLF has been fantastic for me because it gives me a group of peers to dress for! Instead of dressing for my coworkers, family, etc... I dress for everyone HERE. Which keeps me on my toes, and helps me to take the risks I have always wanted to take. Even if nobody around me here IRL is dressing like I am dressing, I know all of you are, and that gives me courage to step out of the box!</p> <p>Then also there is my own self, the inner critic. What would stop me is this little voice in my head, "Oh who are you kidding... you are sooo NOT the right person to wear that outfit. Save it for someone taller/younger/prettier/slimmer... someone with the right look, you're a cutey but that look just ain't you." Yep. We can be our own worse enemies! YLF is good at countering the inner critic because everyone here is so encouraging and positive!</p> <p>Can you relate to any of this? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74154 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:36:29 +0000 Angie 74154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cathy, you are DEAD right (that's cciele, btw). Can I clone you? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74062 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:16:02 +0000 cciele 74062@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wanted to add my welcome, PalmFronds! I'm also a newbie, but have already learned a lot from the wonderful women here. </p> <p>Regarding feeling stylish everyday -- I think it's cyclical, in a way. You might be in a style groove for awhile, then something will happen (change in season, job, family status, geography) will throw you off. Then it's time to reassess. But I look at it as a style evolution; it's a constant process. And like good-enough parenting (I have two kids under 6), you can have good-enough style -- there's a balance between stylistic perfection and feeling comfortable where you're at now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-74061 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:51:43 +0000 Kari 74061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hello and welcome!</p> <p>PF, I feel like I am "close but no cigar" every day simply because I'm really picky and self-critical from comparing myself to so many shining examples around me on YLF and the general style blogosphere. I wonder if a bit of that might be affecting you simply because you've been immersed in fashion for so much of your life! (I'm very much a newbie, and at some point I just have to "get over myself" and go out the door with the clothes that are currently on my body, and figure that is the best I can do today. Like Angie said, one step at a time.)</p> <p>To echo Ele, Loulou, and Alecia, accessorizing was really key for me feeling like I could do more to make a "basic" outfit more interesting. Participating in the forum has really helped - so many great inspirations from the other ladies here, not to mention Angie's instructive posts, and the community here is *very* safe, helpful, and supportive if you are posting pictures of experiments or looks that you aren't sure about. I'm learning more and more from every thread I read.</p> <p>Look forward to seeing more of you around here, and welcome! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73946 Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:27:37 +0000 PalmFronds 73946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much for the warm welcome Alecia! I am definitely ready to learn form everyone here. Seems like the learning curve is quite steep and we all are on different parts of the curve. I love this site --filled with women who love clothes but who have TONS of stuff going on in their lives to make it REAL, not just a fashiony blog without other substance for grounding. I look forward to hitting the ground running with all of you </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73880 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:13:19 +0000 Alecia 73880@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Welcome, PF. So glad to have you join us. You have a gorgeous figure. You look long and lean and from the dress you posted have an eye for elegance. Love it. I agree with Ele that accessorizing can make all the difference. I've learned a TON about accessorizing here on the forum. I look forward to continuing to learn along with you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73878 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:07:07 +0000 PalmFronds 73878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What nice way to start my weekend--thanks everyone! For both the advice and compliments Now that I have the body type definitely nailed down after your thoughts, I can get started on putting everything together. </p> <p>Ele, you definitely picked up on something I have been wondering, about the near-but-still far feeling. I usually am decently put together, and I try to be neat everyday. Most people would probably say I "look fine" for where I am going. But I often feel like something is missing, and some of that is definitely the accessorizing. I realized last night that the days when I feel most put together are sometimes when I do put the extra effort for the scarf, change out the bag or try something new with a different belt etc. but it doesn't happen too often, so maybe I just need practice to make this more second nature? I tend to like simple styles with one "pop" of something. I am more likely to play with color than shape in my clothing, and overall I am pretty modest as well, which I think fits with my being a mom and professional too.Some times though I wonder if I am dressing a bit "old."</p> <p>Thankfully in just the past two days when I was trying to work-up the nerve to post pics I have seen a change in what I chose to wear, esp in terms of accessorizing.Maybe I have all your voices in my head already :-)<br /> I'll try to take some pics of some outfits this next week and post to get your thoughts on what may be missing or can be done differently. My sister is 3 years younger than I am and we have quite different styles, so getting feedback from her often doesn't quite work to my comfort level. My husband, who buys clothes three times a year, is very supportive and actually has great taste, so while his feedback is usually right on he tends to like VERY simple, classic styles while I am looking to step it up a notch(I am only in my 30's right, I want some sassiness for goodness sake!).<br /> So I am for a style revival! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73876 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:58:05 +0000 Louise 73876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Welcome. I agree with Ele accessories may just give your outfit 'the cigar' x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73868 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:05:13 +0000 Ele 73868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi, PF- I just wanted to chime in too and welcome you to YLF! As Angie says, it's a very supportive environment around here, everyone is super-nice! Your question is really interesting to me, because I have a hunch that the answer might be different for every person. What makes someone go from feeling "close, but not quite there" to perfectly stylish? </p> <p>Off the top of my head, one thing that always works for me is accessorizing. When I'm in a hurry I might just pull on a favourite dress, some nice shoes and a bag and head out the door. Because these items work for me and I chose them carefully, I might look fine-even good. But if I make the effort to choose a belt to add over the dress, wear a bracelet, maybe tie a scarf around my neck- that elevates the whole look. I definitely don't go crazy with accessories, but for me it can really mean the difference between "fine" and feeling much more confident.</p> <p>You said your style icon is Audrey Hepburn (I love her too), so maybe spend some time studying her style, and what it is that you like about it. You might not have the exact same shape her, but you are definitely slim enough to wear similar styles. Your photos were lovely! I think simple timeless colours like black, white and metallics would work, as well as accessories like pearls and scarves. </p> <p>Angie's post earlier this week on changing your hair, shoes and bag might help you a lot too. What kind of bag do you carry usually? A lot of ladies here can testify to the power of a white/cream bag to bring that "pop" to an outfit. I don't have one myself but love the look. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73850 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:40:33 +0000 Angie 73850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another thing, PF! </p> <p>YLF is for every budget. Even though I adore the good stuff because I have a thing for superb quality (17 years of being in the rag trade will do that to you), I do NOT turn my nose up at budget items. My closet is full of it all: designer, mainstream and budget. I may be wearing a smart casual designer dress, but I’ll happily pop an H&#38;M jacket over it.</p> <p>There are also plenty of lasses here sporting pukka budget clothing and they look fabulous because they have made savvy purchasing decisions. It can be done. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73847 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:34:33 +0000 Lena 73847@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Welcome, PF! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73840 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:25:03 +0000 Angie 73840@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also meant to add that this is a very supportive environment. No one is rude or otherwise. You are completely safe here and I will take it upon myself to make sure that you always feel comfortable and encouraged.</p> <p>Well done, PF! You posted pictures! You are a slender hourglass. Unless the angles of the pics are distorting your figure, you are not pear shaped. You are gorgeous. That is the perfect neckline for your upper torso. Well done! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73836 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:07:04 +0000 taylor 73836@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, hello Audrey Hepburn:) YLF!!! I don't know how to judge the shape thing, but you don't look like a pear to me...You just look FAB. I'll let the experts speak to your shape.</p> <p>I think you look beautiful:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73831 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:44:32 +0000 PalmFronds 73831@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, you hit the nail right on the head for me, thanks so much for your input. The finding stye is a big part of it, but actually wearing and enjoying it is another that I have not grasped quite yet. Thanks so much for the encouragement. It must be quite fun(and constructive!) being able to meet with Angie and other members of the YLF family where you are living. Oh to find my version of Angie closer to me here in the south! Until then, YLF family will be my guide :-)</p> <p>Okay, after the encouragement and ChewySpagetti's gentle nudge(thanks!) I decided to take some pics late tonight to get started.Sorry about the quality, it's me and my iphone tonight. I am trying to first nail down my body type. Years ago before I had kids I was almost sure it was pear shaped because my hips were much wider than my bust measurement(they still are infact). But alot of the supposed "pear" type clothes did not look right on me. Then with more reading, and a loss of about 2 inches in my hip/butt during the last year I figured I may be a small chested hourglass because my shoulders are quite straight and wide. But I am still not sure. My current measurements are shoulders 37.5, chest 33,waist 26, hips 37.<br /> Here I am in the closest fitting dress I own but wear rarely because it requires shapewear on the butt:<br /> <a href="http://s938.photobucket.com/albums/ad224/azzurital/body%20shape%20YLF/" rel="nofollow">http://s938.photobucket.com/al.....ape%20YLF/</a></p> <p>Any input is appreciated!<br /> Thanks everyone! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73823 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:54:28 +0000 Anonymous 73823@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Welcome PF. From the sound of your intro you are already ahead of the game in knowing about style, what body type you have and how to dress it. That is far more than alot of us bring to the table here. It does take time for these things that Angie so kindly shares with us to sink in and come together so we can feel like we have finally arrived.<br /> Just last Monday we all learned something big from Angie's way of being stylish. I went shopping with her including fast paced walking on cobblestone streets of Seattle. Angie wore a designer dress and very nice shoes that had been previously proven to be comfortable in such situations. She didn't save her designer dress for a party, like I have always done. She wears it, enjoys it, and sets a great example. Things like this have a big effect on me, and they add up, but it takes time hanging around with Angie and all of the other great YLF'ers here. You've made a big step forward. Congratulations! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73819 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:41:00 +0000 PalmFronds 73819@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>HI Angie, thank you for the warm welcome And thank you Taylor for a gentle push towards posting--I am slowly working up the courage to do it!</p> <p>I think part of my issue is slowly accepting it may take some time to get this right. Hey, who doesn't want to look fabulous NOW? Some things have improved already over the years, and I am less inclined to stray far away from my own style now simply because I see it on a mannequin. I have atleast reached a comfortable-in-my-own skin level, but I think sometimes my classic style is too one-dimensional or almost "old' Looking, you know?</p> <p>Habit change is going to be a big one for me. I still have the habit of "saving" my favorite clothes for "special occasion." I need to learn from my daughters that everyday is a special day, and the sun outside is reason enough to wear my favorite dress!</p> <p>This weekend I'll try to take some pics so atleast I can maybe get my body type figured out definitely.Start from the basics, I guess. </p> <p>Thanks in advance! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73818 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:37:10 +0000 chewyspaghetti 73818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It really does help to have the feedback of the ladies here. If you put on an outfit that feels "off", post a photo and ask for suggestions. There are some great minds here! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73816 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:30:20 +0000 Angie 73816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Welcome PF! I’m glad that you felt comfortable posting on our forum.</p> <p>Know that there are plenty of part time professionals with children here who have gone through their own successful style renewal. With guidance, support, habit change and loads of practice, you’ll start to look and feel effortlessly stylish each day. One step at a time :0) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73804 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:35:59 +0000 taylor 73804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie has posts dressing your body type, I am sure you have discovered.<br /> If you really want help from the ladies you may have to bite the bullet and post a photo...something I have yet to do myself:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/newbie-close-but-no-cigar-help#post-73798 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:53:38 +0000 PalmFronds 73798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>HI Ladies,<br /> I have been reading and reading Angie's advice and all of yours as well for the past few weeks. It has been so much fun, and SO much help. I am brand new to the YLF community but I feel like I know some of you because I have read through so many of the archives!</p> <p>My question, which will maybe lead into some pics when I get the nerve, is how do I reach that point of truly feeling stylish everyday or atleast most days(bad hairdays excepted)? I feel like I qualify for the close-but-no-cigar award.<br /> A quick nutshell on me: I am in my mid-thirties, a mom of two kids under 5, part-time physician and part-time writer. I have always loved clothes and fashion(didn't help that my grandmother was a seamstress), and shopping was a pastime with my family. We were, and still are, big bargain hunters so I don't spend tons of money on clothes. My style is pretty much classic with maybe a bit of a modern twist: Audrey Hepburn is truly my style icon even though I have no body type like hers at all.</p> <p>My issue is that I often feel like I come close but don't quite make it when I get dressed. Something always seems to be missing to really have me kick up my heels that day. Sometimes I hit it right on,but I am still struggling to get it right most of the time. Doesn't help that my wardrobe has to serve multiple varied functions, as for many working Moms.</p> <p>I am just starting to get my body type figured out--I think I am a slender hourglass, with tendencies for inverted triangle, but have a small chest. You are all a great inspiration to get me moving, but I am feeling like I need some help.<br /> Suggestions? Thanks in advance </p>